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PANDAS PREVAIL
CBS News, January 2003:
They are soft, furry and all but extinct. Today there are only about a thousand pandas left in the world, reports CBS News Correspondent Barry Petersen. A few dozen are in zoos.
Blame man for encroaching on once wild parts of China and destroying their habitat. And, as more of China’s wilderness disappears, so do more of the pandas.
Reuters, June 2006:
Scientists say giant pandas may not be in as much danger of extinction as feared, with a new British-Chinese study finding there could be twice as many living in the wild as previously thought.
“This finding indicates that the species may have a significantly better chance of long-term viability than recently anticipated, and that this beautiful animal may have a brighter future,” the scientists said in a statement.
As a Professor Bruford warns, however: “It doesn’t mean the panda is out of the woods by any stretch of the imagination.” Quite so; it means the pandas are in the woods. Which is kind of what people were hoping for.
(Via allan)
But what about the panda bear skulls? Are they making good their escape?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 19 at 11:22 PM • permalinkDrowning polar bears cannibalising pandas?
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 06 19 at 11:26 PM • permalinkThe bear patrols are working:
Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
Lisa: That’s the homeowner tax.
Homer: Well anyway, I’m still outraged!
Homer: Ah, not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm!
Lisa: That’s specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, honey.
Lisa: By your logic, I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away!
Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn’t work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It’s just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don’t see any tigers around here, do you?
Homer: (Looks around) Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 06 19 at 11:39 PM • permalinkPanda’s are fat, lazy animals, primarily because they sit on their arses all day munching bamboo which gives the just enough kilojoules to scratch their balls occasionally. Even mating is a chore. They are too lazy/uninterested to procreate that one zoo has resorted to
Panda porn to get things going.
Pandas, Pah!
Maybe Barney Gumble is being an accessory to being a panda bear
That would sure give the panda count inflated numbers.
Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 06 19 at 11:43 PM • permalinkAlburyShifton - you actually from Albury?
Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 06 19 at 11:44 PM • permalinkOh, this environmental pandemonium has been surely averted by the profligate use of the panda ammonium bicarbonate. Hello, Panda!
8. Dunno Cuckoo, but you can see why it wasn’t “does a polar bear shit in the ice?” That might put you off your gin and tonic.
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 06 20 at 12:21 AM • permalinkWhat the hell is it with the bears? I like bears as much as the next fella, but it seems that every other story is about the buggers and I’m wondering why the ecofreaks have become hung up on them. Does no one give a damn anymore about snail darters? How about that freakin’ spotted owl? Surely there’s a bacterium or virus that’s about to bite the dust.
They are soft, furry and all but extinct…Blame man for encroaching on once wild parts of China and destroying their habitat.
I blame the pandas - for eating massive amounts of their habitat, for only carrying one cub, and for being utterly uninterested in copulating to produce more. This loser is an evolutionary dead end.
No wonder they have trouble breeding, Pandas must have a terrible domestic violence problem. How else do you account for all the black eyes.
Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 06 20 at 12:34 AM • permalinkSaltydog,
Bears are anthropomorphic. That means they look cuddly. From a sufficient distance. Don’t breathe too deeply, but that isn’t a problem on teevee.
The Greens have finally figured out that no even semi-sane person gives a damn about fish too small to fry or weeds with names ending in -wort. Bears walking around on their hind legs and kissing their babies make good propaganda. That’s why the Pandamonium. They look like stuffed animals, and every sophomoric student who slept with a teddy bear as a child is a potential convert and voter.
As a special bonus, even rightists have a soft spot for bears. They eat hippie hikers, thoughtfully peeling the Spandex™ off first, and thus earn our admiration three times: once for helping out, once for manual dexterity, and once for being tough enough to endure the stench.
So bears make good teevee. I don’t advise trying to make their closer acquaintance unless your lucky charm has a caliber beginning with “4” or greater (English measure) or two digits (metric).
