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PAVE PARADISE

Among Peter Garrett’s tips to “protect our precious environment”:

Have less lawn and more plants or paving - this reduces water usage.

More paving? If you say so, chief. Parking lots for Gaia! Mind you, water is useful in ways that don’t involve plants. More from Pete:

Grow your own food - start with herbs.

Good thinking. You don’t want to start with cattle or Chilean sea bass. Start with herbs, then work your way up.

Posted by Tim B. on 09/06/2007 at 08:01 AM
  1. Herbs make you dance funny and lose your hair. Everyone knows that.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 09 06 at 08:18 AM • permalink

  2. Pave Peter’s place and put up a parking lot…ooh-la-la-la-la

    Posted by murph on 2007 09 06 at 08:19 AM • permalink

  3. Mind you, water is useful in ways that don’t involve plants.

    This is why I recommend that those spraying the water also throw bars of soap at the whining hippies.

    Hi 1.618 (waves)

    Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 09 06 at 08:19 AM • permalink

  4. I think he meant, “Start with herb”.  Ask the Silverchair guy…

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 09 06 at 08:24 AM • permalink

  5. Lawn isn’t plants?  I’m not sure how I’m going to break the news to my little blades of grass.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 09 06 at 08:31 AM • permalink

  6. Poor old Pete… one bong short of a trip-out.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 09 06 at 08:37 AM • permalink

  7. Have less lawn and more plants this reduces water usage.

    How? Are they special self watering plants?

    Posted by Nic on 2007 09 06 at 08:38 AM • permalink

  8. Pete’s practising going walkabout. Missing in action on the Tassie pulp mill, he’s relaxing his larynx prior to winning the superior portfolio in greening and other things PC. Those large veins in his neck will return to pump the juices necessary to shout out the liberal opposition.

    His less than mediocre mind will then become obvious to everyone except those in the Labor seat that shoehorned him in.

    With the other way below par Labor performers voted in by an Australia that doesn’t make sense, Garrett will be feted by Parliaments around the world as some kind of hippy king.

    Thank you everyone for allowing me this chance to throw a cow pad at the cretin from hell prior to sleeping on what looks like a gloomy end of year. Bonne nuit.

    Posted by mehaul on 2007 09 06 at 08:38 AM • permalink

  9. there’s a link to a video of the goose expounding on his tips on the kevin07 home page, as i pointed out http://timblair.net/ee/index.php/weblog/comments/king_of_glory/#290002yesterday. what do i have to do to get a hat tip round here?  grumble grumble

    Posted by KK on 2007 09 06 at 08:42 AM • permalink

  10. hmmm… that worked well

    Posted by KK on 2007 09 06 at 08:44 AM • permalink

  11. Poor old Pete no 2…

    Was he actually suggesting we rip up that green grassy stuff that absorbs CO2, and replace it with (gasp) man-made paving?

    Kill this man now. He is an offence to my environmental religious beliefs. Grass has the same rights as Peter, dead or alive.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 09 06 at 08:47 AM • permalink

  12. KK, it could have been worse. If the link had been too wide for this page, it could have brought the wrath of Andrea down upon your head.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 09 06 at 08:47 AM • permalink

  13. #9
    I saw it, KK, I saw it!

    #10
    Quick, KK, HIDE!

    **
    I heard Pete was smart.
    Boy, was my informant misled!

    #6
    Bongshort. LOL
    Now I have to stop laughing and go to bed!

    Posted by kae on 2007 09 06 at 08:48 AM • permalink

  14. O/T


    Kevin07 talks in his preferred language.

    Nobody likes a smartarse, Kevin.

    (Except maybe that brown-nose journalist.)

    Posted by Kobaal on 2007 09 06 at 08:49 AM • permalink

  15. This Garrett dunce has to be a serious embarrassment to the Labor party.

    Some decrepit hippy in his 50’s, gobbing off about stuff he knows nothing about, allegedly supposed to be appealing to the “youth” vote.

    Puhleeze.

    When this fool becomes Minister for the Environment, watch the party apparatchiks ensure that he is only allowed out in public at places like Nimbin and Byron Bay, and is never, ever allowed to speak to real income producing businessmen or formulate any sort of Gaia worshipping policy off his own bat.

