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QUOTE MACHINE HITS IOWA
John Kerry—the face, and particularly the chin, of American defiance—continues his defence-of-dissent US tour:
Sen. John Kerry plans to speak at Grinnell College at 1:30 p.m. Saturday. Kerry said he plans to talk about the war in Iraq and what he calls the attack on dissenters at home.
And he’s bringing a whole bunch of powerful new quotes:
“War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothin’. Say it again!”—Thomas Jefferson
“Steal this book.”—Theodore Roosevelt
“Hugs!”—Abraham Lincoln
Even Ellen Goodman—a six-time Kerry voter, which should qualify her for a disability pension—no longer wants the Boston Marrier to report for duty:
All of this leads me to blurt out: “Stop Him Before He Kills (the Democrats’ Chances) Again.”
UPDATE. Howard Dean:
“I was recently asked about the difference between the Democratic and Republican parties,” Dean said. “When it comes right down to it, the essential difference is that the Democrats fundamentally believe it is important to make sure that American Jews feel comfortable being American Jews.”
This might be the most clueless and bizarre line in the history of US politics.
‘Our goal with reference to Iraq is regime change. Preferably in concert with other nations, but by ourselves if necessary’ - Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) 1998.
note: this is a paraphrasing of what was said. I can’t access the Congressional Record from work, and it isn’tseared, I say seared into my memory
“The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.”—George Orwell
I would have attributed that to Representative Murtha, but I decided to point out that the left clearly takes Orwell at his word.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 05 04 at 01:38 PM • permalinkAnd while I was digging up suitable quotes, I re-discovered this classic:
Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.
Sir Winston Churchill
Spoken from someone who has been there and done that. Unlike Senator John “Christmas in Cambodia” Kerry.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 05 04 at 01:41 PM • permalinkMoney quote from Ellen Goodman: “He couldn’t do ‘ideas’ the first time. He wouldn’t do them the second time. It’s just not in him.”
And there is this interesting quote from an Ohio voter who apparently is suffering from cataracts: “This guy just looks presidential.” Well, perhaps that isn’t really fair; Monsieur Kerry could easily pass as President of the French Republic; recall the grave sneer, as if he had once been offered a plate of escargot smothered in ketchup and had never gotten over the experience. Recollect the lovingly-tended coiffure, so like an enormous truffle hollowed out and worn as a cap (a liberty cap, as it were). Say what you will, his whole Euopean-style bearing has, as we say in North Carolina, a certain je ne say what? about it.
What is Dean talking about? He is the one that wants to feed them to the Arabs!
Pretty chipper post. I like the sarcasm. ;)
Posted by Capitalist Rosie on 2006 05 04 at 01:59 PM • permalink“Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!”—Aaron Burr.
Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 05 04 at 02:17 PM • permalink“War is not healthy for children and other living things”—Julius Ceasar
Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 05 04 at 02:20 PM • permalink“I disappoint everyone, eventually.”
—James LileksOk, I realize this one is disqualified as a real quote, but it just seems so right in this context. Not fake but accurate.
Posted by tim maguire on 2006 05 04 at 02:28 PM • permalinkAlways go to the bathroom when you have a chance. King George V
Ummm this gem comes from
John Kerryno really, from…
FamousQuotations“When it comes right down to it, the essential difference is that the Democrats fundamentally believe it is important to make sure that American Jews feel comfortable being American Jews.”
According to Paco’s Patented Dean Translation Device (“The Dean-O-Lator”), this comment could mean one of two things:
1) A conscious statement to the effect that American Jews should stop all this silly nonsense about being concerned over the fate of Israel (i.e., they should be Big “A” Americans and little “j” jews), in return for which they can assume their rightful place in the Democratic Party, or
2) Dean’s larynx has developed its own proto-brain, similar to the bundle of nerves that helped to govern the motion of the Stegosaurus’s hindquarters, but it is capable of stimulating only incoherent phrases.
I’m sorry I can’t definitively eliminate one of the possibilities, but the faculty of Tim’s Comment Academy is obviously free to discuss this issue and draw its own conclusion.
“Back off, Boogaloo!”
—Capt. John Paul JonesPosted by Monroe Doctrine on 2006 05 04 at 02:48 PM • permalink“Life is like a box of chocolates” - Kurt Cobain
Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2006 05 04 at 03:15 PM • permalink“If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.”
—Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 05 04 at 04:12 PM • permalinkOh, and this little gem:
“We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.”
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign ministerPosted by MentalFloss on 2006 05 04 at 04:13 PM • permalink...and my personal favourite:
“You can’t just let nature run wild.”
—Wally Hickel, former governor of AlaskaPosted by MentalFloss on 2006 05 04 at 04:15 PM • permalinkIowa, isn’t it? Grinnell College is in Iowa. Or is there some deliberate irony I’m missing? I have an irony deficiency.
Posted by Bud Norton on 2006 05 04 at 04:16 PM • permalink“I was recently asked about the difference between the Democratic and Republican parties,” Dean said. “When it comes right down to it, the essential difference is that the Democrats fundamentally believe it is important to make sure that American Jews feel comfortable being American Jews.”
Maybe Howie should ask his wife…Long Island-born physician Judith Steinberg.
Another quote from Howie “But I’ve never had people open their hearts to me more than when they discover that my wife is Jewish and I’m from New York. They look at you completely differently. It’s flabbergasting.”
I’m sure it is, Howie, I’m sure it is…fool.
“Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger”
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 05 04 at 04:39 PM • permalink“Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.” - Terry Pratchett.
all of the above, courtesy of
Said What? U.K.“Don’t you smile at me like that. That’s not even a real smile- just a bunch of teeth playing with my mind!”—Face, from The A Team
—Nora
Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2006 05 04 at 04:43 PM • permalink“I was recently asked about the difference between the Democratic and Republican parties,” Dean said. “When it comes right down to it, the essential difference is that the Democrats fundamentally believe it is important to make sure that American Jews feel comfortable being American Jews.”
Interesting. Let’s rewrite this qoute just a little.
“I was recently asked about the difference between the Democratic and Republican parties,” Dean said. “When it comes right down to it, the essential difference is that the Democrats fundamentally believe it is important to make sure that African-Americans feel comfortable being African-Americans.”
Racist, or just patronizing?
A third possibility: just stupid!
Note that Dean merely says that “the Democrats fundamentally believe it is important to make sure that American Jews feel comfortable being American Jews”, not that they actually intend to do anything toward that goal. I think we could all name a dozen more things that the Dems claim to consider very important without actually doing jackshit about them, so this is about par for the course. All talk, no walk, as usual.
``Iowa, isn’t it? Grinnell College is in Iowa.’‘
It sure is, and I ‘m surprised Sonetka hasn’t chimed in by now; it’s her alma mater.
(Actually it’s a very good school, if you stick to real subjects like foreign languages and sciences. But oh, so very politically correct…)
Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 05 04 at 06:13 PM • permalinkI think, to quote Lincoln accurately, it goes:
“War….what is it good fuh….absolutely nuffin’, whoaa, whoaaa, whoaaaa, whoaaaaa…”Posted by pick-your-pun on 2006 05 04 at 07:14 PM • permalink‘Spreads it wide for Sailor’ - Rugby League Commentator Ray ‘rabbits’ Warren.
Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2006 05 04 at 07:28 PM • permalinkHere you’ll find a few quotes worth repeating… Barzani’s speech at Police College graduation ceremony
e.g
“...freedom is indeed not free”
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 05 04 at 07:53 PM • permalinkAnd in other news. From WorldNetDaily.com.
California is just a vote or two away from banning “Mom” and “Dad” from K1-12 textbooks. No sexual orientation allowed.
Senate Bill 1437 is sponsored by Senator Sheila Kuehl who played Zelda on “Dobie Gillis” Fair Dinkum!
“Johnny, your sperm donor is home.”
“Johnny, just wait until your sperm donor gets home.”
Johnny, go ask your sperm recipient questions about that.”B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This shit is bananas - Irving BerlinPosted by Crispytoast on 2006 05 04 at 08:16 PM • permalinkHey!
What about Australian Jews?
Does Flavius Antonius realize he’s been forsaken?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 04 at 08:22 PM • permalinkHoward Dean, in a speech to the American Jewish Committee, said new industries should emerge to develop alternative fuel sources.
He was just putting together whatever popped into his head. Let’s see, Jews ... ``When it comes right down to it, the essential difference is that the Democrats fundamentally believe it is important to make sure that American Jews feel comfortable being American Jews.’‘
This means he couldn’t think of anything. Time ran out. So you get what you got.
