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QUOTE SEASON CONTINUES VII

The Media Research Center presents its massive annual quotefest, including this, from Bill Maher:

Failing to warn the citizens of a looming weapon of mass destruction — and that’s what global warming is — in order to protect oil company profits, well, that fits for me the definition of treason.

And from NBC’s Matt Lauer:

Earth’s intricate web of ecosystems thrived for millions of years as natural paradises, until we came along, paved paradise, and put up a parking lot. Our assault on nature is killing off the very things we depend on for our own lives ...The stark reality is that there are simply too many of us, and we consume way too much, especially here at home.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/30/2006 at 05:51 AM
  1. I’m sure Matt will be cycling to work from now on… What you don’t think so???

    And that must be one of the lamest allusions to WMD’s that I have heard, but his audience with IQs lower than whale shit will just be lapping it up....

    Posted by casanova on 2006 12 30 at 06:02 AM • permalink

  2. There’s certainly far too many Matt Lauers- when does the cull start?

    They should be happy to be hunted for sport- they’re all convinced they’re going to kark it horribly, either eaten by starving polar bears with water wings, or slow immolation inside their geodesic domes when the atmosphere turns into a giant magnifying glass, and by being geo-sequestered they’re helping the planet.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 12 30 at 06:10 AM • permalink

  3. Didn’t Matt Lauer and his wife just have another child? Even though he’s so worried that “there are too many of us”? Does he not include himself and his family in “us”?

    Posted by JerryS on 2006 12 30 at 06:48 AM • permalink

  4. Australia must breed like crazy and become a vastly overpopulated and struggling society in order to ride the next wave of success. Once we have so many people that life is cheap, we can lower the cost of production while simultaneously avoiding any responsibility for pollution and our contribution towards global climate chaos.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 12 30 at 06:49 AM • permalink

  5. i was at a loss to explain katie couric’s huge salary but i get it now- she’s a comedian

    jon stewart from the desperately unfunny daily show should take notes and learn from the pro

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 30 at 06:53 AM • permalink

  6. The stark reality is that there are simply too many of us....

    I don’t understand why everyone who believes that doesn’t kill themselves. Remember, think globally, act locally!

    Posted by Brian O'Connell on 2006 12 30 at 07:17 AM • permalink

  7. ...paved paradise, and put up a parking lot.

    And Lauer didn’t even give credit to Melanie Safka for that delusional quote.

    Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 12 30 at 07:26 AM • permalink

  8. #7 me

    ... maybe because it was Joni Mitchell?

    Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 12 30 at 07:37 AM • permalink

  9. That’s what I get for relying on memory when I have a freakin’ computer sitting in front of me.

    Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 12 30 at 07:38 AM • permalink

  10. You crazy yanks gotta stop over-consuming.  I mean, come on, oil changes every 3000 miles? Puh-leeze!

    Posted by slammer on 2006 12 30 at 07:57 AM • permalink

  11. The stark reality is that there are simply too many of us, and we consume way too much, especially here at home. - Matt Lauer

    To all supercilious sociologists: If there is surplus population, then you are surplus population. - G. K. Chesterton

    Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2006 12 30 at 07:57 AM • permalink

  12. I guess Matt is thinking of the climatic norm, that is, the ice ages, when he talks of "millions of years as natural paradises".

    The interglacial warms have only ever lasted roughly 20,000 years at a time, of which we’re about 18,000 years into the present one.

    By contrast, the ice ages generally last 80,000 to 100,000 years a go.

    Millions of years as natural paradises???!!!

    Sure, if you like your ice a kilometre thick, or if you want to be able to walk all the way from Tassie to New Guinea.

    Posted by Ck on 2006 12 30 at 07:58 AM • permalink

  13. By the way, the Iraqis did eliminate one surplus guy tonight, using a knotted rope and trap door. I wonder if Lauer will celebrate this small but significant decrease in the planet’s supply of bloodthirsty dictators?

    Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2006 12 30 at 07:59 AM • permalink

  14. Carbon neutral is the new black. C’mon Matty, everyone’s doing it. Follow Sadman’s example and top yourself.

    Posted by CB on 2006 12 30 at 08:17 AM • permalink

  15. Urbs : Three, actually. They’re really doing their part for the environment.

    Those mass graves were no good for erosion. Hopefully we’ll be seeing less of them. Unless some of these ultra-lefties get their environmental wish.

    Posted by Nicholas on 2006 12 30 at 08:18 AM • permalink

  16. The stark reality is that there are simply too many of us, and we consume way too much, especially here at home.

    Promise you’ll shoot me after you shoot yourself Matt.

    Posted by Craig Mc on 2006 12 30 at 08:21 AM • permalink

  17. Too many of whom?  I’m sure there are too many viros.  Not only are they too many, they account for most of the noise polution we must endure.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 12 30 at 08:31 AM • permalink

  18. I read this too quickly and mistook it for Media Matters top-quote list.

    Which, when you think about it, makes sense also.

    Posted by Rittenhouse on 2006 12 30 at 10:05 AM • permalink

  19. Word on the street is, Bill Maher and Matt Lauer have been man and wifeman a couple, for few years now.

    Can’t remember for sure, but I believe I read about it here. Bill looked absolutely “Divine", in fact good enough to eat, from what was said.

    Former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey walked Bill, down the aisle.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 12 30 at 11:41 AM • permalink

  20. So it isn’t just western civilization that the lefty fucktards hate, it is the entire human species in general… western civ in particular… I only wish they would lead by example.

