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QUOTE O’ THE WEEK

Jules Crittenden presents this week’s king quote:

“Well, you are now.”

As usual, context is required.

UPDATE. I’ve turned down several interview requests from Fairfax journalists over the last couple of years; maybe they should come with health warnings.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/15/2007 at 09:27 AM
  1. Well, I’m shocked and awed.
    /sarc

    Posted by TimH on 2007 06 15 at 09:34 AM • permalink

  2. Where’s Keysar Trad when they need him most?

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 15 at 09:36 AM • permalink

  3. #2, safely in Australia!

    Posted by TimH on 2007 06 15 at 09:37 AM • permalink

  4. Fascinating.  Jews and Muslims now with something in common: being the target of Muslim bullets.

    Guess it’s not about religion, after all?

    Posted by Tex Lovera on 2007 06 15 at 09:43 AM • permalink

  5. 4. Tex: Probably just one of those “cultural” things.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 09:47 AM • permalink

  6. TL

    The problem that the Mozzies will not face is that they greatest killers of Muslims have always been other Muslims.

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 15 at 09:47 AM • permalink

  7. With the RoP it’s always about religion, Tex.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 06 15 at 09:48 AM • permalink

  8. With the RoP it’s always about religion, Tex.

    That’s because “RoP” = “Religion of Pieces”, not “Religion of Peace”.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 15 at 09:50 AM • permalink

  9. Currently having a good craic on the BBC message boards if anybody wants to help out.

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 15 at 09:50 AM • permalink

  10. Kind of wish they’d relax on the Religion part and focus on the Peace part though, Mr. Bingley.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 15 at 09:50 AM • permalink

  11. #9, Murph,

    I believe Jacques Bouvier’s comment say’s it all,

    “Only by being a better target could an International Force reduce Hamas-Fatah violence. Without foreigners to target, they attack each other.”

    Thanks for the link.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 09:59 AM • permalink

  12. #11

    As a mate of mine said to me today:

    “What do you expect from these uncivilised tribal societies?  I had to laugh it was only a matter of time before a democratically voted terrorist government was going to go pear shaped.”

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 15 at 10:03 AM • permalink

  13. #12,

    spot on, Murph.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 10:05 AM • permalink

  14. Being a Palestinian Fatah is the New Black.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 10:11 AM • permalink

  15. I’m sorry but I can’t stop gloating.  Is this wrong?

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 15 at 10:18 AM • permalink

  16. #15,

    nah Murph,

    sounds like Christmas has come early this year.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 10:26 AM • permalink

  17. #8 TRJS - “pieces”.

    (Laughs a Beavis laugh)

    Posted by Tex Lovera on 2007 06 15 at 10:44 AM • permalink

  18. I particularly liked this comment:-

    Added: Friday, 15 June, 2007, 12:07 GMT 13:07 UK

    No,no,no. Please tell all non-Palastineans, specially, Blair and Bush to stay away.

    Saeed Mahmoodian, M.D., Fishersville, VA USA

    The US medical system must be getting desperate; what with having to hire 13 year old retards.

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 15 at 10:44 AM • permalink

  19. #18: Well, now, it’s easy for ol’ Doc Mahmoodian to say, “Keep Out of Palestine”, all safe and snug as he is in Fishersville, VA. And it ain’t bad advice, maybe, since the presence of Infidel troops would only give the locals somebody else to shoot at. But one suspects that the good doctor is actually under the illusion that the Palestinians can sort this out by themselves. Or possibly, like others, he’s nurturing the secret hope that first Gaza, and then other parts of Palestine, will become not only radicalized, but unified under one group, all the better to carry out the struggle against Israel. The only thing I take away from the situation is that the Palestinians are not only not suited for self-government, but possibly not governable at all.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 10:54 AM • permalink

  20. Now all we need to do is to splinter Hamas so they’ll fight amongst themselves.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 06 15 at 10:58 AM • permalink

  21. #20, just wait 5 minutes.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 06 15 at 11:20 AM • permalink

  22. I have to agree with Dr. Mahmoodian.  I think Israel should just wall the place off until the gunfire stops.  If anybody is left alive, well and good.  If not, it’s not like the whole world didn’t try and save the Palestinians from themselves.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 15 at 12:01 PM • permalink

  23. Our intelligence agencies (and I imagine the State Department as well) are surprised that savages are behaving like savages.  Again, they’re surprised.  Don’t you feel safer now?

