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ACTOR READS A LOT

Anti-war Hollywood chatterbot Tim Robbins receives his wish and is taken seriously in this 2004 interview with Andrew Anthony:

For the sake of historical accuracy I merely point out that there is a historical precedent for bombs and airplanes bringing democracy.

‘How? When?’ He sits up, suddenly rattled.

I mention Germany and Japan in the Second World War.

‘It seems to be that we always come back to that. I don’t know it didn’t happen without the determination of the people involved.’

I point out that it didn’t happen in East Germany, and he replies: ‘I’d have to go into the history and the specifics of that. It came at the end of the gun but with the influx of a huge amount of money: the Marshall Plan. In Iraq, the money is going into war-mongering. It has nothing to do with democracy. It’s about destabilisation. That’s what Kosovo was about. It’s the same thing any time there’s a threat to US national security.’ This is not the typical conversation one has with American film actors, and I feel a professional obligation to steer it back to more familiar territory such as marital infidelity and substance abuse (neither of which appear to loom large in the Robbins biography) but I recall something he had said in an interview some years back. ‘The only responsibility I have to anyone is to make sure that when I talk about something, I know what I’m talking about, that I’ve done the research. I take that responsibility very seriously. I read a lot.’

So I ask how Kosovo was a threat to US security.

‘Ahm ...’ he hesitates. ‘I believe ... I’m not the right person to talk about this ... but that region of the world, this is the way I’ve heard it put ... Can I go get a cigarette?’ He disappears and, as if having remembered his Noam Chomsky, returns a minute later with a ready-fit anti-imperialist answer. ‘Where it’s all flawed is this hegemonic belief that if you bring business to a country it will help them.’

As I understand it, the law in every Western democracy permits up to eight undefended punches for any public use of the word “hegemonic”. But I’ve never studied law. Could be as few as five.

(Via Jim Nolan)

UPDATE. Extensive legal advice from Paco.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/16/2006 at 10:52 AM
  1. This confirms my suspicion, drawn from experience, that many actors can faithfully repeat words they read without the slightest comprehension of what they’ve just read.

    “What’s that in the road… a head?”
    “No, dear, the line is, ‘what’s that in the road ahead?’”

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 16 at 11:10 AM • permalink

  2. “POWER TO THE…line!...”
    “People.”

    PEOPLE!

    “Keep rolling, we’ll fix it in post.”

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 16 at 11:13 AM • permalink

  3. Yeah, “business” is no help.

    But the WELFARE state, now THAT’S the ticket!!

    Twit.

    Posted by Tex Lovera on 2006 05 16 at 11:25 AM • permalink

  4. “...the law in every Western democracy permits up to eight undefended punches…”

    What’s the equivilant in kicks to the jimmies?

    Posted by JohnO on 2006 05 16 at 11:34 AM • permalink

  5. Dear God.  Tim Robbins was really really great in “Shawshank Redemption”. I rather like him as an actor.

    I hate reading this crap.  It is truly idiotarian.

    “To save face, keep lower half shut.”

    [ sigh ]

    Posted by Andrew X on 2006 05 16 at 11:48 AM • permalink

  6. I believe the phrase is, dumb as a box of hammers.
    Eight punches is fine.

    Posted by Latino on 2006 05 16 at 11:59 AM • permalink

  7. I know what you mean, Andrew.  Actors are bad enough even if they seem like nice people and don’t have a political agenda; speaking for themselves, they just sound…dumb.  And when they’re blowhards like Robbins, it’s painfully embarrassing.

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 05 16 at 12:00 PM • permalink

  8. Makes about as much sense as his puppet in Team America.

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2006 05 16 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  9. #4: In the U.S., what is legally acceptable is determined by state or municipal law. In the one state, Louisiana,that is still heavily influenced by the Napoleanic Code, the assailant is entitled to 12 slaps or one kick to the, ah, jimmies (les gonades, in the strict legal definition). In North Carolina, one is entitled to a one-two combination, but neither punch is permitted to be landed on the same spot (there is a variance to state law operative in the town of North Wilkesboro which permits one chin punch with the butt-end of a squirrel rifle). New Jersey allows for two shots from a handgun to the knee of the hegemonaphile, but only with a caliber not to exceed .25 (since nobody in New Jersey carries a handgun of such small caliber, the law there is effectively inoperative).

