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PERILS, INDESCRIBABLE PERILS!

Further to the mention earlier of Australian kidnap consultant Sheikh Al Hillali (“Captives Returned in 24 Hours or Your Terms Increased by Twelve Thousand Percent!”), here’s a translated SBS interview with the Sheikh recorded shortly after he arrived in Iraq:

Majida Abboud-Saab: Tell us, have you been able to make any contact until now to help release Douglas Wood?

Sheikh Taj El Din Al Hilali: Since our arrival after this journey of hardships, we were thrilled with the call made by the Australian Ambassador in Abu Dhabi to the Australian Ambassador here in Baghdad and their faithful cooperation to arrange our transportation. And we arrived in a way very similar to that of Cowboy movies.

Majida: Was it a perilous journey?

Sheikh Taj: It was filled with perils, indescribable perils! And we arrived at three in the morning.

Majida: So how long did the journey take you?

Sheikh Taj: It took 25 hours since we left Australia and then 5 hours. So around 30 hours in total.

Majida: What were the dangers that you faced?

Sheikh Taj: Our transportation was a military one and was not safe due to the lack of direct communication with Baghdad but we arrived with the grace of God. Our hearts were thrilled with the kind spirit of the Iraqi government and people who, whenever they saw us - be it at the hotel or on the road – they all said: “we are with you, our hearts are with you!” And the whole of the Iraqi people are appalled by having such individuals who terrorise the safety of the people and that the [Iraqi] people is a moralistic and ethical one and refuses the assault on civilians. They said that with tears in their eyes. And we have been in contact with the religious leaders and it has been almost continuous work during the last 24 hours.

I guess we’d all like to know more about those “indescribable perils!”; a pity their very nature precludes this. Lately the Sheikh—apparently increasing the demands of those who would “terrorise the safety of the people”—has demanded the complete withdrawal of coalition troops as a condition of Wood’s release (among them the Australians who assisted during the Sheikh’s “journey of hardships”). Wonder what Iraq’s government thinks about that.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/04/2005 at 10:07 AM
  1. Perils = Public Toilets

    Posted by Blue on 2005 06 04 at 11:46 AM • permalink

  2. Hey Sheikh! If you have trouble describing peril, ask Douglas Wood. Or better yet, trade places with him.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2005 06 04 at 12:09 PM • permalink

  3. ...how do people arrive in cowboy movies?

    Posted by Aaron - Freewill on 2005 06 04 at 01:30 PM • permalink

  4. Indescribable perils — Some of my old sergeants used to tell stories about Aussie pilots.  “Naow, people saiy you can’t do this in a high-wing, four-engine transport, but no worries…”

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 04 at 01:35 PM • permalink

  5. “I guess we’d all like to know more about those “indescribable perils!”

    It must have been Zoot and the virgins at the Castle Anthrax:

    LAUNCELOT: We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril.
    GALAHAD: I don’t think I was.
    LAUNCELOT: Yes you were, you were in terrible peril.
    GALAHAD: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
    LAUNCELOT: No, it’s too perilous.
    GALAHAD: Look, I need to face as much peril as I can.
    LAUNCELOT: No, we’ve got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
    GALAHAD: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?
    LAUNCELOT: No, it’s unhealthy.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 04 at 02:09 PM • permalink

  6. ...how do people arrive in cowboy movies?

    aaron - freewill — Generally leaving a long trail of horseshit behind them…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 04 at 05:09 PM • permalink

  7. It’s a classic case of throwing perils before swine.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2005 06 04 at 06:21 PM • permalink

  8. Perhaps English is the Sheik’s second (or third) language. What is the Sheik’s first language? Persian or Farsi I suppose. Do we know the original phrasing, or just the translation to “indescribable” and “peril”?

    Doesn’t matter, really. This post is bullshit, Blair. What is your point?

    Posted by nwab on 2005 06 04 at 06:49 PM • permalink

  9. nwab was indeed kind to excuse the continual stream of meaningless hyperbole that has been coming forth from the menacing Hilaly. Further, he has cruely created false hope in the family of Woods whilst relentlessly drawing attention to his own efforts.

    All we can be certain of is a) more publicity for the Sheik b) he is setting up his endgame to blame Australia for Woods demise c) the Woods family will never see their large wad of cash they naievely parted with for ‘charitable’ causes in Iraq.