    Leave them to themselves.  Why make targets of our side?  For what purpose?  Let them kill each other until they are sated.  Then go in and make targets of whoever is left.  I’m sick to death of these people and their cult of death and destruction.  If the civilized among them haven’t gotten out by now, then it’s just too damn bad.  No one has put them where they are now but themselves.  For once, let them suffer the consequences; they’ve certainly made sure everybody else has had to do so.  If we really give a damn about the children, we’ll put an end to this crap once and for all.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 06 15 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  24. On Thursday night, as their sketchy perimeters crumbled, the few Fatah gunmen still bearing arms knew they were fighting alone.

    *Sniff*

    My heart just bleeeeds.

    I’ll try to locate my nano-violin just for them.

    Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2007 06 15 at 12:49 PM • permalink

  25. My only worry is creating an evolutionary environment in which they learn to actually hit what they are shooting at in a non-random manner. Though, after watching the “You Suck” video yesterday, I guess the difference between being a “good” shot and a poor shot over there is a bit different than the local range.

    Posted by brett_l on 2007 06 15 at 01:01 PM • permalink

  26. #9 Murph

    So many people with broken sympathy meters!

    Tee Hee!  Most recommended is a hoot, as always.  Looks like people are seeing through the bullshit broadcasting corps bias.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 06 15 at 01:03 PM • permalink

  27. #26 Rob

    And yet, there’s bitching about “pro-Israel spam” filling up the comment thread.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 15 at 01:52 PM • permalink

  28. Welcome to the Internecine Exchange.

    We are a duty free port with no sales tax and free shipping.

    Make sure you have our updated catalogue as we are now featuring specials on “displacements”.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 15 at 01:57 PM • permalink

  29. Some great stories and links from Gateway Pundit on the Gaza melt-down. Of course, you know who’s fault it is, don’t you?

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  30. #28: “Whose” fault, rather. Preview is my neglected friend.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 02:24 PM • permalink

  31. #30: My reference was actually to my own #29. Sorry, folks, but I turned 52 yesterday and my brain obviously decided that it didn’t want to wait another 13 years to retire (maybe it has its own annuity).

    So, Fatah controls the West Bank, and Hamas controls the Gaza strip. I’m not sure how many more splinters (political splinters) Palestine can sustain.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 02:46 PM • permalink

  32. Happy Birthday Paco!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 15 at 02:48 PM • permalink

  33. Let me know when we pass the next grim milestone in Gaza.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 06 15 at 02:56 PM • permalink

  34. #14
    Being a Palestinian Fatah is the New Black

    Still laughing over that comment!
    and happy belated birthday, pacl

    Posted by missred on 2007 06 15 at 02:58 PM • permalink

  35. paco, too.  (shaking my head again..must use preview first)

    Posted by missred on 2007 06 15 at 02:58 PM • permalink

  36. From the SMH link in Tim’s update:

    Many factors led to this week’s short but brutal bout of warfare in Gaza, among them an old-fashioned blood feud.

    BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    The Silly Mundane Harpies are in a real conumdrum, aren’t they?  They have to choose between “civil war” and “blood feud”.  One demonstrates incompetence in running a country, and the other a tribal mindset at odds with running a country.  A choice of bad or worse….and to me, “blood feud” is worse, as “civil war” would demonstrate how wrong most of the world has been about the Palis…...but “blood feud” demonstrates barbarism, pure and simple.

    Those Palestinians, so inconveniently killing each other, that the MSM has to spin a cold blooded murder into a heroic death.

    Must be a bitch, not being able to directly blame Israel, hmmmmmmm?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 15 at 03:04 PM • permalink

  37. Why does this all feel like it should be made into a musical; something like “West Bank Story”?

    Instead of gangs called “Jets” and “Sharks”, we’d have “Bombs” and “Sparks”.

    And we could hear a song from a guy who “Just Met a Girl named Sharia”, played by Natalie Wood wearing a lovely Semtex belt.

    Posted by Tex Lovera on 2007 06 15 at 03:53 PM • permalink

  38. #37 Tex: Wonderful idea. You’ll excuse me, though, if I don’t come to the premier. I’d rather see the initial hostile attitude of CAIR et al “blow over” (so to speak) before attending, myself.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 04:20 PM • permalink

  39. “i’m just a product of my environment, Mullah Krupke.”

    Posted by dub kitty on 2007 06 15 at 04:31 PM • permalink

  40. This may be the precursor for the next “reformation” of islam.

    There’ll be the Hamasians and the Fatahites.