    Posted by paco on 2006 05 16 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  10. Forget Robbins, i couldn’t get past “submitting to the bureaucratic ordeal that now routinely awaits British visitors to America.”  If Anthony Andrew Algernon was one of the lucky 81% of Americans who don’t have passports, he would have been spared the indignity of being foreign.

    Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2006 05 16 at 12:03 PM • permalink

  11. David Sedaris comes to mind here -

    “Fortunately, going to the movies seems to suddently qualify as an intellectual accomplishment, on a par with reading a book or devoting time to serious thought. It’s not that the movies have gotten any more strenuous, it’s just that a lot of people are as lazy as I am, and together we’ve agreed to lower the bar.”

    The main problem with Sarandon, Robbins, Diaz and the rest of them is that society’s lack of time has meant that their pretty pictures are now an art form rather than a pleasant Sunday afternoon diversion. These days, to qualify as an intellectual, all you need is your Dendy membership card and a pair of nerdtrend black glasses. There’s no call for any real intelligence because leftist twats are terrified that they’ll leave someone out and that someone might be a member of a minority group. God forbid we alienate the black, one legged, lesbian dwarves.

    At first their activism was funny, if a little pathetic, and I found the odd misinformed leftist comment to be a welcome change from blatherings about their “craft” and botox, but it’s getting to be irritating. And worse, the general public is pathetically star struck and unable to tell the difference between a genuine expert in his/her field (hint, no diet/divorce/bitchfight magazine covers) and a coked up starlet determined to make a “difference” and boost her multimillion dollar pay packet in the process.
    Hollywood sucks.

    Posted by erin_j on 2006 05 16 at 12:06 PM • permalink

  12. That pretty much defines the term “bitch-slapped” when used in terms of how an argument went.  There should have been a referee to step in and stop the carnage and declare Andrew Anthony a winner by TKO.

    Posted by kcom on 2006 05 16 at 12:10 PM • permalink

  13. “Robbins is not a politician and it is therefore a little unfair to parse his words, teasing out the contradictions and inconsistencies.”

    This is my favourite line. Celebrities are mostly stupid, but even they know how much the public looks up to them, unlike politicians.

    Posted by erin_j on 2006 05 16 at 12:23 PM • permalink

  14. Dear God.  Tim Robbins was really really great in “Shawshank Redemption”. I rather like him as an actor.

    Pfeh. He peaked with “Eric the Viking”.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 05 16 at 12:25 PM • permalink

  15. There should have been a referee to step in and stop the carnage and declare Andrew Anthony a winner by TKO.

    I see it differently. I picture something like a WWF wrestling match, where Andrew Anthony picks up the ref, tosses him out of the ring, and then proceeds to administer a dozen or so successive body slams to the prostrate and inert Tim Robbins. Yeah. Far more satisfying.

    Posted by paco on 2006 05 16 at 12:38 PM • permalink

  16. “Hegemonic” means “bad”. As in,

    “Dude man like this weed’s like so totally like hegemonic man like I can’t get high off it dude like you know?”

    Or,

    “Sun-dried tomatoes are so hegemonic, darling! Didn’t we eat those back in, you know, the eighties?

    Or,

    “Waiter, this steak is hegemonic!”

    Or,

    “Clean your room this instant you hegemonic little brat!”

    Posted by P. Froward on 2006 05 16 at 12:39 PM • permalink

  17. “Don’t be so hegemonic, Muriel, the neighbors can hear!”

    Posted by P. Froward on 2006 05 16 at 12:40 PM • permalink

  18. There seems to be a lot of this kind of thing going around.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 05 16 at 12:45 PM • permalink

  19. #18: Priceless. Ab-so-lute-ly priceless.

    Posted by paco on 2006 05 16 at 12:51 PM • permalink

  20. Richard, thanks for reminding me.
    From Benny Hill:

    “...and next we’ll hear a song from Roy Orbison’s musical bum.”

    off-stage: “That’s music ALBUM!”

    Posted by Merlin on 2006 05 16 at 12:54 PM • permalink

  21. It is not the first time that the BBC has been embarrassed by a case of mistaken identity. Last year Rhodri Morgan, the First Minister of Wales, was mistaken for a cast member of Doctor Who when he was due to appear on the BBC Wales political show Dragon’s Eye.

