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RETURN OF THE NIAGARA SWAGGERER

Leading Niagara Falls journalist Mike Hudson - who claimed two years of military service but in fact served for only a few months - delivers his promised antipodean smackdown. Readers have already beat Mike around some in response, but he deserves a few more little jabs:

I described the big turkey our chickenhawk president used in a photo-op that day as “plastic,” and Blair pounced, accusing me of deliberately lying and mischaracterizing what even he called the “display turkey."

Accused him of deliberately lying, did I? Well, maybe not then. But now, yes.

It was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard of. With the blood of 25,000 American dead and wounded soaking the sands of Iraq, here was Crocodile Dundee riding to Bush’s rescue over whether or not a prop turkey appearing in a 2003 propaganda photo was a real prop turkey or a plastic one.

Mike’s indignation over this might be more credible if his column hadn’t opened with more than 100 words about … a plastic turkey.

I’ve always thought of Australia as a country that produces dumb, talentless blondes like Kylie Minogue, Kiki Dee, Olivia Newton-John and Paul Hogan …

Kiki Dee is not Australian, nor is she blonde; I’m not sure any of these four could be classified as “dumb” or even “talentless”, although when you’re looking down on the world from the editorship of the Niagara Falls Reporter, all other achievements must seem stupid and worthless by comparison. This fellow has earned our continued attention.

UPDATE. Mike is in comments and, judging by those comments, into the sauce as well.

UPDATE II. Jack Marx: “It’s always kinda fun watching a turkey being decapitated and chased around the barnyard.”

UPDATE III. Les Enfant Terrible: “Funniest thread of the year.”

UPDATE IV. Stephen Dawson notes that Hogan’s IQ is reportedly 140, while John Hench points out Olivia Newton-John’s genetic brain advantage.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/19/2006 at 02:35 AM
  1. He left further thoughts here.

    Note that he hasn’t denied claims about his actual military service.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 03:03 AM • permalink

  2. With so many dead and wounded in Iraq, it doesn’t really matter whether Kiki Dee is Australian or blonde. (Hmm. This works with anything.)

    Posted by Brian O'Connell on 2006 12 19 at 03:08 AM • permalink

  3. Oh, Mike Hudson’s getting even more insulting/threatening, and I’m getting kinda real scared.  What if he starts using all CAPS, or italics?  We better be careful here.  We may need to arm-up (where the hell is that old F-105 of mine when I need it?)

    Posted by Gerry on 2006 12 19 at 03:17 AM • permalink

  4. hudson digs his hole even deeper, in his continued quest for more attention. 

    I imagine he’s sitting on his ripped leather couch, chugging down his ninth beer, and telling his four cats, “Hey, I really told that Blair off, dinnit I?”

    (for the context, see what geoff linked to here.)

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 12 19 at 03:20 AM • permalink

  5. No blood for cluelessness.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 12 19 at 03:22 AM • permalink

  6. Wonder if the paltry poultry reporter would be game to take a similar swipe at Canada, so nearby?
    ... a country of comparable size, population and economy to Oz.

    Re comment #102 in the previous thread, you’re welcome to the free plug, Mike, make the most of it.

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 19 at 03:23 AM • permalink

  7. For a true blast of irony read the final line of his latest article.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 19 at 03:24 AM • permalink

  8. It’s a shame; he gave the impression of being rather amusing in his original rant against Our Tim, but it seems that was an exception. His new diatribe is a mixture of ham-fisted bravado and furtive avoidance of the issues, apparently delivered by someone who has seen other people be funny and assumed that anyone could do it.

    Fair’s fair: even Tim’s detractors admit that he’s a witty commentator, if they’re being honest. To claim that this blog is “humorless” is disingenuous at best.

    Posted by blandwagon on 2006 12 19 at 03:31 AM • permalink

  9. What an absolute dickhead.  Aussies are the first to back up our allies when the ship hits the sand, have a look at the sacrifices our diggers have made so fucktards like this can print crap like that without being lined up against the wall and shot.  Aussie war casualties

    Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 19 at 03:33 AM • permalink

  10. JOHN STEDMAN: COWARD FOR THE CROWN, GALLANT FRONTIERSMAN FOR BAD HISTORIANS

    liar mikes other story in the nagger

    more projection

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 19 at 03:33 AM • permalink

  11. Here’s his piccie with Dr. Lao.

    Posted by Donnah on 2006 12 19 at 03:34 AM • permalink

  12. Oh, look.  What we basically have is the editor of a provincial give throw-away paper, having been caught in a several lies, lashing out.

    He lies about his “military service” and he claims status as a “vet” on the basis of a nation-wide mail-out after a lost computer.  Lie, dissemble, fog the issue.

    Then he cries crocodile tears over the deaths of Americans in Iraq.  Fails to conceal his glee at the deaths of his fellow citizens (as their deaths he thinks will achieve his political wishes).

    He lies about the finding of WMDs in Iraq and then dissembles about the nature of WMDs.

    He shits all over his own county and then mine.  But, as I noted previously, he’s not without fellow-travellers here in Australia.  Like Iron Mike,

    * They loath their country and sympathise to varying degrees with their country’s enemies. 

    * Very happy to shit all over their country in any forum that’s offered.

    * Pathalogical hatred of their country’s elected leaders (elected 4 times straight in our case; twice in your case).

    * Contempt for their countries greatest allies (UK and arguably Australia in your case; UK and USA in our case), that have stood by your/my country through thick and thin.

    * Casual disregard for any fact or logic if it suits the argument against their country.

    We recognise Iron Mike’s type very easily here in Oz where politically, they are nearly universally the Greens (far left socialist / marxist) or the Labor Party (leftist/socialist).

    In Iron Mike’s pathalogical hatred and opposition to George Bush, he can rest easy tonight in that he has many fellow travellers in Australia, but also many more supporters in Korth Korea, Iran, Syria, various ‘Stans and so on.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 03:34 AM • permalink

  13. Who the heck is Kiki Dee?

    (checks wikipedia)

    Ah...some English broad.

    Mike, Mike, Mike, please pay attention Australia is the big continent down in the SOUTHERN hemisphere, not the little island in the northern one.

    Posted by Quentin George on 2006 12 19 at 03:34 AM • permalink

  14. I like how he refers to us as the Fighting Keyboards. Since he was so annoyed by the Army man yelling at him, can we call him Shouty McCoward?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 03:35 AM • permalink

  15. I love the bit about how we slinked off after facing an Islamic army.  How very undergrad.

    Ok.  Yep.  We lost 8,000 men - at Gallipoli.

    The Turks lost over 100,000.

    Net effect: by relieving pressure on the Russian Southern Front, the action kept Russia in the war for probably another year.

    Our cavalry regiments then redeployed to Syria and Palestine where they gave the Turks a massive hiding.  The Australian cavalry became the first non-Islamic armies to take Damascus, Beersheba, Jenin etc in almost 700 years.

    So, Mikey, do you get the idea of strategic wars as opposed to tactical battles?

    Maybe you would have known that if you hadn’t burst into tears at boot camp.

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 03:47 AM • permalink

  16. Despite blowhard editor Mike Hudson, I like the paper. It’s got a weird combination of tabloid headlines (’Bloggers blasting brave Bush bashers’), hints at conspiracy theories (’The Truth Told At Last’), and a quaint small-town pride (’The Falls ONLY independently owned newspaper’). The fact that it has a crusader-as-editor is just the icing on the cake, really.

    Posted by TimT on 2006 12 19 at 03:50 AM • permalink

  17. #15
    Real world military speak probably satiates this guy’s perverse appetite (still has nightmares about bootcramp?)

    Got the bathrobe on yet, Mike?

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 19 at 03:54 AM • permalink

  18. see #11: not only grog but a cigarette in hand: My Goodness a cigarette!!! He has lost his politically correct readership forthwith.:

    Obviously a pickled brain: the contents of the latest article confirms it.

    Posted by LaVallette on 2006 12 19 at 03:57 AM • permalink

  19. Look, it would shit me to tears too, if for years I was churning out weekly dross to my readers never having to worry about fact checking and then all of a sudden some wallaby rooting, keyboard gunner up and blew my lurk.

    Take solace, Mike and enjoy what is surely the zenith of your life.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 19 at 04:01 AM • permalink

  20. Oh my. That’s some breathtaking ignorance our Mike’s labouring under. Kee-ryst! Made my arvo.

    I especially enjoy it when an American pays out on our beer. Too much flavour, I guess - Bud/Millers/Coors etc manage to make even the abysmal Fosters seem tasty in comparison.

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 12 19 at 04:04 AM • permalink

  21. Kylie, Paul and Olivia dumb?

    They’re laughing all the way to the bank.

    What’s the volunteer journalist worth?

    Posted by kae on 2006 12 19 at 04:08 AM • permalink

  22. Email just sent to News and Tips at Niagara Gazette.:

    Not For Publication
    Off Record
    News Tip

    I understand that Mike Hudson, editor of Niagara Reporter, is a person who has earned himself some notoriety in Niagara Falls, NY. You may be aware that he has published a poison pen letter to Australia (of all places) in a self confessed attempt to drum up some publicity. Many here are wondering how this petty and puerile behaviour can be reconciled with the unctuous posturing of a newspaper as a supporter of a community where many depend directly and indirectly on tourism for their livelihoods.

    I doubt that you’d be surprised to hear that Hudson’s account of this affair is false and dishonest as any of his readers could have discovered for themselves had he published a hyperlink. Tim Blair, a prominent Australian journalist. His blog is here.  /ee/index.php

    Many of Tim’s commenters are Americans and include many past, and presently serving members of the US Armed Forces. At least one commenter recently suffered a bereavement after a close relative lost his life in Iraq while serving his country.

    The relevant exchanges with Hudson are here /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/iron_mike/#195361

    and

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/greensters_shut_out/

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/ironed_mike/

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/certitude_impossible/

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/iron_mike/

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/rapt_in_plastic/#193956

    But there is something that has taken many of us by surprise. This is that, in circumstances where he thought he could get away with it, Mike Hudson did not hesitate to portray himself as a returned war veteran. He apparently is relying on a “membership” of Veterans of Foreign Wars, and a short stint as a trainee, but did not disclose that the “membership” is at most “social” and “casual”

    Here are his words:

    As a veteran, (U.S. Army 1974-76 and currently a member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars) there’s nothing I hate worse than seeing the Armed Forces of this country used so badly by the chicken hawks currently in charge of foreign policy here.

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/iron_mike/#195361

    This sort of thing is regarded as truly disgraceful behaviour in this country. People falsely or deceptively claiming war service face public humiliation. I would be surprised if it was different in the US.
    Posted by geoff on 2006 12 19 at 04:09 AM • permalink

  23. Where does this dickhead get off?

    It’s time for an education for this dickhead:

    1. We do have a President. He/she is the leader of our Senate. Presently it is Hon. Paul Calvert.

    2. Mel Gibson was born in Peekskill, New York, USA so the US really produced him not us.

    3. We do have the right to bear arms in Australia within limitations just as you do. That right is granted by state statute here not our Constitution.

