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NOW HE’S JUST SHOWING OFF

Climate master George W. Bush—the Kyoto-denying tsunami generator and crusher of New Orleans—presents his latest weather stunt: a daring volcano/mudflow/stormo combo:

The Philippines have put civil defense personnel on alert for possible deadly volcanic mudflows as a tropical storm began bearing down on a volcano that has been spitting ash for weeks.

Bush’s next trick: a simultaneous hurricane/earthquake/hail ’o toads. Location? Wouldn’t you like to know!

Posted by Tim B. on 06/27/2006 at 12:25 PM
  1. Must be because of all the earthquates generated by the melting Greenland ice. Whatever the cause, it’s definitely Bush’s fault.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 27 at 12:35 PM • permalink

  2. “a simultaneous hurricane/earthquake/hail ’o toads. Location?” 
    Washington, DC and environs.  Everything’s flooded out around here.  Even the Zoo, where the nasty polar bears gloat over the defeat of humanity.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 06 27 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  3. #2: You said it. All trains from Richmomd to DC were cancelled yesterday, so I stayed home. There was a mud slide on the beltway, and I heard it was taking people a couple of hours, in some cases, to make what is normally a 30-minute ride on the subway to their destinations.

    Polar bears and people: dancing the watery dance of death.

    Posted by paco on 2006 06 27 at 12:47 PM • permalink

  4. Basically, all of us in stupid Blue states are ƒü¢£e∂.

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 06 27 at 12:53 PM • permalink

  5. NO BLOOD FOR LAVA!!

    Posted by Bill Spencer on 2006 06 27 at 12:59 PM • permalink

  6. BOOSH gave my cat cancer. I know it was him because I can smell his fear over the internet. This proves that my cat is an existential threat to the Right Wing Noise Machine. This is an admission that they have lost. Kos will destroy them. Kos will make it all better! Kos will make the bad voices go away! Kos will drive the rethugneokkkons before him and hear the lamentations of their women! Kos knew me even in the womb! Kos will address the root causes of Gaia’s rage! KOS LOVES ME!

    Posted by P. Froward on 2006 06 27 at 01:00 PM • permalink

  7. I once complimented a poster at washingtonmonthly.com on his sense of irony as he blamed Bush for aiming hurricanes to raise the price of oil and kill democrats at a single blow, when it became clear that he either believed it, or was a master ironist just toying with me.

    Posted by moptop on 2006 06 27 at 01:04 PM • permalink

  8. Hail of toads! Dammit, this time Rove had gone too far!

    Posted by ErnieG on 2006 06 27 at 01:16 PM • permalink

  9. Kos will… he’ll make it better… Kos will make… /* wracking sobs */ ...make the room stop spinning… “Yea, though I walk through the valley of Rove…”

    Posted by P. Froward on 2006 06 27 at 01:22 PM • permalink

  10. Do we have only 5 to 10 years to learn how to live under 80 feet of lava/toads?

    Posted by stats on 2006 06 27 at 01:24 PM • permalink

  11. With all of these envirotards and leftoids hanging around, I think that the hail o’ toads happened a long time ago.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 06 27 at 01:29 PM • permalink

  12. We’ve had more rain here in the DC metro area than we did when Hurricane Agnes blew through.  And look!  Why, it’s raining again!

    Hey.  The IRS is closed.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 06 27 at 01:49 PM • permalink

  13. My friend in Delaware was complaining of her 45 minute commute to cover ten miles.  She’s one of those friends who believe that Bush is to blame for much evil.  I reassured her, though.  What Bush giveth, Bush can taketh away.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 06 27 at 02:04 PM • permalink

  14. Climate master George W. Bush—the Kyoto-denying tsunami generator and crusher of New Orleans—presents his latest weather stunt: a daring volcano/mudflow/stormo combo

    Occasionally, our Emperor must demonstrate to all his ample powers.  New Orleans, Des Moines.  It matters not a smidgeon to the Evil One.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 06 27 at 02:25 PM • permalink

  15. Bush’s next trick: a simultaneous hurricane/earthquake/hail ’o toads.

    Damn! Is there no stopping the New York Times? How did they find out about Paco Laboratories’ patented Shake and Blow Amphibian Precipitator?!?

    Posted by paco on 2006 06 27 at 02:56 PM • permalink

  16. Ushie, Paco: You’ve got rain predicted for the better part of the next 10 days. I know Dubya doesn’t like there in DC, but this is ridiculous.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 27 at 04:16 PM • permalink

  17. ...Shake and Blow…

    Easy there, Paco.

    Posted by mojo on 2006 06 27 at 04:49 PM • permalink

  18. Bush’s next trick: a simultaneous hurricane/earthquake/hail ’o toads. Location? Wouldn’t you like to know!

    I’ll cast my vote for a follow-up strike on Washington, DC. Which seems to be happening. And then our Great Lord of the Dark ought to hit the San Francisco/Berkley area for good measure.

