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NOVEMBER MOORPRISE

Just when it seemed Democrats had a shot at victory in the mid-terms, along waddles notorious failure omen Michael Moore to screw things up:

As good as things look for the Democrats, do not pop the corks and start the partying yet. Do not believe for a second that the Republicans plan on losing. They will fight like dogs for the next 24 hours—relentless, unforgiving, nonstop action to squeeze every last conservative voter out of the house on election day. While the rest of us go about our day today, tens of thousands of Republican volunteers are knocking on doors, making phone calls, and lining up rides to the polls. They’re not sleeping, they’re not eating ...

They’re not eating? That’s a level of dedication Moore must respect! The wealthy undercover Republican activist continues:

The reason they have to work so hard is that, before they can get the vote out, they first have to completely turn around the massive public opinion against them. Almost 60% disapprove of Bush. Over 60% are opposed to the war. Those are landslide numbers. And the American people are not going to turn pro-war or into Bush-lovers by tomorrow morning. So it should be easy for us, right?

Well, yes. Unless the Moore Effect kicks in:

Yup. Just like it was when we won the popular vote in 2000 and when we were ahead in the exit polls all day long in 2004. You know the deal—the other side takes no prisoners. And just when it seems like things are going our way, the Republicans suddenly, mysteriously win the election.

Note Moore’s claim that “we won the popular vote in 2000”. In fact, Moore didn’t support Al Gore in 2000; he supported Ralph Nader. The lying freak hopes his fans have forgotten.

UPDATE. Even Democrat voters are sick of Mike:

Michael Moore can kiss my ass. He MAKES ME WANT TO VOTE REPUBLICAN just so he can feel bad about himself some more.

(via Habib)

Posted by Tim B. on 11/06/2006 at 02:34 PM
  1. Michael Moore? Refresh my memory. Who’s he?

    Posted by Forbes on 2006 11 06 at 02:47 PM • permalink

  2. Somebody buy this guy a brain transplant.

    Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2006 11 06 at 02:50 PM • permalink

  3. Right.  Republicans are hitting the streets while all Democrats are doing to get elected is ringing me at home with 100,000 recorded messages from the likes of the Clintons and celebrities whose advice on politics I wouldn’t take over a child’s, some as late as 11 pm.  Is it the 7th yet?

    Posted by EmilyJones on 2006 11 06 at 02:53 PM • permalink

  4. Michael Moore? Refresh my memory. Who’s he?

    Some rich fat arrogant asshole who passes off leftist daydreaming masturbation as truthiness. And has legions of dupes willing to pay him real money to watch it.

    I know you meant it as sarcasm, but the loathsome hypocrite really pisses me off.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 06 at 02:56 PM • permalink

  5. He’s just upset because someone stole his bath sponge to soaking up lakes with.  Not that he was using it…

    Posted by kiwinews on 2006 11 06 at 03:04 PM • permalink

  6. They will fight like dogs for the next 24 hours—relentless, unforgiving, nonstop action to squeeze every last conservative voter out of the house on election day.

    Wronwright, I’ll take the bushes beside the door, and you take the roof.  Shoot anybody who looks like he might vote Democrat.

    Since when is 60% a “landslide number”?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 06 at 03:10 PM • permalink

  7. Lemme get this straight - Moore is saying he’s against people voting?

    Oh, he’s against the wrong people voting.  Where have I heard that before?

    How very . . . progressive of him.

    Posted by R C Dean on 2006 11 06 at 03:11 PM • permalink

  8. I know, I have to remind some of my lefty friends of the same thing once in a while, that as a matter of fact I’m the one who voted for Gore in 2000, not them.

    Because, you know, there’s no difference between the parties.

    Posted by Mike G on 2006 11 06 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  9. I guess Mike’s going to have to hope for more districts that go Democrat with more votes cast than there are registered voters if the DNC is ever to win.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 06 at 03:19 PM • permalink

  10. I just knew that when this guy elbowed Pluto out of the way, there’d be no living with him.

    Posted by paco on 2006 11 06 at 03:30 PM • permalink

  11. It’s Rove—he got to all those little ol’ ladies who volunteer at the polling places. Promised them free orthopedics and corn plasters for life, and promised to pass the Mandatory Daily Call From The Children Act of 2007. Bastard!

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 11 06 at 03:37 PM • permalink

  12. R C Dean,

    Remember Moore’s early reaction to 911 was one of incredulity: that the Islamists killed the wrong Americans.  After all, New York was a blue state not a red state.  And to think that this moral retard had an honored place at the Democratic Presidential convention seated right next to Dhimmi Carter.

