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SIMPLE MATHS
Andrew Denton viewer Lisa Richards proposes a solution to global poverty:
Simple maths suggests that with the population of the world around 6 billion, United States expenditure on defence at around 370 Billions it is feasible that if every man, woman and child in the world were to receive as a gift from the United States 1 Billion dollars each, there would still be 364 Billion dollars left over for defence spending.
I hope Lisa doesn’t work in a job that requires making change.
Posted by Randal Robinson on 2005 07 06 at 02:09 PM • permalinkre: “The battle for global stupidity is over.
“We lost.”
My favorite quote:“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”
-Rich Cook
The quote Tim referred to seems to prove out Rich Cook’s fears! LOL!
Posted by mamapajamas on 2005 07 06 at 02:14 PM • permalinkIt won’t work. It’s lost when bellhops touch it.
Three UN officials check into a hotel room. The clerk charges them $30B for the night. Later he realizes it’s a $25B room, and sends the bellhop up to return the $5B.
The bellhop realizes that three guys can’t split $5B evenly, so he pockets $2B and returns an even $3B to the UN officials.
The UN officials paid $27B for the room, the bellhop kept $2B making $29B, where’s the other billion dollars?
er, what?
As the famous Barbie doll once said, “math class is hard!”
6 billion people (6x10^9) multiplied by 1 billion dollars (1x10^9) is not 6 billion dollars but 6 quintillion dollars (6x10^18).
I suspect this is more than the US treasury can handle… especially given Chimpy McBushitler’s tax cuts for the rich! Maybe Theresa Heinz Kerry can kick in a few beans…
People always tend to stuff the math when it comes to criticizing America. The former Lord Mayor of Brisbane Jim Soorley got his math wrong in his column earlier this year.
Surely the world needs those who are close to the Americans to give them honest feedback. The war in Iraq is now heading towards $300 billion in cost, the equivalent of $150,000 for every man woman and child in Iraq. Wouldn’t it have been better to give the $150,000 to each person to get rid of Saddam and bring in democracy?
[http://www.thesundaymail.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,12157459%5E27377,00.html]
~$15,000 doesn’t sound nearly as good as $150,000
Posted by drscroogemcduck on 2005 07 06 at 02:33 PM • permalinkAll your deficits are belong to us!
These aren’t lira or pesos we’re talking about here. But I am curious as to what she plans to do with the other $364 billion dollars we are wasting on defense… and imagine the effect on poor Mr. Greenspan when he learns that every citizen of the world suddenly has $1,000,000,000.00 of disposable income denominated in US dollars.
The way she counts money I’d not be surprised if she’s been working for Kofi on one of his scams.
Posted by thunderbox jihad on 2005 07 06 at 05:32 PM • permalinkRandal,
I respectfully disagree with you.
1. I want her to get a job that requires giving change.
2. I want to be her first customer. (I figure she wouldn’t last more than 2 or 3 customers before she got tossed out on her can.)
Posted by David Crawford on 2005 07 06 at 05:46 PM • permalinkLisa sounds like one of those folks who believe that, for very large values of one, one is equal to two, for very small values of two.
Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2005 07 06 at 06:52 PM • permalinkThat’s the sort of math you see in the recording industry. I wonder if this is her?
Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2005 07 06 at 06:56 PM • permalinkI’m assuming I’ve found the wrong Lisa Richards?????
Posted by Hank Reardon on 2005 07 06 at 07:41 PM • permalinkI think this is the kind of math the left was going to use to solve the Social Security funding problem, too.
Posted by Steven Den Beste on 2005 07 06 at 09:26 PM • permalinkvinny:
I think you mean “Carl Marcks”, assuming you’re referring to the famous commie, you know, like Lennon.
Posted by Carl in N.H. on 2005 07 06 at 10:48 PM • permalink“Satan W. Evil” is a cool name for a president. I think George Bush should change his name to “Satan W. Evil.” I’d love to see the looks on peoples’ faces.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 07 06 at 11:26 PM • permalinkUsing her math, I only have to sell 3000 copies of my graphic novel to pay for what Tim charges for a Blogad (How do you think he pays for that Wahoomaloo V8 or whatever it is he’s been driving?)
OK, I’ll stop now…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 07 06 at 11:27 PM • permalinkIf the population was static and there was no inflation and defence spending was the same and that 370 billion is an annual expenditure then after 16 million years then you could give one billion dollars to each person and have the leftover.
I guess the cheque won’t cash until the year 16,000,000 though so best put it to the back of my file.
It’s the thought that counts not if she has the right answer. However I wouldn’t be surprised if Lisa thought math was icky in high school. When you concentrate it makes wrinkles in your forehead.
Posted by Pat Patterson on 2005 07 07 at 12:17 AM • permalinkThe math is obviously beyond appalling, but I can’t believe someone actually thought that the idea made sense.
<retard on>
OMG!! I just realized the US spends so much on weapons that everyone on the planet could be a billionaire if only they cut their defence budget by 1.6 percent and distributed it!!!Money comes magically from nowhere!
<retard off>Posted by Crispytoast on 2005 07 07 at 12:34 AM • permalinkI can’t tell if I’m mad that I am late into this thread, or glad because I got to read all the comments here! LOL!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 07 07 at 12:53 AM • permalinkRetarded Crispy Toast is right. One of the most amazing things about Leftist Retards is the manner in which they not only erroneously assume they are correct about a multitude of issues, but they build on these erroneous assumptions by imagining that either nobody had ever considered the problem before, or that some evil conspiracy, involving censorship, bribery, threat of violence or otherwise, is at work to prevent their ingenious plan from being successfully executed.
There’s a whole army of Lisa Richards out there that cancel out our votes.
I struck up a conversation with one of them last Friday afternoon when my watering hole got invaded by a bunch of union swampies. Allan (AWU member)who had taken part in the demonstrations against IR reform could not understand why we can’t just print more money “to pay for schools, hospitals and better roads”.
Allan may be the logical choice “World Economics Expert” Ms Richards wanted to appear on Enough Rope with Denton.
Allan also had some interesting predictions including that unemployment will go up to over 50% because bosses could wake up in a cranky mood and will go in to work and fire half their staff just because they can.
Skeptical me was just told “you wait and see”.
All said he was actually a pretty jolly and likeable chap but jeez!!Posted by Hank Reardon on 2005 07 07 at 01:20 AM • permalinkOne can imagine the thought process that leads to the conclusion that money grows on trees:
Q: What color are is American money, the greenbacks?
A: Wait, I know this one…. it’s green!Q: What else is green? Come on, you know the answer…
A: Grass is green! And leaves! Leaves are green!Q: Excellent! And how you get the leaves?
A: They grow on trees!!! They grow on trees!!!Q: Therefore…how do you get money?
A: You grow money on trees!(Damn Pythons, they covered everything all those years ago!)
The world is a terrible and unfair place, Lisa Richards. That’s why Tim gets 63 comments (so far) for creating a link, while young James gets only 1 on his blog even though he did all of the important snarkwork.
That’s life in all its inequitable glory. Gotta love it.
Posted by blandwagon on 2005 07 07 at 02:57 AM • permalinkBlandwagon - yes, I’m seething with impotent rage!
Still, wasn’t a bad outcome for my newly minted blog (just a couple of days old) - Tim’s link tripled my site meter’s count!
Posted by James Waterton on 2005 07 07 at 03:05 AM • permalinkIt’s the absent-minded, global poverty activist!
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She got good edjumakashun.