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SLEEPER, WAKE!

Phillip Adams hard at work with money taken from Australian taxpayers:

Even when chairing, say, the monthly board meeting of the Australian Film Commission, I’d drowse throughout, which is probably why we approved so many bad films.

I wonder if Phil would’ve been so sleepy if he’d been paying for those films with his own income.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/13/2006 at 12:08 PM
  1. And thus it is explained why ‘Japanese Story’ got greenlighted.

    Posted by Korgmeister on 2006 01 13 at 02:37 PM • permalink

  2. I read the first couple of paragraphs of the article. When I came to, aroused by the gurgling hack of my sleep apnea, I thought to myself, “Lord, what unique prose! Freakish metaphoricating AND stultifying tedium!”.

    Adams writes, “dreams are nothing more than the bowel motions of the brain”. I’d say the same thing applies to the author’s conscious reflections, a perusal of which suggests that the poor fellow’s gray matter is positively alive with amoebic dysentery.

    Posted by paco on 2006 01 13 at 02:47 PM • permalink

  3. Would the quality of the films have improved if Phil had stayed awake?  Better he keeps snoozing.

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2006 01 13 at 04:01 PM • permalink

  4. It is obvious that Phil’s dream are of immense importance to the AUSTRALIAN PEOPLE!
    But of course he is practising freudian dream censorship by excising all the wet dreans form the article. Dreams that would have caused much attention for the hordes of us intelligentsia rushing off to see “Broke Back Mountain” . I can’t wait for all those cracking whips and oooh haas , “rawdide!” and lovely suggestive songs such as “homo of the prairie” and “some things queer at the ranch” .
    PHet Phil must realise that the AUSTRALIAN FILM COMMISSION has seriously missed out to holywood in this field of cinematic innovation.
    “Billabong Dreams” a frolic through the Australian bush as NRV AND KEV “discover” each other in the vastness and harshness of the land “DOWN UNDER”
    WOW phil! wake up and stert writing. your time is yet to come.
    And all the aussie tracker extras running around in shorts and tight long socks too!
    Can’t wait for the reviews on the ABC.

    Posted by davo on 2006 01 13 at 04:17 PM • permalink

  5. Did Phil attend any meetings with Sir Les Patterson? They seem to both love the Australian taxpayer.

    Posted by bc on 2006 01 13 at 04:20 PM • permalink

  6. I know only too well how easy it is to drowse if one is attending a long and dull meeting, especially after lunch, but is it really possible to drowse if one is chairing the meeting, as Phil claims to have been?

    Posted by cuckoo on 2006 01 13 at 05:19 PM • permalink

  7. Cuckoo,

    Sure it is. You just wait until the others have fallen asleep, and then you drop off yourself.

    Posted by TimT on 2006 01 13 at 05:40 PM • permalink

  8. I’m with cuckoo. He would have been wide awake desperately trying to ensure the “appropriate” films and directors etc got funding. This is his standard line he runs every so often about how laid back he is and unaffected by what others think. A know-it-all like Adams wouldn’t even be staring out the window for awhile, he’d be trying to dominate the proceedings.
    It is not dissimilar to the plagiarism stuff a little while back and how he “boasted” of getting away with it for years. I suspect it is also bait to people like us too.

    Posted by the nailgun on 2006 01 13 at 05:49 PM • permalink

  9. My Phillip Adams cartoon/caricature here.

    http://humbugonline.blogspot.com/2005/12/phillip-adams-opinion-columns.html

    Use it for good, not evil my friends (and if I knew how to post the cartoon directly in comments, I wouldn’t direct you to the blog wherein the cartoon may be found).

    Posted by quillpen on 2006 01 13 at 06:50 PM • permalink

  10. However, in 2006 I reckon that dreams are nothing more than the bowel motions of the brain – the mind’s mindless way of flushing waste down the loo. So you might as well seek the mental in the excremental, the secrets of the soul in a colostomy bag.

    Incredible.  A person this devoid of imagination and human emotion might as well off himself and save the waste of air and space.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 01 13 at 06:53 PM • permalink

  11. Well done to Philip Adams. All this time, I had no idea that he was obtaining specialist medical qualifications. Must have been with those subliminal message tapes that he was listening to whilst spending our money.

    Posted by captain on 2006 01 13 at 07:11 PM • permalink

  12. What a long, cozy trip this fat socialist parasite has had on our money. And here he is, gloating at his own mediocrity, his laziness, his contempt for the official positions he held at public expense, the damage he and his fellow intellectual midgets did to our creative industries, noting with blubbery satisfaction his country property and personal comforts.

