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ONLY 95 DAYS TO GO

Mary Potratz of Norridgewock writes to Maine’s Morning Sentinel:

The current White House resident is probably planning another four-hour trip to Iraq so he can have his picture taken while holding up a large tray with a plastic turkey and trimmings on it.

December 6 marks the plastic turkey’s second birthday. Begin planning global turkey celebrations now!

Posted by Tim B. on 09/01/2005 at 10:59 AM
  1. Inbred idiocy is rampant among the Fourth Estate cubicle drones, isn’t it? I think an enormous, well-funded government program should be created to investigate possible solutions.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2005 09 01 at 12:18 PM • permalink

  2. Let’s bake a plastic cake to celebrate!

    Posted by jic on 2005 09 01 at 12:18 PM • permalink

  3. *headdesk*

    Posted by Nic White on 2005 09 01 at 12:29 PM • permalink

  4. Google has no less than 5490 hits for Bush’s magical plastic turkey.

    Posted by Nic White on 2005 09 01 at 12:32 PM • permalink

  5. But what would we serve at such a feast?

    Posted by Mike G on 2005 09 01 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  6. Nic, what’s interesting in your Google search is that Tim’s blog comes up as #2.

    Tim, maybe you need to use a slightly altered term, like “pl@stic turk@y”.  You’re stacking the odds!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 09 01 at 12:53 PM • permalink

  7. Better plastic turkeys than spastic journalists.

    Posted by paco on 2005 09 01 at 01:20 PM • permalink

  8. Another plastic turkey sighting at Mother Jones: http://www.motherjones.com/mojoblog/archives/2005/08/24/

    Posted by lewisinnyc on 2005 09 01 at 03:00 PM • permalink

  9. It’s going to take me 95 days to think of one clever new thing to say about that plastic turkey.

    But I’ll do it.

    Posted by ForNow on 2005 09 01 at 04:16 PM • permalink

  10. bUSh (d4rk heARt OF FACIST!! US) KKKarVEs A bLEEDinG pLaStiC (MadE FRom OILL!!L!L!) tUrKeY EVery dAY to makE zIONisT MAtSOS!

    nO pLasTIC bLOOd fOr OIll!!!

    Posted by Rob Read on 2005 09 01 at 05:06 PM • permalink

  11. I am pleased to announce that I have written to The Moaning Sentinal Online (Maine) on this absurd subject, as follows:

    Furthering a hoax

    This is in reference to a letter to The Sentinal Online, Tuesday, the 30th.  This letter writer and your paper has since become widely read (and abused) around the Internet.  The writer, from Norridgewock, was Mary “I am a Plastic Turkey” Potratz.  Let me explain why this honorific is well deserved.  First of all it does not matter the she is an ideologue of a major party.  What matters is that in comparing mass murder by terrorists in England with some political posturings (and possible criminal activities) in D. C. is pretty much a matter of comparing apples with Aardvarks.  That’s bad enough, but there’s more.

          The writer redeposits the ‘urban myth’ about a plastic turkey having been served by President Bush (2 year anniversary coming up).  This myth has become so widespread that it taken on the character of a willful hoax.  It has been spread primarily by the media and speechifiers in the US, furthered by the same suspects worldwide.  Seems a matter of sloppy fact checking. or perhaps gleeful lying. 

          No such plastic turkey was posed with that Thanksgiving in Iraq.  The hoax was analyzed and disproven long ago.  The bird was a gussied up real turkey, a centerpiece later gorged on by the serving staff, who have told us so.  An Australian editor and blogger has tried to keep up with this spreading hoax.  He is at http://timblair.net/ - where you and Mary “IAaPT” Potratz can go for a long list of journalists, and for your spanking.  Or you could go to Snopes.com, but that wouldn’t be near as much fun.

    Posted by Gerry on 2005 09 01 at 05:51 PM • permalink

  12. I’m too wearied by the disaster at home, and by this subsequent assholery of some of my fellow Americans to think of anything sarcastic to say about the plastic turkey.  That particular canard is here to stay, because some people revel in their own stupidity.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 09 01 at 06:10 PM • permalink

  13. There’s a plastic turkey farm just down the road from me. The owner, Tom, told me while back that the plastic turkey market has really bottomed out. He’s hoping President Bush will pose with a plastic turkey in Iraq, again this year. The press coverage really gave the market a boost last year.

    Oh,BTW. He also told me to tell all of you non-believers to “Go jump in a lake! Our President knows a good turkey when he sees one!”

    Well, you have to know Tom.

    Posted by rinardman on 2005 09 01 at 06:11 PM • permalink

  14. Is it a coincidence that the same people who believe Bush’s turkey wasn’t real are often the same people who believe that Al Qaeda isn’t real?

    Posted by Ross on 2005 09 01 at 06:25 PM • permalink

  15. Hmm, plastic Bin Laden…

    Posted by PW on 2005 09 01 at 06:29 PM • permalink

  16. Money-making opportunity for readers of this blog only!

    Raise plastic turkeys at home for fun and profit! These lovable lil’ critters are the most easy to manage livestock you’ll ever see! Big money supplying plastic turkeys to:
    -The military;
    -Amusement park turkey shoot booths;
    -Pond owners.
    And big media can’t seem to hire enough of them! Bag big bux broadcasting bogus birds! Just send $29.95 US in cash, third-party check, or stamps to:
            -Amazing Plastic Turkey Farm
            PO Box 16232512
            Old Cave In Woods, Michigan, USA
    The price of these lil’ fellers is sure to go up with the oil squeeze! Do it today! CNN is forecasting tomorrow’s appearance as “doubtful!” Don’t miss this offer!

    Note: Not available in states or countries with stringent penalities for mail fraud.

    Posted by Rob C. on 2005 09 01 at 06:29 PM • permalink

  17. $29.95 for a realistic plastic turkey? Now that’s a fraud.

    Posted by ForNow on 2005 09 01 at 06:36 PM • permalink

  18. Rob C.

    LMAO!

    Look I have a long lost Canadian Dutch Boar war vet “cousin”-in Rwanda who has diamonds that keep getting in the “way” of his potato farming-

    As soon as I settle that I can send you the $29.95…

    Plastic Turkey farming- sounds easier than Ostrich ranching in Oklahoma….but can you make a pair of boots outta them?

    Posted by madawaskan on 2005 09 01 at 07:14 PM • permalink

  19. #12 If nothing else, the natural disaster that Hurricane Whatshername has wrought in Louisiana and Mississippi, and the human disaster on the Bagdad bridge, highlight the incredible feat of arms that the Iraq operation was, and is, for the US and her coalition allies. Fewer than 2000 fatalities in the US ranks is astonishing given what their forces were asked to do. Small consolation for those who have endured the losses, I know, but it does help to keep the claims of those who cry “quagmire” in proportion.

    Posted by larrikin on 2005 09 01 at 07:31 PM • permalink

  20. Norridgewock?
    Kim Jong Il’s Advertising Agency?

    Posted by blogstrop on 2005 09 01 at 09:00 PM • permalink

  21. Naw, if Bush wants to boost plastic turkey sales, he’s gonna haveta ramp up his game and pose with a plastic turkey in New Orleans…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 09 01 at 09:39 PM • permalink

  22. Rob C.

    The price of these lil’ fellers is sure to go up with the oil squeeze!

    No Blood for Plastic!

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2005 09 01 at 10:04 PM • permalink

  23. OR ‘Mary Notratz of Porridgewock’?

    Posted by Barrie on 2005 09 02 at 08:53 PM • permalink

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