    I sense wronwright’s influence.

    Posted by PW on 2006 05 16 at 01:00 PM • permalink

  22. Andrea, they’re starting again!

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 05 16 at 01:14 PM • permalink

  23. From Benny Hill:

    “...and next we’ll hear a song from Roy Orbison’s musical bum.”

    off-stage: “That’s music ALBUM!”

    Another favorite from Benny Hill:  “What is this thing called, love?”

    Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2006 05 16 at 01:47 PM • permalink

  24. Michael Medved once remarked that in his experience, taken as a whole, Hollywood actresses are the stupidest group of people on the planet. Can Hollywood actors be far behind? Oh, I forgot, Tim Robbins isn’t a Hollywood actor:

    He makes it clear that he doesn’t go in for Hollywood gossip. Indeed, he takes every opportunity to remind me that he doesn’t go in for Hollywood. He and Sarandon and their three children live in the more bohemian environment of downtown New York.

    Yes, all real actor-intellectuals live in NY, London or France—anywhere, really, but in Hollywood. Hollywood is just so déclassé.

    He then explains that while, in the wake of 9/11, he could not bring himself to protest against the war in Afghanistan, he did not agree with the strategy of ‘indiscriminate bombing’. If he had been president, he ‘would have trained special ops to go do the job right’ and not interfered with Afghanistan sovereignty. ‘The democratic movement in any country has got to happen on its own. It’s never going to happen through bombs and airplanes. Never going to happen that way.’ 

    He would have trained, huh. What a monumental twit. Never in the history of American “bombs and airplanes” has the bombing been so discrete as in Afghanistan. Who would have guessed that Tim would be such a supporter of the oppressive Taliban. I am a little surprised, though, that he didn’t support Bill Clinton’s war. Usually leftists love a war in which the US has absolutely no strategic stake (notwithstanding Timmy’s assertion that Kosovo “threatened” national security).

    This confirms my suspicion, drawn from experience, that many actors can faithfully repeat words they read without the slightest comprehension of what they’ve just read.

    Exactly, except I would say “most actors”, or perhaps, “all actors except maybe one or two”. Reminds me of when Ed Asner spouts off in Free Mumia mode. One time a reporter had the audacity to ask if Asner had actually read the testimony about which he was expounding. He said, no he hadn’t, that it wasn’t his job. Righto, Ed, I’ll give you this, you know your job.

    As playwright Lloyd Richards said to actress Margo Channing in the wonderful All About Eve:

    I shall never understand the weird process by which a body with a voice suddenly fancies itself as a mind.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 05 16 at 02:03 PM • permalink

  25. In the one state, Louisiana,that is still heavily influenced by the Napoleanic Code, the assailant is entitled to ... one kick to the, ah, jimmies (les gonades, in the strict legal definition).

    That’s known as a “rochambeau”, also used by Colorado schoolchildren to settle disputes over access or ownership to something, i.e., “Let’s rochambeau for that bag of Cheezy Poofs, Kyle.”

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 05 16 at 02:04 PM • permalink

  26. Tim Robbins politics are horrid, and as a member of the celebrity culture—constantly asked to do interviews—obviously, he can’t resist the temptation to tell people what he thinks, no matter how ill-formed his knowledge and opinions.

    Yet, I must offer a nugget of a story regarding Robbins’ good works. Following the 9/11 terrorist attack on the WTC, he spent weeks volunteering his time and money doing good works for the families of NY firemen killed. And he did it without any desire for publicity. I only know about it because a good friend—a Lt. in the FDNY—drove him about to visit different fire stations, etc., in the course of this.

    Doesn’t change much, as all kinds of people, from all walks of life, volunteered their time following 9/11, but it’s worth knowing he’s not 100% certifiable.

    Posted by Forbes on 2006 05 16 at 02:06 PM • permalink

  27. If he had been president, he ‘would have trained special ops to go do the job right’ and not interfered with Afghanistan sovereignty.

    One of the most persistent myths held to by armchair malingerersgenerals on the left is that “special ops” can do anything - regardless of the field of action, logistics, local support (or the absence thereof), etc. “Just send in the Green Berets”, or “Let the Mossad do it”. I am second to no one in my admiration of those military units that come under the umbrella term of “special forces” - I have a cousin in the Green Berets, in fact - but the whole idea that a major in-country or regional strategy can be carried out “on the cheap” by small military units, however well-trained and well-armed, is an idea that probably should have died out when Carter invaded Iran with a tragically small force that was unable to carry out a dangerous tactical mission (imagine if his orders had not only been to free the hostages, but to dislodge the mullahs from power).

