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OTHER WAYS NOT MENTIONED
The New York Times reports:
One way to collect nasal secretions from a ferret is to anesthetize it, hold a petri dish under its snout and squirt a little salt water up its nose so that it will sneeze into the dish.
Well, sure. That’s one way.
And why exactly do we even want to collect nasal secretions from a ferret?
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 29 at 01:46 PM • permalinkThe body of the elderly lady was found in the kitchen, next to a bag of Purina Ferret Food. It was a grisly scene: hundreds of small, but deep, gashes; she had almost literally been chewed to death. Judging by her knarled hands, she suffered from severe arthritis, and was apparently unable to open the bag of ferret food quickly enough to satisfy - the primary suspect, whose snot is being subjected to DNA analysis.
That’s probably the reason. Or maybe they just look cute when they sneeze.
And why exactly do we even want to collect nasal secretions from a ferret?
I take it you’re unfamiliar with French cuisine.
Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 03 29 at 02:12 PM • permalinkIf you really want to see a weasel sneeze, grab a handful of pepper and throw it at James Carville.
Posted by N. O'Brain on 2006 03 29 at 02:43 PM • permalinkI sort of picture the spice weasel from Futurama here.
Posted by Matt in Denver on 2006 03 29 at 02:44 PM • permalinkI’m glad the Times is covering the key issues of our day, giving short shrift to the extraneous nonsense that excites others.
Posted by Monroe Doctrine on 2006 03 29 at 03:07 PM • permalinkHere we are approaching Easter and the NYT can’t resist talking about the ferret sneezes…
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 03 29 at 03:36 PM • permalinkGeorge Clooney movies - yes; but for th sake fo all that is decent, never show a ferret a Richard Gere movie! Unless you want them in your arse!
Posted by crusher_of_libs on 2006 03 29 at 04:21 PM • permalinkThe poor reporter has to come up with some hook for a lede, given a pointless story to do.
Draw in animal lovers.
Next week : ferret diets.
My own favorite lede (AP)
DELTA JUNCTION, Alaska—The Humvee’s headlights shone incredibly bright, casting daylight clarity on a line of spruce trees, every needle standing out in stark contrast to the dark night of Alaska’s interior.
which prose was eaten shortly afterwards by polar bears.
It’s faster and easier to just suck its nose.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2006 03 29 at 05:24 PM • permalinkMr. Bingley
Here we are approaching Easter and the NYT can’t resist talking about the ferret sneezes
Happy Easter soon.
Actually, I thought the Energizer Bunny had finally drained its battery and it had been replaced, but no, it’s the Easter Ferret....:).
Another way is to wait ultill it’s drinking milk then tell it the New Orleans Saints won the superbowl.
Talking of Wolverines, Dave Letterman had a baby Wolverine on his show with it’s animal handler. Dave billed it as ‘POUND FOR POUND, THE MOST FEROCIOUS ANIMAL ON EARTH!’.
It was awful cute, but we got a glimps of it’s future cussedness when Ranger Bob or Rick or whatever tried to demonstarate it’s amazing swimming skills by shoving it into a wading pool. It braced it’s furry little paws on the rim and wouldn’t go in, so we were treated to the image of a fully grown man trying to jam a small furry animal head first into a tub of water.
Since it’s head was near the pool’s surface it started lapping it up. “Thirsty sumbitch, ain’t he?’ commented Dave
There is another way, but it qualifies as creating a hostile workplace environment under most sexual harrassment legislation…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 29 at 09:13 PM • permalinkWhat would be one way to get nasal secretions from scent-happy Carolyn Wyatt
I mean, I know a way but it involves a cherry bomb and a rawhide mallet…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 29 at 09:55 PM • permalinkI got a mop… does that count?
*sniff* Smells like wet ferret....
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2006 03 29 at 11:26 PM • permalinkWay O/T but start rioting now. see link below
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200603/s1604441.htm
a cartoon in Indonesia portaying Howard and Downer as dogs mounting each other
Posted by the nailgun on 2006 03 29 at 11:39 PM • permalinkMarkL at 19
Spot on. I’d pay good money to see a scientifical type try to desnot a wild mongoose.
Even that fearsome “jihad rooster” from a few posts back wouldn’t have lasted 30 seconds. Richard Gere might last a bit longer, but he’d ultimately end up </drum hit> looking like a used prop from Alien.
The ferret angle is hilarious but in reading the article to get a lead on something humorous to say (difficult when the writer was so unintentionally funny) I came across this gem:
“everything could change if the virus were to mutate in a way that made it easier for people to catch and spread”. This is the sort of rubbish that makes MSM look worse than the national enquirer. It could also change if the virus mutated and just...went away. There is an equal chance of both occurences.
"Let’s give the ferret a run”, is a verbal form of foreplay Oz males use in order to stimulate their partner.
(#38) Meanwhile, I’m dusting off my “hoWARd = Hitler” and “Stuff your democracy” signs so that I can peacefully participate in the inevitable protests, riots, arson, beheadings etc opposing these infidel dingo cartoon people in Indonesia.
..er no, perhaps they’re not the right ones. I think I’ve got some others here ... rummage,..rummage…
Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 03 30 at 01:04 AM • permalinkThis technique works on Tasmanian Devils as well, but afterwards they rape, kill and eat your pets, just to send a message.
Posted by Aaron - Freewill on 2006 03 30 at 01:38 AM • permalinkMonkeyfan — We wound up using weaselss when filming the Richard Gere Story. We wanted to use gerbils for authenticity but we couldn’t score any in time, and you know what they say, any stoat in a porn…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 30 at 02:06 AM • permalinkAnyone here listening to the 2GB Continuous Call Team last Sunday? Darryl Brohman retold a story of a picnic where ferrets where involved, and of course, the term "giving the ferret a run" came up. The top rating Sydney radio station had several commentators in fits for 15 minutes, big boofy blokes giggling like school kids. Yes, I laughed too. A very Australian term, dontcha think?
I listen to 2GB as well as the ABC. But I think Warren Ryan on 2BL is one of the best league radio commentators around.
I suppose people outside of NSW and QLD are thinking WTF?
Rebeccah — Mongooses aren’t primates. Are you trying to take this thread OT?
Andrea!
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 30 at 11:33 PM • permalink23. Amos
I remember that episode. As I recall they had two wolverine cubs, and they were all over the place. You got exhausted just watching them.
Then there was the time a pair of tortoises made the connection on Dave’s desk.
Posted by mythusmage on 2006 04 03 at 07:11 AM • permalink
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Show ferrets George Clooney movies, (endlessly) until the poor little shits tear up and have to blow their noses
Ummmm, should take about 30 seconds MAX.
Saves anesthesia and the possible problems thereof, and for damn sure saves the hands of the stupid bastard that has to hold the ferret when the saltwater is squirted up its nose.
In the name of full disclosure, I do own stock in Kimberly-Clark KLEENEX® .