    Posted by Mark Razak on 2006 11 06 at 03:49 PM • permalink

  13. He still hasn’t figured out that the popular vote doesn’t decide elections, has he?

    Posted by Sigivald on 2006 11 06 at 04:16 PM • permalink

  14. (Yeah, I know. Insert “presidential” in there.)

    Posted by Sigivald on 2006 11 06 at 04:17 PM • permalink

  15. Does M Moore rely on T Lane for his insights?

    Posted by curious george on 2006 11 06 at 04:24 PM • permalink

  16. I for one am volunteering my time tomorrow…even tho I can’t find any Goldwater Republicans anymore, I see way too many Koskids leftoids where I live.  Gotta put my money where my mouth is.

    The Republicans I’ve got are the ones I’ll have to live with - at least until the real conservatives show up.

    Posted by trainer on 2006 11 06 at 04:25 PM • permalink

  17. Well, let’s see.  Whadawe got:

    o Diebold machines installed with software that asks “have you finished voting?” and when voter checks “yes”, changes votes to Republican slate = check

    o mailings to innner city citizens informing them to show up at the same voting poll location, said location with three voting machines, only one of which works = check

    o phone calls to rural voters from insufferable British nobleman ordering them to vote Democrat because it’s the proper thing to do, even for Americans with dirty hands = check

    o all day bingo tournament in Jewish ansd senior citizen sections of cities = check

    o post cards sent informing potential voters that courteous police officers will be posted to voting locations to look for any persons with outstanding criminal charges or unpaid child support obligations = check

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 06 at 04:32 PM • permalink

  18. #17

    Well done, Wron! That should take care of things nicely. Mwah ah ah ah!

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 11 06 at 04:45 PM • permalink

  19. #17 Guess where the BBC is setting up for these elections - Ohio, of course, obviously to gauge the ‘BBC-Left Effect’ on the US voters.

    Don’t be so hard on MM, Tim.  So he voted for Nader?
    Actually, he voted for Gore before he didn’t vote for Gore.

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 11 06 at 04:55 PM • permalink

  20. #17 wronwright:

    -I believe you forgot:
    -Have John Kerry record inspirational speech for ‘the little people’ and broadcast it everywhere.

    Posted by Rob C. on 2006 11 06 at 04:55 PM • permalink

  21. I’m so ready for this election to be over. Voting a straight republican ticket, except for one guy. I’m pulling the lever for Kinky Friedman.

    Posted by paulris on 2006 11 06 at 05:10 PM • permalink

  22. 17—wronwright: Did you send out the notice that Repubs vote on Tuesday and Dems vote on Thursday?

    Also, outstanding parking tickets must be paid up in order to vote.

    Posted by Forbes on 2006 11 06 at 05:12 PM • permalink

  23. ``....we were ahead in the exit polls all day long in 2004.’‘

    Erm, Mikey -

    (1) nobody is on oath when speaking to an exit pollster.

    (2) Exit pollsters aren’t exactly everywhere.  I vote early in the morning in my district, and I’ve never laid eyes on one.

    (3)  If I DID meet an earnest young doofus with a clipboard who said, ``Pardon me, but who did you just vote for?’’  I’d say, ``None of your business.’’  And I’m not sure how that shows up in the final tally.

    And how about that

    ``...relentless, unforgiving, nonstop action to squeeze every last conservative voter out of the house on election day.’‘

    I think Mikey’s constipated.  He might try eating more roughage.

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 11 06 at 05:18 PM • permalink

  24. Was I the only one to notice the irony in Kerrys comment that dumb people end up in the army? I thought they ended up in Florida as democrat voters, these are the people too stupid to fill in voting forms.

    Posted by curious george on 2006 11 06 at 05:23 PM • permalink

  25. the Republicans suddenly, mysteriously win the election.

    There you have the leftist failure to understand democracy in a nutshell: manifested regularly here in Australia as well as in the U.S.  Here’s hoping for more mysterious surprises.

    Posted by cuckoo on 2006 11 06 at 05:31 PM • permalink

  26. Yup.
    Democrats win elections it is because the people care.
    Republicans win elections it is because of fraud.