    One good thing about the ALP is their caucus system that ensures that show ponies like Garrett are kicked firmly in the family jewels if they stray from the party line or upset the flow of ackers into the bank account.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 09 06 at 08:52 AM • permalink

  16. #13 thank you kae.  i am hiding - for some reason there’s plenty of room behind the cat tonight

    Posted by KK on 2007 09 06 at 09:04 AM • permalink

  17. #14 From your link:

    The effect could not have been greater had the family’s precocious nine-year-old played a Chopin prelude perfectly for the visiting relatives after Christmas lunch.

    And there we have Rudd’s China policy…

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 09 06 at 09:05 AM • permalink

  18. 5. Make or install a pond – this is great for wildlife… which if my understanding of warminista hysteria is correct, will become a seething breeding ground for Nile River fever carrying mosquitos, when its not a dust bowl.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 09 06 at 09:07 AM • permalink

  19. so how do these permalinkies work then?  anyone care to explain in words of one syllable?

    Posted by KK on 2007 09 06 at 09:15 AM • permalink

  20. Make or install a pond? Why bother? Global warming will do that for you.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 09 06 at 09:15 AM • permalink

  21. #19 KK. Permalinks are the same as other URLs, and the one you used is correct. You stuffed up the link, however.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 09 06 at 09:20 AM • permalink

  22. #14, #17 the performance may have impressed the media, but here in the real world of Oz we hate show-offs with a passion. Kevni’s little “look at me, how clever I am, I can speak Mandarin” stunt won no points from the plebs. Imagine him down at my local. Mandarin would cut no ice. They all speak swahili by lunchtime.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 09 06 at 09:21 AM • permalink

  23. It is easy to install a pond. Start with one swimming pool ....

    Posted by Pa Feral on 2007 09 06 at 09:23 AM • permalink

  24. #17

    wonder if he greeted Hu with “Australia and China are enjoying simultaneous orgasms in their relationship,” this time

    bit of a projection issue there, confusing himself with the country

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 09 06 at 09:24 AM • permalink

  25. #22 mareeS

    They all speak swahili by lunchtime.

    I didn’t know such racism was allowed on this blog.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 09 06 at 09:26 AM • permalink

  26. #22
    They all speak swahili by lunchtime.
    With Kevni, it’s Omertà.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 09 06 at 09:28 AM • permalink

  27. Who knew I was so ahead of my time when I helped run the Committee to Pave the Lawn at Virginia all those years ago?

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 09 06 at 09:31 AM • permalink

  28. Why install a pond when we should cover our pool or spa to save water?

    Why try to minimise the watering needed but also attempt to maximise drainage?

    Why plant Australian natives when the climate is changing? Surely many non-native plants will be better suited to a new climate.

    Why grow our own food? A small vegetable patch must waste more water than large-scale operations run by professionals. And the plants in the patch won’t be the natives that Garrett recommends.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 09 06 at 09:41 AM • permalink

  29. Peter Paver plotted patios with potted plants,
      Patios with potted plants Peter Piper plotted.
      If Peter Piper plotted patios with potted plants,
    how many potted plants did Peter Paver pipe?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 09 06 at 09:48 AM • permalink

  30. Just noticed that the reason to grow your own food is to reduce your carbon foot print. In that case, I recommend suckling at the breast of your female coworkers. That way, it’s permissible to work alone with them and it’s not your carbon footprint, it’s theirs!

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 09 06 at 09:52 AM • permalink

  31. #29 eeniemeenie. Quattordici.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 09 06 at 09:54 AM • permalink

  32. Start with herbs?!?  I thought we were supposed to just say no to that business.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 09 06 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  33. Wow.  Whenever I get depressed at the egregious stupidity of our ‘Murican pols, you guys come come along and one-up us.

    Well done, Oz.  Now where is the rest of the Anglosphere?

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 09 06 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  34. Hmmmm.

    Grow your own food?

    Has this idiot ever actually tried that?

