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SHALLOW ANALYSIS

You know, Port Phillip Bay could really do with some dredging.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/09/2008 at 02:56 AM
  1. Darn it! I miss the Pasha Bulka.

    Posted by gin&tonic on 2008 05 09 at 03:23 AM • permalink

  2. Traceee could help. She’s good at giving her own channel a good gouge.

    Posted by Nic on 2008 05 09 at 04:24 AM • permalink

  3. #1 Mate, I don’t; the bloody thing left a big hole in the best surfing spot at Nobby’s: shark alley; the hole is so big, I rekon 3 of these are living in it.

    Posted by cohenite on 2008 05 09 at 04:36 AM • permalink

  4. Today’s National Coverage to the right of the story, shows dredging is shallow in news they cover too.

    ‘Gang leader’ on 20 blackmail charges
    ‘Emo’ admits teen sex
    Experts warn of never-ending drought
    Cargo ship runs aground
    Transvestite attacker wins appeal
    Husband found guilty of wife’s murder in retrial
    Fewer train seats? Welcome to ‘Kosky’s cattle class’
    ‘Bubbly’ ex-model stable after shooting
    Child found dead in mine shaft
    I’d do it again: nude teacher
    Teen’s killer shown no remorse, court told

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 09 at 06:37 AM • permalink

  5. If the channel needs dredging, why not dredge it.  F. me.  We’re an island nation.  If we can’t ship it in, we fly it in.  Oh no, too much CO2.  And it’s expensive that way.  Not to mention the carbon credits, a crock.  I’m a scuba diver and have a very high regard for the marine environment.  Most divers do.  But if ships and boats need to get somewhere, sometimes you need to dredge.  Am I missing something?

    Posted by Stevo on 2008 05 09 at 07:02 AM • permalink

  6. BTW, a great headline Tim, “Shallow Analysis”.  Indeed.

    Posted by Stevo on 2008 05 09 at 07:16 AM • permalink

  7. OT You’ve probably heard of Obama’s town in Japan, well, yesterday, in a city a little to the north-east, I found his bike and his car.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2008 05 09 at 08:45 AM • permalink

  8. Port Phillip is a shit of a place to get into and out of, even in a shallow draught boat. The west channel is narrow and subject to strong ebb & flow, the south channel has better capacity for larger vessels, the Rip is an extreme moment unless you have adequate engine power or a howling following wind to go against the tide.

    That bay needs major dredging, bugger the sea grass.

    Posted by mareeS on 2008 05 09 at 08:45 AM • permalink

  9. #8 Hey mareeS,

    a few weeks ago a few of us were thinking about a Newcastle get together. We were waiting for you to come online to see if you’d be interested. Seeing as how you’re a native, I thought you may have some suggestions for a good venue.

    Ineterested?

    Posted by Pogria on 2008 05 09 at 09:12 AM • permalink

  10. Maybe the ships should be equipped with landing gear.

    Posted by paco on 2008 05 09 at 09:49 AM • permalink

  11. Ozzers wouldn’t need that ship if they didn’t waste their money on junk like food and clothing.

    Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2008 05 09 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  12. #9- P’shaw- we got on the drink at the Breakfast Creek Hotel, and despite the best efforts of Mr Bastard to pick a fight with the wait staff we left on our own volition and under our own control.

    What’s a chap got to do to be ejected from a public bawdy house- expose a tattoo of Kevin Rudd on his bottom and proclaim “If you think he’s keen on Mandarin, check out my bot- it’s citrus city!!!”

    Posted by Habib on 2008 05 09 at 10:17 AM • permalink

  13. #9 Pogria,

    Sorry, we were away the past couple of months.

    Yes, we’d love to meet up. Except we are heading off to Qld next week, starting with the Sanctuary Cove boat show and then Cooktown.

    We should be back last week of June because the husband has things to do here.

    As for places to stay and things to do, Newcastle, Port Stephens, Lake Macquarie, Hunter vineyards all have good choices.

    I’m hoping to see kae and some brisbane people next weekend while we’re passing through.

    When we get back I’ll make a plan, just like Kevin did.

    Cheers, MareeS

    Posted by mareeS on 2008 05 09 at 10:23 AM • permalink

  14. #13 mareeS,

    I hope your plan won’t cost me more than a dollar a year! ;)

    End of June sounds good.

    We’ll try to make it a daytime meet. That worked well when I met up with some Blairites in Canberra. It’s a couple of hours drive each way for me. I’ll get in touch in the meantime.

    You’ll have fun with Kae. She’s a hoot!

    Posted by Pogria on 2008 05 09 at 10:37 AM • permalink

  15. #12
    HABIB! HUSH NOW!

    What happens at Brekkie Creek stays in Brekkie Creek…

    If they want some of the action they’ll just have to be there in person.

    Oh, did we have a quorum? I forgot to count.

    Posted by kae on 2008 05 09 at 11:00 AM • permalink

  16. A funny bit from George Carlin:

    “The planet is fine.”