    No wonder the left is filled with such losers, they can’t comprehend that honest, intelligent people might actually see things differently than they do.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2006 11 06 at 06:07 PM • permalink

  27. Almost 60% disapprove of Bush. Over 60% are opposed to the war. Those are landslide numbers. And the American people are not going to turn pro-war or into Bush-lovers by tomorrow morning.

    Just because some people are unhappy with Bush and/or the war, doesn’t mean they will stoop so low as to vote Democrat.
    Are Moore and the Dhimmicrats so stupid they don’t realize those poll numbers don’t mean much, come election day?

    And, that was a rhetorical question!

    Posted by rinardman on 2006 11 06 at 06:28 PM • permalink

  28. relentless, unforgiving, nonstop action to squeeze every last conservative voter out of the house on election day.

    Looks like Mike is projecting his relentless, unforgiving, nonstop action to squeeze every last ounce of that Denny’s triple cheeseburger platter out of his colon yesterday.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 06 at 06:35 PM • permalink

  29. They will fight like dogs for the next 24 hours

    A thoughtless cliche.  There’s no particular dog fighting tendency.

    I propose ``fighting like ants’’ for general pointless mayhem, and ``fighting like a mother bear’’ for a directed effort.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 11 06 at 06:59 PM • permalink

  30. I hope the Republicans win for no other reason, that it will wipe the smug grin off the letter writers in today’s Herald. Gaaaah!

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 11 06 at 07:06 PM • permalink

  31. I reckon this is the killer line:- The good news? There’s more of us than there are of them. surely a typo- it should read there’s more of me than there are of them. Let’s face it, there’s more of him than there are other carbon based life forms (and possibly carbon reserves) on Gaiea.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 11 06 at 07:16 PM • permalink

  32. To sum up Moore’s point:

    They beat us cuz they out-worked us.  That is so unfair.

    Posted by David Crawford on 2006 11 06 at 07:20 PM • permalink

  33. #28 Thanks, Dave S, I’m eating brekky, and that’s one image I really don’t need.

    LOL!

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 06 at 07:24 PM • permalink

  34. “...squeeze every last conservative voter out of the house on election day….”

    While I don’t doubt that MM knows more about having to be squeezed out of houses than most people, I can say that, in general, it’s not conservatives who need to be dragged to the polls to do their civic duty. It’s the loudmouth, dimwitted “liberals” who torture everyone all year long with their political “convictions,” but then can’t be bothered to actually vote cuz it’s, like, too much of a hassle.

    Posted by ak on 2006 11 06 at 07:40 PM • permalink

  35. It’s the loudmouth, dimwitted “liberals” who torture everyone all year long with their political “convictions,” but then can’t be bothered to actually vote cuz it’s, like, too much of a hassle.

    I just read that the Dems are worried about black voter turn-out. Seems the Dems have done such a great job telling them they’re disenfranchised and the voting machines are rigged that they’re saying, “Why should I bother?”

    To compound the irony, the person who’s fretting the most is Donna Brazile - Gore’s campaign manager in 2000 who did such a great job of trumpeting “fraud.”

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 06 at 08:07 PM • permalink

  36. Now me, I live in a numbskull blue state, and my votes tomorrow will be utterly futile. But it’s going to be a beautiful day (thanks, Gerbil Worming) so I’ll take a nice walk and cast my useless votes.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 06 at 08:09 PM • permalink

  37. #23—

    I was exit polled once—in 2000.  At the time, I was living in a heavily Democratic urban district in Brooklyn New York, which also recently had an influx of young “artists”.  When I told the pollster I voted for Bush and Lazio instead of Gore and Hillary Clinton, I thought her head was about to explode.

    Another time when voting in the same district, I had a guy who looked like he hadn’t showered in a week or say ask “Would you like to hear about the Green party?”

    With my business suit, tie, short hair and briefcase I responded “Do I look like I want to hear about the $*&^ing Green Party?”

    He laughed, I laughed.  I went to work.  He mentally composed a note to ask his parents for more money.

    Posted by Room 237 on 2006 11 06 at 08:12 PM • permalink

  38. Ah yes, the theoretical Republican voter fraud.  Which is somehow worse than actual, proven Democratic voter fraud.

    Diebold’s got our backs against all those voting corpses and illegals.

    Posted by Mark V. on 2006 11 06 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  39. #38

    ACORN is on the job!

    Posted by Room 237 on 2006 11 06 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  40. # 32, David- You hit the nail on the head.  He’s moaning that Republican politicians and their volunteers will be doing the unthinkable - working hard to get elected and thereby implying that a) the concept of “working” is somehow a dastardly and dirty or that b) Democrats are so perfect and correct about everything they should just be able to sit on their lazy bums and be voted in to office for the sake of their virtue and selflessness.

