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SINGLES CLUB

Uma Thurman and Kimberley Davies are on the market. Prospective suitors are advised to arm themselves with appropriate gifts.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/07/2005 at 09:06 AM

  1. How about an English grammar book for Kimberley Davies (“things are terrible between Jason and I . . .”)?

    Posted by paco on 2005 12 07 at 10:12 AM • permalink

  2. OK, when I click on the Uma Thurman link, there’ in the midst of photos of beautiful women, is Adam Sandler.

    Why?  Dear God, WHY!?!?!?!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 12 07 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  3. Uma has giant disfigured feet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2005 12 07 at 11:12 AM • permalink

  4. Maybe they’d be up for a threesome?

    I’d even buy 2 coffee machines…

    Posted by Rob Read on 2005 12 07 at 12:12 PM • permalink

  5. Poor Uma.  Can’t find a date.  Of course, that attitude of seeing all men as “prey” might have something to do with it.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 12 07 at 02:58 PM • permalink

  6. she discovered he has been having an X-rated affair for five years.

    An X-rated affair?  What the hell is that supposed to mean?

    ‘We had an R-rated affair.  There was lots of nudity, but no explicit close-ups; and we occasionally let children under seventeen watch, as long as they were accompanied by a parent or guardian.’

    Posted by jic on 2005 12 07 at 03:59 PM • permalink

  7. Maybe someone should send them both copies of the most amazing! remarkable! and successful!ebook of all time!!!

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 12 07 at 05:13 PM • permalink

  8. I’m available for time-sharing between them, but then that was the problem with Kimbo’s last husband.

    BTW, I’ve got an old Kimbo calendar in a drawer here somewhere, and a damn fine sight it is.  Might be time to break it out on ebay.

    Michael Jackson has G rated affairs I think.

    Posted by Craig Mc on 2005 12 07 at 06:11 PM • permalink

  9. I think they meant an “X-Rayed” affair. See, she’s a radiologist, he’s got a bad knee from playing squash, it’s a natural. I mean, Kimberley (Jason and me, sweetest, but never mind, come sit on grandpa’s knee, eh?), what are you so mad about? She can see right through him!

    Posted by ekw on 2005 12 07 at 07:33 PM • permalink

  10. Hang on a dash. Kimbo found pictures sent by…. a radiologist. What the fuck were they from, an MRI, CAT scan.

    Love to see the radiological report.

    Ms X ray report said:

    “Chest looks normal. Two enlarged growth patterns noted on both sides of the chest wall. Area below the stomach displays no signs of hernia and narrow canal looks unencumbered at the presentt time.

    This is hilarious

    Posted by powderkeg on 2005 12 07 at 08:20 PM • permalink

  11. Did you see either part of Kill Bill? 

    The first time you had an argument your head or at least the top of your skull would be on the floor. 

    Who needs that?

    What’s Daryl Hannah doing?

    Posted by AST on 2005 12 07 at 08:48 PM • permalink

  12. And Penn Jillette is now married - what horrid luck for Penn.

    Posted by Roberts on 2005 12 07 at 10:52 PM • permalink

  13. What’s Daryl Hannah doing?

    Flopping about on the floor in search of a plucked-out eyeball, last time I saw her.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2005 12 08 at 02:27 PM • permalink

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