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RECOVERY UPDATE III

Esquire general manager Glenn Fitzpatrick, diagnosed last year with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, on the curious way one adapts to failing health:

Everything weakens so gradually that you almost get used to it. If I had woken up one day feeling like I feel now, I’d be freaking out. But it’s played out over time. Now I think, Well, I almost didn’t make it up that step. I guess I won’t be able to walk soon. It almost seems like the natural order of things.

I went through something similar prior to my own (much less dire) diagnosis. Here’s the latest recovery update:

• Recent doctor visit delivered all good news. Everything is on schedule. Presently I’m mainly waiting for reassembled tissue to become sufficiently fleshlike and ductile; the improvement in exterior scars serves as a rough guide to the healing of more substantial interior reattachments.

• Sydney reader Barry G., whose cancer surgery makes mine look like a weekend homeopathy course, writes:

One thing I was surprised with was the care given to me by the nurses. Without exception it was much more than a job for all of them, even the one who was the shop steward for the union. The physio girl, a very cute blonde, would fit in at army boot camp. Saying “no, I don’t want to get out of bed” just wasn’t an option. The best I got was a 30 minute reprieve to max out the morphine from the give-me-drugs-now machine, but in reality I wouldn’t have recovered as quickly or as well without her stern insistence.

Absolutely agreed. The nurses at my hospital, Prince of Wales Private, were angelic - and tough. Special mentions to Gretchen, remover of the staples, whose pain predictions for various procedures (ranging from “this won’t hurt at all” to “you’re going to feel this” and “you might want to hold on to something”) were unerringly accurate, and Italian import Valentina, who brought an exotic Roman flavour to proceedings. One afternoon I woke to see Valentina glaring at me. “You sleep-a too much!” she announced, before striding away in a perfect Italian huff. Everyone adores Valentina. More from Barry:

I’m also seriously in awe of the work ethic of the doctors. The surgeon who did my liver op (which took some 8 hours) reorganised his Saturday to fit me in. I had one of his underlings come in at about 9pm one evening, still in theatre bandannas etc, apologising that the doc wouldn’t make it tonight as they had just finished (after a 7am start) and he had another emergency op to do at Eastwood hospital that night. Would you believe I saw him at 6:45 the next morning? These guys are worth every cent they are paid.

Absolutely agreed again.

• Post-op, when you’re feeling like a deformed and isolated cross between James Stewart’s character in Rear Window and the Phantom of the Opera himself, friends are important. Mine have insistently reintroduced me to normal life. Like this site’s readers, they are wimp intolerant.

UPDATE. “I’d like to put in a word for the wonderful staff at St Vinnies in Sydney,” writes Swimmer Schwimmer. “Where I was had a great collection of (predominantly) Irish and Fijian nurses who had all the qualities described above. And the surgeons have the most back-busting schedules ever. Only passionate devotion to their job could possibly keep their bones moving.”

Posted by Tim B. on 03/05/2008 at 11:43 AM
  1. Presently I’m mainly waiting for reassembled tissue to become sufficiently fleshlike and ductile;

    My God, they’re putting you back to together with tape! Even our socialist healthcare system here hasn’t gotten that bad—at least, not that the MSM is reporting yet. (“Ductile” is a type of handyman’s silvery tape, isn’t it?)

    Still, take care, Tim, and we’re getting more snow here today so what I said in my e-card to you about “at least not having to shovel snow” still holds true. Take care.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2008 03 05 at 11:57 AM • permalink

  2. It constantly amazes me that we in America live in a culture that enriches parasitic lawyers at the expense of live-saving doctors.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2008 03 05 at 12:12 PM • permalink

  3. mother nature punched you in the gut and your readers and friends are demanding you get up and show her who’s boss.  good to hear things are going well

    Posted by matt123 on 2008 03 05 at 12:26 PM • permalink

  4. #1 Andy, the choice was staples, zippers, or duct tape. While the zippers are far more

    intersting

    than staples, the duct tape was chosen because it at least allows Tim to travel without a more extensive body search than they do now. He does still worry the authorities with that paper bag over his head. The first tip is the bag, of course. It doesn’t help that it doesn’t match the rest of his pasty body. Of course, neither does the duct tape. But Tim being the insanely clever guy that he is, has crafted an explanation that he is showing solidarity with his Aboriginal brothers and sisters. So you can see how duct tape is far better than the screaming alarm of a security wand.

    Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 03 05 at 01:00 PM • permalink

  5. That piece by Mr. Fitzpatrick is heartbreaking and inspiring.  I can certainly relate, although in no way as bad off as that.  I would add that at certain times, usually at low points, you can feel incredibly angry and cheated that your body would betray you like that, but fortunately, if you have the right kind of support, those moments are few.

    So glad you’re doing so well, Tim.  Life is good, ain’t it?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 03 05 at 01:08 PM • permalink

  6. #1: Presently I’m mainly waiting for reassembled tissue to become sufficiently fleshlike and ductile;

    My God, they’re putting you back to together with tape!

    Thank God for that, then. When he said “ductile”, I thought Tim meant that he was waiting for his organs to become all sappy and undefined, like a Leunig cartoon.

    Posted by paco on 2008 03 05 at 01:14 PM • permalink

  7. I have ductiles on my kitchen wall. But somehow I don’t think they want Tim’s insides to turn into those kind of ductiles.

    So pleased you’re on the ball Tim!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2008 03 05 at 01:48 PM • permalink

  8. ...allows Tim to travel without a more extensive body search than they do now… he is showing solidarity with his Aboriginal brothers and sisters.

    LOL. Good one, Deborah.

    And a friend had a duck-based transplant, Paco, and he ended up going quackers. So if your doctor suggests one, Tim, tell him to get bent. (Kind of like I am after shovelling 13” of global warming that drifted around the front of the car and the front of the house; the 5” of global warming from the back of the driveway and the sidewalk; and the 16” of global warming piled across the “opening” to the driveway piled up by the snowplow removing all of the global warming from the street. I’ll have to Google and see if Al Gore is in town.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2008 03 05 at 01:57 PM • permalink

  9. The next time I catch some leftista whinging about how horrible his life is in the Chimpy McBushhitler regime, I’m going to smack him so hard with that Fitzpatrick piece it’ll be permanently imprinted on the inside of his skull.

    Posted by Achillea on 2008 03 05 at 03:21 PM • permalink

  10. I’d like to put in a word for the wonderful staff at St Vinnies in Sydney. Where I was had a great collection of (predominantly) Irish and Fijian nurses who had all the qualities described above. And the surgeons have the most back-busting schedules ever. Only passionate devotion to their job could possibly keep their bones moving.

    Posted by Henry boy on 2008 03 05 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  11. #1 Andy, the choice was staples, zippers, or duct tape.

    I’m going with springs.  I got the idea from those Japanese cartoons we’re not supposed to mention here.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 03 05 at 04:53 PM • permalink

  12. Ya know, since Tim has to walk around with that little bundle of joy under his shirt now, he should match it up with a Kheffiyeh and see how tolerant the Fairfax folks REALLY are when he walks into the banquet…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 03 05 at 04:56 PM • permalink

  13. Great to hear Tim’s mending is going even better than Kevin08’s propaganda machine.

    May the former continue to improve and the latter bust a valve.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2008 03 05 at 05:12 PM • permalink

  14. #12 Richard,

    What if Tim fell victim to a bag-snatcher on the way to the Fairfax Banquet?

    If the crook were caught, would Police sift through the evidence to prove it was Tim’s?

    Posted by Pogria on 2008 03 05 at 05:24 PM • permalink

  15. Excellent news, Tim.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 03 05 at 05:48 PM • permalink

  16. Tim, this is great to hear. Many congrats on your recovery, and your kind words about the staff are great. If you want to make their day, most hospitals now have a program that allows you to make special mentions of any staff member or members who did a particularly good job. It goes in their file and might help them get a raise! If your hospital has this program, you might consider it.