    Posted by EmilyJones on 2006 11 06 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  41. According to the new Pew poll Bush’s approval is at 43% agin and the war in Iraq has gained significant support again too. We’re back to 50-50 on whether it was right. Moore’s using old numbers to talk about his expectations of a future event. Moron.

    Posted by The Apologist on 2006 11 06 at 08:37 PM • permalink

  42. Y’know what would be a riot? If Ned Lamont scares Republican voters to the polls (either to vote for the Repub candidate or for Lieberman) and while they’re there they pull the levers for all of the other Repubs.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 06 at 08:47 PM • permalink

  43. #42—DaveS: That’s certainly the hope for the Rep. congresscritters running for re-elect—Johnson, Shays, and ...(I forget the 3rd one). The Repub Gov. Jodi Rell is at the top of the ballot, with expectations for easy re-election, followed by independent Jomentum, so there should be good Repub turn-out, put off by that one-issue lament, Lamont.

    Posted by Forbes on 2006 11 06 at 09:26 PM • permalink

  44. wronwright—Did we finish circulating the flash drives that certainly don’t exist with the “Red Disk” program to all the GOP Diebold voters?  You know, the ones that certainly don’t fit the USB slot that you certainly don’t find if you slide the ‘lock’ cover up in its absolutely nonexistent slot…

    Rumors that the “Red Disk” lets each GOP voter cancel out one Chicago corpse, L.A. undocumented immigrant AND voting felon in Florida are of course entirely unfounded…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 06 at 09:31 PM • permalink

  45. #4 Spiny Norman

    but the loathsome, sloven hypocrite really pisses me off.

    There, that’s much better.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 11 06 at 10:00 PM • permalink

  46. Room 237—ACORN got indicted on the job in Missouri.  35,000 false registrations and counting…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 06 at 10:17 PM • permalink

  47. In classic Hippo-critical (In which one is critical of Hippopotami) Republican fashion, I must say that Mister Moore could really stand to lose some weight.

    Posted by Kickero on 2006 11 06 at 10:35 PM • permalink

  48. #25, the Republicans suddenly, mysteriously win the election.

    Pauline Kael rides again.

    Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2006 11 06 at 11:15 PM • permalink

  49. Kickero, wouldn’t the famed Ancient Greek doctor Hippo-crates (boxes in which to pack hippos?) say MM should lose a little weight?  Since he’s the perfect height and weight for a 4-year-old hippo?

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 11 06 at 11:16 PM • permalink

  50. 43 Forbes-Simmons.

    Posted by 68W40 on 2006 11 06 at 11:20 PM • permalink

  51. #47 Kickero: Yes, but anyplace it went would be an environmental nightmare. Besides, sudden weight loss by Moore could have possibly catastrophic effects for Planet Earth. Plate tectonics - i.e., Moore opting for salad instead of his usual side of beef - could cause changes in everything from gravitational pull to polarity.

    Posted by paco on 2006 11 06 at 11:20 PM • permalink

  52. Moore opting for salad instead of his usual side of beef - could cause changes in everything from gravitational pull to polarity.

    Not to mention there would be nothing left for the cows.  Will no one think of the cows?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 06 at 11:24 PM • permalink

  53. As someone who works on political campaigns for the fun of the sport, I can assure Moore the Bore that his observation about republican workers is nothing unusual, for ALL political parties behave the same.

    Why it is a surprise, or notable thing, to him is that he doesn’t live in the real world where these things happem,

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 06 at 11:58 PM • permalink

  54. #3 No, the democrats, of course, will not resoprt, ON PRINCIPAL[‘b] to such low tactics.

    They will just all sit around the camp fire and hold hands and sing Kumbayah. Oh, wait, is that allowed these days? I’d better check my politicallty correct manual.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 07 at 12:01 AM • permalink

  55. #7 No, RC Dean, he is against people voting wrongly[

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 07 at 12:04 AM • permalink

  56. For those who enjoy exciting electiosn, we have a doozy of a municipal one in Ottawa right now ... don’t wait for the link, just google it.

    O’Briens the man, the ebst I can hope for.

