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OFFICIALLY VIOLENT

Martin G. emails:

I downloaded some protect-your-kids net-blocker software that the Australian Government has offered free to Australian netizens. The one I downloaded was called Intergard.

I then went to enjoy your blog and, to my horror, discovered that you are now classified as violent.

I am sorry, but I cannot ever visit your site again because of the physical or psychological trauma that may ensue.

Yours pacificistically,

Martin

Posted by Tim B. on 10/28/2007 at 08:20 AM

  1. Yeah baby!

    Posted by Nic on 2007 10 28 at 08:40 AM • permalink

  2. Most pro-Howard site on the net and they do label it thusly?? Talk about biting the hand that feeds one!

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 10 28 at 08:44 AM • permalink

  3. Martin G.
    You have a choice.

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 28 at 08:45 AM • permalink

  4. Maybe it was the “Kill Kyoto” what dunnit.  If you’d only written “Gentle Corrective Therapy Time for Kyoto” everything would be nice.

    Posted by Hero Schema on 2007 10 28 at 08:49 AM • permalink

  5. Now that wussy little kiddies are banned from here by Government Decree, can we talk about guns, grenades, gung-ho armoured vehicles and killing Taliban arseholes?

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 10 28 at 08:58 AM • permalink

  6. cool-adult themes!, can we get some strong language,and full frontal nudity happening here now?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 10 28 at 09:04 AM • permalink

  7. Maybe it was the Zulu Spear that did it. Or the whips. Or the mace. Or the spankings.

    Nah, nothing violent here.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 28 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  8. Tim!

    Surely that classification should have read “violet”, what with Paco’s narrative effusions and Wronwright’s forays into the fantastical.

    Perhaps if you offered all readers a massage, a glass of red and a Valium (not all at once!) your status would change from “violent” to “well-meaning”?

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 10 28 at 09:35 AM • permalink

  9. I don’t know the laws in Australia (to put it mildly) but in the US the government issuing software which blocks political sites is what we call “a lawsuit.”  Not that you’d get the ACLU to help, if it was for a right-leaning site.

    Posted by Mike G on 2007 10 28 at 09:37 AM • permalink

  10. I suspect it’s the Detective Paco episodes.

    Posted by rinardman on 2007 10 28 at 09:55 AM • permalink

  11. #10 Rinardman: You’re probably right. I’ll replace his .38 caliber revolver with a New Testament.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 28 at 10:50 AM • permalink

  12. Intergard is censoring this site for violence? That’s outrageous. If they don’t correct that I’m going to tear their heads off and skull-fuck them.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 28 at 11:12 AM • permalink

  13. #11 Paco, to be on the safe side, you probably should replace the revolver with a koran.

    Don’t want to piss off the sensitive islamies….that could lead to even more violence!

    Posted by rinardman on 2007 10 28 at 11:17 AM • permalink

  14. Global warming has caused Tim’s site to be considered violent!

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 10 28 at 11:29 AM • permalink

  15. That’s what happens when you continually rip the ass off trolls and hand it to them.

    I blame Bush.  Or John HoWARd.  One of those.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 28 at 11:53 AM • permalink

  16. #15 Rebecca: Maybe it’s not so much the ripping off of trolls’ asses as it is the exhibition of them on the iron railings outside of Blair Manor. Although, personally, I find that practice to be a useful object lesson.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 28 at 11:59 AM • permalink

  17. I blame wronwright’s voiceover actor.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 10 28 at 12:15 PM • permalink

  18. #16, the exhibition of them on the iron railings outside of Blair Manor.

    Paco, don’t you mean Andrea’s trophy wall?  We do get a tour now and then, just to keep us in line.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 28 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  19. Gee, nothing for language? WTF gives?

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 10 28 at 02:42 PM • permalink

  20. I wonder how the heck it rates theospark.com.

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 10 28 at 02:58 PM • permalink

  21. With all due respect given to all the lovely folks here, I think the blame can safely be placed on three heads:

    El Cid
    Grimmy
    Habib.

    Me?  I’m innocent as a newborn babe.  The only thing I’ve ever said that could possibly be construed as violent is that I think we ought to nuke most of the Middle East and hang <kof> the “Boobs Not Bombs” broads and all the nekkid bicycle riders.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 10 28 at 03:39 PM • permalink

  22. saltydog, it CANNOT be any of your doing…in fact, none of the other females here can possibly be the cause of such ugly labelling. Everyone knows the female human is kind, gentle, nurturing, loving & peaceful…don’t they? <hack-sputter-gasp>

    Posted by KC on 2007 10 28 at 04:04 PM • permalink

  23. Thankfully, this post reminded me that I had not been to the range in quite some time, and that I had a couple hundred rounds of ammo for my new pistol, purchased expressly for the purpose of increasing my proficiency in handheld mayhem (as opposed to hand to hand mayhem, which I do more frequently). 

