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PREDICTABLE PETE

The Sun-Herald’s Peter FitzSimons delivers (no link available) the predicted backlash against Todd Russell and Brant Webb:

[I hear] from a well-connected publishing source that if the book deal with Todd’n’Brant wasn’t done late last week, it will likely be done early this week. The figures are still spongy but, when the contract is signed, it will likely be just over $500,000, out of which they will have to find the money to get a writer who can turn the manuscript around in eight weeks, so they can capture the Christmas market. If they can’t find that writer—and rest assured it is not this little black duck—it will more likely come out in about April of next year.

FitzSimons wouldn’t demean himself by writing about these guys. Rest assured.

The bloke handling the pair, Sean Andersen, is a good operator, but if I were him I would advise Todd’n’Brant not to wear rock-star dark glasses as they emerge through customs in Los Angeles. Just a thought ...

If I were FitzSimons, I wouldn’t presume to tell two men who survived a mine collapse what sunglasses they might choose to wear at airports. Just a thought.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/06/2006 at 03:22 AM
  1. and I wouldnt presume to remind Peter FitzSimons that he is no better than Todd Russell and Brant Webb and judging by the performance could well take a lesson in humility from them…..memo to PeterF, try to construct a thought or sentence that does not begin or revolve around “I”.

    Posted by rog2 on 2006 06 06 at 03:36 AM • permalink

  2. As far as I’m concerned, those blokes should never have to set foot in a mine again.

    No matter how much they make, good luck to ‘em.

    Posted by Toosmoky on 2006 06 06 at 03:45 AM • permalink

  3. That clown should just stick to commentating on sport…  who allowed it to get into his head that his thoughts and opinions matter to the wider populace???

    Posted by casanova on 2006 06 06 at 03:51 AM • permalink

  4. His wife, who used to be the editor for some chick rag.

    Posted by entropy on 2006 06 06 at 03:53 AM • permalink

  5. FitzSimons spent a lot of time in France playing rugby. That can’t be good for your brain.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 06 06 at 04:11 AM • permalink

  6. well when u look at the collection of tripe that is in your average chick’s mag (was it No Idea??), i could well understand how an editor of one wouldn’t have very high standards, and so could mistakenly credit their significant other with some ability that just isn’t there…  but sheesh, he definitely needs to get a second opinion from a more credible source….

    but if some idiot is prepared to pay him money for his guff what can you do….  except continually point out to the public how lousy he is i suppose???

    Posted by casanova on 2006 06 06 at 04:14 AM • permalink

  7. When the hoi polloi get ideas above their station, Peter FitzSimons will be there to keep them in their place. 

    Todd and Brant will only know fulfilment when they cease to aspire to the affluence of their betters and apply themselves to such programmes as are deemed proper for their improvement.

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2006 06 06 at 04:34 AM • permalink

  8. Actually, the AGE had a sneaky dig the other day, a banner headline that juxtaposed the US trip with ‘their mates facing redundancy back in Tasmania’.

    Why don’t these donkeys choose a much bigger target like such as the behaviour of the UN?

    Posted by Nic on 2006 06 06 at 04:38 AM • permalink

  9. I used to find him quite funny but he is the most insufferable snob. In the league of Mike Carlton who faked a plum accent when he worked in the UK about 10 years ago.

    I recall an article he wrote when he engaged Andrew Johns in a discussion about literature, assuming Johns, as a rugby league player without an Arts degree to be an uneducated oik who reads little more than comic books. In a cute sort of way he was looking to humiliate Johns. He was shocked to find Johns surprisingly erudite and well read. I have always thought Johns to be well spoken and intelligent when interviewed, despite probably not having the same educational opportunities as Fitzsimons.

    No doubt, he finds Russell and Webb to be in that same ilk – uneducated boofheads who have no right to earn a decent quid.

    Posted by Effing & Blinding on 2006 06 06 at 05:02 AM • permalink

  10. Reading between the lines, FitzSimons seems a teensy bit jealous that they didn’t ask him to be their ghost writer. But let’s face it, why on earth would they? Even miners presumably want their story told in coherent English.

    Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2006 06 06 at 05:09 AM • permalink

  11. Do you and Pete have separate bedrooms, Lisa?  *shudder*

    Posted by you bet on 2006 06 06 at 05:27 AM • permalink

  12. As long as Todd’n’Brant dont have beards, long white robes, and tight tea cozies on their heads as they emerge through customs in Los Angeles they’ll be fine.

    Posted by Islam/cancer-Chuck Norris/answer on 2006 06 06 at 05:32 AM • permalink

  13. What a wanker. I bet if he got stuck down some godforsaken hole and survived to tell the tale he would milk it for all it was worth. Good luck to the miners - I hope they make a fortune.

    Posted by EliotNess on 2006 06 06 at 05:43 AM • permalink

  14. Last time I heard anything said by that moron was when I accidentally tuned into 2UE.

    He was commenting (alongside Mike Carlton) that he wouldn’t acknowledge Queen Elizabeth 11 as the Queen of Australia because he is a republican.

    All I could think of at the time was that he is like a spoilt little kid, that because he doesn’t like an umpires decision he would take his bat and ball and go home crying all the way.

    Poor Pete. He should go home and listen to the Whitlam’s.

    Posted by gubbaboy on 2006 06 06 at 05:51 AM • permalink

  15. Doesn’t this sound familiar? It is like when the media turned against Douglas Wood, previously a hero, for endorsing Bush and the US effort in Iraq. Now they’re going to do it to the Tassie miners.

    Fitzsimons is a good example of that principle about people rising to their level of incompetence. It’s the relentless ambition of his wife that has pushed him out of the(rugby)ruck where he probably belongs. It’s hard to know which of the two is more lightweight, and having heard both of them on Carlton’s 2UE, toadying to Mike and his party line on Howard and Bush, you’d have to feel that in all things other than sport, Pete is way out of his depth, even more so than his airhead wife.

    Posted by Big Arnie on 2006 06 06 at 05:53 AM • permalink

  16. little black duck, or bloated white fuck? either way, when did anyone who wanted to make a sale ever ask Peter to write their story.

    Posted by hooligan on 2006 06 06 at 05:54 AM • permalink

  17. What is it with your idiots and ducks?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 06 at 06:21 AM • permalink

  18. I don’t think Customs cares if you wear rock-star dark glasses. I think it’s box cutters and bombs they don’t like.

    It that’s the kind of advice he has to offer, I’m glad he isn’t going to be the ghost.

    Posted by Retread on 2006 06 06 at 06:39 AM • permalink

  19. #4
    She’s a silly lefty moonbat bint.

    Posted by kae on 2006 06 06 at 07:53 AM • permalink

  20. Pete could write this book for the two miners standing on his head. Just do it the way he wrote Kakoda. Read five other books on the subject then make up your own from them.

    Posted by raider580 on 2006 06 06 at 07:53 AM • permalink

  21. When he’s not apologising to terrorists, low-rating Pete is too busy writing about success stories like Kim Beazley.

    Posted by macho man on 2006 06 06 at 08:33 AM • permalink

  22. #3

    That clown should just stick to commentating on sport… who allowed it to get into his head that his thoughts and opinions matter to the wider populace???

    Morning radio shift with Mike Carleton. That’s who.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 06 06 at 08:58 AM • permalink

  23. No, ththir, not this little black duck!

    I can, and do, “rest assured”.

    Posted by paco on 2006 06 06 at 09:13 AM • permalink

  24. #17 Obviously, they’re quackers.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 06 at 09:26 AM • permalink

  25. The media are a funny lot aren’t they?, I mean really, look how they struggle to define a common link between these men, makes you feel like really giving them a whack with a great big clue stick.

    Posted by darrinh on 2006 06 06 at 09:38 AM • permalink

  26. This is the same plonker who spearheaded the campaign to donate money to the two Opera House vandals. This bloke is deeply deluded.

    Posted by Maulman on 2006 06 06 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  27. Just a few simple steps for these two guys to get back in the good graces of the people that matter.
    1. Get a pair of Katie Curic “smart” glasses.
    2. pontificate on the Evil US and blood for oil.
    3. Try to say something nasty about Jews.