It’s called thinking on your feet.
Unfortunately it was recorded
“We have become a nation of mindless rabble incapable of judgment and easily ruled by the illogical notions and faddish devisings of self-appointed social engineers…. Where knowledge and reason fail, the pigs will lurch and waddle on their hind legs, and the other beasts will gawk in admiration and envy.
Richard Mitchell, The Underground Grammarian, Vol. III, No. 3, Mar. 1979.
Huh. Still fits.
Typical Wop, brings a knife to a gun fight. - Churchill to Mussolini
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 05 04 at 08:31 PM • permalinkPersonally I think the Republican Party should borrow this line and make it their platform.
Our goal is to make every man, woman, and child feel comfortable being themselves. You, and you, and yes, even you in the back. Please, be comfortable. Being. Yourselves.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 05 04 at 09:21 PM • permalinkUgh, computer down all day and I come back to find ... oh, dear God ...
Yes indeed, Bud Norton, Grinnell is in Iowa: my husband and I both went there. The entire campus is probably climaxing at this moment at the thought of The Great Kerry actually treading their turf. Wonder how much of the endowment they had to fork over to him in order to have him condescend to visit a 12,000 person town in the sticks.
Tim, if you want, I’ll send you the article about it from the next alumni magazine I get. It’s sure to be entertaining.
Did Howard Dean mean that the Democrats need to expand their reach to American Jews who drive pickups and have a stars and bars stickers on the bumpers? A snuff tin in the pocket would be the trifecta.
Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 05 04 at 09:39 PM • permalinkIf the Democrats wanted to make American Jews feel comfortable about being Jews here would antisemitic rabble rouser Al Sharpton be a king-maker in New York and national, Democratic politics? Would antisemite Cynthia McKinney be a respected member of the party?
When David Duke ran for governor of Louisiana after winning a GOP primary the national GOP expelled him and the state GOP encouraged people to vote for the Democrat (that was where the phrase “Vote for the crook, not the fascist” originated, later to be used in the 2002 French Presidential election).
When William F. Buckley, Jr. decided that his old friends Joe Sobran and Pat Buchanan were either antisemites or couldn’t be bothered to differentiate themselves from the antisemites, he banned them from writing for National Review and virtually ran them out of the conservative movement, which is what he had done in the late 1950s to the antisemitic cranks infesting the nascent movement too. When are the liberals going to get around to doing the same?
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 05 04 at 11:28 PM • permalinkThis gem fell from the lips of Bomber Beazley at the National Press Club during the week:
“I will lead the Australian Labor Party to victory at the next election.”
With due respect to all previous contributors, nothing made me laugh harder than that.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 05 04 at 11:38 PM • permalink‘This might be the most clueless and bizarre line in the history of US politics.’
Recent history, maybe.
For us older Americans, nothing will ever top Sen. Roman Hruska’s reflection on a criticism that a nominee to the Supreme Court (Carswell, I believe) was mediocre. Quoting from memory: ‘The mediocre people deserve a voice, too.’
They certainly have no reason to complain now.
Posted by Harry Eagar on 2006 05 05 at 12:29 AM • permalinkSlightly O/T but my dad was in Northern Vietnam last week and happened to catch their war/independence day celebrations. The hotel he was in was accross the road from a war museum. John Kerry had his own display!!
All the usual atrocity stories and pics. Just thought it might be nice if he runs for Pres again to send a film crew to the museum for a few “war stories”.
According to dad they even have things like blown up kids in Formeldahide bottles and lots of blown up people pics.
He also grabbed a couple of their “offical” war histories so I will be having fun checking their accounts.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 05 05 at 12:57 AM • permalinkWell, Hruska should have known. And, considering Sens Mikulski, Murray, Stabenow, Boxer and Cantwell, female Senators also believe that the mediocre (and sub-mediocre) women deserve a voice, too.
“Hic!” Any Given Kennedy
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 05 05 at 01:06 AM • permalinkOh. Evidently Goodman has lost her mind, too. I suspect it’s a bad sign when even the deranged turn on you.
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 05 05 at 01:07 AM • permalink“I sleep a little, I drink a lot and I smoke cigar after cigar and that is why I am always in 200% form.”