    I wont start on Gallipoli thats more complex and clearly beyond you mate.

    As a journalist of the left you meet the criteria: ignorant, arrogant and glass jaw.

    Posted by lingus4 on 2006 12 19 at 04:09 AM • permalink

  24. Continental...Since you missed it the first time, I’ll repeat it again slowly.

    OUR....ADVERTISERS....READ....THE...PAPER...IN FACT...MOST...OF...THEM...HELP...DISTRIBUTE...IT.

    While our Web site pays for itself, we make our money on the print edition. Send along $5 American or $1 million in sea shells or whatever they use for money down there and I’ll send along a copy so’s you all can waste your time making long distance phone calls to other people who will laugh at you.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 04:10 AM • permalink

  25. Fair dinkum.  That is beyond hilarious

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 04:12 AM • permalink

  26. Look out!

    Mike’s using CAPITALISATION!

    And that’s just a start.

    We’ll be in serious shit when he breaks out the bold.

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 04:16 AM • permalink

  27. (apologies for posting in 2 threads, but Liar Mike doesn’t seem to know which thread is up)

    Huddo, let me repeat slowly:

    YOU ... ARE .. A ... SERIAL ... LIAR ... AND ... WE ...WILL ... MAKE ... IT ... OUR ... MISSION ... TO ... MAKE ... SURE .... YOUR ... TOWNSFOLK ....  AND ... ADVERTISERS ... KNOW ...THIS.

    Whether or not they care of course is another matter and a matter of reflection of themselves.

    And BTW, how DO you account for your statements on your “service” record, and its actual “brevity”.  ROFL!

    Oh, and who’s Kiki Dee?  ROFL!  Boy are you d-u-m-b.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 04:19 AM • permalink

  28. Just being sensitive to Continential’s dyslexia, Murph. You know, bleeding heart liberal that I am.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 04:20 AM • permalink

  29. #28 - So did you serve 74-76, Mikey?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 04:23 AM • permalink

  30. Serve breakfast, you mean? Yup. Served breakfast, lunch and dinner. (I’m lying)

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 04:26 AM • permalink

  31. Huddo, still “skirting” the issue:

    How DO you account for your statements on your “service” record, and its actual “brevity”.  ROFL!

    Oh, and who’s Kiki Dee?  ROFL!

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 04:28 AM • permalink

  32. Housekeeping! Cleanup near table 7!

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 12 19 at 04:30 AM • permalink

  33. What’s Huddo’s New Year’s wish?

    10,000 more US dead in Iraq, so Bush will look bad, hopefully leading to a Democrat President in 2008.

    Huddo, you patriot!

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 04:30 AM • permalink

  34. One of the three operations during Ironed Mike’s 1975 “military” service that would qualify him for the Veterans of Foreign Wars was called Operation Frequent Wind. At least it sounds like Mike was there.

    Maybe Mike could enlighten us next week. But I hasten to point out to Mike that peeling Mexican potatoes while on KP duty does not constitute service in a foreign war.

    Posted by Contrail on 2006 12 19 at 04:33 AM • permalink

  35. Kiki Dee is a blonde so telently I simply assumed she was Australian. Caught in yet another heinous lie. Damn.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 04:34 AM • permalink

  36. Kiki Dee is a blonde so telently I simply assumed she was Australian. Caught in yet another heinous lie. Damn.

    Huddo, the more you squirm and avoid the real question, the more you draw attention to your lies.

    How DO you account for your statements on your “service” record, and its actual “brevity”.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 04:37 AM • permalink

  37. (I’m lying.)

    He does that a lot. Like saying he’s a member of the VFW when he’s not.

    A member of an auxiliary presenting himself in public as a warrior.

    Posted by Donnah on 2006 12 19 at 04:38 AM • permalink

  38. So why did you say you served 1974-76? I mean, you couldn’t possibly have wanted to impress a couple of mere Australians, could you?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 04:39 AM • permalink

  39. "Telently”? Steady on, Mike. You’re becoming incoherent.

    Actually, Mike, we’ll give you a pass on the ‘heinous lie’ front for your Kiki Dee oops. We’re reasonable people. Consider it charitably chalked up to your awe-inspiring doltishness.

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 12 19 at 04:41 AM • permalink

  40. Dummah...It states two times in the column you linked to that I was made a member of the VFW. The members there go through 250 copies of the Reporter a week. Now, if I hadn’t been made a member, don’t you think there’d have been hell to pay in this small town? Yet you state with all authority that I am not a member. If I sent you my card would you believe I was a member then? More importantly, do you think I give a rat’s ass whether you think I’m a member or not?

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 04:46 AM • permalink

  41. Huddo, the more you squirm and avoid the real question, the more you draw attention to your lies.

    How DO you account for your statements on your “service” record, and its actual “brevity”.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 04:47 AM • permalink

  42. do you think I give a rat’s ass whether you think I’m a member or not?

    Then why do you tell everyone you are?

    Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 19 at 04:48 AM • permalink

  43. Maybe your buddies at your local VFW should be made aware of the fact that you try to front yourself as a war vet, you fucking poser.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 04:49 AM • permalink

  44. mike, the kiki dee thing just shows that you are sloppy, lazy moron as well as a liar

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 19 at 04:50 AM • permalink

  45. Caught in yet another heinous lie. 

    (I’m lying.)

    So, Huddo, we know you can say it.  Is it that difficult now to admit that you lied about your military service?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 04:50 AM • permalink

  46. More importantly, do you think I give a rat’s ass whether you think I’m a member or not?

    I’d assume you wouldn’t. But you’re still here. So I guess you do.

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 12 19 at 04:50 AM • permalink

  47. This guy’s cool. However, he’s getting wound up. Maybe we should do the humanitarian thing and give him ten minutes so he can clean up his coffee, wipe the spittle off the screen and send the kids down to the 24 hour veterinary clinic to ask if they can stitch up the cat.

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 12 19 at 04:53 AM • permalink

  48. And to everybody...Nowhere in any of the 3 million or so words I’ve published over the past three decades have I ever claimed to be a “combat veteran,” a “warrior” or anything else of the sort. telently, james, is jive talk, street lingo, if you will, for the Australian right-winger’s ideal woman—looks like a sheep and big as a whale.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 04:53 AM • permalink

  49. No, it says you were made a “social” member, since it’s not possible for you to be a member, due to the fact that you’re not a veteran of a foreign war.
    You’ve presented publicly as something you’re not. In other words: you’re a liar.

    Posted by Donnah on 2006 12 19 at 04:54 AM • permalink

  50. Dear Mike, a close friend of mine is a currently serving member of the USMC and an active member of the VFW.

    Somehow, I don’t think he’d agree that getting sent a card in the mail constitutes being one.

    I’ll be asking for his opinion on this next time I’m speaking with him

    And since everyone is no doubt dying of curiosity, here’s Mike’s geocities page, too. Let’s see if we can bump up the number of visits, and feel free to check out the gallery.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 19 at 04:55 AM • permalink

  51. As a veteran, (U.S. Army 1974-76 and currently a member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars) there’s nothing I hate worse than seeing the Armed Forces of this country used so badly by the chicken hawks currently in charge of foreign policy here.

    You imply heavily and directly that you are talking from the perspective of a vietnam vet you posing, worthless, lieing sack of shit.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 04:57 AM • permalink

  52. Which reminds me, I checked out Mike’s myspace page. How do we know it’s actually Mike’s?

    That diction reminds me of the scintillating Margo’s Maid.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 19 at 04:58 AM • permalink

  53. Well, there’s no arguing with you, Grimmy. You’re fucking nuts.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 04:59 AM • permalink

  54. Pity the art of walking across Niagara Falls on a tightrope with a 80lb. sack of sand tied around your neck while wearing dancing pumps kinda died out.

    Maybe we could get Scoop Hudson to revive it?

    Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 19 at 04:59 AM • permalink

  55. I’ve been taking a look back through some of the Reporter’s archives. It’s a paper that Mikey boy and a guy called Bruce Battaglia started in 2000, and Mikey’s first column was headlined “Boring Journalism: A Thing of the Past”.

    It’s interesting to note that virtually every article in your paper seems, well, exceedingly boring.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 04:59 AM • permalink

  56. #25, Hmm… personally I quite liked the pagan’s music, but they really are another of those bands that desperately needed a singer who could actually sing, or at least scream with a bit of rhythm… anti-nowhere league they ain’t.

    Failed frontman to failed journalist - no wonder mikey’s pissed with the world…

    Posted by pache on 2006 12 19 at 05:01 AM • permalink

  57. #52 Blushes nilk!

    Say Mikey, don’t go breakin’ my heart. Just set ‘em straight about them long war years (74-76)

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 19 at 05:01 AM • permalink

  58. You’re a real fuckin’ crack up Scoop.

    the Australian right-winger’s ideal woman—looks like a sheep and big as a whale.

    Obviously confusing us Aussies with Kiwis....

    Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 19 at 05:02 AM • permalink

  59. Im fucking nuts am I?

    You lie out your ass, talk out the side of your neck, make up shit, say you didnt say it, pretend it never happened, and I’m the crazy for calling you on it?

    LOL yeah, you’re a real winner.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 05:02 AM • permalink

  60. In case I was unclear, by real winner, I actually mean an weak suck piece of shit.

    You’ve been talking around the cock in your mouth for so long you’ve got buck teeth, boy.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 05:04 AM • permalink

  61. #56 pache, you mean I’m not the only ANL fan out there? YAY!

    How about Killing Joke then?

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 19 at 05:04 AM • permalink

  62. #57 Nice Kiki Dee ref MM :)

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 19 at 05:05 AM • permalink

  63. Just sent this to Niagara US Chamber of Commerce

    <tkraus@niagarachamber.org>

    Dear Mr Kraus,

    I tried sending this to the Niagara Gazette but for some reason it kept bouncing. Please feel free to pass it on to them or anyone else you think may be interested, but I would appreciate it if my email address was not disclosed. Or my surname.

    Regards
    geoff




    Not For Publication
    Off Record
    News Tip

    I understand that Mike Hudson, editor of Niagara Reporter, is a person who has earned himself some notoriety in Niagara Falls, NY. You may be aware that he has published a poison pen letter to Australia (of all places) in a self confessed attempt to drum up some publicity. Many here are wondering how this petty and puerile behaviour can be reconciled with the unctuous posturing of a newspaper as a supporter of a community where many depend directly and indirectly on tourism for their livelihoods.

    I doubt that you’d be surprised to hear that Hudson’s account of this affair is false and dishonest as any of his readers could have discovered for themselves had he published a hyperlink. Tim Blair, a prominent Australian journalist. His blog is here.  /ee/index.php

    Many of Tim’s commenters are Americans and include many past, and presently serving members of the US Armed Forces. At least one commenter recently suffered a bereavement after a close relative lost his life in Iraq while serving his country.

