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SHAMING PREDICTED
Phillip Adams gazes into the future:
2008. Bush era ends. The planet heaves a sigh of relief. President Al Gore signs Kyoto. Coal and oil corporations have him shot by a “lone madman”.
20?? Finally, there’s panic. Finally, the deniers of our climatic holocaust are utterly discredited and totally shamed. The oceans rise as promised, the droughts deepen, the crops fail, millions starve ...
Former communist Adams lectures us on failed crops leading to the deaths of millions. Well, he’d know.
UPDATE. Warmongering Lunatic asks: “So, er, how does the Bush Era end in 2008, exactly? His term goes through January 20th, 2009. Is he assassinated?”
2006. Second chance. Last chance. Get angry. Get going. Protest. Pray to God or write to your MP, though neither activity will be much use. But do something! Join something! At the very least see Al’s movie.
OK Phil dear - whatever
Now I’ll write to my local MP about what Phil?
That I’m concerned that the ocean will inundate my home? That my tomatoes growing around the dead gum tree stump haven’t grown (they have) or is that you want us to see Al’s big movie???
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 10 07 at 02:27 PM • permalinkWhat year does the Democratic Senate refuse to ratify the Kyoto Treaty? (Or are Phil’s crystal balls a little fuzzy on that?)
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 10 07 at 02:28 PM • permalink2008. Democrats get back in the White House…
and you know what? Nothing changes! (At least from Phatty’s point of view).
America is still the global hegemon. Globe still warmening (cuz the sun’s getting hotter, like a light bulb, its hottest just before it goes out, fix that Algore). Don’t get me wrong, we’ll all be a little poorer: the Dems will enact policies to put money in the hands of their unproductive elite special interests. But at the end of the day, America, and its drinking buddy Oz will still have all the money and still get all the girls. And guys like Phatty and his Chicken Little friends will still be fat, drunk and stupid.
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 10 07 at 02:42 PM • permalinkwhat a twat!
He mentions Katrina, so what about all those monster hurricanes we were going to have this year??Posted by Torontosteve on 2006 10 07 at 02:44 PM • permalinkWhy the question marks, Adams? Surely the “science” on which you are basing your hysterical whinnying can predict with accuracy when the floods will come, when the droughts will burn the land, when all the fevered wanking imaginings of the eco-doomsayers will come true?
Oh, you can’t. The models on which you are basing your predictions are inaccurate? Hilariously incomplete? Climate science is not actually well understood? Then shut the fuck up, you useless insane fraud.
Posted by Crispytoast on 2006 10 07 at 03:11 PM • permalinkRe: Adam’s assassination wet dream—
Who does F’head Phil think a ‘martyred’ President Gore would have selected as a Vice President?
Does he think Al would pick somebody so craven that he/she would do the bidding of some shadowy entity that had caused a national trauma rather than stand up and avenge American principles and interests?
Where is he gonna find a Democrat like that? /s
The oceans rise as promised, the droughts deepen, the crops fail, millions starve ...
Dogs and cats, living together…!
And PhilCo’s got the assassination wrong. You can’t shoot wood. Gotta bring a chainsaw.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 10 07 at 04:21 PM • permalinkClinton was even too much of a pussy to sign Kyoto himself. He sent BigWoodenAl to sign it and never submitted it to the Senate because they had already voted 95-0 not to accept it unless it included India and China.
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 10 07 at 05:01 PM • permalinkBillions of humans and innocent animals were killed by climate change in the 21st century.
I don’t know why, but this sentence just tickles me.
I wonder what President Gorebot would have to say about this: Exploding Stars Influence Climate Of Earth
A team at the Danish National Space Center has discovered how cosmic rays from exploding stars can help to make clouds in the atmosphere. The results support the theory that cosmic rays influence Earth’s climate.
snip
It is known that low-altitude clouds have an overall cooling effect on the Earth’s surface. Hence, variations in cloud cover caused by cosmic rays can change the surface temperature. The existence of such a cosmic connection to Earth’s climate might thus help to explain past and present variations in Earth’s climate.
Interestingly, during the 20th Century, the Sun’s magnetic field which shields Earth from cosmic rays more than doubled, thereby reducing the average influx of cosmic rays.
The resulting reduction in cloudiness, especially of low-altitude clouds, may be a significant factor in the global warming Earth has undergone during the last century. However, until now, there has been no experimental evidence of how the causal mechanism linking cosmic rays and cloud formation may work.
Then there’s this:
You feel better, but is your carbon offset just hot air?Green consumers and businesses who want to neutralise their carbon emissions face being ripped off by unscrupulous operators who exploit the growing market in carbon offset schemes, a Guardian investigation has revealed.
Gee, who’d have thunk.
(both via Lucianne)
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 10 07 at 05:30 PM • permalink“The oceans rise as promised”
With any luck two things will happen.
1.) It’ll rise enough so that I’ll have beachfront property.
2.) Phillip Adams will drown (thus shutting him the fuck up).
Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 10 07 at 06:27 PM • permalinkI have to rate that as one of the most demented Adams articles - and that’s saying something.
Even Al admits that the planet will do just fine with more warming and what is really at issue is how humans can live in it. But Phil ploughs on with his ‘every species at risk” apocalyptic twaddle.