    What is this article even about? Adams has boring dreams? I’m sure most vacuous, unoriginal people do. Is it supposed to remind us how much money he’s been able to extract from us while giving nothing back, that he’s rich despite being smug, lazy and stupid?

    What is the point of this moronic article? What is the point of this disgusting man? I hate Phillip Adams.

    Posted by Amos on 2006 01 13 at 08:03 PM • permalink

  13. #9 quillpen—Nice cartoon.

    We on the right are outnumbered in the satirical image stakes, and there should be more of such produced and used.

    I’ve been a bit slack on my own account, though, so it’s time to get the finger out. I did once make a picture of Phillip Adams as a zombie, continuing to eat the brains of the public even after death.

    Posted by Evil Pundit on 2006 01 13 at 08:39 PM • permalink

  14. Hey, if he’s sleeping, he ain’t eating.  Those naps may have saved thousands of Australians, maybe even First Natives and immigrants! from starvation.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 13 at 08:45 PM • permalink

  15. Quillpen: links to your cartoons are fine. It isn’t your fault you can’t post images here: I have that capability turned off for comments. It’s a privilege too easily abused.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 01 13 at 09:11 PM • permalink

  16. #12 what a fine rant amos - the crapulent piece of shite has irritated & bored us for far too long - the upside is he must surely die soon. choking on a taxpayer funded smoked salmon sandwich would be good

    Posted by KK on 2006 01 13 at 09:49 PM • permalink

  17. Phil has passed his use-by date. I guess he is (sort of) useful as a lingering reminder of how awful moonbattery can be, in an otherwise fairly sensible grouping of opinion writers in The Australian.
    At some point he will have to be put out to the back paddock, or at least into a hammock among the fairies at the bottom of ... The Guardian?

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 01 13 at 10:39 PM • permalink

  18. Is anyone else worried about the fact that the spearation of church and state in Australia is retreating! for eg in Western Australia police officers of Islamic and Sikh faiths, and we assume for other religions, will be fitted with religious appropriate uniforms. (see: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,17815528-28097,00.html)

    One, how is this new policy in keeping with the important principle concerning the separation of church and state.

    Two, will fundamentalist Christians be able to fix crucifixes to their uniforms, and then what of Satanists? and other religious minorities?

    We touched on this issue at greater depth on our blog at http://weekbyweek7.blogspot.com/

    Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 01 13 at 10:56 PM • permalink

  19. Phil the dill is desperately looking to be entombed as an effigy for the masses. The Tomb of the Gargantuan Commie, I s’pose.

    Posted by CB on 2006 01 13 at 11:33 PM • permalink

  20. Errmm, at the risk of incurring howls of disbelief and gales derisive laughter, claiming in advance compassionate subsidies for being an ignorant American, who the living f**k is Phillip Adams and why does he receive government money?

    Posted by ekw on 2006 01 14 at 12:13 AM • permalink

  21. Japan Story, now WTF was that about?

    Phil talks a lot about shit. He’d know, he’s full of it.

    Posted by kae on 2006 01 14 at 12:40 AM • permalink

  22. Known as Phat Phil, he is a left-wing nut.

    Posted by kae on 2006 01 14 at 12:44 AM • permalink

  23. #9 Quillpen,
    Did you all notice that cartoonist Jef, the mocker of Phil, sells his book Humbug! through the Australian Skeptics. 
    Don’t tell me even Phil’s own Church doesn’t think he thinks clearly enough for them!

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 01 14 at 12:47 AM • permalink

  24. Fillup Addams works for the ABC doesn’t he? That explains everything.
    I noticed the front page article on allowing turbans and hijabs as police dress . I wondered if ,given that the force is short on manpower, if the powers that be are going to enlist in Pakistan and elsewhere.
    Or bring in Paki Poms to boost the police force.
    As if we need muslims in charge of our police force and who is to stop them from promotion?

    Posted by waussie on 2006 01 14 at 01:11 AM • permalink

  25. bc — Hey, don’t dis Sir Les when I’m around, buddy!  How often have you undressed Pamela Stephenson?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 14 at 01:26 AM • permalink

  26. #13 Thanks Evil, and your zombie Phil was a LOL moment. I was having a coffee at the time and now I need a new keyboard.

    #15 Thanks for the clarification Andrea, I am delighted to link to my cartoons if you are happy for me to do so. I won’t abuse the privilege.

