<< GREGORY DIET MOCKED ~ MAIN ~ DULL TONE NOTED >>
PM EDDIE
Collingwood won their first match of the season yesterday, over Carlton, in a game marred by Helen Keller-style umpiring. Club president Eddie McGuire – who describes his politics as “centre-left” – is now being targeted by the ALP as a means of achieving power:
The Labor Party has asked Eddie McGuire to help it win government.
The move is part of a Labor strategy to recruit celebrities, including football figures.
They could do worse; McGuire is a skilled and pragmatic organiser. Still, what is it with the ALP and its lust for millionaires? Peter Garrett, McGuire, Evan Thornley … how difficult would it be for the ALP to sell a message that things need improving if its candidates have all become wealthy under a Coalition government?
(Apologies for that Keller crack to any blind people reading this. Oh, wait …)
The only reason the Maggots got up is the Blues played like Helen Keller after getting a good lead.
And as for Eddie Everywhere, I’m not surprised the ALP is chasing him, as he fulfills the main criteria for their federal MPs nowadays-
Millionaire - Check.
Lives in a safe Liberal electorate - Check.
Interested only in himself - Check.Lock it in, Eddie!
Posted by The Mongrel on 2005 04 10 at 02:16 AM • permalinkWell said Mongrel, I take it that you are a ‘Blue’ heeler? I cant believe that we lost.
Anyway, Eddie is a good choice as both Collingwood and the ALP have roughly the same lack of success at winning anything, both have no understanding of how the general poulation feels about them, they are more than meant for each other.
Mr. Blair, I agree with most of what you say.
However, I think that it is worth noting that the coalition dumped a well respected candidate in favour of the very wealthy Malcolm Turball.
Also, Garett’s wealth came long before a coalition government was in power.
Posted by mushtaq_omar on 2005 04 10 at 03:00 AM • permalinkMr Mushtaq Mr “Turball” won preselection over the incumbent, it wasnt a coalition “dumping” it was the vote of the party members of that seat.
Quite often local seats are in conflinct with state and national bodies.
And you are right, Garett’s wealth did come long before a coalition government was in power, [re-read the above]
I believe Eddie everywhere is awaiting the results of his application to be Pope before he decides on entering politics.
Posted by Astonished on 2005 04 10 at 04:45 AM • permalinkEddie for Pope and PM. I’m sure there wouldn’t be any conflict, just ask him. Can you imagine the defiant glare from Mr Everywhere if one of the timid throng of sports journalists in Melbourne dared to ask just that. Of course the press conference would take place on the set of the Football Show with a portrait of John Paul II wearing a Collingwood guernsey and an ALP badge in the background. The press conference would happily coincide with the Eddie’s announcement that Emirates had been would now be the offical airline of god. Anybody accusing him of sacrilege of church, the AFL and democracy would be told they had no sense of humour and to lighten up.
Posted by Dean McAskil on 2005 04 10 at 05:45 AM • permalinkSeeing as Eddie is mildly disliked by anyone in Victoria who doesn’t own a black and white beanie, and generally loathed and detested outside Brackistan, he’s the ideal ALP candidate- I’m surprised they didn’t tap him on the shoulder previously. Which safe seat are they going to shoe-horn the self-important twat into? I suggest they also put out feelers to Richard Carleton, Rusty Crowe, the fat tart with the ears off Big Brother and Dicko on the same basis. Opposition beckons yet again.
But Habib,
What better than being the member for Collingwood itself? I’m sure Eddie will fit right in with the smackies, moccasin wearing bogans, public housing tenants and young people in touch with their feminine/masculine sides. In fact, his campaign office could be right between both the methadone clinic and the ashram on Smith St.
I’m going to lock in Collingwood on that one Eddie.
It always frustrates me no end when people describe themselves as “centre left” or “centre right”. They are always the ones with splinters in their ass from sitting on the fence and never achieve anything.
Posted by Hank Reardon on 2005 04 10 at 08:31 AM • permalinksortelli, it’s a sad comment on our times when people parody the glorious Gamera
let us never forget the immortal lyrics:
Gamera!
Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!
Sun, Moon, Mars Mercury
Juptier, Mars or Venus
Or any planet at all
Come out space monster!
It slashes! It pierces! Go go go!
Use your jet propulshion
And deliver a body blow!
You are mighty, Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!or
You’re so groovy, Gamera
You’re so groovy, Gamera
You’re so groovy, Gamera
M! M! J! V! (Mars! Mercury! Jupiter! Venus!)
M! M! J! V! (Mars! Mercury! Jupiter! Venus!)
Monsters coming from Mars, or some other alien world?
Come on, space monsters! Bring it on! Let’s cut and poke! Okay, go-go-go…
Using spinning jets, he will win!or
Gamera!
Gamera!
You’re so groovy, Gamera!
You’re so groovy, Gamera!
You are groovy, Gamera!
Sun, Moon, Mars Mercury
There’s a big monster headed our way
Coming out of deep freeze
Whether we like it or not
Here it comes, flying down
Go! Go! Go!
Down it with jet flame
Groovy, groovy Gamera!
Groovy, groovy Gamera!
You are groovy, Gamera!Nic, yes… Gamera, the Giant Flying, Fire-Farting Turtle of Justice. What’s not to like? Although the later series of films, Gamera Vs. Gaos, Gamera Vs. Legion, Gamera — The Revenge of Iris and Gamera — Guardian of the Universe, are quite nice from the effects standpoint.
At least, that’s what some guy told me.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 04 10 at 04:14 PM • permalinkTim — At Universal Citywalk here in LA, all the ATM machines have a sticker reading: This ATM Equipped to Assist the Visually Handicapped.
Um…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 04 10 at 04:15 PM • permalinkChances of the ALP winning a single seat in Brisbane with that master auto-eroticisor, McGuire, at the helm: zero. Even the chipmunk nerdburger might lose his seat.
Go on ALP: make my day.
Murph, I’d say the ALP have about as much chance of winning with McGuire as Eddie has of pronouncing ‘millionaire’ correctly.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2005 04 11 at 12:08 AM • permalinkand the saddest thing is that the ALP still hasn’t figured out that you go from opposition to government by taking seats from the government - i.e. by running good candidates in winnable government seats, not by putting your “best” candidates into safe seats that you already hold, even if those safe seats are held by timeservers and bludgers
Both sides of politics take on celebrity recruits, although the ALP tend towards media, while the libs go for sportspeople. There are, of course, exceptions to this generalisation.
To join the ALP in this way, however, eddie will have to settle for a life of obscurity on the backbench, as the factions, particulary in Victoria, will never accept him (mainly because he is a tv personality from a station other than the ABC) and are unlikely t o reward him with a safe seat unless he is parachuted in from kimbo’s office. The above thus ensures that he will either a) not do it; b) be unsuccessful; or c) give it away after one term and an episode of massive depression.I think he’s full enough of his own piss and importance to be convinced that he’d be in with a shot at the top job. Wouldn’t it be a terrible shame if he wound up like another VFL club president who decided his future lay in politics? I’d throw coins out my car window to him while he was lying in his own filth on a traffic island, but I’d heat them up first.
What a line up;
Eddie as PM
Gillard as treasurer
Garret as minister for mining
Beazley foreign affairs
Mick O’Toole as industry minister
Brian O’Toole defence
Paddy O’Toole for the Arts
Brendan O’Toole minister sports and recreation
Seamus O’Toole immigation
Pa O’Toole for keepin the lads in lineWhats the craique?
Page 1 of 1 pages
Members:
Login | Register
| Member List
Did we really need another reason to, erm, hate Collingwood? :-P
Richard :-)