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SATIN BAG SPEAKS TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH
Anthony Hubbard observes the continuing weirdness of Robert Fisk:
Fisk says the Americans should get out “quickly, quickly, quickly”. The occupation is the main source of violence, he says, so once the occupation is gone, there is hope for peace (Ed: “peace, peace, peace”). “The Iraqis,” he repeats three times, “have never had a civil war.”
What is it with Fisk and his compulsive multi-speaking? Perhaps his childhood has something to do with it:
Fisk’s father was also, and increasingly, a petty tyrant. He would hit his son hard on the head if interrupted.
Poor Bobby’s been a punching bag ever since. Well, maybe not a punching bag; Fisk’s own description, offered to an Afghan family after he’d barged into their house to escape a Russian air attack, might be more accurate:
“Za di inglisi atlasi kahzora yem!” he triumphantly announced, reaching for the few words of Pushtu he had learned. His host pulled the children more tightly to him and the woman whimpered.
Only slowly, Fisk recalls, did he realise he had not told them he was a harmless journalist from England. He had “introduced himself in Pushtu not as a reporter but with the imperishable statement: ‘I am an English satin bag’.”
Presumably Fisk repeated that claim three times. Maybe his triple-speak is some form of Islamic ritual: “Reciting ‘Qul Huwa Allaahu Ahad’ and al-Mi’wadhatayn three times in the evening and in the morning will protect you against everything.”
“I am an English satin bag.”
As Fisk would say, too, too, too priceless for words. What a braying - nay - what a stuttering ass he is! What a magpie of a twittering twit!
Beethoven received blows on the head from his father and became a great composer. Fisk received the same thing and became - Robert Fisk. The workings of the human brain are unfathomable.
“The Iraqis,” he repeats three times, “have never had a civil war.”
...and the trains ran on time, time, time!!
( Someone had to say it. )
Posted by zeppenwolf on 2006 03 08 at 12:23 PM • permalink‘I am an English satin bag’
He’s a 16th century condom?
More like what goes in one…
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 03 08 at 12:28 PM • permalinkI think the correct translation is I am an English scumbag.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2006 03 08 at 12:29 PM • permalinkHe would hit his son hard on the head if interrupted.
Obviously not hard enough nor frequently enough.Posted by Bashir Gemayel on 2006 03 08 at 12:53 PM • permalink“The Iraqis,” he repeats three times, “have never had a civil war.”
My working assumption that every statement of fact uttered by the Satin Bag is wrong, wrong, wrong is once again vindicated.
Has he forgotten the uprising after the first installment of the Gulf War? There were uprisings in the south. The fact that they were brutally put down by the incumbent regime only means the civil war was short and bloody.
I would also submit that the de facto independence of the Kurdish north also represents a civil war of the Kurds against the Saddamite regime.
Only slowly, Fisk recalls, did he realise he had not told them he was a harmless journalist from England. He had “introduced himself in Pushtu not as a reporter but with the imperishable statement: ‘I am an English satin bag’.”
Maybe what they interpreted was something a bit differently.
Cowering in their Afghan hovel, eating a meager serving of soup and bread. Suddenly a wild eyed man carrying rolls of toilet paper crashes open the door and barks out:
“I am the English Satan, Bagg.”
Whaaa, what?
“I am the English Satan, Bagg. Bagg I tell you!”
Aiiiiiiiieeee! Quick, pummel the devil with stones and strong sticks!
Posted by wronwright on 2006 03 08 at 01:38 PM • permalinkHe would hit his son hard on the head if interrupted.
That explains the brain damage, then.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 03 08 at 02:11 PM • permalinkI can imagine the Mussies when Fisk jumps out of helicopters :
Translated from the Arabic -
“Fuck no! We’ve got some morons telling us to blow ourselves up, other geniuses telling us they want nukes to blow everything up and just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, Bobby “the satin fuck” Fisk pops in to kill off what’s left of property prices in the neighborhood!!”
Which Fisk translates into his next article as follows :
“My Arabic isn’t what it once was but as I emerged from my helicopter I was greeted by locals who said something about American soldiers killing civilians in their homes.
There was also something fishy with the weather…....It was 42 degrees in Baghdad whereas it’s normally around 41 at this time of year…...”
Fisk’s father was also, and increasingly, a petty tyrant. He would hit his son hard on the head if interrupted.
Gosh, who woulda guessed that?
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 08 at 03:52 PM • permalinkWell, it certainly explains the adult (?) Fisk’s reaction to being clobbered, doesn’t it? Business as usual ...
As for the triple declaratives, sounds rather like rhetoric per Rev. Dodgson: “Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice: That alone should encourage the crew, Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice: what I tell you three times is true.” Lewis Carroll, The Hunting of the Snark
The occupation is the main source of violence
Right. We all know that Americans fill up the markets, weddings, buses, schools and Mosques that are bombed everyday.
Posted by perfectsense on 2006 03 08 at 05:17 PM • permalinkBeetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!
Posted by Monroe Doctrine on 2006 03 08 at 05:57 PM • permalinkThe wedding song for Modo and Fisk:
I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky…
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 08 at 07:03 PM • permalinkWhat is it with Fisk and his compulsive multi-speaking? Perhaps his childhood has something to do with it…
He’s gone Rain Man on everybody, but instead of going idiot savant, he’s skipped the savant part.
Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2006 03 08 at 08:06 PM • permalink#8, #13, #16
Fisk’s father was also, and increasingly, a petty tyrant. He would hit his son hard on the head if interrupted.Is it, really, the correct, unexpurgated, original text?
An alternative reading becomes increasingly plausible:Fisk’s father was also, and increasingly, a petty tyrant. He would hit his son’s hard-on on the head if interrupted.
The Iraqis have never had a civil war? And how exactly did Saddam and the Ba’athists come into power?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 08 at 09:11 PM • permalinkReally, Richard - a violet coup and a little bit of massacre afterwards is no civil war…well, maybe…
Posted by Major John on 2006 03 08 at 09:51 PM • permalinkThat poor Afghan family probably thought he was insane. They were absolutely right, of course.
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 03 08 at 11:30 PM • permalinkWith regards to his old man, I wonder if he ever asked himself “why does he hate me?”
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 03 08 at 11:35 PM • permalinkThis reminds me of the time my cousin and I pled with a lady working at a Swiss train station to direct us to the bathroom. She seemed terribly perplexed by our simple request.
Later, while perusing our French phrase book, we realized we’d been earnestly, urgently asking the poor lady where the swimsuit was.
Posted by Sarah Brabazon-Biggar on 2006 03 09 at 12:20 AM • permalink#29 Whostosaywhatsright
Fisk is nuttier than squirrel shit.
Careful now, you don’t want to provoke Foamy’s squirrelly wrath.
=^0
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 03 09 at 01:22 AM • permalinkHis dad should have bashed the dropkick on the head with a brick.
Would have saved all the family embarrassment that Robert has visited on the family.
Fancy having your surname listed in the Oxford Dictionary as “fucking lying toad”.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 03 09 at 09:59 AM • permalink
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Maybe that crowd beat Fisk up because they mistakenly thought that he was making silk purses out of sow’s ears? No wonder he was so apologetic to his attackers for such a faux pas.