    Posted by paco on 2006 05 16 at 02:47 PM • permalink

  28. Just so, paco.  Special ops troops exist for special operations, with emphasis on the word special.  Unless those armchair twits generals define “special” as meaning “anything that I wouldn’t do”, special ops are a precise weapon. 

    And sometimes you just need one effing big hammer to solve the problem.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 05 16 at 03:04 PM • permalink

  29. Hegemon noun

    A gardener of Jamaican origin, especially proficient in the use of clippers.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2006 05 16 at 03:30 PM • permalink

  30. I sware to the every loving Christ that listening to these guys is like clicking on one of those ‘random progressive chatter generators’ on the web.

    For Example:

    You are a cold-hearted redneck because you think that nuclear weapons in the hands of Iranian government are more of a threat to the world than American imperialism! 

    Generated on   The People’s Cube Random Progressive Truth Generator.

    Posted by trainer on 2006 05 16 at 03:44 PM • permalink

  31. #30: Great link, Trainer! The Truth Generator is lots of fun. You can enter name-specific class enemies and get outstanding results. For example, for Tony Blair: “Blair, you are a church-going little Eichmann for denying the superiority of France!”

    Posted by paco on 2006 05 16 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  32. I agree with paco’s and The Real JeffS’s comments.  I want to add to it by asking a question.  What would happen if a team of Army Rangers was captured by Mullah Omar and paraded down the main street of Kabul?  How does the US extract a small team of soldiers when it has virtually no other forces in the area?

    Answer:  It can’t. 

    I’ll tell you what would happen instead.  The Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandons would come out en masse and accuse their own country of heavy handed imperialist murderous actions against innocent people.  They are gadflies with blinders on, holding neither a responsibility nor a desire for resolving very difficult issues.  Instead, they want only to grandstand and make themselves feel special for basically selfish and conceited reasons.

    Going further, what would be the reaction in the US to captured American soldiers?  Conceivably, isolation, the raising of drawbridges, and the forming of an “everyone for themselves” geopolitical philosophy. 

    How is that a positive thing for the world in today’s turbulent and troublesome times?

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 05 16 at 04:53 PM • permalink

  33. And as long as his platform is not the stage, Robbins should not be ridiculed for expressing his views. Even if you don’t agree with them.

    Sounds like somebody’s trying to crush my dissent.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 05 16 at 06:20 PM • permalink

  34. #33. Nah, Achillea. I read that as saying that we shouldn’t ridicule him for expressing his views - we just ridicule him in general and his views in particular.

    If he wishes to stand up and do us all a favour by exposing himself as a fool, more power to him.


    (I hope all that makes sense - I got a good night’s sleep last night, and I’m still in shock.)

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 05 16 at 07:06 PM • permalink

  35. Was it Tim Robbins who babbled that phrase about a “chill wind” that apparantly descended on AmeriKKKa after 9/11?

    Posted by Ross on 2006 05 16 at 08:12 PM • permalink

  36. Robbins should not be ridiculed for expressing his views. Even if you don’t agree with them.

    I’m ridiculing his views. 
    Him taking it personally is his problem.

    Posted by Huck Foley on 2006 05 16 at 08:28 PM • permalink

  37. New Jersey allows for two shots from a handgun to the knee of the hegemonaphile, but only with a caliber not to exceed .25 (since nobody in New Jersey carries a handgun of such small caliber, the law there is effectively inoperative

    Well, I used to, but then I got a real gun for my tenth birthday.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 16 at 09:00 PM • permalink

  38. Kelsey Grammer seems to be able to deal with the rigours of Hollywood, despite being apparently intelligent and a conservative.

    Only those who aren’t think they are intellectual by living in Greenwich Village, Berkley, the Sorbonne or any of the other rats nests of leftist/arty mental stagnation.