    The relevant exchanges with Hudson are here /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/iron_mike/#195361

    and

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/greensters_shut_out/

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/ironed_mike/

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/certitude_impossible/

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/iron_mike/

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/rapt_in_plastic/#193956

    But there is something that has taken many of us by surprise. This is that, in circumstances where he thought he could get away with it, Mike Hudson did not hesitate to portray himself as a returned war veteran. He apparently is relying on a “membership” of Veteran of Foreign Wars, and a short stint as a trainee, but did not disclose that the “membership” is at most “social” and “casual”

    Here are his words:

    As a veteran, (U.S. Army 1974-76 and currently a member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars) there’s nothing I hate worse than seeing the Armed Forces of this country used so badly by the chicken hawks currently in charge of foreign policy here.

    /ee/index.php/weblog/comments/iron_mike/#195361

    This sort of thing is regarded as truly disgraceful behaviour in this country. People falsely or deceptively claiming war service face public humiliation. I would be surprised if it was different in the US.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 12 19 at 05:07 AM • permalink

  64. Failed soldier, failed musician, failed writer. Yes, the past 51 years have been hard ones indeed. Rattling the monkey cage and watching them all hop around is really all that’s left to me now.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:09 AM • permalink

  65. Ha ha! This is great. Remind me to not get on the wrong side of you guys!

    What a plonker.

    Posted by Kobaal on 2006 12 19 at 05:10 AM • permalink

  66. #61 nilknarf - heh, there with bells on. did you catch the ANL gig?

    Posted by pache on 2006 12 19 at 05:10 AM • permalink

  67. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 19 at 05:13 AM • permalink

  68. #64
    Who said it was OK to open your bathrobe?

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 19 at 05:13 AM • permalink

  69. Mike apparently once worked for a real paper, the Gazette. He now works for a weekly free-distribution community paper—I can just picture him on his scooter distributing them himself. Nobody actually reads those rags, they just scan the adverts and classifieds and turf ‘em. You guys are being pretty hard on someone who’s obviously, well, pathetic.

    Posted by J F Beck on 2006 12 19 at 05:13 AM • permalink

  70. #60 Grimmy’s projecting agan.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:13 AM • permalink

  71. 51 years? You wouldn’t know.

    Grow up, Mikey.

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 12 19 at 05:14 AM • permalink

  72. Is Tim winding Huddo up, or is Huddo winding us up. It’s all a bit sticks and stones etc.
    Mike about the Japs cutting Aussie heads off, in the New Guinea campaigns those with the real problem were the Jap “prisoners” who were not taken prisoner.

    Posted by Paulm on 2006 12 19 at 05:15 AM • permalink

  73. Mikey, you sure is one sad individual, goddamittohell.

    Get you some professional help man, quick smart now.

    Posted by lex luthor on 2006 12 19 at 05:16 AM • permalink

  74. I do apologize for that beheading crack. Out of bounds. Seriously.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:16 AM • permalink

  75. Hey Mikey, As a tour guide here in outback Australia i am amazed at how every passenger i had said that their trip to Australia was life dream,brings a tear to my eye,Funny how one Aussie upsets you and you rubbish the whole country..Come on down old son i’ll take you outback for a look around..Be warned old son i run my tours along military lines so i won’t be hauling your arse in 47 degree heat.

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 05:17 AM • permalink

  76. He now works for a weekly free-distribution community paper—I can just picture him on his scooter distributing them himself.

    We really should just end the thread on that thought. Nothing more needs to be said.

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 12 19 at 05:17 AM • permalink

  77. Hudson, cut the self-pitying crap. You started a tabloid, that’s a reasonable sort of an achievement.

    Face it, Tim - who is an editor for one of Australia’s biggest-selling papers - picked you up when you made a mistake. Just say “I was wrong”. You might consider admitting that you didn’t check the facts (possibly because you dislike Bush).

    Is it really a big ask for a journo to admit when he makes a mistake?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 05:18 AM • permalink

  78. HEY!!

    When the minionettes reported that a bunch of mad drummers were riffing in the cluebat room, I thought they’d been at the Sumerian mead.
    Again.

    But no, it’s you buggers with a rather stupid and smelly little troll and two cluebats each! ‘Cept Nilk. How did you get FOUR??

    Are you bastards going for the world record cluebatting or something? There’s splattered bits of this damned troll all over the walls and ceiling and you are still pounding the sad, squalid little plonker.

    It is gonna take days for the Minions to scrub away this mess, and then by the look of it we’ll have to paint the walls and ceiling too.

    Well… at least you are using the cluebat room the way it was designed, I guess. And the Dark Lord is chortling over the video feed. Meh! So what’s a little paint? And the minions were not doing anything else on 25 December anyway.....

    MarkL
    Minionmeister to the VRWC

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 05:18 AM • permalink

  79. Thanks Ian, but I was joking.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:19 AM • permalink

  80. I just can’t understand why you don’t accept you made a mistake?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 05:21 AM • permalink

  81. Don’t worry about the mess, MarkL - I believe Margo’s Maid is looking for a new boss.

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 12 19 at 05:21 AM • permalink

  82. MarkL:

    Actually, it was our hope that if we could get the splatter just right, we could skip the clean up and repaint and call it art.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 05:22 AM • permalink

  83. And I just can’t understand why you all can’t accept you’ve made a mistake concerning the war in Iraq.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:24 AM • permalink

  84. check out the link murph posted at 25 (he’s right its hilarious) See who liar mike claims as friends- when did you last hang out with mick n keef lieboy?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 19 at 05:25 AM • permalink

  85. Because we didnt you worthless piece of enemy supporting shit.

    You mindlessly regurgitate the propaganda of those who support our enemy, you are the enemy.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 05:25 AM • permalink

  86. Now come on, don’t be changing the subject: Iraq is clearly a matter of opinion, the turkey thing is a matter of fact.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 05:26 AM • permalink

  87. Huddo, the more you squirm and avoid the real question, the more you draw attention to your lies.

    How DO you account for your statements on your “service” record, and its actual “brevity”?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 05:27 AM • permalink

  88. #52 Nilk: I just emailed a bunch of mates from the USA that I served with, along with a copy of the ‘article’. Since most of them are VFW members I’m sure they will be interested in this lying pr*ck’s views.
    Lil’ Mikey: As a Regular Army Sergeant with 16 years of service, who is about to deploy overseas again in a few days - get f*cked. You got caught out in one of your numerous lies, got a little affronted about it, and now you have no credibility. Judging by the reactions of others who post on this blog who are from the USA, that’s a perception not limited to my ‘third rate’ country. Niagara Falls huh? Go for a barrel ride Knucklef*cker.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 05:29 AM • permalink

  89. There’s no arguing with you, Grimmy. You’re fucking nuts. And a latent homosexual as well, a trait shared by many right wingers.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:29 AM • permalink

  90. Ever been to Australia Mikey?

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 05:31 AM • permalink

  91. #88 - Good luck with your deployment. Where are you being sent to?

    Mike, don’t you owe it to your readers to correct things in your next column, to set the record straight?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 05:32 AM • permalink

  92. There’s no arguing with you, Grimmy. You’re fucking nuts. And a latent homosexual as well, a trait shared by many right wingers.

    Ever the cool professional journalist is out Huddo. 

    How many American dead in Iraq did you ask Santa to bring you Huddo?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 05:34 AM • permalink

  93. Mike Hudson cannot be for real, can he???.Maybe he writes for the Onion.

    Posted by Torontosteve on 2006 12 19 at 05:34 AM • permalink

  94. #66. No such luck, pache. I didn’t know they were here.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 19 at 05:35 AM • permalink

  95. Obviously advertisers in the Niagra Falls Bugle are gay-haters.  ‘least Huddo hopes so, now.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 05:37 AM • permalink

  96. Waiting for an answer Mikey.

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 05:38 AM • permalink

  97. So.  After five rounds, let’s take a look at the scoresheet:

    Material content of thanksgiving turkey?

    Mike: Plastic
    Australia: Meat. You idiot.

    Answer: Meat.

    Mike 0, Australia 1

    Do Australians have the right to bear arms?

    Mike: Australians cannot own rifles
    Australia (switching off safety): Do you feel lucky?

    Mike 0, Australia 2

    Does Australia have a President?

    Mike: The fact that I have no idea doesn’t top me from commenting, so: No.
    Paul Calvert: What am I?  A pork chop?

    Mike 0, Australia 3

    Kiki Dee is Australian. True or false?

    Mike: Well, she sounds funny ‘n’ all, so: Yes.
    Australia: Did you know that Mike left the army because he got yelled at? What was the question again?  No wait.  I’ll just go with my gut instinct on this and say the opposite of whatever wittle Mikey says.

    Answer: British

    Mike 0, Australia 4

    What’s Australia’s form fighting Islamic armies?

    Mike: They’re shit.  I know because I watched a Mel Gibson movie.
    Maj Gen Harry Chauvel: How was Kentucky, Mike?

    Answer: Beersheba? Jerusalem? Damascus?

    Mike 0, Australia 5

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 05:38 AM • permalink

  98. I have not seen anything this funny since Mark Latham caught his man-boobs in the mangle!

    I particularly like the elegant but powerful swing of Grimmy’s cluebat and the way it makes the troll’s brains spray gracefull out of his arse.

    I TOLD you that was a powerful cluebatting style!

    MarkL
    Minionmeister to the VRWC

    The last Mike Hudson I knew was a bald Admiral in the RAN. His lowerdeck nickname was ‘mudguard’. For shiny on top, shit underneath.

    This lying sack of shite is very, very well named. Yeah, Mike, 185600 has got your number. He’s well in to his second decade of military service, I’m into my third. And y’know, people who could not handle the job but who later pretend they could just piss us right off.

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 05:40 AM • permalink

  99. C’mon girls, let’s get to #100 so’s I can go to bed. The fact a bunch of cretinous right wingers 3,000 miles away are still so worked up about a throwaway line in a column I wrote four weeks ago speaks volumns.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:41 AM • permalink

  100. hey,
    leave me alone you limeys with your bad teeth and stuff

    Posted by Squiffy on 2006 12 19 at 05:42 AM • permalink

  101. #88
    Don’t feed his fetish ... bet he’ll be busy ‘in private’ for a while now.

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 19 at 05:42 AM • permalink

  102. Yeah right, mikey.

    Leftards are so freekin predictable.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 05:44 AM • permalink

  103. Hey news flash boy. I aint all that far away from you.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 05:45 AM • permalink

  104. Mikey..HAVE..YOU..BEEN..TO..AUSTRALIA..?

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 05:45 AM • permalink

  105. Thanks girls, good night.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:45 AM • permalink

  106. Its been posted before. but PLEASE check this out for Mike Hudson

    PAGANS!