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2008 05 09 at 11:46 AM • permalink

  17. In what, a chamber pot? Senator majority leader Harry Reid continues to amuse…

    Posted by paco on 2008 05 09 at 12:30 PM • permalink

  18. Tim hasn’t been posting much lately, but he hasn’t stopped posting completely. This means there’s something real big coming up, but he’s trying to distract us from the fact by making it appear that he’s not working on something real big.

    But, he is giving us hints. As with this notice about a stranded ship. Why are authorities so reluctant to dredge where dredging is vital? And don’t give me the “environmentalists are getting upset about it” story. We all know shipping concerns have precedence.

    No, it’s all about an upcoming revelation, and a certain atomic fire breathing hyper-lizard has hired Tim Blair to make the big announcement when when the humongous guy is ready. That’s right, according to the voices in my head our own Tim Blair will announce that Gojira is not only gay, but that he and King Kong are getting married under a new law allowing for same sex giant monster marriage.

    So what does Port Phillip Bay have to do with this? Silly interlocutor, that’s where Gojira is hiding out so he doesn’t get pestered by idiots and journalists. But I repeat myself.

    Be patient and all shall be revealed.

    Posted by mythusmage on 2008 05 09 at 04:57 PM • permalink

  19. #18, mythus, so what you’re saying is, nobody took a really close look at that “sandbar” the Francoise Gilot ran “aground” on?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 05 09 at 06:00 PM • permalink

  20. Report: Shallow Analysis
    Shows the System Is Working

    You fill out our forms
    Until you are dizzy
    But they’re never read,
    They just keep us busy.

    We randomly stamp
    Big wads for our files
    And then dump the rest
    In great heaping piles.

    If we stopped to read
    Our files and our trash,
    This well-oiled system
    Would stall out and crash.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 05 09 at 06:26 PM • permalink

  21. OT:

    Paco is a smokable, cheap, and highly addictive street drug ... The combination of the toxins in the drug lead to physiological addiction ... intense paco consumption can cause “cerebral death” in as little as six months.

    Just thought you ought to know.

    Posted by Evil Pundit on 2008 05 09 at 06:28 PM • permalink

  22. Evil Pundit Uncovers
    Vital Information!

    Over and over,
    I tried to explain:
    A diet of Paco
    Will damage your brain.

    If you can still think,
    Please heed my demand:
    Our minds are at risk
    If Paco’s not banned.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 05 09 at 07:05 PM • permalink

  23. This paco drug connection is, as I have pointed out several times before, a libel concocted by the Argentine government, in an attempt to get revenge for the WWI submarines that they bought during the Falklands Islands war from Paco Maritime Industries (and incidentally, they were warned that the screen doors should probably be replaced).

    Paco Enterprises sells nothing more addictive than this.

    Posted by paco on 2008 05 09 at 07:20 PM • permalink

  24. Sad O/T - Jack Gibson has died.
    Born and raised in the heartland of the AFL - back when it was the VFL - I know Gibson only for his brilliant collection of quotes Played Strong Done Fine. This one from champion boxer James J Corbett stands out above all.

    Fight one more round. When your feet are so tired that you have to shuffle back to the centre of the ring, fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round - remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 05 09 at 08:14 PM • permalink

  25. #24 Another era ends, but the memories linger on. Indeed “Played strong, done good.”

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 09 at 09:22 PM • permalink

  26. #22m This is Ruddland, comrade: we don’t ‘ban’ harmful substances like Paco.  We simply put large revenue-raising taxes on them, which of course will discourage consumption, like it did for petrol, booze and cigarettes.

    Posted by cuckoo on 2008 05 09 at 10:11 PM • permalink

  27. #23, I dunno, Paco.  I think this is pretty addictive.  But that’s just me.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 05 09 at 10:12 PM • permalink

  28. Tim’s Daily Telegraph column today - Wrestle as all the Lefties get to grips.

    It’s another ripper!

    Posted by Ubique on 2008 05 09 at 10:38 PM • permalink

  29. #27: You’re right about that, Rebecca! And our restaurant is PETA-certified because, as our motto says, “We only serve chickens that were going to die anyway.”

    Next time you’re in the store, don’t forget to try our personal-size pizza topped with deep-fried rooster combs. And remember our other motto: “The competition is fierce, but you can’t keep Paco Foods down!”

    Posted by paco on 2008 05 09 at 10:54 PM • permalink

  30. #29 paco,

    “The competition is fierce, but you can’t keep Paco Foods down!”

    That’s it!!!

    I can die happy now!!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2008 05 09 at 11:40 PM • permalink

  31. #13 MareeS; I didn’t get a chance to reply to your post at Bolta; how was your trip through the ME? I hope they didn’t try make you wear one of   these!

    Posted by cohenite on 2008 05 10 at 01:44 AM • permalink

  32. RebeccaH, #19

    Then you have the fact the big green guy is rather reluctant to reveal the inadequacy of his endowment.

    Posted by mythusmage on 2008 05 10 at 02:24 AM • permalink

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