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SCOTTISH PERSON HAS PROBLEMS
Guardian contributor AL Kennedy—a proud member of the Fake Turkey Club—has a few problems with George W. Bush:
I have a few problems with Junior: the fact that he’s surrounded by a psychopathic cult of paranoid fantasists and torture enthusiasts; his loathing of the environment and his passion for apocalypses. But my main problem is, of course, the fact that the all-conquering Republican Bush clan (or Klan) has replaced the formerly influential Democrat Kennedy clan. The appropriate rightwing smear at this point would be to suggest that I have a purely personal prejudice against the Bushes - an animus of the kind that might, for example, lead someone to invade, occupy and devastate a country because its leader was falsely implicated in a non-existent plot to “kill his Daddy”.
As reader Wardytron observes, The Guardian “is a PROPER NEWSPAPER, that expects you to PAY MONEY to read it.�
UPDATE. Norm Geras—profiled recently in the Times—fisks The Guardian’s Jonathan Steele.
Ealier in the week Best of the Web Today noted—
reader Jay Lesseig…observed, “Freedom of speech makes it much easier to spot the idiots.”
Let’s institute locally BOTWT’s idea stemming from this—
Today we inaugurate “Spot the Idiot,” which highlights people who use their freedom of speech to announce their idiocy to the world.
The egregious Al is a fine starter.
Posted by walterplinge on 2005 02 11 at 08:15 PM • permalinkBut my main problem is, of course, the fact that the all-conquering Republican Bush clan (or Klan) has replaced the formerly influential Democrat Kennedy clan.
Bwahahah!
Sour grapes indeed.
As for the Kennedy clan, after the assassination of Bobby, it’s produced nothing of interest.
Telling that the most influential member of that clan is a Republican.
Posted by Quentin George on 2005 02 11 at 08:16 PM • permalinkBut there is still one likely Kennedy left - Robert F Kennedy Jnr. Unlike Dubya, Bobby Jnr tirelessly pursues polluters. This means that the Hudson river - which used to be so polluted that it caught fire - now has more fish per acre than any Atlantic waterway north of the equator.
Um, no. That was the Cuyahoga River in Cleveland, Ohio.
The appropriate rightwing smear at this point would be to suggest that I have a purely personal animus against the Bushes just because they eat spotted owls, make paper hats out of the original draft of the US Constitution and bathe in the blood of Iraqi children for their annual holiday of Bkuspathchannak’ai. The eyes of the one called Dubya glow green, illuminating the dark chapel of Hye’zhatsku located just below Jeb’s garage. This filth-ridden temple made of endangered giant Redwood, adorned with the looted treasures of Iraq, Afghanistan and Florida, houses the body of the Great One, Barry Goldwater. Once awoken, the Great One will lay waste to the earth, enslave the people, destroy the National Health Service and give firearms to ten year olds. The horror..the horror..oh no, I’m covered in germs! Icky, icky germs! Oh God, help me! Unclean, unclean!
Anorak wearing girly man.
I’m glad he took such pains to point out that his animus is not personal. Because had anyone suggested it, that would have been, oooooh, just hateful!
Do people like Kennedy write this stuff, look it over carefully, and nod, murmuring approvingly? Or do they send it in, and then at three the next morning sit bolt upright in bed and ask “I didn’t really send that in to the editor that way, did I?”
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2005 02 11 at 10:45 PM • permalinkPresenter: And welcome to ‘Spot the Loony’, where once again we invite you to come with us all over the world to meet all kinds of people in all kinds of places, and ask you to…Spot the Loony!
These people do not learn. I swear to god, they’d clear a minefield with snowshoes.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 02 11 at 11:46 PM • permalink“Or do they send it in, and then at three the next morning sit bolt upright in bed and ask “I didn’t really send that in to the editor that way, did I?â€?
I’ve wondered the same thing. Do they ever cringe when they go back and read some of the crap they’ve submitted?
I look at articles like this and often have a good laugh. But the author doesn’t intend for his article to be taken as comedy .. he intends for his article to be taken seriously.
Posted by CJosephson on 2005 02 12 at 01:29 AM • permalinkYou guys have probably seen this elsewhere but we were speaking of insane lefties convincing people to vote conservative:
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2005 02 12 at 01:43 AM • permalinkOr do they send it in, and then at three the next morning sit bolt upright in bed…
No British journalist has sat bolt upright in bed at three in the morning since the Blitz… never before noon, Steve, and never sober…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 02 12 at 01:43 AM • permalinkI swear to god, they’d clear a minefield with snowshoes.
Richard, we could send them to Afghanistan. There are plenty of mine fields there that need clearing. Might save a lot of money in the long run.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 02 12 at 04:05 AM • permalinkIn one of AL’s cries for help she attempted to quantify how much blood had been spilt because of Tony Blair. The phrase that stuck in my mind was “I am willing to ignore the blood spilled as a result of Blair’s transport policies”. WHAT CAN THIS MEAN? Is Blair responsible for ALL transport deaths, because he has repeatedly failed to BAN transport?
Anyway, AL concludes that ALL blood spilt in Iraq is Tony Blair’s fault. And again, this stuff is published in a PROPER NEWSPAPER, that expects you to PAY MONEY to read it.
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How on earth does one “loathe the environment”?
“Those shitty goddamn trees, so high and mighty, swaying in the clear, non-pestilent air ... I tell ya, one of these days, I’ll become president, and I’ll fucking kill them all! BWAHAAHAHA!!”
I think I know who the paranoid fantasist really is.
(I’m also starting to believe even I could write for a newspaper, ).