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OCTOBER 16 - FLANNERY DAY
January 6: “A leading Australian scientist believes the world has just 20 years to turn the tide on global warming … ‘We have to make deep, deep reductions in emissions within the next 20 years,’ [Tim Flannery] told The Associated Press in a telephone interview.”
January 17: “Australian scientist Tim Flannery said the world still had ‘one to two decades’ to take action to reduce global warming … ‘We’ve got maybe one to two decades to address the issue.’”
That’s quite a revision from Flannery, and it came in only 11 days. Perhaps this leading Australian scientist will continue upgrading his warnings at similar intervals …
January 28: The world has only 10 years to reverse global warming, or else we all of us surely gonna die.
February 8: We have only five to 10 years in which to address the issue.
February 19: Only five years left, people. Start Kyotoing!
March 2: Two-and-a-half to five years remain to stop The Fatal Warmening.
March 13: Just two-and-a-half years to go …
March 24: If we don’t do something—anything—between the next one-and-a-quarter to two-and-a-half years, Gaia will bring down her globey rage upon us.
April 4: The doomsday clock is now down to just one-and-a-quarter years. Why won’t you act, President Smirkyburton W. Pretzeljesus? Why won’t you save the planet?
April 15: Only 273 days left—possibly one-and-a-quarter years. But that’s it. Beyond there oblivion lies.
April 26: 273 days between us and our fate. Find peace with your maker, earth-wreckers.
May 7: Fixin’ to be dayed in jus’ one-hunnert thirty-six days, you all. Mebbe two-hunnert sevenny-tree, if’n we lucky.
May 18: 136 days left. Let the mass suicides commence.
June 5: 68 days. Please, governments of the world, unite and rescue our holy planet.
June 27: 34 days left. Feel the earth cool, or heat, or cool and heat, or whatever local climate change situation applies in your region. Volcanoes, possibly. Shooting lava icicles into the sky!
July 19: 17 days. Our only hope? Extraterrestrial intervention.
August 10: Eight days until the end. My life’s ambition—airlifting a pod of whales to the Amazon, where they form an elite Nature Constabulary to arrest and prosecute loggers—will never be achieved.
September 1: Four days. Although there’s little point, I call my agent. SBS want me to appear on a new eco-awareness panel show? Hey, great!
September 23: Two days.
October 15: If we don’t take action on this very day to stop global warming …
October 16: AIEEEEEEE!!! THE RAPTURE!!!
The Laffer Curve strikes again - Flannery and friends try to make more and more hay from less and less sun (or should that be they whinge about less and less hay from more and more sun?).
Posted by Bilious Young Fogey on 2006 01 17 at 02:50 AM • permalinkI’ve marked 15 October 2006 on my calendar to take leave from work for some serious partying. This ain’t Y2K, baby, it’s the end of the world!!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 01 17 at 02:56 AM • permalinkLooks like I have to change my plans for the weekend - being the end of the world and all.
Posted by perfectsense on 2006 01 17 at 03:33 AM • permalink"President Smirkyburton W. Pretzeljesus”
LOL, that one is *...Going Straight to the Poolroom.*
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 01 17 at 03:44 AM • permalinkThis is a plot by Peter Garrett to beat Prince’s popular ‘1999’
Lets see:Because of Mc Bush,
There’s no more trees,
better get some gear,
we’re heading for a freeze2006, we’re all gonna die,
Kyoto told it all, Bush told a lie
Hotter than Hades, colder than Mars,
do nothing now, better kiss your arse.Or something like that.
What does it matter anyway, as Tim Flannery says we’ve only got a couple of decades to fix “everything”.
Pretty safe call really: if he’s wrong, who will remember his prediction? if he’s right, we are all dead anyway!
Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 01 17 at 05:13 AM • permalinkIt stuns me how these eco scientists brazenly make it up as they go along. Where the hell do they get off?
What more confirmation do we need that environmentalism is the new religion when vast numbers of ordinary folk lap this crap up unthinkingly?
Posted by James Waterton on 2006 01 17 at 05:28 AM • permalinkAm I missing something? “within the next 20 years” and “maybe one to two decades” mean roughly the same thing to me - or have I read your post wrong?
Posted by dodgyville on 2006 01 17 at 05:32 AM • permalinkhave I read your post wrong?
I think Tim has just bolded both to emphasise that Flannery really does mean 10/20 years, and it wasn’t just a typo/slip of the tongue.
Posted by Quentin George on 2006 01 17 at 06:25 AM • permalink“Australian scientist Tim Flannery said the world still had ‘one to two decades’ to take action to reduce global warming … ‘We’ve got maybe one to two decades to address the issue.’”
He sounds like some kind of minor Bond “goodie” character making a self-sacrificial sat-phone call from deep inside the neo-con lair just prior to being cut down by a hail of uranium tipped bullets.
I can almost hear the diabolical laughter emanating from the Whitehouse.