Regards,
Ric#5- Sing Sing didn’t need any beary jazz mags to inspire him to partake in a chocolate cha-cha with Homer- maybe they prefer morbisly obese, bald and gassy cartoon characters to real-life fat female pandas with bamboo breath and more dags than a Big Brother audition.
I think this is another example of the panda-ring by the media to critter calamity cretins.
Remember Fight Club?,
” I want to put a bullet through the head of every animal that wont fuck to save its own species.” I think that’s how it goes.Posted by Daniel San on 2006 06 20 at 02:13 AM • permalinkAlburyShifton - you actually from Albury?
Nope - my screen-name’s kind of a family nickname.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 06 20 at 03:56 AM • permalinkPopulate the forests and zoos with plastic pandas living in harmony with plastic turkeys.
Posted by perfectsense on 2006 06 20 at 04:52 AM • permalinkIf pandas are in trouble when they are not out of the woods that means being IN the woods is harmful, right?
So we must cut the trees down. This will, de facto, get them out of the woods. The surplus land can then be used for a nice bitumen car park. This will give the pandas good lines of sight for predators nor will they get lost in those pesky bamboo thickets.
With the paper taken from the slaughtered trees we will print style manuals for the guidance of those who wish to avoid malaprop cliches.
Works out kinda well, I reckon.
Sorry, (There I said it)
This will not do!!!!!!
We will have total destruction of all furry animals( apart from Kysar Trad and all the fuury faced fools)
I recommend that the U.N. send out hunting parties( armed with rolled up minutes of Security council recommendations) to kill the damned bears.
We can’t have good news stories.
Bears will not multiply!!!
What will Al Gore have to talk about?
It will all be worth it for actuation of the coming one world government!!
Now we know why Walter Lantz never made any Randy Panda cartoons. Such a
hornpandahorndog character would have been totally fabricated & out of line with Pandaland reality. With ‘reality based’ characters like notorious cannibal Chilly Willy and “Wendigo” Wally Walrus, Lantz beat Al Gore to the punch by 50 years or so. There’s an inconvienent truth.Speaking of bears…
A cute, little bunny rabbit stops off at the long drop dunny. There’s a small hole, a medium hole and a huge hole. The bunny squats over the middle hole.
The bunny is doing his thing when a large bear lumbers into the dunny. He looks at the bunny as he squats over the large hole, and asks
“Does the shit stick to your fur?”
The terrified bunny gulps and replies, shakily,
“Er, no.”
“Good.” replies the bear as he sweeps up the rabbit and wipes his bum with him.** when relating this story in person the action is performed after the “Good.”
We will be in trouble when bears learn to drive and use fire. The day is coming.
http://cnn.netscape.cnn.com/news/story.jsp?idq=/ff/story/0001/20060619/2119669603.htm... there could be twice as many living in the wild as previously thought.
See, it’s them hardy rustic redneck pandas in the woods what’s reproducin’. It’s them nancyboy metrosexual city zoo pandas what can’t get it up…
Of course, if them rural pandas embrace Islam that will just give Mark Steyn one more thing to worry about…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 20 at 09:46 AM • permalinkIf Pandas tasted good, competent people would raise them.
Posted by Andy Freeman on 2006 06 20 at 11:18 AM • permalink#32: Speaking of Al Gore (if we must), he has declined to endorse Joe Liberman in the latter’s run for re-election in the Senate.
Also a bit O/T: the chief military investigator has determined that there was no cover-up at Haditha (per the LA times), and the two bodies of the missing U.S. servicemen have been found (details gruesome). And “Yellow Jack” Murtha is naturally continuing to call for “redeployment”. Dick. I think there’s now a blog dedicated to getting rid of him.
Speaking of Al Gore, I saw a funny kevin drum post.
#41: I had forgotten where I found it, but a quick search turned it up (via My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy). Here you go.
#35, paco, you don’t happen to have a link to that dump-Murtha blog, do you? I’d love to contribute in any way possible to getting rid of that treasonous bastard.—Posted by RebeccaH
Rebecca, knowing paco, he probably made that up to make himself appear informed.