    And there you go!

    Posted by jeff mccabe on 2006 06 06 at 10:45 AM • permalink

  28. and rest assured it is not this little black duck

    Actually, it’s a typo.  He meant to type an “f” instead of a “d”.  Apparently he fancies himself a person of color.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 06 06 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  29. If they can’t find that writer—and rest assured it is not this little black duck—it will more likely come out in about April of next year.

    No, I think you all misread this.  He probably was pointing to a small dark colored duck that was sitting beside him.  He was simply pointing out that the duck would not be writing the book.  Although in actuality he was expressing his opinion on the matter, he probably said it in good faith.

    So to sum up what Fitzsimmons said, the black duck won’t be writing the book.  In his opinion.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 06 06 at 12:08 PM • permalink

  30. and rest assured it is not this little black duck

    Whew! That’s a relief. I was worried there for a second.

    So, who is this clown again?

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 06 06 at 01:41 PM • permalink

  31. fitzi is a smart media operator who has little real talent and does what so many other no-talent hacks do….......say something outrageous just for the sake of causing a stir and then ride that sucker all the way to the bank.

    his missus has very thick luscious angelina jole lips, they look odd….

    Posted by vinny on 2006 06 06 at 05:39 PM • permalink

  32. Doncha just hate it when working class people come into money instead of just shutting the hell up and working in t’ mines where they belong?

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 06 06 at 06:34 PM • permalink

  33. If I were FitzSimons,....

    Fortunately you are not Peter TwitSimons, which is why I am reading this blog and not his drivel.

    Posted by SB on 2006 06 06 at 06:48 PM • permalink

  34. FitzSimons wouldn’t demean himself by writing about these guys.

    He doesn’t have a problem writing apologies to osama though.

    Posted by Tex on 2006 06 06 at 07:47 PM • permalink

  35. The more I hear about these blokes the more I like them.The fact that Fitzsimons was obviously given the flick-pass when it came to selecting a writer should only elevate them further in the estimation of anyone who has ever wasted time reading one of his purile and primitive biographies.As far as him sticking to sports commentating,please give me a break,although he once played Rugby his knowledge of sport generally is as sparse as the growth of hair on his melon-like cranium.Anybody who watches The Back Page on Fox Sports would know that if he happens to be on the panel a quick channel change is indicated.BTW has anyone else noticed the close physical resemblance between the boofheaded root and Uday Hussain? Coincidentally Uday was once named Journalist of the Year by the Iraqui Union of Journalists,his talent in that field was probably about the equal of our local fool.

    Posted by Lew on 2006 06 07 at 02:34 AM • permalink

  36. Re #5

    FitzSimon’s spent a lot of time playing Rugby, period, which definitely is not good for the brain. What’s more, he was a forward of sorts, which even RU types will tell you indicates a definite lack of brain!!

    Posted by kywong73 on 2006 06 07 at 02:36 AM • permalink

  37. He butchered Steve Waugh’s biography

    Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 06 07 at 03:32 AM • permalink

  38. Fitzy off Friday Night Big Brother sounds smarter than this guy.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 06 07 at 03:59 AM • permalink

  39. Just a thought…. Mike Carlton’s Sat SMH column is getting more and more like Alan Ramsay’s further on in the section, ie Howard’s never done anything right; How did we idiots vote him in again; Ramsay fills up most of his opinion page with quotes from other sources; a really Grumpy Old Man!!Maybe Carlton is being lined up to take over from him and then Fittzy can have the 2UE breakfast show to himself….or bring in his wife?? A Succession plan you might say??

    Posted by JPMAC on 2006 06 07 at 05:51 AM • permalink

  40. Hahahaha they told him to fuck off he’s not writing their book and he gets all bitter and twisted.
    Fucking loser.

    Posted by Baldman on 2006 06 07 at 07:04 AM • permalink

  41. “I’m an eye witness, cause I read it here at Channel Tim”

    “I love Eyewitness News on Tim”

    Send in your news video to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)...... cause all the stations do.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 06 07 at 08:35 PM • permalink

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