    Sarandon has one, Robbins is one.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 05 16 at 09:19 PM • permalink

  39. How would deploying special ops troops into a sovereign nation not have infringed upon that nation’s sovereignty?

    Just asking, because I’m, like, you know, not paid to say things other people write and have to generate my own thoughts and words.  Don’t mean to be hegemonic or anything.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 05 16 at 10:41 PM • permalink

  40. #39: How would deploying special ops troops into a sovereign nation not have infringed upon that nation’s sovereignty?.

    Funny, I don’t remember Professor Robins explaining that one. Perhaps the going-over he got from Andrew Anthony caused him to lose consciousness before he could offer a clarification. We’ll have to catch his next rant (and frisk him before he gets in front of a mike, in order to confiscate his little book, “Hegemon and its Derivatives, for Everyday Use”. No cheating, Tim!).

    Posted by paco on 2006 05 16 at 11:29 PM • permalink

  41. I used to see Tim Robbins every morning on my way into work on Wall St.  His car would be double parked in front of the deli right next door to the building where he and Susan had a loft.  He would walk up and down the sidewalk talking on the cell phone while Susan sat in the car with the doors open.  After about 10 minutes he would get a coffee, drink it and then get in the car and be driven away. 

    It was a fairly wide street but they would still take up about a lane and a half and ignore the rest of the people around as if nobody else mattered.  I understand that after 9/11 they moved to Pound Ridge.  I did not realize they had returned to re-infect the city.  The two are as dumb as a box of rocks.  How anybody with any sense can take the political positions those two do is beyond me.  They are still claiming that their First Amendment Rights were violated when the Baseball Hall of Fame would not let them speak because they always brought up their politics regardless of the occasion.  Since the Baseball Hall of Fame is not a government organization then the First Amendment does not pertain but that does not stop them complaining about the violation of their rights.  Dixie Chicks all over again.

    Posted by dick on 2006 05 16 at 11:51 PM • permalink

  42. #41 Now I understand! Those googlers in Perth were actually searching for “Dixie Chicks”—not “Chicks with Dicks”.

    Must be the coriolis effect (or is it brownian motion).

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 05 17 at 12:37 AM • permalink

  43. “Don’t mean to be hegemonic or anything.”

    pass me that squirrel rifle

    Posted by JerryS on 2006 05 17 at 02:02 AM • permalink

  44. Wasn’t that a shitty movie with Keanu Reeves- “Johhny Hegemonic”?

    Posted by Habib on 2006 05 17 at 02:26 AM • permalink

  45. an idea that probably should have died out when Carter invaded Iran with a tragically small force that was unable to carry out a dangerous tactical mission (imagine if his orders had not only been to free the hostages, but to dislodge the mullahs from power).

    Also imagine if Carter told them not to shoot anyone while they were doing it.

    Oh wait, he actually did.

    Posted by Sortelli on 2006 05 17 at 03:08 AM • permalink

  46. #30

    I got “geoff ... you are an arrogant corporate criminal because you are a heterosexual male who prefers women with shaved legs and armpits!”

    Spooky…

    Posted by geoff on 2006 05 17 at 04:11 AM • permalink

  47. Sonic the Hedge-monic

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 05 17 at 08:34 AM • permalink

  48. Habib — Kelsey Grammer is a dope-snortin’, Harley-ridin’ fool.  Good on ‘im.

    Paco — Tim Robbins woulda sent Anthony Pellicano, Thug PI to the Stars, to free the hostages.  It’s a nuanced response, see?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 17 at 09:51 AM • permalink

  49. Forbes — NEVER give a celebrity credit for good works except in the face of the most extreme evidence.  “Charities” and “causes” are cynical career decisions for the vast majority of them, as much a part of the “package” as the Patek Phillipe watches and Gucci accessories.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 17 at 09:59 AM • permalink

  50. #48- Just what’s wrong with a motorcycle riding, chemical abusing conservative?

    That’s fucking me!

    Posted by Habib on 2006 05 17 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  51. Habib, one of those doped up rednecks is fucking you?

    Don’t believe I’d of told that ‘un, bro.

    /bad Benny Hill

    Posted by spongeworthy on 2006 05 17 at 11:11 AM • permalink

  52. Hegemonic is the new facist.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 05 17 at 12:06 PM • permalink

  53. 41

    Dixie Chicks all over again.

    Personally I thought the Chicks handled their “suppression” with WAY more class than the Sarandons did.  Evidence?  We’re still hearing from the Sarandons.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 05 17 at 03:39 PM • permalink

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