If you’re thinking for a way to help those people who oppose Congressman Murtha, I heartily recommend you sending a note of appreciation to Jean Schmidt. Jean is a Congresswoman who represents Cincinnati. She fought a slugfest of an election last year against a former Gulf War veteran, a darling of the left. She then came out slugging still more, castigating Murtha for his treasonous statements. She has been soundly trashed by the leftwing voices in Cincinnati and elsewhere. But conservatives love her.
Here’s her web site. A note of appreciation or even a tainted campaign donation from Buddhist temple funds would be helpful.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 06 20 at 02:57 PM • permalinkHere’s the typical leftwing take on Jean Schmidt, in response to her attack on Murtha.
To which I say: GOOD. GLAD TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE JEAN.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 06 20 at 03:08 PM • permalinkYes, I believe this was one of Kos’s victories. Paul Hackett is a war veteran who ran on the Democratic ticket. He almost defeated Schmidt in a predominantly Republican voter base. Consequenlty, the MSM trumpeted that as the beginning of the end for the Bush presidency. Piffle.
Here’s an excellent column by a very excellent columnist, Peter Bronson, about Jean. Please remember that name. He’s a local version of Mark Steyn and writes excellent and humorous columns about the antics of the left.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 06 20 at 03:20 PM • permalinkHello, I started the “Dump Murtha Blog” called Murtha Must Go! I’m a dad of a deployed Iraqi Freedom Soldier, and I could no longer abide by his seditious rhetoric.
Posted by Psycmeistr on 2006 06 20 at 03:35 PM • permalinkDammit, someone beat me to the Fight Club quote.
On the whole, I’m with those with no use for the furry freeloaders. If they can’t learn to eat more than one type of grass and can’t be bothered to screw once in a while, then bollocks to ‘em. If they were ugly, they could vanish from the globe tomorrow and not even Al Gore would notice or care.
Posted by WingDynasty on 2006 06 20 at 03:59 PM • permalinkPsycmeistr
Obviously your son, as in all those who protect our freedoms NOW and will in the future, including Vets on Tim’s Blog and at least one active duty 3rd pull in Iraq, (I believe) Texas Bob...COME(s) FROM GREAT FAMILY STOCK.
Bless all of you.
Oh yeah and of course those who start “Blogs” dedicated to getting rid of the UN-American Left who/whom pray for the U.S. to fail.
From #28’s link:
Skelton said bears in the suburbs north of Vancouver have been coming out of hibernation as hungry as ever but later than usual but this spring because of a heavier than normal snowpack from the winter.
More proof of Global Warming™!
Or not.
I blame George Bush.
Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2006 06 20 at 04:28 PM • permalinkAnyone remember a comedy sketch many years ago which at the time I thought was one of the funniest I have seen. I think it was on an English show (Not the Nine O’clock news maybe…scratch head.)
Two big Pandas in a zoo. Standing in front of a tunnel entrance. Conversation starts.
Panda 1 – The tunnel is almost finished to get out of here.
Panda 2 – That’s great but lets practice our cover story again.
Panda 1 (Using a obviously fake French accent)- I am Jacque from Dieppe and going to visit my mother in Paris…….Oh no, I just cant do it (shaking his head), my accent will give me away.Something like that anyway.
Could not stop laughing for days.
Posted by The Big Fish on 2006 06 20 at 06:14 PM • permalinkOT—truthout (James Taranto’s suggests for a motto: “If you want the truth, get out of here”) stands back up:
What appears to have happened is that - and this is where Truthout blundered - in our haste to report the indictment we never considered the possibility that Patrick Fitzgerald would not make an announcement. We simply assumed - and we should not have done so - that he would tell the press. He did not. Fitzgerald appears to have used the indictment, and more importantly, the fear that it would go public, to extract information about the Plame outing case from Rove.
snip
The electronic communication from Fitzgerald to Luskin, coming immediately on the heels of our Monday morning, June 12 article “Sealed vs. Sealed” that became the basis for the mainstream media’s de facto exoneration of Karl Rove was, our sources told us, negotiated quickly over the phone later that afternoon. Luskin contacted Fitzgerald, reportedly providing concessions that Fitzgerald considered to be of high value, and Fitzgerald reportedly reciprocated with the political cover Rove wanted in the form of a letter that was faxed to Luskin’s office.
