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PSYCHO QUILLER
From the nation that brought you rapist wombats:
A man in New Zealand has been charged with using a hedgehog as a weapon, the New Zealand Herald has reported.
Police said William Singalargh, 27, had hurled the hedgehog about 5m (16ft) at a 15-year-old boy.
From memory, I think that’s just short of the North Island record.
They’ve got an animal for everything in NZ.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 04 08 at 08:38 PM • permalinkI will admit that as a weapon, the aerodynamic hedgehog has its advantages over the overly clingy echidna, but in my experience, you only have to show the average NZer the poisonous spurs of the platypus, and they will put down their Erinaceinae and leave you in peace.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2008 04 08 at 08:58 PM • permalinkPolice found the man at the nearby emergency ward, after the problem with the hedgehog shoulder holster had become apparent…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 04 08 at 09:20 PM • permalinkOf course, in mountainous terrain, a wombat dropped on the enemy from a height can have devastating and morale-sapping effect on their campaign. However the real challenge is finding the wombat herders with alpine experience.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2008 04 08 at 09:22 PM • permalinkNew Zealand has hedgehogs? Surely they’re not native fauna?
Did some homesick British colonist bring a mating pair to the Antipodes?
Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2008 04 08 at 09:24 PM • permalinkSurely the most fearsome creature to attack someone else with is the Tasmanian Devil.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 08 at 09:56 PM • permalink#12 The old Tassie Devil in the sleeping bag trick is considered by many to be the ultimate act of marsupial-assisted-terrorism.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2008 04 08 at 10:06 PM • permalinkI can’t believe spiny norman hasn’t commented yet.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 04 08 at 10:28 PM • permalinkI guess it’s better than being hit over the head with a NZ sex toy.
Which would be baa-aad.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 08 at 11:31 PM • permalinkIf the hedgehog throwing has anything to do with the Olympics, shouldn’t someone set it on fire and then put it out a few times?
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 08 at 11:53 PM • permalinkWould this be another Quiller Memorandum?
Posted by Ted Schuerzinger on 2008 04 09 at 12:01 AM • permalinkI just wish to say for the record that I had nothing to do with this incident, nor have I ever met a “Mr William Singalargh”.
No, really. I have an alibi, I swear!
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 04 09 at 12:23 AM • permalinkLuckily for the child, John Howard had forbidden the possession of hedgehogs above .38 caliber…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 04 09 at 12:24 AM • permalinkI believe Joel Fitzgibbon has just found the solution to his problem of finding $1bn in defence cuts
Posted by Rachel Corrie's Flatmate on 2008 04 09 at 12:35 AM • permalinkIt’s Good News Week by Hedgehoggers Anonymous
Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 04 09 at 12:39 AM • permalinkIf you strap say a gerbil to the underside of a hedgehog, do you get the equivalent of the M204?
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 09 at 12:53 AM • permalinkStupid laptop keybaord. Should have been M-203.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 09 at 12:54 AM • permalinkBet the hedgehog thrower had a bent elbow.
Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2008 04 09 at 01:08 AM • permalink#31,#32
That would make it a more lethal variant of the wombat gunPosted by Rachel Corrie's Flatmate on 2008 04 09 at 01:23 AM • permalinkPropelling sugar-gliders at an opponent is almost a complete waste of time, unless you have them in large numbers.
A flying numbat however, can seriously take the wind out of an opponent.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2008 04 09 at 02:22 AM • permalink#38,
I believe they are removing the term ‘police’, it sounds too authoritarianPosted by Rachel Corrie's Flatmate on 2008 04 09 at 02:30 AM • permalinkVictorian Positive Reinforcement Facilitators
Posted by Margos Maid on 2008 04 09 at 02:56 AM • permalinkThe Kiwi and Giselle: a Ballad
The Kiwi had a hedgehog
And challenged me to combat;
So I shed my coat to show
Giselle, my sex-starved wombat.The hedgehog-wielding Kiwi
Proved a worthy, well-trained foe;
And when he swung his hedgehog,
It bit off my pinky toe.But then the Kiwi stumbled
And I tossed, as in a dream,
Sweet Giselle upon his lap;
From two throats came one scream.Those who saw could not believe,
Though their reeling minds might dwell,
For… Happily Ever After
Lived the Kiwi and Giselle.First, Rugby players touting handbags, now this. What is it about New Zealand?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 04 09 at 06:04 AM • permalinkAll this talk about wild fauna and not a thread from Bryla.
He must be in training for the 25th.
Running, climbing fences, spraying police with mace, wrestling the US guards protecting the hidden secrets of Pine Gap and writing speeches for court.
I rang the Alice Springs police station and they have never heard of him nor his group. Surprise!!
But they assured me that they have special advisers who keep an eye out for these kinds of people. Surprise!!
Our national security may be a concern.
Oh, pah. Throwing hedgehogs is easy. In Ohio we throw porcupines. Now that’s tough.
(once again, Ohio is shown as the land of a superior sort of bloke)
Posted by wronwright on 2008 04 09 at 08:59 AM • permalinkHmmmm.
Life is Monty Python,
Monty Python is Life,
Now is there any fucking cheese,
in this shop?Posted by memomachine on 2008 04 09 at 11:18 PM • permalinkRC Roommate
That was a ‘Blooper’. This is a ‘Wombat’.Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2008 04 10 at 09:22 PM • permalink"In Ohio we throw porcupines.” In the meatball recipes discussed here, the porcupine variant is not mentioned, which involves the addition of rice to the meat mixture; thus the “Porcupine Meatball”, an Ohio delicacy and sport.
Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2008 04 10 at 09:31 PM • permalink
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