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SCRATCHER KEV

First brought to attention during the Australian election campaign by reader Bill L., Kevin Rudd’s waxmunching moment is now dealt with by the future Prime Minister himself:

No, no, no, I was scratching … All I can say is, I think my hair style was bad then and it’s bad now.  But I think what you’ll find is that I’m scratching …

Scratching for an excuse. More from the UK Telegraph’s Sam Leith:

Mr Rudd’s adventures with earwax have somehow brought the Australian election campaign alive. People around the world have been brought together by this footage ...

At a stroke, a microsecond nibbling earwax threatens to eclipse a lifetime of hard political graft. Is this fair? Is this reasonable? No.

Is Leith correct? No. Rudd’s earfeast, weird though it is, won’t alter many votes.

Posted by Tim B. on 10/27/2007 at 01:36 PM
  1. Seinfeld also insisted that it was just a scratch. Does that mean Jerry’s been interfering in overseas election politics?

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 10 27 at 01:50 PM • permalink

  2. He’s lucky ramadan is over.  It would have been disrespectful to all muslims had he eaten his earwax then.

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 10 27 at 02:07 PM • permalink

  3. It’s not only weird; it’s disgusting and filthy too.

    Scratching? Yeah, we believe ya Kev.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 27 at 02:13 PM • permalink

  4. Let’s not talk about Kevin. His ears might start burning and make his head catch on fire.

    Kev really should do something about his hair, though. It looks like some kind of hybrid wheat experiment based on Lysenko’s principles of Soviet genetics.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 27 at 02:16 PM • permalink

  5. What I want to know is whether Rudd’s earwax is dry and powdery (as is many Asians’ -he is “fluent” in Mandarin), or whether the earwax is moisty (as with most Europeans)?

    Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey on 2007 10 27 at 03:33 PM • permalink

  6. At a stroke, a microsecond nibbling earwax threatens to eclipse a lifetime of hard political graft.

    Am I reading this right?  Does “graft” mean the same thing in English English as it does in American English?  Either my sarcasm detector is on the blink, or I need a translation.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 27 at 03:40 PM • permalink

  7. Maybe this is Kevin07 B.C. ?

    Posted by AlphaMikeFoxtrot on 2007 10 27 at 04:16 PM • permalink

  8. #7: Haw! Definitely an ancestor.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 27 at 04:23 PM • permalink

  9. #5: An interesting question. I guess all we know for sure is that, wet or dry, he finds it tasty.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 27 at 04:31 PM • permalink

  10. Go to the ABC or Fairfax websites and search “rudd earwax” and you get no results.
    By any measure, this is a real story and one that deserves ventilation.
    I mean, if a lone Howard-hater who yells at the PM on his morning walk can be page one in the SMH two days in a row, surely this rates a mention.

    But the bastards completely ignored it.
    Had it been footage of Howard - well, page one for days, AM, PM, 7.30 Report, Lateline. The full AWB treatment.

    That’s what irritates me so much about the Pravda Press in Australia. They practice the vilest form of censorship (by omission), yet have the temerity to accuse Howard of shutting down free speech.

    The ABC and Fairfax make me about as sick as a gobful of earwax.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 10 27 at 04:43 PM • permalink

  11. #10 To be fair to state-controlled media, I first heard the story on the BBC World Service. Rudd is clownish enough to attract world attention.

    Posted by Andrew R on 2007 10 27 at 06:00 PM • permalink

  12. Kevin Responds to Vile Accusations

    Such scurrilous, baseless attacks!
    I ask you, why dine on my wax
    When everyone knows
    That inside my nose
    Are moist, salty afternoon snacks?

    Posted by lyle on 2007 10 27 at 06:22 PM • permalink

  13. “But I think what you’ll find is that I’m scratching..”

    This Rudd diplo-style is the real point.  It’s poli-speak, when you don’t want to admit the truth [” The Truth is..”] and hope that you can con all the journos. 
    It puts the burden onto others and claims ignorance for yourself, and the ‘I think’ gives plausible deniability.

    The CRUD of RUDD
    There once was a diplomat Rudd
    Who avoided political mud,
    While he ate his earwax,
    He told journos “Relax!
    Don’t you like an earful of crud?”

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 10 27 at 06:53 PM • permalink

  14. Urrrgh

    Bob Brown on Insiders. Solar hot water in every home.

    drone, drone, drone.

    Then:

    the government can’t seem to see why they are unpopular… climate change, treatement of refugees, Hicks…

    *hack - SPIT*

    Who is that stupid bint on the show?

    Bob Drone Brown is droning on again.

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 27 at 07:23 PM • permalink

  15. Bugger all the limericks I know tend to start with “there once was a man from nantucket..”

    For anyone not familiar with those terrible factualbaseless union scare allegations might want to have a look at this from (of all places) the ABC.

    Union thuggery and criminal links.

    Funny how a story like that dies off because St Rudd has a chance to get in.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 10 27 at 07:26 PM • permalink

  16. It’ll be interesting to see how people react in photo ops from now on, him offering those hands to shake, that mouth for kissing babies.
    Maybe it is like animals marking territory.

    Posted by Toiling Mass on 2007 10 27 at 07:28 PM • permalink

  17. OT just caught Jamie Lee Curtis on channel seven- the California fires are the result of ‘global warming and people building houses where they shouldn’t’ they are ‘an act of man, not God’

    ahh celebrities- is there anything they don’t know.

    (she looks exactly like I imagine robocop would look, if robocop were a sixty year old woman)

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 10 27 at 07:44 PM • permalink

  18. Foolish capitalists. Don’t you know glorious chairman Rudd is merely, like all peoples of the PRC, indulging in our infamous penchant for eclectic anti-conservationist dining: tiger penises, cobra gall bladders, chook’s tooties and NOW earwax!

    Yummy!

    Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2007 10 27 at 07:46 PM • permalink

  19. Damn wrong thread- #17 meant to put that in the goblins v ubermensch stream- sorry too early for started brain have to AM this

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 10 27 at 07:49 PM • permalink

  20. #6

    Hard graft is British slang for hard work.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 10 27 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  21. My theory is that Kevin was probably inspired by the oil-for-food scandal, and was investigating his own kev-o-lutionary wax-for-food solution to world hunger.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 10 27 at 08:24 PM • permalink

  22. #20, Translation it is, then.  Thanks, Albury!  For a bit there, I thought the Telegraph was publishing dirt on Mr. Rudd.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 27 at 08:33 PM • permalink

  23. #20, In the US, graft means political corruption, specifically bribery, in case I wasn’t clear.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 27 at 08:35 PM • permalink

  24. Maybe we’re being too hard on the Ruddy idiot.  After all, they call you guys Diggers for a reason…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 10 28 at 12:33 AM • permalink

  25. Diggers…not Eaters.

    Posted by Srekwah on 2007 10 28 at 04:05 AM • permalink

  26. i think the earwax thing may have been planted by labor themselves.

    if the next four weeks are anything like the first fortnight, Rudd will be able to front the nation on election eve and claim quite honestly that no-one has questioned his policies.

    (and dishonestly that the Coalition campaign has been nothing but fear and smear.)

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 10 28 at 04:27 AM • permalink

  27. At a stroke, a microsecond nibbling earwax threatens to eclipse a lifetime of hard political graft.

    SHould this not read hard political grift?

    Posted by cyclosarin on 2007 10 28 at 11:20 AM • permalink

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