Our sources provided us with additional detail, saying that Fitzgerald is apparently examining closely Dick Cheney’s role in the Valerie Plame matter, and apparently sought information and evidence from Karl Rove that would provide documentation of Cheney’s involvement. Rove apparently was reluctant to cooperate and Fitzgerald, it appears, was pressuring him to do so, our sources told us.
The gist seems to be that Rove, to save his own skin, is selling out the Vice President. Yeah, that’s believable.
Please return now to your regular programming.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 20 at 06:55 PM • permalinkPandas always remind me of Collingwood.
They remind me of PVP.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 06 20 at 08:39 PM • permalinkABC news (in the US) is asking people to write in with their stories about global warming:
Global Warming Affecting Your Life? E-Mail Us
ABC News wants to hear from you. We’re currently producing a report on the increasing changes in our physical environment, and are looking for interesting examples of people coping with the differences in their daily lives. Has your life been directly affected by global warming?
We want to hear and see your stories. Have you noticed changes in your own backyard or hometown? The differences can be large or small — altered blooming schedules, unusual animals that have arrived in your community, higher water levels encroaching on your property.
Seymour Butts from Florida wrote in and complained about all the polar bear refugees arriving in his neighbourhood from the previously frozen north.
I think we should all help ABC news with this worthy endeavour…
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 06 20 at 10:21 PM • permalinkThis link is probably better:
Witnessing the Impact of Global Warming in Your Life?
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 06 20 at 10:23 PM • permalinkYou never hear a word about molluscs. Not everything can have big brown eyes and keep the cold away from Gisele Bundchen. A mollusc can feel threatened too. And they have IQs which go off the scale.
More muscular limpets have saved drowning swimmers; the mussel gives anonymously; the cuttlefish’ trump is empathy; oysters are big readers. It is little known that the whole phylum mollusca struggles with depression.
But who cares about that?
Yes indeed.
For that matter what about the Poriferans?
They have been sitting around quietly since the Late Precambrian Period and no one has ever heard a single complaint from them despite their ignominious treatment. In fact they have no mouths, having abandoned the need for speech an aeon or two ago.
They breed by hermaphroditic sexual reproduction and therefore have nothing to talk about. Most hang around the same place all their lives so they have nothing to fight about. They only trade sperm and eggs, each individual produces both, and that trade is in an open market place so they have no need of a legal system. Fossil evidence shows the last known Poriferan lawyer went out of business 500,000 years ago.
So who takes the case of these highly advanced animals? You never hear a word from the press about these stoic, tolerant and peace-loving folk.
#71 Indeed
A little water colour painting, depth permitting, does wonders, they tell me.#73
Poriferans got there well before us, geoff. No gossiping or talking trash, no resort to chatrooms or singles bars and no resort to lawyers. Evolution, if I may be cheekily teleological, climaxed 541997994 years ago.Tim, you have to stop Panda-ing to this cheer squad of invective addicted, boot-putting-in, how should I put this? ... Blogophiles.
If you want to be taken as seriously as The Age, you will have to knuckle down to some proper, fact checked, reality based treatises on racism, multiculturalism and human rights. And Howard is the new Hitler, again!48
snurk snurk
He said “piffle.” ksnksnksnksnksnk!!Posted by Huck Foley on 2006 06 22 at 10:23 PM • permalink
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Sorry, I don’t understand. Does that mean that pandas are drowning like the polar bears?
Is the earth warming, thinning the ice and allowing pandas to slip beneath the seas?
Aweful!!
I thank Al Gore for bringing this truth to light.