    Scroll down to 31 March 2006 to see Huddo in all his bloodshot glory. 

    Jeez, Mike what’s with the AA impersonation!

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 05:46 AM • permalink

  107. Mikey needs his rest; tomorrow’s paper distribution day.

    Posted by J F Beck on 2006 12 19 at 05:46 AM • permalink

  108. Murph #97

    You forgot the Battle of Armageddon.

    The Australian Army (and Indian and british Armies) have an unusual battle honour, there.

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 05:47 AM • permalink

  109. The fact a bunch of cretinous right wingers 3,000 miles away are still so worked up about a throwaway line in a column I wrote four weeks ago speaks volumns.

    Right-wingers obsessed with fact and accuracy. Speaking volumes. Left-winger dismissive. Speaking volumes.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 05:47 AM • permalink

  110. I’s warnin’ ya. I’m a vet. V.E.T. (not the animal doctor thingy)
    I was in Nam’. Num Dong Dang to be exact.
    I was there with Kerry and his magic hat.

    Posted by Squiffy on 2006 12 19 at 05:47 AM • permalink

  111. #105
    What’d I tell ya 185 ...?

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 19 at 05:47 AM • permalink

  112. OK, two more. Why on earth would I go to Australia, Sparrow? And Grimmy, you masher, don’t be such a tease.

    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:48 AM • permalink

  113. #104 - He insulted us here, I think it’s pretty clear he hasn’t been to our sea-girt realm.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 05:50 AM • permalink

  114. MarkL:  We have applied for an Arts Council Grant for the cluebat art.

    We figure if we wrap it up in brown paper and submerg it in urine; its bound to get a grant of about $1 mill, and then we’ll tour it to all the RSL clubs.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 05:50 AM • permalink

  115. #78 I brought a couple of my old ones from home, O Minionmeister. I wanted to compare the new models in the cluebat room. Hope you don’t mind.

    They’re actually not too bad (the new ones, that is - I still love my old bats).

    #88 Hahah. I’ve emailed my friend, too. He won’t be happy with Mike, but we knew that already.

    Also seconding Ian at #91.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 19 at 05:50 AM • permalink

  116. Come on Mikey, you bag my county and you won’t answer me..

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 05:51 AM • permalink

  117. #97 nice one murph

    Posted by Just Another Bloody Lawyer on 2006 12 19 at 05:51 AM • permalink

  118. #91 Ian: I don’t think that we are allowed to say, unfortunately, but I deployed there a couple of years ago (winter again, f*ck it). Us Queenslanders aren’t born for snow, I’m telling you. At least the deployment date is now after Christmas, so I can get back home for that, now just to make it perfect we need to wrap up the 4th test in three days, then I can smile and know all is well with the world before I get on the plane:)
    #89 Mikey: He asks you a question, and you reply with a slur. Nice one, you of all people (ie: from the left, anti war and all) should be more inclusive and tolerant of anyone of that persuasion I would of thought? So, which foreign wars did you deploy to again? Oh, and the war of being yelled at in Kentucky doesn’t count. Knucklef*cker.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 05:51 AM • permalink

  119. Hmmph <stifles sniggering>

    geography lesson #1

    What is the distance from Niagara to AUSTRALIA?

    Is it:
    A. 3000 miles?
    B. Dude, where’s my bong at?
    C. Kiki Dee
    D. The other side of the planet?

    Mike 0
    Australia 6

    You just can’t make this stuff up. And he pretends to be a journalist? ROTFLMAO

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 05:52 AM • permalink

  120. Huddo!  Still with us (MWAH!  MWAH!).

    Love the PAGAN page and your pic.  Was that on a good day?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 05:52 AM • permalink

  121. Did I mention that I was in the Army?
    (Kentucky bootcamp short-course shoutey/hot thingy 1975)

    Posted by Squiffy on 2006 12 19 at 05:52 AM • permalink

  122. #112 A lot of people like to use ‘paradise’ to describe where they live. Well, pretty much every Australian uses it, and it’s no exaggeration.

    That’s why you’d visit.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 05:53 AM • permalink

  123. Mike can’t even get the distance right: he’s more than 11,000 miles from Perth and over 9,600 miles from Sydney. Research is not his thing.

    Posted by J F Beck on 2006 12 19 at 05:53 AM • permalink

  124. #112
    Ever left your continent, Mike?
    Our outback would be overtraining for your first hand reporting from the front in Iraq.

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 19 at 05:54 AM • permalink

  125. Calf to mother cow: What’s that you’re chewing?

    Cow to calf: It’s Mike Hudson.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2006 12 19 at 05:54 AM • permalink

  126. Look y’all, we’re stuck with him. I’d love to see this degenerate sack of cultural rot wander off to be someone elses problem, but y’all are friends so I’ll ask ya this.

    What if he does visit, then decides he likes it there and stays?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 05:55 AM • permalink

  127. #118 All the best to you.

    I’m graduating university at the end of 2007 and am seriously considering Direct Officer Entry into the Army, with either Infantry or Intelligence.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 05:56 AM • permalink

  128. Thats it, thats your answer you sad little man,you fucking coward..makes me wonder how you make it out your front door.

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 05:56 AM • permalink

  129. Y’all a bunch of chickenhawks.
    I was an Army Ranger in the 70’s (after the band busted up). Clinton sent me to Bosnia to sort things out. And I did.
    Mission accomplished.

    Posted by Squiffy on 2006 12 19 at 05:59 AM • permalink

  130. Amen on the all best to you 185. You’ll know this better’n me, but it still bears sayin. Keep your head on a swivel and dont let the idjits get you down.

    Ian Deans: All good things to you too sir. You show you’ve got iron in ya. Which ever way you go, soldier or civvie, I do hope it works to your best.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 05:59 AM • permalink

  131. #98 Mark L: Oh, I think others had his number long before I came along! By the by, I forgot to ask, as a crab, which class? I have obviously served beside a few of you guys:)
    Oh, and Mikey, go to bed now and dream of plastic turkeys, sheep, men, whatever. You son are a boil on the arse of humanity, and to use the crassest expression I ever heard on selection: you are about as useful as a c*unt full of cold water. Knucklef*cker.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 06:01 AM • permalink

  132. #130 - Thanks. At the moment, my family is trying to push me towards a job which keeps me close to home, but the Army feels like the right thing to do.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 06:04 AM • permalink

  133. #114 SCD - not a bad idea. Hudson will undoubtedly swoon over it.

    Oh. Too late. We’ve gotta peel him off the floor first. Ermm. Howard the Enceladan says we should just leave him and let him dry him out. Reckons he’d make a nice non-slip mat.

    #115. Hmm. lemme check that one you brought in and see how it compares to the seasoned river redgum ones we use…

    HOLY DOOLEY!
    You machined this from a solid billet of titanium!
    <reaches for notebook: writes ’NEVER piss off Nilk. Ever.’ Puts notebook away, glances at grinning, gore-bedecked, fully paid up VRWC member in good standing.>

    Bloody nice piece of kit, that! I especially like the sharkskin wrapped handle for good grip when the mangled troll flesh REALLY starts to fly. And the.. really BIG… dripping..spikes....

    <edges away slowly. Notices Howard the Enceladan is also looking green around the gills. Literally. And his fangs have fangs.>

    MarkL
    Minionmeister to the VRWC

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 06:04 AM • permalink

  134. BTW. Be Warned.
    You wingnuts better not mess with me.
    I’ll spill wine or beer over you and try to singe you with my cigarette.

    Posted by Squiffy on 2006 12 19 at 06:07 AM • permalink

  135. (pant, pant, pant.  Lights cigarette. )

    Man, I haven’t had a root as good as that since....

    (looks around, startled to see that the entire blog has also lit up and is grinning in satisfaction...)

    Shit!  I mean, well, there was Huddo getting right royally fucked over, and, well, I couldn’t help myself!  he kept squealing “Kikki Dee” and it drove me crazy!

    And then he mentioned that he was in the catering corps for a couple of months during the War of being Yelled at in Kentucky and I just lost control!

    (sob) Sorry.  Say, Isn’t that Bubba Clinton also lighting up?  He was there too?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 06:09 AM • permalink

  136. Actually, this might be the best place possible for me to ask this: what do you guys think about a career in the Army? I’m 19, I’m graduating at the end of 2007 with a degree in International Affairs/History and I want to serve the country. For the past year, I’ve been thinking about joining the Army, going through Duntroon and serving for a decade or so.

    A lot of people suggest to me that I should do a law degree and serve with DFAT instead of the ADF, because it’s a lot safer.

    Any insights you can offer?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 06:13 AM • permalink

  137. #125 SOCG (Sit On Chair Groaning)

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 19 at 06:14 AM • permalink

  138. #132, Ian Dean:

    A man can live well, become crippled or die, either civvie or soldier.

    Living with a bag full of regret for decisions not made can cause the later years to be more painful than they’d otherwise be.

    You’re coming up to the time when you take your “final shape” as to what sort of man you’ll be.

    No matter which path you take, make sure you take it for your reasons and not simply to please others.

    Btw, I don’t mean that as saying you should pick military, although, there is some truth to the old belief that any man that meets the regs and is fit, that doesn’t answer the call to arms when his country is at war is a lesser form of man than those that do.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 06:15 AM • permalink

  139. You mean, the same way you got all worked-up about some Aussie journo 3000 miles away?  One who included you amongst perhaps two dozen other lazy/reading-challenged “journalists” over the past year who can’t separate fact from fiction?  And, out of all of them, you were the only one to get “worked-up” enough to send a chest-thumping/empty-threat email in response?

    Is that what you mean, Mikey the Pagan?

    Looks like you’re the one projecting, Mr. 51-going-on-13.  Face it: you’ve reached the acme of your life as a blowhard poseur writing for a tinhat rag that couldn’t stand up to the Athens News-Courier.

    Posted by marcus on 2006 12 19 at 06:19 AM • permalink

  140. 185600
    Mark L: Oh, I think others had his number long before I came along! By the by, I forgot to ask, as a crab, which class? I have obviously served beside a few of you guys:)

    I’ve had a weird career. Joined pussers in the 70s, came close to my 20 there (DFRDB is a good thing), jumped over to become a crab, did another long stint as a reg there, now double dipping as a reservist with a job and DFRDB. We use a very different system to ARES for that. Every weeks a payday, ya gotta love it.  A bunch of my lot have been to AASM territory already (back room boys, techies, box-packers and some other unusual ones): Rockies up the clacker, Ronnie could not do it without us. I’m busting a gut for ‘07. Had to pass up a MEAO tour this year. Got the offer a couple of days after leaving my old defence job, after 2 years of trying! New employer would not have been happy. Just my bloody luck.

    I’ve got this little black cloud on a stick that I wander around with on this score.
    :)

    Think I might have an idea of your mob. Glad you are not shipping until after Xmas, that makes a big diff for the family.