    BTW Isn’t it Melbourne Cup Day today? I don’t want the cheval to win

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 07 at 12:12 AM • permalink

  57. Oh crap, I just blew the annual expenditure of bold type, [/n] didn’t I?

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 07 at 12:13 AM • permalink

  58. Oh crap, I just blew the annual expenditure of bold type, didn’t I?

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 07 at 12:14 AM • permalink

  59. *sigh*

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 11 07 at 12:14 AM • permalink

  60. Don’t worry about it, Wimpy. There must be a relevant Canadian publicly-funded universal insurance entity that Andrea can bill.

    That’s why you pay your taxes, right?

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 11 07 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  61. “... relevant Canadian publicly-funded universal insurance entity ...”
    No, but we do have the “party who cares”.
    Try them, Andrea.

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2006 11 07 at 01:35 AM • permalink

  62. 60 James Waterton

    Don’t worry about it, Wimpy. There must be a relevant Canadian publicly-funded universal insurance entity that Andrea can bill.

    Ummm Wimpy, honestly, I’m not laughing at you, but I am laughing my as off at what James typed….:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 11 07 at 01:45 AM • permalink

  63. Why thankyou, Mr Cid! How did you enjoy voting today?

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 11 07 at 02:20 AM • permalink

  64. I’m headed home to bed now - tomorrow I’ll get up, take a shower, and take a nice walk to the polling place. Wish us luck, Oz.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 07 at 02:58 AM • permalink

  65. Good luck, good luck, good luck, good luck,
          From us Strayans…..
    (thinks -Andrea WILL be proud).

    Posted by crash on 2006 11 07 at 05:36 AM • permalink

  66. Just remember that Elephants are nice, while Donkeys attract the attention of certain ethnic groups with sexual identity problems.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 11 07 at 06:25 AM • permalink

  67. #44 Richard McEnroe -

    wronwright—Did we finish circulating the flash drives that certainly don’t exist with the “Red Disk” program to all the GOP Diebold voters?  You know, the ones that certainly don’t fit the USB slot that you certainly don’t find if you slide the ‘lock’ cover up in its absolutely nonexistent slot…

    Certainly not!

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 07 at 07:11 AM • permalink

  68. W. C. Fields to many bold statements.. Sorry, but it is Melbourne Cup day I’ve had a few beers and now a quiet giggle to myself. It seems funny now, maybe not later.

    Posted by curious george on 2006 11 07 at 07:20 AM • permalink

  69. Feel like crep today, but will stagger out at some point and go to the local high school, there to be gifted with about a gazillion shiny flyers about a host of candidates; then I shall stumble into the cafeteria/gym and wait patiently for the nice little old register-person to locate my name and give me a slide card; I shall acknowledge that I don’t need “handicapped” help (special booths) and then I shall vote.

    I hope there aren’t any filthy hippies hanging about singing about the maggots feasting on Reagan’s corpse, like last time.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 11 07 at 07:27 AM • permalink

  70. ushie,

    We usually have a sausage sizzle organised by some local scout group. They are handy in keeping the greenie-vego-hippie-wankers away.

    Good luck.

    Posted by curious george on 2006 11 07 at 07:40 AM • permalink

  71. 63

    James, my good fellow, I early voted in Tennessee for U.S. Senate candidates, Governor, etc….prior to my leaving for Florida.

    Florida won’t let me register to vote, claim Florida residency, (once again) get a State driver’s license, license plates…until or unless I have title to my financed vehicles assigned to them AND donate my kidneys, heart and lungs, while still fresh and in usable condition.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 11 07 at 08:56 AM • permalink

  72. #66 What does the elephant, donkey stuff mean? The ABC uses it too.

    Posted by crash on 2006 11 07 at 09:12 AM • permalink

  73. Crash, go here for a brief history of the elephant and the donkey as party symbols.

    http://www.infoplease.com/askeds/donkey-elephant.html

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 11 07 at 09:45 AM • permalink

  74. Crash, they’re the symbols of the US political parties - elephant for Republicans, donkey for Democrats. They were invented by 19th-century cartoonist Thomas Nast: the elephant represents big vote turnouts, while the donkey is from AEsop’s fable of the ass that, in order to save itself a long walk, threw itself off a cliff.

    Let’s hope that both metaphors hold true today!

    By the way, this guy Moore - I despise the tub of lard as much as the next man, but frankly, he’s really not worth the breath it takes to insult him. I just scrape people like him off my shoe and move on.

    Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2006 11 07 at 10:10 AM • permalink

  75. Thanks Sonetka’s Mom and Urbs….

    Posted by crash on 2006 11 07 at 10:38 PM • permalink

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