    #23 Barrie, I am a paid-up Skeptic, and I believe Phillip Adams had some foundational role… and perhaps continuing (I haven’t seen him in my 5 years as a paid up member). If you’ll excuse the pun, Australian Skeptics is a broad church, and I haven’t yet been excommunicated!

    Posted by quillpen on 2006 01 14 at 01:52 AM • permalink

  27. So you might as well seek the mental in the excremental, the secrets of the soul in a colostomy bag.

    Little does he realize that twenty Greenwich Village performance artists have already done just that. Poor Phil, always just a little behind the times.

    And what’s behind “Japanese Story”? Or am I better off not knowing?

    Posted by Sonetka on 2006 01 14 at 02:17 AM • permalink

  28. #22 that photo is a cracker - not only is he trying to look sexy hahahahahahahahahah but it’s about 20 years old

    Posted by KK on 2006 01 14 at 03:58 AM • permalink

  29. is there any Australian ‘Living National Treasure’ who wouldn’t contribute more to of national life by being dead?

    Posted by hooligan on 2006 01 14 at 04:40 AM • permalink

  30. #4 davo,

    it was interesting to read of the intelligentsia in Australia condemning ‘Narnia’ for its Christian themes yet oohing and aahing over ‘Brokenback’.

    Posted by Nic on 2006 01 14 at 05:06 AM • permalink

  31. #30 - right on Nic

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 01 14 at 05:57 AM • permalink

  32. The YMCA used to have an advertising line: “Building A Better Y”.
    I guess the Australian Sceptics are building a better “why”.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 01 14 at 06:02 AM • permalink

  33. Nic — You mean Bareback Mountain is showing in Australia already?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 14 at 01:33 PM • permalink

  34. So you might as well seek the mental in the excremental, the secrets of the soul in a colostomy bag.

    Scat-o-logical wet dream anal-y-sis?

    Posted by monkeyfan on 2006 01 14 at 04:23 PM • permalink

  35. I saw “Japanese Story” on HBO.  Except for having a Japanese character in it, I never understood why they called it “Japanese Story”.  Wouldn’t “Australian Geologist Jumps Japanese Bones in the Outback” be a better title?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 01 14 at 06:04 PM • permalink

  36. For those non-Aussies here, I should explain Mr Blair’s neat title. The other member of Phat Phil’s Mass Admiration duo, the similarly hefty, hirsute self-appointed National Intellectual Barry Jones, once wrote a book called Sleepers, Wake! Ostensibly a call to embrace the future. But like Phil, Bazza unfortunately lives with a 70’s mindset in a Pre-Gorbachev political world.

    Posted by Henry boy on 2006 01 14 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  37. #36 - Is Barry Jones, a former school teacher who came to fame as a winner of Bob Dyer’s BP Pick-a-Box, a national treasure? He sure acts like one - he never shuts up.  Like Saint Gough, Saint Barry has forgotten to retire and age gracefully.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2006 01 14 at 09:41 PM • permalink

  38. #21: I would say the film is about a scriptwriter who tried to write a 110 minute film with 45 minutes of ideas.

    Posted by Korgmeister on 2006 01 15 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  39. #29

    thanks. drink spray on the keyboard and screen…

    Posted by kae on 2006 01 15 at 05:35 AM • permalink

  40. #36 Hamish, you mean they arent futurists.

    Posted by kae on 2006 01 15 at 05:37 AM • permalink

  41. here,  ‘

    I left it out of aren’t

    PIMF

    Posted by kae on 2006 01 15 at 05:37 AM • permalink

  42. Sleepy after having the snout in the trough far too long, at the public expense?

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 01 15 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  43. #18 Worst part is,they apparently don’t currently employ any Sikhs or Muslims but are directly appealing to them to join up in the force by designing the uniforms and showing them off to the media…
    Memo to fans of Sir Les -don’t sit in the front row…
    Bazza Jones must be desperate for an audience -ANY audience to preen over him -or he wouldn’t be wasting his time on a desperate old comedian’s show -Einstein on Aunty - er come to think of it -what audience?

    Posted by crash on 2006 01 15 at 07:35 PM • permalink

  44. Speaking of Aust taxpayers,sbs wants scripts contributed for its new series Marx and Venus (by the public).They will payout $2,ooo of hard earned taxpayers money for it.

    Posted by crash on 2006 01 16 at 08:36 AM • permalink

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