<< DOWN WITH COMPRESSION-IGNITION SOUL DRAINERS ~ MAIN ~ GESTURES FORCED >>
“NO SPECIES WAS SAFE”
It’s not often one happens upon a story combining issues of architecture, environmentalism, institutes of higher learning and accidental avian windowcide, let alone such a story written in a manner joyously suggestive of B-grade horror movie previews. For this, we thank the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and journalist Andrea Jones:
It is one of Emory University’s most environmentally friendly buildings, a hallmark of the institution’s efforts to “go green.” To hear John Wegner describe it, it’s also a slaughterhouse.
The soaring glass windows in Emory’s Mathematics and Science Center reflect the woodsy view, confusing hapless birds who smash into it at full speed.
“The building killed 60 birds in the first year,” said Wegner, Emory’s chief environmental officer. “It was the wall of death.”
Magnolia warblers, Swainson’s thrushes, ovenbirds - no species was safe.
Read on. If you dare!
(Via Jack C.)
Just clicked over to the article…
After getting the brush-off from the administration and architects, Wegner stuffed a couple of dead birds into his pockets and whipped them out during a meeting with his boss. Suddenly, he had an audience.
Funniest. Article. Ever. The mental image evoked here made me shriek with laughter.
On further consideration, this makes total sense because birds have basically monocular vision; their eyes are set to the sides of their heads with very little overlap of the frontal visual field. Therefore it’s very difficult for them to sense the difference between a reflection of trees and actual trees.
But it’s still a very funny article.
How the hell did ovenbirds get all the way up there? Methinks students + catapult = good times.
Posted by Don Charleone on 2007 11 26 at 12:11 PM • permalinkSydney Greenstreet: “You have the falcon in your possession, Mr. Spade?”
Humphrey Bogart: “No, no falcons, Mr. Gutman. But I’ve got a brown-headed cowbird and a barn swallow I can let you have. The cowbird’s pretty smashed up, but the barn swallow just clipped a microwave antenna, so it’s still intact.”
Director: “Cut!”
Hmmmm.
For some reason this makes me want to build a 400’ tall glass wall right in the migratory path of migrating birds.
No idea why.
Posted by memomachine on 2007 11 26 at 12:41 PM • permalinkMaybe we should build the border fence with Mexico out of glass.
Kill two birds with one stone - sort of.
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 11 26 at 12:49 PM • permalinkBy the way, WTF! is an “ovenbird”?
All I can remember is that old Fog Horn Leghorn cartoon.
Henery Hawk: “Hey, he called you a chicken”
Foghorn Leghorn: “That’s what I’ve been - I say, that’s what I’ve been telling you, boy! I am a chicken!”
Henery hits Foghorn on the head with a shovel and drags him away
Henery Hawk: “He talked me into it”Foghorn Leghorn: “I’m just a loud-mouthed schnook”
Henery Hawk: “Chicken or schnook, in our oven he’ll look good”
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 11 26 at 12:57 PM • permalinkI just think it’s a shame the windows of Prius showrooms don’t have the same effect on eco-mentalists.
Posted by Don Charleone on 2007 11 26 at 12:59 PM • permalinkAll these dead birds are hard for me to swallow; it’s shameful how this seemingly pheasant building is robin them of their freedom. Mind you, they’re not too swift to fly into the glass horizontally like that; it would make more sense if they dove (perhaps off of cranes). Of course, what with all those falling bodies you have to duck I’d be chicken to walk outside there myself, and call me a loon but I’d certainly cast an eagle eye at whatever grilled mystery meat the street vendors were trying to hawk. It’s really upsetting how that young starlet died: she raptor head around the facade. She was such a pretty gull, too.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 11 26 at 02:05 PM • permalinkI live on a prominent hill in a rural location. Great views but the reason I don’t have glass surrounding my verandahs (here we call them handrails) is because there would be too many birds flying into them. Birds snotting themselves against our windows are a regular event.
I’m a dumb Howard hugging climate denialist but I understand that birds do not know the difference between glass and clear air.