    You keep safe.

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 06:20 AM • permalink

  141. Hi Mike.
    I’m a little late in on all this but you didn’t happen to serve in the same unit as a chap called Thom Lyons did you?

    Posted by Hank Reardon on 2006 12 19 at 06:28 AM • permalink

  142. "There’s no arguing with you, Grimmy. You’re fucking nuts. And a latent homosexual as well, a trait shared by many right wingers.
    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:29 AM”

    Latent homosexual? The jig is up fellows! My Cudson has our number. *affixes tutu*

    (Apologies to the actual homosexuals, and women, and actual women homosexuals.)

    Posted by wreckage on 2006 12 19 at 06:29 AM • permalink

  143. #125

    That was bloody excellent.

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 06:31 AM • permalink

  144. #127 Ian: Go for Int mate, if you want to be overseas constantly, those guys are always undermanned (Also handy if you want to go to one of the government agencies after you get out). Failing that, Infantry, but only if you promise to serve in SOCOMD, needs people with half a brain.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 06:31 AM • permalink

  145. You dhinger chickenhawks wouldnt know heat like I felt in Bootcamp Kentucky in ‘75.
    It was hot. Way hotter than you Rethuglicans could cope with.
    Y’all were sitting in your aircon SUVs guzzelin all the stolen illegal Iraqi oil, eatin’ cheeseburgers while I was bein’ yelled at in Kentucky ( where it was really hot and people yelled at me).
    It just aint right.
    I didnt have any fastfood (cheeseburger) for the whole six weeks of my military service and I am pissed.

    Posted by Squiffy on 2006 12 19 at 06:38 AM • permalink

  146. #130 Grimmy: Thanks mate, my mum has already told everyone who knows us to come around for Christmas day, but not to see me (she hasn’t me t the girlfriend. I think Dirty Harriet the constable is in for a busy meet and greet session:)
    Lil’ Mikey is a f*cking snake in the grass, and demeans a great nation like the USA that allows him the freedoms to do so. Knucklef*cker.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 06:40 AM • permalink

  147. Bosnia? 1970s? Was it on a tourist visa? No war there at that time. Clinton and US troops in Bosnia was in the 1990s. But no reference to the Rangers being among them.

    It was Bosnia, not Bermuda?

    Posted by Contrail on 2006 12 19 at 06:41 AM • permalink

  148. #132 Ian Dean

    Actually, this might be the best place possible for me to ask this: what do you guys think about a career in the Army? I’m 19, I’m graduating at the end of 2007 with a degree in International Affairs/History and I want to serve the country. For the past year, I’ve been thinking about joining the Army, going through Duntroon and serving for a decade or so.

    A lot of people suggest to me that I should do a law degree and serve with DFAT instead of the ADF, because it’s a lot safer.

    Any insights you can offer?

    BIG question.

    I’ve been a member of 2 services, RAN and RAAF. Both are high tech (the laughter you hear is my USN friends) and low manpower services. Both offer damned good careers with a lot of travel. Better, both offer a sense that you are actually doing a really hard job with very high quality people.

    The Army differs a bit, it is, by its nature, dependent more on large numbers of people than lots of capital equipment - but even an infantry private is a skilled specialist these days. I have done a lot of work with Army over the decades and have grown to admire them very much.

    It is fascinating that the major reason the RAN is getting back into the carrier game is because that is what the Army needs to do its job. It is all joint operations these days.

    All services have their own problems and issues, there are some right clowns in ALL of them. Overall, I’d say the RAAF treats it people better than the RAN. I’ve seen good and bad in what the Army does and will make no comment about how it manages its people. I am not qualified to offer such an opinion.

    With the exception of the RAN (which is too nepotistic for my tastes) that ADF tends to be a meritocracy.

    I have worked and continue to work with DFAT. It has some very good people, and it has some of the worst I have ever seen. It is ‘sexy’ in the overseas travel/posting side of life. I would not work there if you paid me - because of the cliques and factions. A DFAT career may well be powerfully influenced by which clique and faction you join, and the internal backbiting can be very bad. I have a friend who moved into DFAT after many years elsewhere, and he is doing very well. He is one of a nicest and brightest people I have ever met, he has a powerful intellect. A contributing reason that he is doing well is that he has always been gay, and fit in to that clique within DFAT (which is hardly the only Department with such cliques! They ALL have cliques - all workplaces do).

    It can also be bad in some parts of the ADF. That’s life.

    Overall, I would not change what I have done over the past near-30 years if I had my time over.

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 06:42 AM • permalink

  149. #144 - Is it difficult to get into Intelligence? I had assumed that there was a lot of competition to get in, but if they’re undermanned then maybe I’m wrong?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 06:44 AM • permalink

  150. #140 Mark L: Yes, you probably do know the unit. Actually I’ve met a lot of people in your situation, mostly they’re guys that have left the Regs, but still work part time as instructors. One of my instructors on a certain course was, and he certainly knew his stuff. I will forgive you the pusser period, obviously legacy of a misspent youth mate:)

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 06:47 AM • permalink

  151. #147 -
    You questioning my military record chickenhawk?
    Why dont you just trundle on down to the recruitin’ station and put your money where your mouth is . Like I did.

    Posted by Squiffy on 2006 12 19 at 06:49 AM • permalink

  152. You’re fucking nuts. And a latent homosexual as well, a trait shared by many right wingers.
    Posted by mike hudson on 2006 12 19 at 05:29 AM

    Is anyone else utterly unsurprised to see homophobia coming from a leftard? Fer crissake, it’s almost sad the way they resort to calling people gay.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 12 19 at 06:51 AM • permalink

  153. #127 Ian If that feels right for you then I say go for it. FWIW, I’ve had one daughter go through ADFA (Navy) and she’s now a lawyer in the Navy.  Over the years I’ve met quite a number of young men and women officers in our forces (though mostly Navy) and I’ve been very impressed with their professionalism and esprit de corps.  They’re a fine group of young people.  A while ago now I even spent a day out on HMAS Melbourne and that also was most impressive.  One thing you’ll find with the forces, no matter which service, is that your career options will be many and varied.  LLB would also be a good choice.  Best wishes.

    Posted by Wand on 2006 12 19 at 06:52 AM • permalink

  154. Do revelations that Mike was lying about his army service imperil that reference Tom Ridge allegedly wrote for him? Come to think of it, is the reference itself another fib?

    On the subject of his Kentucky service, I at least give credit to the man for not revealing anything about herbs and spices to the New York Times.

    Posted by C.L. on 2006 12 19 at 06:53 AM • permalink

  155. #148 - Thanks for your input, there’s a lot of good information in there, especially about DFAT. The (admittedly few) ex-DFAT staff I’ve met have all been pompous tossers, and I’ve never really felt like that’s an environment I want to be working in.

    Your most valuable remark might be the one about having no regrets, though.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 06:53 AM • permalink

  156. #125 LOL!

    Posted by C.L. on 2006 12 19 at 06:54 AM • permalink

  157. #153 - Thanks Wand. Has your daughter been generally pleased with her experience of ADF life? And how does she deal with the question of family - is she going to do it concurrently or is she waiting until she retires from service?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 06:57 AM • permalink

  158. G’nite Girls.
    I’ve had a hard day today battling you Girl Scouts on this internet thingy and now I’m beat. Blankie and Pillie is calling.
    p.s. Dont make me mad anymore or I swear I’ll come down to that 4th world shithole you call Austria and beat you around the head with my mighty American member.
    Nite nite.

    Posted by Squiffy on 2006 12 19 at 06:58 AM • permalink

  159. #124

    Ever left your continent, Mike?

    It’s a pertinent question. Remember when the American left kept going on about how America needs to broaden its dialogue and become more outward looking in its foreign policy? And whenever the outside world piped up, they’d do a Mike Hudson - going all Yankee Doodle Dandy and telling us to shut the fuck up?

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 12 19 at 06:59 AM • permalink

  160. Mikey,unlike plastic turkeys your sad arse has been fucking roasted.

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 07:00 AM • permalink

  161. #149 Ian: It’s a buyer’s market at the moment mate, and yes, it is fairly hard to get into, but you seem semi lucid, and have a uni degree behind you, so you would probably make it. Be aware though, that they give you what they think will serve the ADF, if that matches with your wishes, then great. But if you do have the ability, you do get what you want. I’ve always gotten whatever I wanted from the Army by working my arse off, but hey, I’m not perfect either. If you do decide to go Army, and make it, listen to the NCOs and the Officers who do the same. A lot of our officers end up working for DFAT (hey, Mark L) and certain other agencies, but mate, be prepared for the commitment. But good luck with uni, I hope that you enjoy you’re time there, and do well.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 07:01 AM • permalink

  162. Amazing how quickly the multiculti mask drops - took less than 10 comments for Hudson to trot out the homosexual charges.

    Fast forward 10 years.

    Senator Hudson: “I have here in my hand a list of two hundred and five people that are known to be homosexuals....

    Posted by 13times on 2006 12 19 at 07:02 AM • permalink

  163. AlburyShifton:

    For a New England yankee to travel south for the winter to Florida is as much of a cultural differential as an Englander going to vacation at the coast in Spain.

    All that crap about Americans not knowing this and not knowing that… mostly stems from us having been declared “somewhat less than human” since we “have no souls”. The euro sees the American through the same lens he sees Jews. Same descriptors, same rhetoric, same imagery.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:04 AM • permalink

  164. We should be grateful he was only wrong on one count regarding ex-pats: Kiki Dee. At least he didn’t blame us for Adolph Hitler and Hans Asperger’s Syndrome.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 12 19 at 07:05 AM • permalink

  165. Hitler was an Aussie? I always did think he talked funny. Now it makes sense.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:07 AM • permalink

  166. Hey, this is not fair.  America was asleep.  I fell asleep watching the Bengals vs. Colts game.  Hudson evidently doesn’t sleep and has been arguing with the Australian contingent of the commenters here while his countrymen were getting needed rest.. 

    I feel like I’ve walked into a buffet line when all the good stuff has been eaten.  There’s nothing left.  Next time can we please keep the comment section closed until 7 am Niagara Falls time?  That way the Americans can partake of some of the fun.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 12 19 at 07:07 AM • permalink

  167. Murph (and others) - don’t forget the Australians under Sir John Monash on the Western Front (from the Somme & Hamel through places like Villiers-Bretonneux to the Hindenberg line). Many think that the Anzac legend is all about Gallipoli. That was only the beginning.
    Check this site for some details of the actions our troops participated in, and won much ground with (for the most part) less loss of allied lives than was becoming the norm there. WW1 would not have ended as well as it did without our contribution. Some writers (perhaps a little biassed) say Monash and the Australians (lots of VCs earned there) made a major contribution to winning that war.
    Monash’s planning and tactical effectiveness combined with a concern for his men made him a legend. He was kighted on the battlefield by the King of England, a rare honour.
    Let Hudson have his turkey moment, if it means so much to him. There are more important things to correct.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 12 19 at 07:09 AM • permalink

  168. #166, wronwright:

    I stood for us as best I was able. I know all y’all could have done it better and more finesse like, but hell, I did what I could.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:10 AM • permalink

  169. (wronwright wakes up to check on his favorite blog and how well his troll-bot is working.  Aaaaah!  It’s gone all Margo!  Must turn down the moonbat attentuator.  There, hope Andrea didn’t notice anything fishy).