    In this new schism in the muslim world, the Hamasians will be those who demand weapons from the evil west in order to kill their enemy (including those of the evil west) while wearing turbans and robes. The Fatahites will be known as those that demand weapons from the evil west in order to kill their enemy (including those of the evil west)while wearing track suits and fashionable sunglasses.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 06 15 at 04:41 PM • permalink

  41. Well, well, well…I’d like to introduce to you, the 52 year old Detective Paco.

    Happy Belated Birthday, gumshoe.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 04:41 PM • permalink

  42. Where is 1.618…we need a Birthday cake.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 04:43 PM • permalink

  43. Thanks for the birthday wishes. I have always been inordinately proud of having been born on Flag Day.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 04:50 PM • permalink

  44. Well done, good sir Paco! You did pick a good day to come out and play.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 06 15 at 04:59 PM • permalink

  45. #31 - Happy Birthday, Detective Paco! My Chief’s birthday is Flag Day, too, but he’s a year younger than you (7 months younger than me). Hope yours was as good as his was & you got something to make you smile.

    Posted by KC on 2007 06 15 at 05:04 PM • permalink

  46. Paco and the rest of the Blair’ites…

    Recommended as…‘the Austin Powers of the Blogosphere’ Jules Crittenden’


    Theo Spark

    Just keep scrolling…;).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 05:38 PM • permalink

  47. This, is why Jules “crowned” him. Well and several other things, too.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 05:49 PM • permalink

  48. #45: My birthday was practically flawless; only marred by an episode in which my son’s pet lizard, which had been constipated for a week, pooped in my lap. Otherwise, great.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 05:59 PM • permalink

  49. 48

    Nice gift.

    Assumption is that the lizard, does not belong to Marine One Paco?

    Spesking of which…How is Marine One Paco, doing?

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 06:24 PM • permalink

  50. Do not eat, ice cream and try to type, at the same time…S-p-e-a-k-i-n-g.

    Excuse two. It’s Slavic.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 06:26 PM • permalink

  51. Well.
    What more to be said?

    they are both stupid for fighting each other, but i am with hamas…

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 15 at 06:31 PM • permalink

  52. #18 #19. Absolutely, let’s keep our guys out of the PA. And while we’re at it, let’s keep out of
    Darfur, Too.

    Oh, and someone asked about Keysar.

    Where is he? Well, he’s either somewhere in context, or else he’s rereading his liveblogging efforts.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 15 at 06:42 PM • permalink

  53. Happy birthday, Paco.

    I guess this means that you aren’t one of those virgos destined to rule the world, then.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 15 at 06:52 PM • permalink

  54. #52
    Keysar blogging.
    You know he really says nothing in his comments about comments.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 15 at 07:06 PM • permalink

  55. Scanner success!!!

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 15 at 07:07 PM • permalink

  56. 55

    For your success, Lady kae

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 07:11 PM • permalink

  57. maybe they should come with health warnings.

    Normally you’d only have to worry about gag reflex.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 06 15 at 07:32 PM • permalink

  58. Happy birthday, Paco!  Even if it is a day late.  Did Sheila bake you a cake?  Or jump out of one?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 15 at 07:35 PM • permalink

  59. I’m sure Monty Python predicted this situation in The Life Of Brian where the ‘Judean Peoples Front’ are the sworn enemies of the ‘Peoples Front Of Judea’.

    Posted by Skip on 2007 06 15 at 07:39 PM • permalink

  60. OT Good article here by Michael Duffy about the left and the Howard tyranny.

    Also, the first ever quote-worthy item from Traceee Hutchinson (can’t be arsed linking):

    Now that Left is a nomenclature for the Devil and its disciples are evil-doing fascists.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 06 15 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  61. RebeccaH

    Oooooooo, good one…:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 07:43 PM • permalink

  62. Rebecca

    Be very careful…I can just see Detective Paco tramping or tromping around Ohio…lol.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 07:46 PM • permalink

  63. Happy belated birthday Paco san,

    The next bird I rescue will be named for you.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 07:50 PM • permalink

  64. Pogria

    That really is sweet.

    ummmm, actually I have had many birds named after me, just not the typical fyling kind. BUT, as they say, you should see, the other guy.
    And after my posts, you can see why, those birds were named in my honor.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:00 PM • permalink

  65. #48 Paco, if it should become a problem again, a 10- to 15-minute daily bath in warm water should help to loosen your lizard.  But do check with the local vet first.  Lizards can suffer intestinal impaction if they eat indigestible stuff such as their cage litter (sawdust, sand, etc.)