    Posted by Dr Alice on 2008 03 05 at 06:24 PM • permalink

  17. That’s for sharing, Tim.  We appreciate your sharing of such personal details with us, as we are keeping you in our thoughts.  Best wishes.

    Posted by Roberts on 2008 03 05 at 08:24 PM • permalink

  18. #3

    mother nature punched you in the gut

    Gaia’s been allowed on the interwebbythingie again. She’s been reading your denialism…

    I had surgery years ago and a nurse told me that usually the smokers had an advantage on some others; they were busting a gut to get up and have a gasper so were quickly on the mend and moving around. Some of the others who didn’t smoke wallowed in their pain and had no impetus to get out of bed and start moving around.

    Glad you’re recovering well, please give best wishes to your Mum and Nadia and all others close with you before and during your recovery.

    Posted by kae on 2008 03 05 at 08:54 PM • permalink

  19. Excellent news, Tim!  But between all these tape jokes and this post of yours, is it fair to say you have tape worm as well?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 05 at 08:58 PM • permalink

  20. All fantastic news and some nice observations (hang on a minute, you’re not writing like some blood crazed right wing death beast! ;) ).

    Really glad you are recovering so well Tim.

    Always difficult to mix both sensitivity and humour when writing about serious illness, whether our own or that of others, but you pull it off with ease.

    And yes, the quality of caring that nurses AND doctors give never ceases to amaze me.

    Posted by Garth on 2008 03 05 at 09:14 PM • permalink

  21. Good to hear you’re healing well.

    And another testimonial to the private Freemason (no goat required) Hospital staff who were fantastic during a short stay a few years ago.  They’re worth every cent.

    Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2008 03 05 at 09:28 PM • permalink

  22. Onya Tim, and those fantastic doctors and nurses.

    Posted by koko on 2008 03 05 at 11:21 PM • permalink

  23. I was moved when I read Glenn’s article, because a cousin of mine whom I was very fond of died of ALS.  The article brought it all back.  It’s heart-breaking and I admire his courage and grace.

    As for you, Tim, we’ll have no more of this sickness.  Look it in the eye and show it who’se boss.

    All the best to you and Glenn.

    Posted by miriams ideas on 2008 03 05 at 11:35 PM • permalink

  24. ductile or
    duck tile

    Posted by matt123 on 2008 03 06 at 12:11 AM • permalink

  25. #8
    And a friend had a duck-based transplant, Paco, and he ended up going quackers.

    Andy, these cross species transplants are ok…..until youy get the bill.

    Posted by jaycee1953 on 2008 03 06 at 12:46 AM • permalink

  26. #25 LOL. The best joke on the world wide webbed today, jaycee. I hope it stops Tim from feeling down.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2008 03 06 at 01:02 AM • permalink

  27. Interesting to see David Niven also had ALS.

    Best of luck for you continuing improving health.  Still no news from my sister.

    Posted by peter m on 2008 03 06 at 02:57 AM • permalink

  28. Good news - hope the recovery sees you going from strength to strength.

    Posted by KK on 2008 03 06 at 09:09 AM • permalink

  29. I’m here in Melbourne for the first time ever, visiting from Philadelphia.  Any recommendations as to hospitals to go to should I get sick?  And Tim, if I end up on an operating table, do you think it will help or hurt for me to drop your name?

    So glad to hear your recovery is going well!

    Posted by Kimberly on 2008 03 06 at 05:55 PM • permalink

  30. The physio girl, a very cute blonde, would fit in at army boot camp. Saying “no, I don’t want to get out of bed” just wasn’t an option.

    I’ve heard some people in those circumstances refer to their physical therapist as their physical terrorist.  And they were only half-kidding.

    Posted by kcom on 2008 03 06 at 08:33 PM • permalink

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