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SISTER REPLIES
I emailed my dear old mother a few days ago, updating her on various matters, including latest driving adventures. During which recently-attained speeds were mentioned. (Barbara adores fast cars.) Tragically, that email was intercepted by a sibling who happens to be a policewoman. Her reply began:
Well hello Tim,
This is your law enforcement sister here ...
I am basically doomed. Still, it would’ve been worse if I’d been driving Paul Bickford’s latest import, a dual-turbo 420Kw Mitsubishi Gaia-molester:
Paul (who represents your Brisbane-based one stop import road-rocket shop) has got Ferraris and Lamborghinis arriving in Australia soon. I think he’s planning an Earth Day speed celebration.
Bingley has only a gentle, loving sister.
Peace.
Posted by tree hugging sister on 2006 11 14 at 11:23 AM • permalink#5 R.C. Dean: Read all about it . News to me, too.
RC, “Kw” stands for “Kyoto wallops”. Apparently this Mitsubishi has a big enough engine to bitch slap Gaia 420 times.
I have two responses to this. First, it’s a truly sad day when Tim Blair would callously write a post trumpeting such an ecological monstrosity. And second, I want one.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 14 at 11:24 AM • permalinkOh. Tim ~ I left off the part where I am available (for a small gratuity, ‘natch) to counter act the oppressive vibes of the enforcement sister in your life. Consider me (for a small gratuity, ‘natch) to be an ‘enforcement neutralizer’.
Posted by tree hugging sister on 2006 11 14 at 11:25 AM • permalinkFrench YOUTHS?!!! Brave, BRAVE Officer Sister! I hope she hurt them. How lovely.
In the spirit of shameless disclosure and blatant pandering, I will confess that I have paid ardent attention to your motoring adventures, once noting your debonair, ‘gent-wheeling-about-town’, warpspeed obsessed resemblance to another famous daredevil of the open road.
Posted by tree hugging sister on 2006 11 14 at 12:18 PM • permalinkI also have a sister in law-enforcement.
I asked her one time why did she become a cop. Was it because she felt a need to help people? To right wrongs? To bring justice to the wicked?
Nope. She replied that she was in it because basically she liked to put people in choke holds.
Memo to self, start addressing Christmas cards to siblings to avoid unpleasantness.
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 11 14 at 02:59 PM • permalink#12 Tim, was that the Paris suburb of “Awe” or that little town just south of Lyon—also named “Awe”?
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 11 14 at 05:04 PM • permalinkIn the name of maintaining good family relations, I urge Tim’s sister not to post embarrassing revelations about her brother on other web-sites, without first hiring me as an agent.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 11 14 at 06:17 PM • permalink#21 Spag_oz:
A knot is “per hour” by definition!
Therefore, the use of the phrase “knots per hour” is a superflous redundant tautological error.
Seeing as the application of nitrous oxide was so effacious to the weekly Glass House audience, I’m inclined to see how the application of this gaseous compound affects the somewhat sluggardly performance of this velocipide; I’m informed that it adds about 20% to top-end horsepower, and produces even more noxious nitrates in the exhaust and causes a surge in fuel consumption- a win all round I’d say.
(I hope the valves and seats are nitrited though- sizzled valves tend to make a car a bit dull at the lights).
Some douche on the ship swiped the hifi out of it as well- the shipping line’s not pleased with the A$5K claim. Can’t be fully sikk without some rhymes though bro.
First off. Never confess to criminal offenses on the internet. I know, nobody reads that stuff, but still…
Second. Get one of those refractive license plate covers to minimize the available hard evidence.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 14 at 10:12 PM • permalinkTherefore, the use of the phrase “knots per hour” is a superflous redundant tautological error.
No, “knots per hour” is another way of expressing acceleration.
Crude and awkward (“nautical miles per hour^2”, indeed!), but still acceleration.
Once again, physics triumphs over grammar!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 15 at 01:34 AM • permalink#32, “560 bhp ain’t bad for a Bitsu.”
True as this may be, with twin turbos you can get 1500+hp from a cast iron Holden stroker.
Pardon me for not being impressed.
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 15 at 03:30 AM • permalinkThe sister (whose daughters have inherited her entirely fearless attitude)
Tim, would one of those daughters be the niece whose photograph featured here some time back?
I’m just thinking.
WOW.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 15 at 04:01 AM • permalink#36, Thats 630+bhp from an injected naturally aspirated Chevy/Ford alloy race block of a maximum 5 litres (302-307 CID).
The slowest NASCAR would whoop a V8 supercar in a straight line.
I’m impressed they’ve got 1500+ ponies from an Iron block without throwing the pistons or rods out the sides.
Hairdryers are nice, but are of very limited value on the road. I.E. Y’all cain’t put 1500 ponies to the road at anything close to a legal speed. Unless y’all from the Territory. And you need to have race slicks on the rear…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 15 at 11:15 AM • permalink#38, Whoop = flog. My bad, I’ve been drinking again…
Damn Yankee’s…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 15 at 11:18 AM • permalink
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