    Posted by Mary in LA on 2007 06 15 at 08:01 PM • permalink

  66. nor, the typical flying kind

    Honest to Christ>

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:02 PM • permalink

  67. Happy birthday Paco.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 15 at 08:03 PM • permalink

  68. Pull out of Iraq and watch those cavemen slaughter each other.  Global warming! we have a Pox called Islam slowly slithering into every facet of this beautiful planet.  Let the fuckers kill each other.

    Posted by Howzat on 2007 06 15 at 08:04 PM • permalink

  69. Paco, please read Mary in LA’s post #65.

    You can’t go around trying to kill, your lizard. Hell man, you are ONLY 52.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  70. #64,+ #66,

    El Cid,

    do I surmise that you have green eyes? :)

    whoa, that rhymes!!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 08:07 PM • permalink

  71. Lovely rhyming, Pogria

    And yes, I have dark brown eyes…oh wait, you said…:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:14 PM • permalink

  72. Great!  Both lizards and palestinians suffer from intestinal impact issues - probably from ingesting too much sand!  Perhaps we candrownsoak palestinans - after checking with the vets first.

    Posted by missred on 2007 06 15 at 08:16 PM • permalink

  73. oops - make that palestinians

    Posted by missred on 2007 06 15 at 08:17 PM • permalink

  74. Yes…‘tis Friday evening here and I should be out drinking and dancing…BUT I have the Vodka, Gin and Agave juice here and the Mrs. doesn’t dance.

    Well that and I have early T times, tomorrow and Sunday, There’s is nothing that brings more terror to other golfers, then a hungover golfer on the T’s.

    And the course does NOT provide, hard hats.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:22 PM • permalink

  75. Well HI, missred. How art thou, this evening?

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  76. Good evening, el cid.  I am wonderful, thank you, and yourself?

    Posted by missred on 2007 06 15 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  77. Just peachy, missred

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:27 PM • permalink

  78. #74,

    Lucky you’re not over here then. It’s ten thirty on a Saturday morning and I think I just saw Noah float by.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 08:29 PM • permalink

  79. OH. The course does NOT provide cups, either.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:30 PM • permalink

  80. #72,
    missred,

    whichever way you spell it, the outcome is guaranteed to be the same. :)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 08:31 PM • permalink

  81. Noah…as in Webster…composed a dictionary. I believe.

    Why would he float by…OH THAT Noah…:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:36 PM • permalink

  82. #79,

    No cups!! where do you put your balls?? ;)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  83. true, pogria, true ;)

    Posted by missred on 2007 06 15 at 08:44 PM • permalink

  84. 82

    No cups!! where do you put your balls?? ;)

    On a TEE for all to SEE…Gosh, that ryhmes.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 08:45 PM • permalink

  85. Further notes on lizard-bathing:  Make sure to bathe him in a warm room, and don’t let the poor scaly dear get chilled.  Make sure he’s dry before putting him back in his cage, which shouldn’t be in a draft.  And don’t feed him right before he takes his bath.  (At the age of 8 or so I accidentally killed a pet alligator lizard by breaking these rules.  Poor ol’ Oscar…)

    We had lots of reptiles and caged critters when I was growing up.  Many were “rescues”.  I have vivid childhood memories of bathing a 6-foot (~2 metres or so) indigo snake.  Our Indy had acquired mites during his tenure as a class pet and had to be bathed regularly to drown them.  Picture, if you will, the three of us—mother, sister and me—kneeling in a row at the side of a bathtub, trying to submerge 6 feet of wildly thrashing snake in a tub of water!  The mite cure was successful, though.  I could tell you many tales of Indy… he was a character…  Ow! [gets bopped on the head by the On-Topic Fairy]

    Posted by Mary in LA on 2007 06 15 at 08:54 PM • permalink

  86. So they want to send in a “multi-national force?”

    I say the yanks chip in some B-52’s, we throw in some F-111’s, the poms can contribute with Tornados and anyone else that has something that can fly and drop a bomb can join in too.  I’ll even hire a Cesna and fly around chucking out flour bombs if it will help.

    Line them up wingtip to wingtip and stop pickling when you get to the seaside.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 06 15 at 09:07 PM • permalink

  87. Mary in LA

    Obviously, you are a reptilian specialist or vet.