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 12 19 at 07:12 AM • permalink

  170. "Kighted” is in fact so rare as to be unknown. “Knighted” is more recognisably an honour.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 12 19 at 07:12 AM • permalink

  171. Hey wronwright you can take a trip up to Niagara Falls and punch the prick in the nose for Australia if you like.

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 07:13 AM • permalink

  172. #163 Grimmy: Dead on target there, most people don’t get the fact that a country that big (300 million, I believe), is going to have cultural differences within it’s own borders. But every American I have met overseas or in Australia (God’s country) have been mostly polite, funny and friendly. Haven’t met too many people from other cultures I could say the same about, unfortunately. Oh, and to a certain girl named Colleen from Kansas, thanks for explaining ‘grits’ to a 20 year old 185600 many years ago.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 07:13 AM • permalink

  173. #163
    No offence meant, Grimmy.
    Mike just doesn’t sound too well travelled or culturally versed when he starts slinging sh*t.
    As stated earlier, he wouldn’t be game to have such a crack at Canadians coz they’re nearby.

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 19 at 07:19 AM • permalink

  174. #157 Ian, I can’t talk from direct experience like Mark L though what he said sounds right on from some of the stories I’ve heard.  As a full time ADF career officer you would be posted to one of a number of locations in Australia or overseas depending on the service and your speciality. And of course if you happened to be a front line officer that could mean an overseas posting in hostile territory.  Also, I’ve noticed that the ADF values higher education and will support officers furthering their education.

    As for my daughter all I can say is that with family she has been able to keep in touch quite well particularly considering where she’s been posted and she has pretty well enjoyed her Navy experience so far.  Sure there have been ‘issues’ from time to time, but she sorted things out along the way.

    Gee, the posts have been flying thick and fast here tonight, haven’t they?

    Posted by Wand on 2006 12 19 at 07:21 AM • permalink

  175. #167 Blogstrop

    Two interesting factoids about Australia’s greatest military commander, Gen Sir John Monash,

    1/ he was a reservist and,
    2/ he was a Jew

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 07:21 AM • permalink

  176. No offense taken egg_. Sorry if I sounded that way. I just sometimes try to look for instances where I can sound a bit “knowery”, you know?

    With all the deep thoughters on this forum, dedicated knuckle-dragger like me gets a bit self conscious at times.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:22 AM • permalink

  177. damn missed the fun

    what are grits anyway?

    there used to be ads for a paper called grit ( i think) at the back of some american comics i read as a kid, and you’d get cool prizes for selling the thing

    (oh how i coveted those prizes)

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 19 at 07:24 AM • permalink

  178. After you lot finish with him he’s gonna bet the

    Niagra Staggerer

    Posted by kae on 2006 12 19 at 07:24 AM • permalink

  179. #163

    All that crap about Americans not knowing this and not knowing that… mostly stems from us having been declared “somewhat less than human” since we “have no souls”. The euro sees the American through the same lens he sees Jews. Same descriptors, same rhetoric, same imagery.

    I’ve been able, as much as one can when one can’t actually visit a place, to get a small handle on what America’s all about. And it’s Big. And Varied. And Multi-layered. And Bad. And Wonderful. And - what pisses outsiders off most - reasonably self-contained and self-sufficient. America assumes the rest of the world can look after itself the way America can. And is generally surprised when it finds itself in the middle of a shit-fight started by some foreigner.

    All this bullshit about American imperialism. America only intervenes in foreign affairs when its own interests are threatened, and Uncle Sam always goes home when it’s all over.

    I’m always trying to explain this stuff to my friends, neighbours and family, but they just don’t get it. They only know the odd bit of news they get on the telly or that they read in the paper. And news from America is always Baaaaaad! (But they never consider the fact that good news doesn’t sell)

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 12 19 at 07:25 AM • permalink

  180. #101 Egg: sorry mate, just got it. Now that is probably spot on. Please don’t think me rude, it’s just that all of us soldiers are jost soo stoopid, jusst ask John Cary:)

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 07:25 AM • permalink

  181. Grits are like hominy.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:27 AM • permalink

  182. Thanks for the advice, guys, I’ll definitely be saving a copy of this for future reference.

    I’m off to bed now - best wishes to those of you who are serving, maybe I’ll get to work with you someday.

    And if anybody else has any advice or suggestions, I’ll check this thread again tomorrow or you can email me: ian (dot) deans (at) gmail (dot) com. Thanks!

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 12 19 at 07:28 AM • permalink

  183. For all those interested about John Monash, this is a good summary.

    And yes, the Murdoch is Rupert’s old man, which sort of puts pay to the idea that the Murdochs have a soft spot for Jews.

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 07:28 AM • permalink

  184. #150

    I will forgive you the pusser period, obviously legacy of a misspent youth mate:)

    OOOOOOOOHHH YEAH!!
    Pussers: Biggest punchup EVER when my boys decided to teach some USMC the Dance of the Flaming Arseholes in Bugis Street one fine night. Packed it was, most of a MEU in port.

    Smokey: “Yeah, yank, ya roll the paper this way, angle it up like this, stick it up yer freckle, light it and DANCE!”
    “That looks easy”
    “yeah, yank, she’ll be jake, and the true artiste blue flames through the tube half way through the burn!”
    “Really?”
    “Really. Watch me!”
    SO Smokey does just this. Three foot long blue flame, the lot.
    “Man, that was amazing!”
    Up gets the yank and six of his big hairy mates.
    “Boss?”
    “Yes, Smokey”, says me.
    “This’ll be funny.”
    “Oh SHIT!! WHY Smokey!!”
    “I gave him waxed paper.”
    ...
    ...
    “"Smokey?"
    “Yes, boss?”
    “ There’s 150 of us, 100 Kiwis, mebbe 200 pommies and 50 poor frigging Canucks who look lonely without snow.”
    “Yep”
    “Theres 900 yanks, and they are ALL Marines.”
    “Ummm”
    <Sound of the world’s biggest Marine screaming as boiling hot liquid wax runs down into his freckle>
    “ALL HANDS TO KNUCKLING STATIONS!”

    Man-o-man. Two hours and even then the Singapore riot squad could do nothing but contain it.

    I think that qualifies as ‘misspent’.

    MarkL
    canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 07:28 AM • permalink

  185. Ok. I’m back. I was having bad dreams about my time in the service (Vietnam at Num Dong Dang and Kentucky Shoutey/Hot’75).
    Wakes me up in a cold sweat every time.Damn.
    That’s something you chickenhawks dont have to deal with. The memories.
    The heat, the bugs that give you disease.
    Charlie on the fenceline. The Sargeant telling me to clean the latrines. Yelling. Always yelling.
    Shoutey shout. The heat.
    You chickenhawks have NO idea.
    hah!

    Posted by Squiffy on 2006 12 19 at 07:28 AM • permalink

  186. AlburyShifton: The only real difference, to my limited understanding, between Americans and Australians is that where our fore fathers ended up, geographically, with more natural resources to build from and utilize.

    “character” wise, I always get the impression that the American and Australian, in all our varieties, are pretty much samey same.

    Correct me if I am wrong and I don’t intend that as an offense to anyone.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:31 AM • permalink

  187. thanks grimmy- we live and learn (except for mr hudson)

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 19 at 07:32 AM • permalink

  188. Thanks grimmy.

    Grits are like hominy.

    What’s hominy?

    Posted by kae on 2006 12 19 at 07:34 AM • permalink

  189. #176
    Enjoy ur contributions, Grimmy.
    I guessed that, with your big continent and population, Mike may have never have left, even with the Pagans; we Aussies have no choice, as we are an island continent, but OS travel for us is much like for you guys: half our flight time travelling to Asia is spent just clearing our continent.

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 19 at 07:35 AM • permalink

  190. properly done grits are a lot like rizzoto but with a bit more texture.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:36 AM • permalink

  191. kae:

    Hominy is alot like grits.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:38 AM • permalink

  192. "Mommy, my Mikey doll’s string broke and he won’t talk no more.”

    “Well, I told you not to lend it to that Grimmy boy!”

    Posted by Dminor on 2006 12 19 at 07:39 AM • permalink

  193. 3184 Mark L: Perhaps not too misspent after all! I remember on my basic para course, talking to an old RAAF Warrant Officer who was training the loadmasters, and he said something about me carrying a massive pack despite being small for an infantryman. I tried to explain that I wasn’t, I was a signaller, I’d just fallen in with a bad crowd. He laughed, and made sure I was last out of the plane that day. Ta gramps. That meant that I was practically running out the door, missed the LZ and ended up in the trees. I think that the reason I was last was that as we were talking he asked my last name, because I looked familiar, then asked if my dad had served in Vietnam. I said yes, he and three of my uncles all volunteered as soon as they were allowed to leave from the orphanage they were in. Turned out he was in the helicopter squadron at nui dat, supporting 9 RAR, my uncle Barry’s battalion, and they had a punchup.Bloody Vietnam vets:)

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 07:41 AM • permalink

  194. Dminor:

    I didn’t do it! You didnt see me do it! You cant prove anything! I wasnt there!

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:42 AM • permalink

  195. Sad to say I know Mike’s type well, I knocked around small-town journalism for a few years before I graduated, and there were two types, generally speaking, in the biz at that level—the locals who loved the area and knew it well and who really wanted to be at the paper, and those who had failed to stick at a higher level of journalism and had resigned themselves to churning out thinly-veiled cynical crap because they weren’t good or sober or hard-working enough for anything better. 

    I knew a few Mike Hudsons, had the misfortune to work for one of them, his type is an occupational hazard of small-town journo and all you can really do is feel sorry for them.

    That said, all Aussies here please accept my apologies on behalf of all Americans with I.Q.s above room temperature for this sad hack’s incoherent lying and ranting.  I honestly cringed reading his crap, but I can see why he’s making his beer money at a useless little backwater rag and why he won’t ever amount to anything more than a handful of bitter phrases once he’s dead.

    Posted by Clubbeaux on 2006 12 19 at 07:42 AM • permalink

  196. Grimmy

    I particularly enjoyed the “Eczema Breakthrough” ad on the recipe page.  Sure did wonders for my appetite!

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 07:43 AM • permalink

  197. #184, MarkL:

    As an unofficial representative for the USMC, I have this to say about your story!

    ROFL!!!

    Oh, libo stories. The best part of going on cruises, besides the women...and usually, the access to a better beer than our home brew, was always the brawls.