Listen, is there any chance this guy’s right? If he is, then I might as well liquidate my retirement fund and go buy a Dodge Viper and maybe a motorcycle or two. And if he’s wrong, and I wind up living in a box under an I-95 overpass because I don’t have any more money, I can always sue him, I suppose.
Reminds of one of Clive James’ old columns in the Observer, wherein he took the piss out of Herman Kahn and his predictions by naming a special unit of time the “Kahnie,” as in “ ...in fivetentwennyfifty years...”
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 17 at 11:30 AM • permalinkIt goes without saying that Tim Flannery had a sound scientific basis for changing the time frame from 20 years to 10 years. Or maybe his original estimate was just goofy. Or his new estimate?
This is why Flannery gets those big bucks.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2006 01 17 at 12:04 PM • permalinkAm I missing something? “within the next 20 years” and “maybe one to two decades” mean roughly the same thing to me - or have I read your post wrong?
Well, we are discussing The End Of The World™ here, dodgyville. One scientist says we have until AD 2100, Flannery says no more than 20 years. I mean, if one is going to claim that the end of the world is nigh, and practically tomorrow (on a geologic scale, anyway), you’d expect them to not to waffle on the date.
Further, isn’t the “science” of global warming all about consensus (ask Ender if you don’t believe me)? Flannery and Lovelock don’t have consensus on the date.
Although Flannery and Lovelock do agreed on the results (i.e., the impending doom of the human species from an angry Mother Gaia™), unless we act immediately. That’s a consensus.
I hope that I’ve been of some assistance to you.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 01 17 at 12:43 PM • permalinkThe_Real_JeffS:
Mother Gaia’s a nasty old bitch who deserves a good talking to from social services if she kills all her children in beastly floods and volcanos and earthquakes just cos she gets a bit cross about their wayward ways. Surely the environmental equivalent of putting us over her knee with a wooden spoon across the arse is more appropriate?
Posted by James Waterton on 2006 01 17 at 01:39 PM • permalinkSurely the environmental equivalent of putting us over her knee with a wooden spoon across the arse is more appropriate?
If Mother Gaia™ is a hot chick who wears tight leather pants and haltertop while administering the spanking, yeah, I think that’s appropriate.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 01 17 at 04:44 PM • permalinkOf course, getting them to actually sprecify what the nature of the doom will be is impossible.
Hmmm.....that’s not consensus. Maybe Ender can mediate something, eh?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 01 17 at 04:46 PM • permalinkWho cares? According to Paul Erlich, we all died in the late ‘70s anyway. Which was a pity because we missed out on watching Al Gore’s CPU meltdown.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 01 17 at 07:23 PM • permalinkNo, Dave, you do the knickers on Prince Charles’ head imagery. I do the hot chicks in tight and/or minimal clothing. Nyah nyah nyah!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 01 17 at 07:24 PM • permalinkOh, and tell Frau Helga tonight, my place, 8:30 sharp. I’ll have the handcuffs ready.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 01 17 at 07:25 PM • permalinkNo, Dave, you do the knickers on Prince Charles’ head imagery.
I assume they’re boxers, if you need to get ‘em down past them big ole ears…
“Did you ever get the feeling someone in the Royal Family knew someone in the Royal Family? Over here, we saw ears like that on somebody, he’d be playing the banjo for Ned Beatty.” — Robin Williams
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 17 at 09:38 PM • permalinkDoes Tim Flannery have a gourd?
Wouldnt trust a messiah without a gourd.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 01 18 at 05:30 AM • permalinkBetween Flannery and Lovelock and Bunting there’s just got to be a bet!
Hey Schmitty where are you? Do you reckon you could get any of these two or three to bet among themselves to prove everything?
On second thoughts don’t bother because there’s not enough time. Just call all the comrades to arms.
PS if all messiahs have a gourd, Tim is sure to have one too.
Never anyone to back me up here ,mumble,mutter flarn!
http://www.rhymer.net/New Folder/gourd1.htm
Was thinking more of this one. Mr F spent a bit of time in PNG I think
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 01 18 at 08:26 AM • permalink20 years or 1 to 2 decades.. What is the difference and why is it so significant??
Our planet is approx 6 billions years old and mankind has been on it for appox 1 million years. Earth is in the throe of a major extinction event (because of our ignorance and mismanagement) Because of our human timescale perspective we can’t really comprehend what is going on. What we are seeing is clues as to the future..
And the contributors to this learned forum quibble about 10 or 20 years (could well be 100.. Result is the same..) less than a blink in geological terms..
I’m not quite sure what there is to act knowingly smug about..
Why is it that people who think of themselves as “right” of centre seem so careless about this likely terminal issue? Is it some blinkered macho Rightist BS ??Some sort of “anti scientific” movement??
Whatever it is, seems like playing Russian Roulette and getting jolly with every empty chamber..
Straaange indeed..
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October 17: I NEVER said that global warming/cooling/volcanoes/tornados/hurricanes/cyclones/ice age was/is/will be inevitible.
Or I did; what’s the fucking forcast for today, Kevin?