    Of course he could denounce the terrorists and decry their methods, but then he would be condemning his own beliefs.

    The Australian government should not let him back in the country.

    Posted by captain on 2005 06 04 at 06:55 PM • permalink

  10. http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200506/s1384697.htm

    lets see

    Posted by captain on 2005 06 04 at 07:51 PM • permalink

  11. I believe the point of Tim’s post is that this al-Hillali is a doofus who shouldn’t meddle in serious things (much like our own Jesse Jackson, who’s always rushing off with a monster entourage of press people to “save” some hapless victim somewhere).

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 06 04 at 08:02 PM • permalink

  12. The Sheik sounds like he’s an Islamic Joh Bjelkie Peterson.

    Posted by Nic on 2005 06 04 at 08:16 PM • permalink

  13. “indescribable perils!” - Sheik must be referring to those pesky insufferable baggage handlers.

    He certainly cant be referring to his fellow head hunting Jihadii Muslims - only Douglas Wood would be able to properly describe that peril.

    Posted by rog2 on 2005 06 04 at 08:28 PM • permalink

  14. Captain, you suggest that the Sheik ought to simply denounce the demands of the kidnappers. How exactly will this help persuade them not to kill Wood? Do you know what the word negotiate means? Like it or not, the kidnappers have the upper hand here.

    I think you would like to see Wood killed so that you can justify further reactionary violence by the so-called coalition. You would also be able to smugly criticise the Sheik’s efforts. Perfect.

    How do you like being accused of something so horrible?

    Posted by nwab on 2005 06 04 at 08:41 PM • permalink

  15. I think nwab’s projecting. Again.

    Posted by Patrick Chester on 2005 06 04 at 08:59 PM • permalink

  16. I suppose being Jewish and being told by Hilaly that I am a descendent of pigs and finding the terrorists use the same language is a little jarring. He of course made a number of such remarks that blame the Jews for everything: using exactly the same rhetoric as the terrorists. He is a comforter of terrorists.

    He is not trying to negotiate at all: he is trying to be a hero both to the terrorists (ie to get out all coalition forces) and to Australians for his efforts.

    Hilaly and all Muslim leaders should denounce violence of their own accord as being unislamic. Violence also includes the wanton use of Nazi symbols to dehumanise their perceived enemies. This has been Hilaly’s modis operandis. Hilaly’s remarks have always been calculated to cause rather than abate violence.

    Hilaly is the spiritual leader of terrorism in Australia.

    Posted by captain on 2005 06 04 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  17. Why is it only a ‘so-called coalition’?

    Posted by Harold on 2005 06 04 at 09:34 PM • permalink

  18. Do you have anything to actually contribute, Patrick Chester?

    Harold, I am simply suggesting that calling the occupation forces a coalition is a misnomer as they are predominantly of one country only.

    Posted by nwab on 2005 06 04 at 09:36 PM • permalink

  19. Well then, Howard and Blair seem to have taken a hell of a lot of flak for only being in a misnomer.
    Not to mention the Spaniards getting blown up for their participation.

    Posted by Harold on 2005 06 04 at 09:42 PM • permalink

  20. Do you know what the word negotiate means? Like it or not, the kidnappers have the upper hand here.

    Nwab, you illiterate cretin, Hillali not only failed to do anything to improve the lot of the unfortunate Mr Wood, he prompted the kidnappers to increase their demands.

    Posted by Pixy Misa on 2005 06 04 at 09:53 PM • permalink

  21. Perhaps English is the Sheik’s second (or third) language.

    Anybody who’s been following the Sheikh’s Antipodean misadventures would know that he doesn’t speak English. Pay attention, n-wad.

    Do we know the original phrasing, or just the translation to “indescribable” and “peril”?

    Ask Fady Kassab, who provided this translation for SBS. Which you’d know if you hit the link.

    Posted by Tim B. on 2005 06 04 at 10:17 PM • permalink

  22. Ouch!

    Posted by nwab on 2005 06 04 at 10:19 PM • permalink

  23. “Captain, you suggest that the Sheik ought to simply denounce the demands of the kidnappers. How exactly will this help persuade them not to kill Wood? Do you know what the word negotiate means? Like it or not, the kidnappers have the upper hand here.”