    I still have teeth I never got fixed just because of the memories associated with getting them broke.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 07:47 AM • permalink

  198. #163 Grimmy, I agree about the euro thing,Sitting in a backpacker bar in Sydney after a loung tour with a few tour guide mates and this euro chick comes up and wants to know were we a from, “Australia” i said,She looks at us funny and and replies “what are you doing here”.{you know,what are dumb hick aussies doing in a european superior bar),My mate Curry who is of Sri Lanken descent pipes up in a broad Aussie accent “We’re Aussies,what the fuck do you thing we’re doing here,we live here.”

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 07:47 AM • permalink

  199. I guessed that, with your big continent and population, Mike may have never have left, even with the Pagans; we Aussies have no choice, as we are an island continent, but OS travel for us is much like for you guys: half our flight time travelling to Asia is spent just clearing our continent.

    Pommies are often bemused by the fact they can have been flying for 3 hours and still be over Australia.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 12 19 at 07:48 AM • permalink

  200. #198 Are you fucking serious?  What are we?  Disneyland?

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 07:49 AM • permalink

  201. Looks like someone with Mike’s command of written English wrote his failed band’s Web page:

    “It all started summer 1977. Handfull of young lads had nothin’ better than do than play some rock n’ roll music. Cleveland back in the 70’s was not ready for a band like the Pagans. Most people where stuck on top 40 radio. The band did not relate to that sound. It wasn’t real to them. Pagans came straight off the dark streets Cleveland. Thats where the band devolpe with their rough, raw, high energy rock sound.”

    Here’s hoping his copy editor gets paid what she’s evidently worth.

    Posted by Clubbeaux on 2006 12 19 at 07:49 AM • permalink

  202. Cleveland back in the 70’s was not ready for a band like the Pagans

    That is sooooo lame.

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 07:51 AM • permalink

  203. #193

    Hmm. He might have known Wing Comamnder John Thynne. Top hand, he is (he’s out now). Two tours as a wokkadriver out of Vung Tau as a lad.

    Used to tease him, the usual stuff, ‘the only reason a helicopter actually gets airborne is that they are so ugly the Earth repels them’ kinda deal. He gave better than he got.

    Yep, bloody Vietnam vets. The kids these days say that about bloody Cold War vets! Ain’t that sad?

    Heh - I’ve become a crusty!

    Work early tomorrow, so off to get some sleep(where’s me walking frame??).

    MarkL
    canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 07:54 AM • permalink

  204. #197

    Oh, shit, Grimmy.Me too!

    Lost the top 2mm off the top of the front lower ones in that punchup. Boy I took a flogging. Gave out a bit too. Hint: lie doggo when the Singaporean riot police get the upper hand as they eventually do. Then play the innocent who got KO’d early in the piece.

    <looks suspiciously at Grimmy>

    You weren’t there, were you?? If you were the bugger with that red chair we have things to discuss.

    Now I AM off to bed!

    MarkL
    canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 12 19 at 08:00 AM • permalink

  205. #203 Mark L: Sleep well mate, and remember, those ain’t wrinkles son, those are experience.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 08:00 AM • permalink

  206. Murph i could write a book about shit like that. You will love this one,had a young pom working for us as a cook on one of our fancy tours,a really nice kid,he cooks a great meal one night,the group sits down,everyones happy except this french guy who looks a his lovely t-bone steak decides he is not happy with it,picks it up and slaps it across this pommy kids face.He came down to my camp a little stressed about being wacked with a t-bone, took a few guides to hold me down to stop me killing the french prick

    Posted by sparrow on 2006 12 19 at 08:03 AM • permalink

  207. Sleep well MarkL.

    No, I wasn’t in that one, more the pitty though. It would be a hoot and a half to be able to trade memories with the “honorable opposition” from one of them events.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 08:05 AM • permalink

  208. Grimmy to AlburyShifton: The only real difference, to my limited understanding, between Americans and Australians is that where our fore fathers ended up, geographically, with more natural resources to build from and utilize

    Hmmm… I would add a bit about how and why our fore fathers ended up where they did; many Aussies have a convict ancestor.  Bloody proud of it as well (seriously!) I’m sure that such background(s), now melded into the overall genepool, give us our er, attitude outlook on life, especially when playing the Poms at cricket (I knew I could work the Ashes into this thread!).

    Many Poms and retards like Huddo think its an insult to call an Aussie a ‘convict’ (but his research was too shallow to uncover this part of us).  Quite the contrary.  Badge of honour, thank you.  I have 4 convicts in my ancestors.  Each of them did their time, went into business in the new country and ended up quite comfortable, thank-you.

    41652

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 08:08 AM • permalink

  209. #169 You’re right, wronwright. Dang.

    This is like waking up on Christmas morning and finding your toys already opened and played with by your siblings.

    Sigh.

    Perhaps some of our friends will save some troll for us some day.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 12 19 at 08:09 AM • permalink

  210. #197 Grimmy: Nothing wrong with a decent brawl, especially between mates, hell, that’s what this country was founded on dammit. But I have to say, WTF do you feed those Marines? A few years ago one of them literally beat the hell out of a table I was busy cowering under um, preparing a stunning response to his unwarranted violence. Nothing wrong with a good blue, as long as people don’t take it too far, of course.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 08:10 AM • permalink

  211. Sad Mikey writes #40:

    “The [VFW] members there go through 250 copies of the Reporter a week.”

    Toilet paper, birdcage liner and fishwrap being as pricey as they are.

    Posted by Clubbeaux on 2006 12 19 at 08:11 AM • permalink

  212. SCD! It wasn’t unheard of for wayward Brits to be shipped off to “the new world” colonies in chains as well.

    Many of those that the original colonies were built upon were former members of various “underground” groups opposed to the crown and forced into fleeing to the Americas earlier in their life.

    The American Revolution was as much a continuation of several and various former attempts at rebellion in places like Ireland, Scotland and England as it was an organic, grassroots refusal of rule imposed by the crown.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 08:16 AM • permalink

  213. #208: A great many Americans are descended from convicts, sent here in the days before England had Australia to dump trash.  My ancestor was sitting in a London prison (petty crimes, usually debtor’s prison), some ship’s captain came to recruit for passage to Virginia, he raised his hand and there you are. 

    Of course you know more about the moon today than he knew about “Virginia.” That was the old indentured servant model—incidentally, the model for bringing Africans over between 1619 and 1688, the first year any slave was actually “sold” in the American colonies.  Before that they were imported as indentured servants the same way my white ancestor was, same terms.  Whether the terms were always honored as scrupulously—for whites or blacks—as they should have been is a different matter, of course.

    Posted by Clubbeaux on 2006 12 19 at 08:17 AM • permalink

  214. #210, 185600:

    Not a clue. I doubt it was the food though. I ate my fair share and didn’t suffer too terrible much.

    It might be an unexpected side effect of the forced “pussification” of the American male. Kinda like when dealing with bandits in an area dominated by Buddhism. They grow up thinking they’ve gotta be all super nicey nice and when they do “go bad” they tend to go way way super silly bad...like in a weird parody of what bad would look like to someone that’s only heard stories.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 08:21 AM • permalink

  215. The wonder, Grimmy, is that the Revolution didn’t happen sooner.  After 1763 we were thinking of ourselves as “Americans,” not “British,” and much of the reason is that Britain used colonies as places to send criminals, dissenters, malcontents, second sons and pretty much anyone who had a bone to pick with England. 

    Look at Spain—they sent out the highly-qualified, cream of the crop to the colonies for the most part, you had to take oaths of loyalty and all that, and they held their colonies for hundreds of years.  England lost most of hers one, two hundred years after establishing them.

    Posted by Clubbeaux on 2006 12 19 at 08:24 AM • permalink

  216. Tsk Mr Bingley & wronwright

    Hey, we have to have our fun vicariously, when we can get it.

    You guys at least can go and pay Huddo a personal visit if you dare!

    Go to Niagra Falls, check out the NF Bugle office, and then look behind the heap of empty gin bottles.  or, check out Huddo’s pic here - March 31st.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 19 at 08:25 AM • permalink

  217. #214 Grimmy: well, he certainly wasn’t ‘pussified’ I can certify to that, he wanted to fight, and it was great fun. Also, I got two chipped teeth out of that encounter (thrown bottle). Never had them fixed. No point. But I will be sueing the US Marines to get them fixed, how dare he attack me! Just kidding, a good blue lets off steam, and to be honest, I can’t remember exactly how it started, but by God it was fun:)
    Of course, as a Sergeant now, I’m only allowed to ‘tut tut’. Unless someone tries me directly.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 08:32 AM • permalink

  218. I fell asleep watching the Bengals vs. Colts game.

    So did the Bengals.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 12 19 at 08:35 AM • permalink

  219. #217, 185600:

    Aint that a bit*h? Work your tail off to prove your worth and get the rank and then have to let the “other ranks” (non-rates we call em) have all the fun.

    On the plus side, lots fewer instances of loo (sh*tters we call em) cleaning detail.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 08:35 AM • permalink

  220. #216 You guys at least can go and pay Huddo a personal visit if you dare!

    Aw heck no; it’s too far! I mean, from NJ to Niagara Falls has to be, what, 3000 miles or so?

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 12 19 at 08:43 AM • permalink

  221. #219 Grimmy: Yes, not too much dunny cleaning, but K-Rist! The amount of paperwork? I always said that I joined the army, not a f*cking girl scout platoon? Still, at least it’s better than my girlfriend’s job, cops are screwed by the amount of paperwork they do mate, believe me. But hey, at the end of the day, I’m getting home for Christmas, have a girlfriend with her own handcuffs, and get to go overseas to do my job in a few days how could life be better? Have a merry Christmas my friend, and a safe year.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 08:45 AM • permalink

  222. just some idle thoughts

    mike hudson refers to other men as girls

    he has a tendency to accuse others of latent homosexuality

    he certainly likes the colour pink

    notable australians he is familiar with include kylie minogue,helen reddy and olivia newton john (but not AC/DC)

    could his hatred for australia be because the pagans were never asked to headline at the sydney mardi gras?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 19 at 08:46 AM • permalink

  223. #206

    They really are c*nts aren’t they?

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 08:47 AM • permalink

  224. Thank you to Great Goddess Andrea.

    She bring troll meat for us to play with and eat.

    I go to cave now to rest and digest.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 19 at 08:47 AM • permalink

  225. #220, Mr. Bingley:

    You’re from NJ? as in Joisy?

    Folk from that area are tough. I know, I saw all the episodes of the Sopranos!

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 08:48 AM • permalink

  226. #221, 185600:

    You too mate. Merry Christmas! And do try to keep yourself all in one package till you get back home and safe from this upcoming deployment.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 08:51 AM • permalink

  227. I sent the following email to the NFR:

    Dear Editor:

    I am writing in relation to the December 19th column by Mike Hudson titled ‘When Aussies Attack!’ (Link). As an Australian I found the column disrespectful and insulting, particularly to the service men and women whom Hudson ridicules.