    Of course, you could also be a Primitive Baptist…:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  88. #85,
    Mary in La,

    blame Paco, he’s the one that started the thread deviation with his lizard crap-on-lap stories. :)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 09:12 PM • permalink

  89. Pogria


    Now, that was a gift

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 09:20 PM • permalink

  90. El Cid,

    I’m here ‘til Thursday, try the veal!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 09:28 PM • permalink

  91. LOL…well what are the side dishes?

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 09:33 PM • permalink

  92. Potatoes au Gratin, lightly sprinkled with crispy-fried, organic lizard crap. :)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 09:36 PM • permalink

  93. #85 Mary: That’s exactly what the vet told us. The warm baths may be helping a little. Lucille (formerly “Omar” until we found out the “he” was actually a “she”) doesn’t eat much, but is normal weight and fairly active (she’s a bearded dragon, incidentally). Very docile, and cute, for a reptile. I think she got used to eating mush from a syringe (back when she wasn’t eating on her own, at all), and she may eat a cricket if you drop it right in front of her, and it happens to be dead, but she won’t chase ‘em anymore. Paco, Jr. talked about taking her out to California for his desert training, but Mrs. Paco has gotten so attached to her, she’s sort of become hers.

    Thanks, again, for the birthday wishes. Old Mother Paco sent me a box of my favorite cigars (Hoyo de Monterrey Excaliburs). Think I’ll go enjoy one now.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 09:40 PM • permalink

  94. Oh, and Pogria: that would be very kind of you to name a bird after me. You’ll have to let me know what kind it is.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 09:42 PM • permalink

  95. #56
    Thanks El Cid!

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 15 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  96. Potatoes au Gratin, lightly sprinkled with crispy-fried, organic lizard crap.

    :)

    Ummm, on second thought…my name is Margos Maid….:)

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 09:46 PM • permalink

  97. #94, will do Paco,

    BTW, it’s nice to know you have a bona fide aussie living in your house.

    My property is home to heaps of bearded dragons.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 09:47 PM • permalink

  98. welcome, kae

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 09:49 PM • permalink

  99. El Cid, at least it’s Aussie lizard crap.

    Can’t you detect the scent of Eucalyptus?

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 09:52 PM • permalink

  100. Can’t you detect the scent of Eucalyptus?

    I can’t even spell that…LOL

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 09:59 PM • permalink

  101. For those of you unfamiliar with Bearded Dragons.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 10:03 PM • permalink

  102. Damn, a GEICO commercial

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 10:05 PM • permalink

  103. #102,

    huh?

    BTW, check out the beardie eating a mouse. Gruesome!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 10:16 PM • permalink

  104. Happy birthday paco.  You old dog.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 06 15 at 10:23 PM • permalink

  105. Pogria

    In the U.S., GEICO Insurance uses a little fellow that looks very similar to what I did see, in the You Tube, as their spokesperson (and it has an Aussie voice)....it’s a play on the lizard known as Gecko. We actually may be speaking (OK typing) of the same little creature.

    Very cute commercials.

    I believe I shall pass on the mouse eating, not that there’s anything wrong with that….thank you.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 10:25 PM • permalink

  106. Bedouins acting as animals…but it may come down soon...as per Charles Johnson.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 10:34 PM • permalink

  107. Goodnight all…OH and FORE!

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 15 at 10:37 PM • permalink

  108. Happy belated birthday, paco!

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 15 at 10:54 PM • permalink

  109. Night El Cid,

    Keep those fingers nimble!;)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 15 at 10:59 PM • permalink

  110. It was only 8 o’clock, but it had been a long day. It was also my birthday, and I celebrated it with the same wild abandon that I celebrated every other day: I had the blueplate special down at Mike’s diner, went back to my apartment, read through the baseball scores in the paper and poured myself a closer. I was about to turn in when the doorbell rang.

    I dragged myself over to the door, opened it, and was stunned to find Sheila standing there. How she managed to stay so pretty and fresh after eight hours of work was one mystery I had never gotten around to solving. She was holding a box and gave me a shy smile.

    “Happy Birthday, Paco! I had wanted to bring the cake by the office this afternoon, but that fool of a baker lost the order and it wasn’t ready until this evening.” A puzzled look came over her face. “Paco, don’t you ever take your suit off?”

    I gave her a seductive grin and said, “Well, I loosen my tie every now and then baby.”

    “Well, be careful. Lord knows we wouldn’t want you to hang yourself with it.”

    That last line was delivered by a short little woman who nudged Sheila aside, marched into my living room and planted herself squarely in the middle of the couch. I suppressed a disappointed sigh. “Good evening, Mrs. O’Doherty”. I muttered under my breath to Sheila, “What, she’s got a tandem broom, now?”