Winston Churchill
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 05 05 at 01:21 AM • permalink“What’s this big red button do?”- Judith Resnik.
Ellen Goodman is a vapid airhead who struggles and fails to achieve mediocrity. Her columns are devoid of logic and often self-contradicting. That said, this particular column was one of her best, insofar as it wasn’t a complete disaster and showed at least the talent of a good college newspaper writer. But the shallowness of her intellect is still on display, to wit:
“But as many have said, Kerry is a politician who has more policies than ideas.”
...followed by:
“As Michael Tomasky writes in The American Prospect, [Democrats] need a liberal message of the common good that trumps the conservative message - a view that we are in this globalized, post-industrial, post-9/11 world together and must “pull together, make some sacrifices, and, just sometimes, look beyond our own interests to solve our problems and create the future.”
So, Ellen doesn’t want a policy wonk who doesn’t have ideas, but is all in favor of a candidate with ethereal ideas - “pull together”, “look beyond our own interests” - that defy concrete policies for implementation.
Typical liberal - all hot air, no substance.
“Even Ellen Goodman—a six-time Kerry voter, which should qualify her for a disability pension”....LOL
If someone claims DSP (Disability Support Pension) and their affliction or illness is so obvious no CMO (Commonwealth Medical Officer) examination is required, their condition is considered to be, in Centrelink speak, “manifest” and DSP is granted virtually straight away.
Ellen Goodmans claim would be “manifest”.
“The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical.”
(Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother.”
(Greg Norman)“And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.”
(David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 05 05 at 04:14 AM • permalink“Watch out for the what? Why would I be scared of a little worm?”
—Rachel CorriePosted by Monroe Doctrine on 2006 05 05 at 10:34 AM • permalinkAnd then we’re going to Jerusalem! To take back the Temple! YEEAAGGHH!
Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 05 05 at 10:35 AM • permalink#67 Dave S.:
Isn’t it a pretty established phenomenon that “unnamed Democratic Party candidate” tends to do better in pre-Presidential polls than actual Democratic Party candidates? I suspect the “look beyond our own interests” namby-pamby nonsense is what liberals project onto those unnamed Democrats. Tough cookies that the actual Democrats still need to do politics in the real world.
[Dean] also said any confrontation with Iran should be handled in a better way than the one with Iraq.
We breathlessly await your and your party’s ideas, HoHo.
#26—“We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.”
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign ministerPrecisely what leftists wish to accomplish the world over.
Sometime they’ll give a war and nobody will come. —Genghis (or Djenn-jus, if you’re John Kerry) Khan at the Battle of Kalka River (Who really said this? No, not some 60s hippie.)
Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.—Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 05 05 at 03:43 PM • permalink``Sometime they’ll give a war and nobody will come. ...(Who really said this? No, not some 60s hippie.)’‘
It’s the opening of a poem by Bertholt Brecht. The first line is well-known, the second, not so well known:
``What if they gave a war and nobody came?
Why then the war will come to you!’‘Or as Aragorn says in the movie version of The Two Towers, ``Open war is upon you whether you risk it or not.’’
Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 05 05 at 03:49 PM • permalink#47—Yojimbo—I think WND must be wrong. Here’s the amended bill as passed by Committee. From an AP report:
A Senate committee approved a bill Wednesday that would require California’s textbooks to include the contributions of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people to the state and nation’s history.
Please, the bill is bad enough as written. If the bill becomes law, it will be interesting to see how many GLBT’s have been left out of the history books due to their sexual orientation. But then, I don’t think that’s the point. Kuehl wants GLBT’s to be indentified as such so that GLBT students will have positive role models. So, I suppose future texts will say things like: George Washington, Father of our country and someone who took his sex straight as far as we know…
Sheila James Kuehl also played the younger daughter, Jackie, on The Stu Erwin Show. Kuehl once admitted that she used her status as a TV star to seduce young girls.
At one time, Canada was considering outlawing the use of “traditional” terms like “mother” and “father”. Guess it didn’t happen.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 05 05 at 04:19 PM • permalinkSonetka’s Mom—Interesting the Brecht poem, but my quote is Carl Sandburg from his book-length The People, Yes.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 05 05 at 04:42 PM • permalink
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“We should never employ US forces without the mandate of the UN”- Pres. Bill Clinton, just before he ordered the bombing of Kosovo and the insertion of US forces