    Posted by Latino on 2006 12 30 at 11:42 AM • permalink

  21. Our assault on nature is killing off the very things we depend on for our own lives

    Really? The snail darter? The moa? The great auk? Welsh’s milkweed? The Texas poppy-mallow? As regrettable as may be the extinction of species, I don’t see that our lives have depended on these things.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 30 at 11:52 AM • permalink

  22. Matt Lauer seems to be a follower of the principle “there’s not enough of me and way too much of you.”

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 12 30 at 12:24 PM • permalink

  23. Paco

    Really? The snail darter? The moa? The great auk?

    In golf, one under par is a birdie, two under is an eagle, and the very rare three under par is an auk.
    And by damn, I need an auk!

    Posted by Merlin on 2006 12 30 at 12:37 PM • permalink

  24. Cubans who have chosen to stay on the island, however, are quick to point out the positives: safe streets, a rich and accessible cultural life, a leisurely lifestyle to enjoy with family and friends....

    I love this description.  Safe streets (because there’s nothing to steal), rich and accessible cultural life (sitting around singing folk songs because there’s nothing else to do), leisurely lifestyle to enjoy with family and friends (again, nothing else to do, and too tired anyway after struggling all day for that single dollar and that bowl of beans).  Sort of puts the “high literacy, great doctors” meme in perspective.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 12 30 at 12:39 PM • permalink

  25. Bill Maher really is in that magical other place if he thinks every damn semi-literate and sensate human hasn’t heard of glowalbarming by now.  I guess he’s being serious about his part and actually living in a cave.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 12 30 at 01:58 PM • permalink

  26. #23: Merlin, I feel a distinct tugging sensation in my leg.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 30 at 02:38 PM • permalink

  27. Matt Lauer?  The incredibly lame morning show host on NBC?  The person responsible for the “Where in the World is Matt Lauer” feature on The Today Show?  WitWiML consists of Lauer flying off to some exotic place, giving hints, and having the viewers try and guess “Where in the World is Matt Lauer”.  And he’s bitching about OTHER PEOPLE using too many resources?

    How about this:  Where in the World is Matt Lauer?  Under six feet of sod, taking a dirt-nap.  Works for me.

    Posted by David Crawford on 2006 12 30 at 03:03 PM • permalink

  28. i agree with matt lauer, we need another world war to cull the humans and bring the population back to sustainable levels.

    Posted by vinny on 2006 12 30 at 04:34 PM • permalink

  29. I’m fairly bursting at the seams with pride for my fellow Americans.

    Joel Stein deserves a special merit award for being the ass’s ass:

    "I don’t support our troops....When you volunteer for the U.S. military, you pretty much know you’re not going to be fending off invasions from Mexico and Canada. So you’re willingly signing up to be a fighting tool of American imperialism, for better or worse....I’m not advocating that we spit on returning veterans like they did after the Vietnam War, but we shouldn’t be celebrating people for doing something we don’t think was a good idea."

    Whadda schmuck.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 12 30 at 05:41 PM • permalink

  30. Can any of these global warming experts nail down the date on which we are all going to perish?  I want to make sure I owe a lot of people money at that time.

    Posted by blogagog on 2006 12 30 at 05:45 PM • permalink

  31. One that didn’t make the final cut, but could have:

    Co-host Rosie O’Donnell: “You have two choices in life, Elisabeth. Faith or fear. Faith or fear, that’s your choice. You can walk through life believing in the goodness of the world or walk through life afraid of anyone who thinks different than you and trying to convert them to your way of thinking. And I think that this country-”

    Co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck: “Well, I’m a person of faith, so I, but I also believe-”

    O’Donnell: “Well, then, get away from the fear. Don’t fear the terrorists. They’re mothers and fathers."

    --The View

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 12 30 at 06:00 PM • permalink

  32. Earth’s intricate web of ecosystems thrived for millions of years as natural paradises

    So much for the five-year old’s view on the history of the planet.

    Seriously: Hey Matt, during their history your “natural paradises” underwent hundreds of thousands of warm/cold cycles, equal numbers of volcano eruptions reshaping the landscape, dozens of large, vicious meteorite impacts doing the same thing, and millions upon millions of species going extinct. And that’s even without mentioning the little matter of every living organism being at the mercy of the food chain at all times. Natural paradise, my ass.

    Posted by PW on 2006 12 30 at 09:29 PM • permalink

  33. I should probably say, “an even larger number of volcano eruptions”.

    Posted by PW on 2006 12 30 at 09:30 PM • permalink

  34. Ummmhhhh, is Rosie’s kid’s bodyguard still packin’?  Seein’ as how Rosie’s given up fear?

    And all these celebrity globular swarming types should be made to go live in Cuba for the next decade or so.  That’d lower their carbon footprint (given that they had to live like the average Cuban).

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 12 30 at 10:59 PM • permalink

  35. Ck at #12, is probably correct.  The very large, long-term peril, is the Ice-Age cycling through again.  We’ll (well, “they’ll") have quite a bit of warning, due it’s general predictability, and usual slow onset, perhaps a few thousand years.  Our descendants will have their hands full, but plenty of time to work at solutions.  Much more likely than Gerbil Worming (^TM^ here, but open source for you guys).  Let’s call the icey onset warning, “Gerbil Crueling” (or something more creative).  We could have a contest for terms to apply to Earth’s ‘wobble’ and ‘tilt’, involving our now generally circular Solar orbit changing into another eliptical one (where the trouble starts - again). No human or animal or flora will be able to live on land above or below 45 degrees North or South latitude.  Serious stuff.  So ‘Wormers’ can stick that in their models, and smoke it.

    Posted by Gerry on 2006 12 31 at 12:11 AM • permalink

  36. Cubans who have chosen to stay on the island ...

    hahahahaha

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 12 31 at 04:52 PM • permalink

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