    Let me explain to you how operant conditioning works, nwab- when you reward a behavior, you encourage it. Negotiation may or may not save Wood’s life. It will certainly result in more kidnapping. The proper response to kidnapping is to refuse the kidnappers their demands, and assure them that they will be pursued and punished. Bad news to the individual being held at present, good news for the potential future victims who will be saved.

    “I think you would like to see Wood killed so that you can justify further reactionary violence by the so-called coalition.”

    First off, you’re an asshole for ascribing that to Captain. Second, you’re an idiot for calling it a “so-called” coalition. You probably use the term “unilateral” as less than an absolute, also.

    “You would also be able to smugly criticise the Sheik’s efforts. Perfect.”

    Efforts that will cause future death. Yes, very worthy of criticism.

    You’re either being naive, stupid, or disingenuous. None reflect well on you, nwab.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 04 at 10:40 PM • permalink

  24. You’re either being naive, stupid, or disingenuous. None reflect well on you, nwab.

    Oh, come now, it’s not an either-or.

    Posted by Sortelli on 2005 06 04 at 10:54 PM • permalink

  25. “Oh, come now, it’s not an either-or.”

    OK, just to be generous, how about:

    Naive
    Wanker,
    At
    Best.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 04 at 11:16 PM • permalink

  26. Majida: Was it a perilous journey?

    Sheikh Taj: It was filled with perils, indescribable perils! And we arrived at three in the morning.

    And they say leftists don’t have a sense of humour. Those SBS translators could be selling this stuff.

    Posted by Hanyu on 2005 06 04 at 11:46 PM • permalink

  27. ‘Perhaps English is the Sheik’s second (or third) language’.

    Nope. He is Egyptian born, dont know what languages he speaks, but English is not among them. Al-Hilaly has been in Australia for approximately 20 years and barely speaks a word of English. Thats how he gets away with his vile rants against Jews, Australians and the West in general - when the idiot media finally calls him on his racist rantings, he claims that he has been ‘misintepreted’ or ‘mistranslated’.

    Lately, he has probably realised how unpopular he is - a lot of Muslims dont like him either - and has decided to do something to redeem himself.

    Shot himself in the foot, I think. To many Aussies, this situation is smellier than week-old fish. And although everyone would wish to see Wood go home safely, the truth is that his situation has not aroused a great deal of sympathy here. He is regarded as more American than Australian, he is married to an American and lives in California. Also, many people think he behaved with reckless disregard for his own safety by going into dangerous areas.

    Indescribable perils eh - that should appeal to the Aussie sense of humour. Tell us more, sheik!

    Posted by dee on 2005 06 05 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  28. Old Sheik Yerbuti reckons he saw Woods face-to-face. If it transpires Woods was killed early on, the old Sheik will have a little explaining to do.

    Posted by steve68 on 2005 06 05 at 06:47 AM • permalink

  29. Now we hear the good sheik has literally seen Douglas Wood eye to eye.

    So I hope the old bugger had a tracking device in him.  Then the SAS could sort ‘em out. 

    Personally, if the old bugger actually manages to pull it off he will certainly redeem himself in the eyes of many.  OTOH, as has already been noted here,

    this situation is smellier than week-old fish

    Posted by entropy on 2005 06 05 at 06:47 AM • permalink

  30. If Al Hillbilly knows where Mt Wood is, then it should be his duty as an Australian citizen to disclose anything he knows.

    Maybe a pair of women’s underpants on his head could induce him to talk?

    I join the chorus: smellier than week old fish.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2005 06 05 at 10:50 AM • permalink

  31. ‘indescribable perils’ pretty much describes what you bring upon yourself when you suggest I might be an Orion dancing girl.

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 06 05 at 02:06 PM • permalink

  32. Achillea — So I suppose Hutt jokes are right out?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 05 at 04:45 PM • permalink

  33. In fairness to me Achillea, I said I did not believe you were an Orion dancing girl.  Or that McEnroe was a Romulan spy.  Or anything like that.

    Hey, how do these rumours get started?

    (slinks away quickly)

    Posted by wronwright on 2005 06 05 at 08:46 PM • permalink

  34. The Big Al now says he saw Wood on a video

    Posted by rog2 on 2005 06 06 at 07:56 AM • permalink

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