The global warming adherents don’t seem to have noticed that Al is way out beyond what even the IPCC predicts (particularly with sea level rise) and that the IPCC is definitely on the bullish side when it comes to temperature rise. And Adams seems to want to go even beyond Al.
I find it pointless to talk to people about this stuff anymore. it’s all gone well beyond rational debate.
I tried one of those “how will rising sea levels effect you” websites a few weeks ago, and let me tell you, I’m disappointed. Absolutely NO change around here.
I mean, jeez, they could have at least made the Ohio River a little wider.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 10 07 at 07:20 PM • permalinkIt was only a matter of time…first we got Mann’s hockey stick, now, in Phatso, we’ve got a hockey puck to go with it!
Phool!
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 10 07 at 07:37 PM • permalink#21,
Old Phil is unlikely to drown because, I believe, he lives on a large estate in the idillic Hunter Valley. Which invites the question: how does he commute to downtown Ultimo ( a journey of at least 200k ) for his five nights a week radio gig? Does he walk, run, cycle, hitch a ride - how? Or does the erstwhile Ferrari owner drive.
Now let’s not hear any of that carbon offset bullsh*t.
Converting atmospheric carbon back to fossil carbon takes millennia.
“(F)or its practical effect, telling people to plant trees is like telling them to drink more water to keep down rising sea levels”- Cambridge University landscape historian Oliver Rackham.So, er, how does the Bush Era end in 2008, exactly? His term goes through January 20th, 2009. Is he assassinated?
And President Al Gore of what?
I mean, not the United States; if Bush’s term ends in 2008, the successors are Cheney, the Speaker of the House (probably either Dennis Hastert or Nancy Pelosi), the President Pro Tempore of the Senate (almost certainly either Ted Stevens or Robert Byrd), and then the members of the Cabinet starting with Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice. Is Bush going to be appoining Gore Secretary of Housing and Urban Development or something between now and Bush’s assassination?
Just wondering. There seems to be a lot of important details Phil isn’t providing.
Posted by Warmongering Lunatic on 2006 10 07 at 09:03 PM • permalinkRebecca, this is totally irrelevant, but this movie (which uses the “parallel universe” meme for part of the plot) has a scene where “President Al Gore” is seen giving a speech on TV.
Thank God, it’s not our universe…..
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 07 at 10:23 PM • permalinkHey! Maybe Phat Phil is a respected journalist in that universe as well….....if so, it says little about that place.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 07 at 10:24 PM • permalink20?? Finally, there’s panic. Finally, the deniers of our climatic holocaust are utterly discredited and totally shamed.
I get the distinct impression that for Phil, global devastation would be worth it if he could witness that day of ultimate come-uppance for the capitalist right-winger energy sector pigs. Finally! The dream comes true.
Posted by Brian O'Connell on 2006 10 07 at 10:27 PM • permalink#25 chrisgo
The ABC set up a studio in his home.
All he has to do is waddle down the hallway. Even he can manage that. His producer does all the work back at Ultimo. All Phat does is whisper into the mic (hard to believe but Phil The Dill used to actually do a BREAKFAST shift @2UE about 20 yrs. ago. They took him off because he refused to take TALKBACK calls because he was uncomfortable with the SPONTENAIETY of the format. He hated talking to the public.#34 Bonmot,
Oops. I stand corrected.
In my own defense, I think it’s a small step from millionaire Marxist to environmental hypocrite.
I’m astonished to learn that the impoverished ABC would set up a permanent studio in his home simply to save Phil the cost and bother of traveling to Sydney for his radio show given the miniscule audience.The great con of Kyoto is Carbon Trading.
Where wealthy countries simply transfer their emissions to developing countries. This can be done as simply as stripping local manufacture and creating the jobs/products in some poor country like Vietnam.It’s simple, good for the conscience and does not save a single pound of CO2 going into the atmosphere. Forget pound, make that ounce. But my God, we feel pure! I’ll email Phill and tell him athen he can tell Al.
You’re blaming Philip Adams for the Ukrainian famine now? We all know how very powerful Adams is Tim, but I’m not even sure Adams was alive back then, let alone whether he had influence in the Kremlin to be advocating genocide. Think you better take the time and effort on this one to check your facts. After all, you wouldn’t want Mr Adams to sue you for suggesting he had any role whatsovere in the death of conservatively 9 million Ukranians.
Still, all in all a very considered post, one that reeks of a sensible, even-handed, moderate approach to public affairs. But do be careful with that cutting and pasting.
Posted by Miranda Divide on 2006 10 08 at 05:05 PM • permalinkOne day Miranda Divide will be brave enough to comment on the newest post on Tim’s blog, instead of sneaking in through the back door, as it were, by commenting on older, soon-to-be-closed posts.
Is that a “Naaaah, she’ll never have the balls!” I hear? O, heartless cynics!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 08 at 05:09 PM • permalink“You’re blaming Philip Adams for the Ukrainian famine now?”
No Miranda, just drawing attention to the fact that Phil suppoted the political system that gave us the worst mass famines in history.
Posted by niobium2000 on 2006 10 09 at 12:47 AM • permalink
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I read papers like that back when I was a tacher. Except the ones I read were written by teenagers who didn’t know much and I didn’t expect them to know much, and then I’d hammer some knowledge into their heads. They were young. They could take it.
Phillip Adams is too damned old to get any hammering.
Thanks, Tim; after reading that patische of craparama I need a shower.