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PLASTIC FRANKEN

Al Franken, a ferocious opponent of lying liars, tells a lie:


Last year, I was in the same hangar that Bush did his - who came with the Thanksgiving turkey, the plastic turkey ...

Franken, according to Dennis Glover, is part of the solution. Just so long as the problem doesn’t involve anything so complex as working out if a roasted bird is real or not.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/14/2005 at 01:20 AM
  1. As God is my witness I thought turkeys could lie!
    -Arthur Carlson, station manager WKRP

    Posted by Blog Dog on 2005 01 14 at 02:47 AM • permalink

  2. ABC paranoia reaches new heights by targetting Andre Agassi!  Andrew Denton’s former “Live and Sweaty” regular Karen(the name escapes me) now sports presenter Perth -said tonight “after retiring with what HE SAYS is a leg injury..’ Makes a change from their oft chanted mantra “SOME SAY “.

    Posted by crash on 2005 01 14 at 03:27 AM • permalink

  3. "Lies and The Lying Liars who Tell Them”, an autobiography.

    “Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot,” was also a lie. Limbaugh was not fat at the time.  So Franken decided to then write his autobiography. “Let the truth be”, vowed Franken.  But how would he know? gobble gobble

    Posted by J. Peden on 2005 01 14 at 03:44 AM • permalink

  4. It’s the phrase that keeps giving. ``Plastic Turkey’’ probably survives because of the alliteration t-k t-k.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Coleridge used it somewhere..  Yes!

    In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
    A stately pleasure-dome decree
    Where Alph, the plastic turkey, ran
    Through caverns measureless to man
    Down to a sunless sea.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2005 01 14 at 05:17 AM • permalink

  5. LOL!

    Good one, rhhardin. ;^D

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2005 01 14 at 05:27 AM • permalink

  6. Heh!  So that’s why Al came to Iraq, just to tell a lie?  Talk about projecting your shortcomings onto others......

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 01 14 at 05:48 AM • permalink

  7. "Just so long as the problem doesn’t involve anything so complex as working out if a roasted bird is real or not."

    Note to self:

    Never have coffee (or any beverage) in mouth while reading Tim’s blog. It’s such a pain to clean the spewed coffee from the desk, keyboard, etc..

    Posted by CJosephson on 2005 01 14 at 06:30 AM • permalink

  8. Pants on fire! 

    You’d think that, given all the scholarly research that Franken and his numerous Harvard-funded assistants have done on the topic, he might have realized that successful lying is hard work. You have to keep all those fabricated stories straight and all that.

    As Groucho Marx once said, “Time wounds all heels.” Gloat, gloat. Tee-hee.

    Posted by Butch on 2005 01 14 at 06:47 AM • permalink

  9. The plastic turkey has been a staple of poets from time immemorial.  We�re familiar with their use by Wallace Stevens & William Carlos Williams, but how many remember Ovid�s

    Into plastic�the spirit bears the tale of things shifted�
    turkeys!

    or Shakespeare�s more spartan

    To be or not to be
    Plastic turkey!

    (& I hardly need mention Homer�s often mistranslated figuration of the crafted beast at a decisive juncture in the Iliad).

    Posted by ForNow on 2005 01 14 at 08:36 AM • permalink

  10. Where can I get a Plastic Franken? I got just the place for it.

    Posted by basil on 2005 01 14 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  11. Not to be a nitpicker, but wasn’t that

    Where Ralph, the plastic turkey, ran...?

    Posted by ErnieG on 2005 01 14 at 10:38 AM • permalink

  12. "A roast, by any other name, would smell as meat...”

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 01 14 at 10:46 AM • permalink

  13. dear al,

    instant karma’s gonna get you…

    ~john lennon and the plastic turkey band~

    Posted by guinsPen on 2005 01 14 at 02:43 PM • permalink

  14. Coming soon!

    Lies, The Liars Who Tell Them, and The Lying Sacks of Shit Who Lie To Divert Attention from Their Own Pathetic, Harvard-funded Lies, by Al Franken

    Lying Sack ‘o Shit, LLC, New York, 1,890 pages. $65.00

    Posted by Butch on 2005 01 15 at 06:28 AM • permalink

  15. Maley Lies to us all:
    �THE release of Australia’s Mamdouh Habib from the US detention camp at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba will surely come as an enormous relief to his family, although realistically it may take him years to recover from his experiences. But it also provides an occasion to reflect on the fragility of liberty.� William Maley, The Australian, 14th January 2005
    Maley wants us to continue to fight extremism within the legal system. It has not yet dawned on him (and others) that the legal system is a luxury afforded by civil societies in times of peace, not war. It is weighted towards the presumption of innocence. It is not a tool which can fight those whose goals are the overthrow of the system of government.
    Our liberty is fragile and will be made more so if advocates like Maley insist that there be no innoculation against the viral actions of those who seek to destry from within.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2005 01 15 at 10:14 AM • permalink

  16. Redundancy, and the Redundant Retards who Repeat Themselves Redundantly, by Al Franken.

    Posted by Sortelli on 2005 01 15 at 03:58 PM • permalink

  17. Onya Blogstrop - let Maley accompany his little mate back to Egypt - singin yeah, yeah yeah yeah......

    Posted by crash on 2005 01 16 at 01:57 AM • permalink

  18. rhhardin, that was classic

    Zhang Ziyi fan

    Posted by webern on 2005 01 16 at 11:44 AM • permalink

  19. rhhardin, that was classic

    Zhang Ziyi fan

    Posted by webern on 2005 01 16 at 11:45 AM • permalink

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