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SAGE RAGE
The inaccurately-named Hilary Sage expresses her disgust and grief in the Sydney Morning Herald:
As New Year’s Eve and Australia Day approach, I prepare for the distressing thought of fireworks. Why must every year’s display exceed all those that went before? The increasing excess has filled me with growing disgust and grief for years. Are fireworks an environmental hazard? Every year I think of all that money going up in smoke, money that we all know could be put to better use; this year, at a time of environmental fragility, I shall also wonder how much oxygen is going up in harmful carbon dioxide.
How much benefit might flow, worldwide, from turning this mania for more to a call for less?
Ms. Sage lives in Elsternwick, Victoria, about 900 kilometres from Sydney’s annual fireworks display.
Oh… worry, worry, worry.
And she gets paid for that tripe?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 12 11 at 03:15 AM • permalinkThrough the wonder of the letter pages we have found a potential life partner for Sean “of the tilt” Woodland. Methinks the wedding would be a sombre affair and the wedding night an even bigger fizzer.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 11 at 03:18 AM • permalinkI don’t get it! Poor people used to be able to get their own fireworks until misery guts like Sage put the kybosh on it. I will take her dirge like scribble as the seed of a new movement advocating the return of the control of fireworks to the needy. Why should only the elites get to stage fireworks displays? Get the burns units ready!!
I see, it’s a Letter to the Editor.
Being the Sydney Morning Herald, it’s hard to tell the ninnies that work there from the ninnies that write in…
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 12 11 at 03:20 AM • permalinkWhen I ponder environutters, sometimes I too wonder how much oxygen is going up in harmful carbon dioxide due to their continued existence. That is why I call on all environmentalists to cover their heads in plastic bags. That way they not only prevent the release of harmful CO2, but they also recycle the bag.
My old dog (PBUH) used to freak out during fireworks displays when our local show was on and would try to dig her way into the house. My advice to Mz Sages owners is to ensure that she is either sedated or tied up on the veranda away from the yard. If the reaction is particularly severe they might choose to let her in the house for the duration of the display.
Elsternwick is just a short walk from Elwood beach. Hilary could very easily demonstrate her committment to seeing harmful emissions reduced by marching into the waters - and hey, she’d be feeding the marine life, too!
Funny how these environuts who claim their species is Mother Gaia’s deadliest enemy never follow the argument through to its logical conclusion…Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 12 11 at 05:42 AM • permalinkThe New Years fireworks in Sydney are just the best. Centred on the bridge and the Harbour there are two shows - one at 9pm, just on dark for the kids (who can then be shipped off to bed) and the second, main show at midnight. Also, secondary shows at several other locations in the greater urban area.
The year 2000 show was mind blowing; soooooo much gunpowder; soooooooo much CO2. (Hmmmmm. I’m not sure that buring gunpowder produces CO2; I suppose it does; probably also SO2 and nitrous oxide??? Even better!!)
The fact that the inner city latte set have prime views, and the fact that a million or so Sydney-siders turn out to watch and enjoy them I think points to Ms Sage’s opinion being in the minority.
Stupid. Cow.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 11 at 07:13 AM • permalinkThe same letter also made it into the Australian:
The first 3 comments there were from the typical fun police types, but then some good comments restored sanity.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 12 11 at 07:45 AM • permalinkFireworks have been around for so long that they actually release phlogiston rather than carbon dioxide when burning. It’s a well known scientific fact and I believe moves are afoot to incorporate the effect of phlogiston into the next generation of leading edge, global temperature variational research.
Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 12 11 at 10:25 AM • permalinkHilary is whinging and whining - griefstricken about bloody fireworks for heaven’s sake?
And I can guess - she’s all for bringing David Hicks home for Christmas is still fretting about children overboard and Tampa and thinks John Howard is running a Fascist dictatorship and all Australians (except her and her friends) are racist
The words “joy” and “happiness” are not in her vocabulary I bet
And talking about betting - we went to the Kembla Grange races for a birthday party - we didn’t have a race guide - horses were picked by looks mainly and when I went to get my winninings after betting $2 each way on Pixalot the lovely TAB lady gave me $165 as a reward
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 12 11 at 11:33 AM • permalinkI shall also wonder how much oxygen is going up in harmful carbon dioxide.
That horrible, horrible CO2. Gotta get rid of it. Can’t have that harmful stuff around. Why, I heard it’s almost as deadly as dihydrogen monoxide!
One thought about the consumption of oxygen by fireworks—doesn’t gunpowder contain its own oxidizer? OK, maybe the other chemicals (the ones that produce the colors) use some oxygen, but I’m pretty sure the gunpowder provides its own.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 12 11 at 12:18 PM • permalinkTwo oxygen atoms getting bonded to a carbon atom… SO PLANTS CAN EAT THEM!!!
The. Horror.
Posted by Patrick Chester on 2006 12 11 at 01:45 PM • permalinkBugger the fireworks. What they should put on is a firepower demo. A Tank Squadron and a Mech Inf Company, an Artillery battery, Attack Helicopters, F18s, F111s, and see if the US would lend us an AC130 Gunship. And the Navy could provide a little direct NGFS from an ANZAC. Blast the crapper out of North head - now that would be entertaining.
Now we know who the regional director of the Fun Nazis—Hillary Sage.
Hillary Sage, Hillary Clinton.....do all women named “Hillary” lean so far left? Is this like the new form of “Comrade”?
:-/
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 12 11 at 09:05 PM • permalinkMy old dog (PBUH) used to freak out during fireworks displays when our local show was on and would try to dig her way into the house. My advice to Mz Sages owners is to ensure that she is either sedated or tied up on the veranda away from the yard.
Or you could just let her freak out in the garage with the camcorder running. Funnier’n shit.
Er, somebody told me that.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 11 at 09:19 PM • permalink“Stop having fun.”
Watch the Detroit Lions. (I used to watch the StLouis/Arizona Cardinals to stop having fun, but then I moved to the Detroit area.)
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 12 12 at 12:07 AM • permalink#42, no, she’s too busy telling the rest of us how to live ours.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 12 12 at 08:48 AM • permalink
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Those fireworks could be put to better use in Dafur.