    So I drove over there (a 30 mile round trip, thereby increasing my carbon footprint even more), and perforated perfectly innocent paper targets while perfecting my pistol proficiency.

    All because of some Australian software.  What can’t the INTERNET do these days?!?!?!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 28 at 05:19 PM • permalink

  24. Just in case you’ve missed the latest violence.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 10 28 at 05:46 PM • permalink

  25. Conservative blogs often end up blocked in web-protection software.

    Check out the ongoing saga for Littlegreenfootballs.com and websense, as an example.

    Posted by Admonkeystrator on 2007 10 28 at 06:10 PM • permalink

  26. #23 RJ: Man, that sounds like the perfect day!

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 28 at 06:40 PM • permalink

  27. #24 Thanks Dminor. I had missed that.
    My first thought was that comment #133 by tfm may have triggered the nanny-ware blocking, but it was so subtly worded that I very much doubt software or children would detect anything to cause alarm.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2007 10 28 at 07:30 PM • permalink

  28. Thanks, paco, it was!  My proficiency still sucks, but this was a gorgeous fall day, bright blue skies, no wind, and moderate temperatures, and I actually improved my aim!  The pop pop pop of small arms fire was an added zest, I must admit.

    Admonkeystrator, you’ve reminded of a similar occurrence with Tim’s blog.  I was on a road trip, sans computer, so I used the computer in the hotel lobby to check my e-mail and some blogs. 

    Including Tim’s, of course.  Except that I couldn’t, the net-blocker software used by the hotel chain blocked it. 

    What was the stated reason, you ask?

    “Japanese pornography”

    Honest!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 28 at 07:34 PM • permalink

  29. What was the stated reason, you ask?

    “Japanese pornography”

    Uhhhh…Oh, gosh, is that the time already…?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 10 28 at 09:17 PM • permalink

  30. #29: Ah, so, Richard san!

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 28 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  31. I use Integard at home with the level set to young child. Some Tim Blair threads get blocked due to Violence but I can read most. Theo Spark I have to read at work, or change my settings at home (which I am loathe to do, as I need to look after the wee ferals.)

    The amount that is blocked is entirely up to the administrator of the PC, not Big Brother goverment.

    Posted by Pa Feral on 2007 10 28 at 09:40 PM • permalink

  32. #24 Dminor
    Um, I might have had something to do with that, sorry, but I have a rock solid excuse, one HweoSchima.

    That person’s false concern and pious ‘holier than thou’ remarks about the state of a world he hasn’t seen and knows SFA about set my teeth on edge.

    I bet the man is a smirker. I detest smirkers.

    But really, violent? This joint is all peace, love, mung beans and puppies frolicking compared to some of the crap posted on LP, etc.

    Posted by 185600 on 2007 10 29 at 01:25 AM • permalink

  33. #21, saltydog:

    Honestly. I have not struck, gouged, bitten, choked, stabbed or shot anyone associated in any way with this blog, to the best of my knowledge.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 10 29 at 04:07 AM • permalink

  34. Oh, for the love of Pete. A wood-chipper is a commercial lawn care device available at any decent hardware store or gardening center. It requires no special permit or operator’s license. Any nitwit is free to purchase one and potentially lose a limb or two. Just because the thing makes sawdust out of tree limbs or human torsos with equal efficiency does not automatically classify the machine as violent.  And if I ever said anything about hurling idiots into one, I am sure I meant this to be done AFTER they were already dead.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 10 29 at 09:14 AM • permalink

  35. I am sure I meant this to be done AFTER they were already dead.

    Are you sure, TB?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 29 at 09:34 AM • permalink

  36. Yup TRJS, I am. I have the distinct recollection of suggesting that you administer three strong blows to the forehead with a slide-hammer BEFORE pitching them in.
    I mean, throwing someone into a wood chipper while they’re still stealing oxygen would just be heinous.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 10 29 at 10:13 AM • permalink

  37. Yup TRJS, I am.

    Oops…..

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 29 at 10:41 AM • permalink

  38. paco wrote:

    #10 Rinardman: You’re probably right. I’ll replace his .38 caliber revolver with a New Testament.

    Shouldn’t it be a walkie-talkie instead? ;)

    Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 10 29 at 02:01 PM • permalink

  39. grimmy—Nice try, but you left out kicked.

    Busted.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 10 30 at 01:12 AM • permalink

  40. #39, richard mcenroe:

    Hell, I haven’t even glared harshly at anyone.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 10 30 at 12:00 PM • permalink

    41. Page 1 of 1 pages

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