    Posted by Wes S. on 2006 06 27 at 06:48 PM • permalink

  19. #5 - shouldn’t that be “NO FLOOD FOR LAVA ?”

    Posted by debo.v2 on 2006 06 27 at 07:10 PM • permalink

  20. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
    Wait ‘til Bush is blamed for the next big earthquake in California - or, if a Dem is president, the Dem isn’t, but Bush is.
    Isn’t Red Texas somewhere near Blue California?  It’s all that oil being removed from the ground..

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 06 27 at 07:27 PM • permalink

  21. I just finished watching a nature video about Mt. Pinatubo.  shudder

    Posted by The Sanity Inspector on 2006 06 27 at 09:43 PM • permalink

  22. It’s the daring reverse triple axle sowcow of global mayhem! But Bush never seems to score well on artistic merit.

    Posted by Nathan on 2006 06 27 at 11:24 PM • permalink

  23. i’m all for Gaza/West Bank right now; surely even Allah is fed up with them!

    Posted by spyder on 2006 06 27 at 11:47 PM • permalink

  24. Speaking of hailing toads...

    Posted by SteveGW on 2006 06 28 at 12:23 AM • permalink

  25. Very funny.

    I hope no one is killed, though.

    Posted by gson on 2006 06 28 at 04:42 AM • permalink

  26. Hey paco, I hope the ark is in the final stages of construction!  My brother is retired Navy (Naval Engineer) and works for the Pentagon, i.e., he lives in the area.  I’m just mentioning it in case you need help.

    All you guys, stay safe and dry.

    “Hail o’ toads!”  Great.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 06 28 at 05:12 AM • permalink

  27. #10. stats: “Do we have only 5 to 10 years to learn how to live under 80 feet of lava/toads?”

    I believe it’s actually lavatoads. Interdimensional hopping critters made of melted rock. These, IIRC, can be accessed through a portal that is opened by performing certain, specific “dark rites” that involve ... oh, sorry. Cant go into details.

    Anyhow, what these tend to be used for is to stir up hurricanes by having quantities of them dumped in the ocean to raise the water temp and create the energy to form the hurricane where desired for best access to properly oriented steering winds. Further, the hurricane can be directed by having the lavatoads swim, in mass, in the desired direction of travel for that hurricane.

    A secondary usage of lavatoads is to teleport them to specific friction points along tectonic plate structures so that their super red hottieness will melt the rock and facilitate large releases of stored up energy along desired geological fault structures.

    I had, of course, sworn an oath never to talk about this stuff, but I hear the NYT pays pretty good and am going to use this as part of my resume.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 06 28 at 05:16 AM • permalink

  28. Don’t joke - some people are actually prone to believing that global warming causes things like volcanic activity.

    A colleague of mine tried to mount the argument that the Asian tsunami which crippled Indonesia was related to ‘climate change’.

    Posted by JamesP on 2006 06 28 at 05:23 AM • permalink

  29. Y’know, it has long been observed that a thunderstorm always forms around an erupting volcano.  Dinkum.  Saw that when Rabaul (PNG)blew up in ‘94, positively blitzed with thunder and lightning for 3 days while burying the surrounding area with 8 metres of ash.

    And reports of the Mt Lamington (PNG)explosion in ‘52 report the same thing.

    All that’s missing is the hail of toads, which I reckon would be worth the price of admission alone.

    Posted by Olrence on 2006 06 28 at 09:48 AM • permalink

  30. It would be completely immoral for Bushitler to set off his hurricane/earthquake/hail ’o toads weapon in an occupied area.  He should use it on an unoccupied island and give the reality-based community the opportunity to surrender.  Which they won’t.  He will just have to keep using these demonstration disasters over and over again.

    Posted by Mitch on 2006 06 28 at 11:44 AM • permalink

  31. #30 Mitch,

    It would be completely immoral for Bushitler to set off his hurricane/earthquake/hail ’o toads weapon in an occupied area. He should use it on an unoccupied island and give the reality-based community the opportunity to surrender. Which they won’t. He will just have to keep using these demonstration disasters over and over again.

    Maybe he could come up with something like Klatu did in The Day the Earth Stood Still.  Of course, they shot him.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 06 28 at 01:29 PM • permalink

  32. Location? Wouldn’t you like to know!

    Aw, c’mon.  I need to at least know if the National Guard is going to get called out - again.  A hint, please?

    Posted by Major John on 2006 06 28 at 03:31 PM • permalink

  33. #31: Gort. George barada nictu.

    Posted by paco on 2006 06 28 at 04:58 PM • permalink

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