    Sheila whispered,“Please don’t start with her Paco. Mom means well; she’s just, you know, a little protective”.

    With that kind of protection, Al Capone might have held off the feds indefinitely. Mrs. O’ Doherty sat on the edge of the couch, ramrod straight, looking for all the world as if she were trying to avoid catching some kind of contagious disease. She wore a ridiculously old-fashioned straw hat with some kind of unidentifiable plastic fruit attached to the crown - crab apples was my guess.

    Sheila gave me a helpless shrug and walked in, sitting down next to her mother.

    “We can only stay a minute, Paco. We’re actually on the way to the hospital to pick up pop.”

    “What happened to him?”

    Mrs. O’Doherty piped up, “He found out that some hooligan at the plant had made a pass at Sheila, so he clopped him one on the jaw with a right cross and broke his pinky.” Her eyes narrowed to mere slits as she continued glaring at me. “Meanwhile, he’s still got a pretty good left jab.”

    Was it getting hot in here, or was it just me? “Can I offer you ladies something to drink?”

    “Well”, croaked Sheila’s mother, “I might have taken a glass of water, but this building is so old I’d probably get lead poison.” She wrinkled her nose and glanced disdainfully around the apartment; she might have been a church organist who had found herself suddenly and unaccountably in an opium den. “Anyway, we’d best be going.”

    “Mom! We’ve got to have a piece of cake with Paco, and sing him happy birthday.”

    Mrs. O’Doherty pursed her lips. “All right then. Did you bring any candles? Although I’m sure Paco must have some; the lights in old buildings like this are probably always going out.”

    “No, Mom, there’s a candle already on the cake.”

    We went into the kitchen, where Sheila took the cake out of the box and lit the one candle in the center. The words on the cake read, “Happy Birthday to the World’s Best Boss!”. Mrs. O’Doherty snorted, almost blowing out the candle, herself.

    Sheila said, “Make a wish, Paco”.

    I stared at Mrs. O’Doherty. Without taking my eyes off her, I blew out the candle.

    She was still there. “Well, that didn’t work.”

    Mrs. O’Doherty drew herself up to her full height, her crab apples just about level with the knot in my tie.

    “You’re a pretty funny fellow, aren’t you, detective? Well, it’s your birthday, so I’ll say no more.”

    We each had a piece of cake (Mrs. O eating off of her hand, rather than take a chance of getting typhoid from one of my plates). Sheila murmured that they really ought to go; pop was waiting at the hospital.

    “Well, this has been a nice surprise, ladies. Come again.”

    “Oh, ‘we’ will, detective - if Sheila gets another notion to spend a portion of her paltry salary on food for her boss.” She tossed her head, and marched out of the door. Sheila turned quickly and gave me a peck on the cheek. “Happy birthday, Paco. Sorry about Mom. she’s just . . .”

    ” ‘A little protective’, yeah, I know.”

    “Come on, Sheila. We’d better get to the car as quickly as possible. In this part of town, it’s probably already crawling with thieves.”

    God help ‘em, I thought.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 15 at 11:03 PM • permalink

  111. Death to Hamas! (and Fatah east-side beardless faction!!!)


    * Onya Paco, and belated birthday wishes.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 06 15 at 11:52 PM • permalink

  112. Excellent birthday Paco.

    Sheila isn’t my long lost sister is she? Her mother sounds just like mine.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 16 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  113. Birthday story.

    It’s too early in the morning for this typing business… What’s that? 3 pm?

    Shhh… it’s a good excuse!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 16 at 01:05 AM • permalink

  114. Hmmmmmm.  Isn’t June 14 Bastille Day, too?  Did paco and wronwright have anything, anything *at all* to do with that?

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 06 16 at 01:14 AM • permalink

  115. Birthday greetings to you Paco! And may you have many many more. :)

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 06 16 at 02:18 AM • permalink

  116. slightly OT but relevant…from Amil Imani’s comments on Islam:
    “The Quran was perhaps appropriate for a different people of a bygone era—a people of stunted development, a people who preferred to blindly follow someone than to think for themselves, to hate than love, and to seek and inflict death than to nurture and celebrate life.”

    Perfect summary of the Hamas and Fatah people…and their sympathisers, Muslims and non-Muslim.

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 06 16 at 03:05 AM • permalink


  117. Many happy returns Paco. Don’t go scaring us no more. Stay near here now, you hear?

    Posted by geoff on 2007 06 16 at 08:48 AM • permalink

  118. #110, crab apples!  Hah!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 16 at 11:49 AM • permalink

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