    Between bugs, rodents, rabbits and a host of other crap that you have to deal with farming is a real pain in the ass.  Even having a garden can be a pain in the ass particularly if you have rocky soil when you have to sift through the soil to remove the rocks.

    And all of this by hand to avoid hurting Gaia?

    Screw that.  I farm for my food.  I farm in the supermarket.  Anybody doesn’t like it can stuff it.

    Posted by memomachine on 2007 09 06 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  35. Grow your own food - start with herbs.

    Speaking on behalf of the Socialist Herbmongers Coalition, we object in the strongest possible terms! Boycott Garrett’s music!

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 09 06 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  36. He’s right. Why, many’s the time I’ve been glad to have my emergency herb supply tucked away…

    Posted by mojo on 2007 09 06 at 03:14 PM • permalink

  37. OK, we paved paradise, but the bastids wouldn’t let us have any cars for the parking lot…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 09 06 at 03:47 PM • permalink

  38. Mine’s already paved. It’s called m-o-u-n-t-a-i-n. Only damn thing that grows here is in raised beds.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 09 06 at 04:13 PM • permalink

  39. Parts of Melbourne were into paving decades ago. Pave entire front garden and paint it green.  It’s known as ‘Greek lawn’.

    Make or install a pond - except you’re not allowed to fill it because of the Green-induced water restrictions. Brilliant.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 09 06 at 05:37 PM • permalink

  40. I just told my mother this important bit of news, her response?

    “Isn’t about time he went back to pretending to be a spastic?”

    Posted by Looneyc on 2007 09 06 at 05:40 PM • permalink

  41. #40
    Looneyc
    I think she’s right, but it’s
    “Isn’t it about time he stopped pretending to be a politician.”

    Posted by kae on 2007 09 06 at 05:48 PM • permalink

  42. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qgev7VwD_4&mode=related&search;=


    APEC’eeeeerrrrrs, here’s something for you about Australia…

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 09 06 at 07:53 PM • permalink

  43. “Have less lawn and more (plants or) paving”

    But, but, please Sir?

    I thought that your fellow environmental fear mongers preach that the large quantity of concrete in buildings, slabs, pavings etc etc. concentrated round cities, towns and wherever humans congregate are significant contributors to global warmening because they absorbed so much of the heat of the sun. It is for this reason we are told that generally speaking temperature measures round such human “congregations” are a significant number of degrees warmer than over green areas:  and lawn is green. So which is right to help the environment: more green grass or more concrete slabs and pavers?.

    Posted by LaVallette on 2007 09 06 at 10:26 PM • permalink

  44. Hmm, I can’t believe nobody asked who sung the lines:
    And a carpark lay streched where the bindis used to be” like it was a bad thing?

    Posted by entropy on 2007 09 06 at 10:35 PM • permalink

  45. He needs to spend a little thyme with Basil and has bean such a leek not to know Basil needs so much water, his beans will do a runner to seed if too little moisture. Tom Ato also very thirsty little b—-er however Art Ichoke thrives in the dry and Chard will beet the silver out of you. Broc Coli great source of cheap protein , cooked in salt water all those little caterpillars make great additions to the pasta along with Basil who by now is decidedly wilted.

    Ask Kevie about Broads he’s bean where the favvers are, along with some sweet peas who also wind round Poles when they should only stick with Australian Mandarins which need no water just 75% proof alchohol

    Posted by Hillyminx on 2007 09 06 at 11:14 PM • permalink

  46. Peter Garrett demonstrates once again that the left hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing.

    If you live along the Murray River, you cannot grow anything because there is a complete ban on watering anything outside. Labor politicians made this decision.

    It has been dry but the real cause of the the water shortage is a combination of Labor politicians refusing to build dams and Labor politicians, notably Neville Wran when he was NSW premier, selling drought busting water reserves.

    Wran was so desperate to spend, spend and spend he tapped into cash reserves held by a swag of bureaucracies to fund future projects such as dams, power stations and highways. When his raiders reached the rural water supply department, all they found was millions of dollars worth of drought insurance - which Labor sold to cotton growers.

    That is the real scandal in the present dry spell.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 09 07 at 04:07 AM • permalink

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