    Hudson’s contention that calling the Australian troops in Iraq a “fighting force” is a “stretch” is fatuous and ignorant. Australian soldiers have been recognised worldwide – including by both Republican and Democrat administrations in the US – as brave and committed warriors. Furthermore, Hudson’s description of the Australian infantry’s withdrawal from Gallipoli in the First World War is insulting to the memory of the nearly 9000 men who gave their lives in the service of the greater good. It demonstrates a significantly limited understanding of grand strategy and even history to describe the Gallipoli campaign as “meaningless”, as Hudson does, or to suggest that the Australians “simply walked away”.

    Indeed, there is much in the article that demonstrates Hudson did not even undertake basic background research. While he claims that Australia produced “dumb, talentless blondes” like Kiki Dee, he seems unaware that Kiki Dee is neither Australian nor blonde (Link). He also claims that the Gallipoli campaign was the last time Australians fought a battle against an Islamic army. In reality Australians have since served in Malaya, Indonesia and the First Gulf War (Link).

    I know and have known many Americans and I have been lucky enough to visit the United States in the past. I spent some weeks in New York and Connecticut and the locals I encountered were universally friendly. I sincerely hope that Mike Hudson’s views do not reflect the views of the citizens and corporate supporters of the Niagara Falls Reporter. Australian men and women have fought side-by-side with their American brothers and sisters since our Frederation in 1901 and columns like Hudson’s only serve deny that brave service.

    Sincerely,

    Dylan Kissane

    And just received the following reply:

    Thank you for your kind e-mail regarding our editorial. As you can imagine, we received so many positive e-mails regarding our editorial that we cannot possibly answer them all. But once again, thank you for your kind remarks regarding our editorial.

    Asinine in the extreme.

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2006 12 19 at 08:56 AM • permalink

  228. hudson is the editor

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 19 at 08:58 AM • permalink

  229. #184 Mark L,
    That may well be the funniest anecdote I’ve ever heard.

    Posted by Daniel San on 2006 12 19 at 09:02 AM • permalink

  230. #226 Grimmy: Thanks mate, just remember, this is going to be a long war, despite what the lefties think, whether it has pauses I don’t know. I reckon I’ll be alright, I have mates who know their jobs, but thanks for the sentiment, much appreciated, mate. Just remember, this is the little war right now, if we don’t do it properly, well, its the next big one. But hey, I’m only a soldier, what would I know /moonbat off/

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 09:09 AM • permalink

  231. kisdm001

    Don’t bother.

    By this stage, Hudson will be doing one of two things:

    - sitting in the corner of a dark room, sharpening a bowie knife, swigging from a bottle of whiskey and plotting revenge, whilst listening to a scratched LP of The Pagans and thinking "are you ready for me now Cleveland!?!", or

    - sitting in the corner of a dark room, rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb, clutching his “Barney the Dinosaur” teddy, thinking about Kentucky and crying for his mummy…

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  232. #230, 185600:

    Exactly.

    From my way of seeing things, we’re more at the Spanish Civil War phase preceding WW2 than we are at the Guadalcanal - first battle of Kasarine Pass phase as some suggest.

    There’s plenty fighting going on but the sides aren’t fully defined yet. Europe, for example, is still “undeclared/undecided” as to real true alliance.

    This has all the potential to turn into a kind of bloodletting that the world has yet seen in all its bloody history.

    I’m the kind that dont see a way through to the end of this that doesn’t require a walk through each and every single arab/muslim nation first. Break em, remake em into something functional, or at least non hostile, all of em, in singles or in batches.

    But you’d know better than me. Hell, I’m not even a soldier anymore.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 09:29 AM • permalink

  233. "Kiki Dee is a blonde so telently I simply assumed she was Australian.”

    “Telently” is not a word. Not a standard word, not slang, not street jive. Google it, and you get precisely zero hits. I assume Mike was trying to say something else, and was joking about this being slang. Who knows?

    For those readers who may be under the impression that “The 101st Fighting Keyboards” is original, it isn’t. The expression was coined some time ago by, I believe, a leftist blogger (whose name escapes me) to describe the proverbial “chickenhawk”.

    I think Mike probably sees himself as a sort of Studds Terkel - a skeptical, self-described populist sort of fellow, with a confusing mix of traditional prejudices and lefty politics, one of nature’s curmudgeons. Or maybe as a poor man’s Andy Rooney.

    With a very few exceptions (and the two authors mentioned above are not among them), I am not a fan of the self-styled curmudgeon. The type veers too closely toward, and frequently into, genuine misanthropy for my taste.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 19 at 09:32 AM • permalink

  234. Here’s something that’s being discussed. It’s one of the “forbidden” topics but its starting to work its way into the “to be discussed” lists.

    Toying with Genocide

    The best possible way to ensure eventual genocide is to keep going at the arab/muslim by half measure until they get the means to hurt us bad enough to awake the more atavistic rage inherent in all humans facing life or death type stress.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 09:38 AM • permalink

  235. #233 studds was interviewed on the phatty phil show awhile back- i can’t remember if he was dead and they were replaying an old interview or he was so old that he would soon be dead

    either way he came across as a usual suspect

    given the size of phils audience its safe to assume noone in oz knows who he is

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 19 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  236. #232 Grimmy: That’s my fear, I don’t have kids yet, (the constable has hinted she might be ready after we get married), but we are in that zone of ‘phantom war’ where no-one is prepared to admit that it could escalate. Kinda like WW2. I really hope we nip this in the bud, otherwise it will make WW2 look like a cakewalk. Still, we will win, if only for the simple fact that our societies, whilst they cannot produce cannon fodder by the million, can produce something more important. Men who understand the need to take action. That said, if someone glassed the ME with nukes I wouldn’t mind. Never liked humous anyways, you know, more a steak and vegies boy myself.

    Posted by 185600 on 2006 12 19 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  237. #136 Ian Deans, what do you want to join the DFAT for?  A couple of decades and you’re a defendant in Indonesia in a pedophilia case.  ADF is much better, for all of us.

    Posted by Crossie on 2006 12 19 at 09:57 AM • permalink

  238. Guys!  You’ve made this dumbass’ year.  He feels as important as Maureen Dowd.  Which is a real fete considering he runs an alt weekly from a small town in upstate NY whose population is probably way less than Alice Springs (yes, I have been to Australia).  The circulation of that rag consists of the local librarian and maybe his family members..  This is not the NY Times, or even the Woodstock Times.  You are also talking about a part of the state that sees more people leaving than moving there, so if it isn’t a ghost area yet, give it a few years.  FYI, NY State and Australia have approximately the same population.  In NY State 75% of the population lives south of Putnam County.

    Ann - a resident of NYC and the Hudson Valley—whose
    husband’s business was financed by investors from Perth…

    Posted by AnnNY on 2006 12 19 at 10:01 AM • permalink

  239. Wow, Niagra Falls boy makes good. International celebrity, feted from Wallongong, NSW to Fort Edward, Ontario for his trenchant prose and sparkling wit… NOT.

    Note to Mike Hudson: The “NOT” at the end of the above paragraph is known as an “Irony marker”. I just wanted to make sure that there was no misunderstanding

    When my 15 minutes come, I hope it is not because after writing 3 million words, the only way I can express my thoughts is by passing on lies I never bothered to check out, or never thought anybody else would check, as truth.

    Posted by moptop on 2006 12 19 at 10:07 AM • permalink

  240. #238: Guys!  You’ve made this dumbass’ year.

    Well, we always get a little sentimental this time of year. And Niagara Falls looks an awful lot like Potterville (what Bedford Falls would have been if it hadn’t been for Jimmy Stewart).

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 19 at 10:10 AM • permalink

  241. Niagara Falls looks like Potterville? Well, I guess.
    If you throw in a few chemical dumps and one atrocious smell. Search for “Love Canal” if don’t already know.
    The US side of Niagara Falls is pretty much a chemical dump. I’d have to say that’s affected Mike Hudson.

    Posted by Veeshir on 2006 12 19 at 10:16 AM • permalink

  242. Guys!  You’ve made this dumbass’ year

    Allowing an enemy to feel secure while engaging in act and actions that illuminate his own position and thereby making it easier to observe him at a distance, isn’t always a bad thing to do.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 19 at 10:16 AM • permalink

  243. AnnNY

    I understand your point.  But, it gets picked up by Google News, which is big enough for me.

    Yeah.  His story might make him the centre of attention at his club for about 5 minutes - until somebody belts him in the head for being a gobshite.

    Posted by murph on 2006 12 19 at 10:17 AM • permalink

  244. Ann,

    We are from all over, I myself am a member of the upstate NY diaspora. Kudos to Mike for finding a way to stick it out. Still, he is a pompous fool who, when in a hole, likes to keep digging. In other words, good entertainment. If he gets a few extra hits out of it, and maybe a word coined from his name, based on, say, serial exageration to the point of losing sight of the truth, then good on him.

    Here is a suggested usage: Al Gore sure pulled a Mike Hudson when he implied that he was involved in discovering Love Canal.

    He has already spawned one coinage by poster eeeniemeenie likely to spread: “Calumnist”

    Posted by moptop on 2006 12 19 at 10:17 AM • permalink

  245. "It’s a Wonderful Life” was set in Upstate NY. That’s the kind of thing us exiles know.

    Posted by moptop on 2006 12 19 at 10:20 AM • permalink

  246. I’m an upstate New Yorker who has spent time in American Niagara Falls, and long ago lived in Darwin and Parramatta.

    Walking down the street in downtown Niagara Falls is like walking down the street in Walgett, NSW, without any pubs.

    My mother once explained bull fighting by suggesting that poor rabble who attended them did so because they could rationalize that at least the bull was in a worse situation than they were.

    Let poor Mike rant his fiction. It lets the poor rabble in Niagara Falls fantasize that at least Bush was in a worse situation than they were.

    Posted by sbw on 2006 12 19 at 10:33 AM • permalink

  247. I hope Rich Hall is taking notes on how to be a tough guy.

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 12 19 at 10:39 AM • permalink

  248. I’m still reeling from being called a girl.

    Bet Mike’s chromosome mix is far more interesting.

    Posted by Dminor on 2006 12 19 at 10:40 AM • permalink

  249. I see that the Iron Mike controversy has generated hundreds of posts on various threads.

    That’s why it’s a good idea NOT to ban these idiots.  Let ‘em spew, so that we can have fun taking them, and their dishonest “arguments” apart. 

    Making fun of idiots like Hudson is more entertaining than sitting around all day agreeing with ourselves, and it generates more traffic for the website.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 12 19 at 10:57 AM • permalink

  250. Great thread, people!  mikey is out of his league, but is either too clueless or too drunk to know it.

    Or too embarrassed to admit it.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 12 19 at 11:00 AM • permalink

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