I just don’t understand how all these idiot green luvvies and high paid architects can’t also understand the bleeding obvious.Yep, Harold, I was going to point out that birds smacking into glass is a long standing problem. Or source of humor for TV commercials.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 11 26 at 03:02 PM • permalink“Is that a dead bird in your pocket, or are you just not so glad to see me?”
Wait until ecotards discover how much avicide is at the hands of eagles, falcons, crows, ravens, possums, mongeese, et al., etc.
They will need medications and government programs.
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 11 26 at 03:10 PM • permalinkOn reflection it may have been a bad idea to put so much glass on a flight path, but it would be a real pain to change it now.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 11 26 at 03:20 PM • permalinkAnd in other news, which writer kicked the italics jar over in the breaking news section of todays Daily Telegraph? It looks kind of strange.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 11 26 at 03:24 PM • permalinkHalf a league, half a league,
(well, one hundred feet) skyward
Emory’s Building of Death
flew the Six Hundred.
“Forward, the Flight Brigade!
“Charge for the blinds!” he said:
Into the Wall, Wall of Death
Flew the Six Hundred.Flash’d all their bottoms bare
Flash’d as they turn’d in air
Beaking the gutters there
Charging a mirror, while
those inside wonder’d
Plunged in those feather’d folk
Right thro’ the neck they broke
Pigeon and Sparrow
Reel’d from the Window’s stroke
Shatter’d and sunder’d
Then they flew back, but not
Not the Six Hundred.How can their plumage fade
(window washer’s craft displayed)
those inside wonder’d.
Clean up the mess they made!
Honor the Flight Brigade,
Stupid Six Hundred.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 11 26 at 03:30 PM • permalinkMaybe they should construct pyramid shaped buildings instead. Then, when the birds hit them, they bounce off at an angle.
And they get a pointy topped building to go over their pointy little heads.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 26 at 03:59 PM • permalinkOT
British Teacher Faces 40 Lashes for Naming Class Teddy Bear ‘Muhammad’
A British primary school teacher arrested in Sudan faces up to 40 lashes for blasphemy after letting her class of 7-year-olds name a teddy bear Muhammad.
Gillian Gibbons, 54, from Liverpool, was arrested at at Khartoum’s Unity High School yesterday, and accused of insulting the Prophet of Islam.
Her colleagues said that they feared for her safety after reports that groups of young men had gathered outside the Khartoum police station where she was taken and were shouting death threats.
I can see NO redeeming value, in Islam…NONE!
Might be a good place to open a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 11 26 at 05:05 PM • permalinkAnd the best thing about the birds and the windows is…It’s tenderized.
Speaking of….
2 Pheasant breasts
2 tablespoons Lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon Salt
1/2 teaspoon Pepper
3 tablespoons Butter
1 teaspoon Shallots; peeled, chopped
2 tablespoons Brandy
1/3 cup Dry white wine
1/3 cup Heavy cream
1 tablespoon Meat Glaze
2 dashes cayenne
1 tablespoon Truffles or morels; cut into thin strips
2 tablespoons Mushrooms; thin stripsKey ingredients for Pheasant Under Glass.
“Hey, you’ve done a great job decorating the place, George! Say, can I sit in your chair? Just for ten minutes. Five minutes, one minute, George, please?”
First they came for the tits, but I was a booby, so I didn’t care…
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 11 26 at 05:53 PM • permalink1: I have 5 large Eucalypts in my back garden. During a recent storm, a branch broke, and the nest with some magpie larks fell out. They died.
Is it the storms fault, or the trees fault?2: I have a lizard who lives under my front porch. He has lost his tail, but it will grow back (I think one of the dogs chased him).
His name is Mohammed (The lizard, not the dog).44l; Further info on the great (big) man’s visit.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 26 at 06:47 PM • permalinkWhy didn’t the birds get out of the way of the equally sized bird coming the other way?
They were playing chicken, Dan.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 11 26 at 07:50 PM • permalinkSimple solution. Stick pictures of cats on the windows.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 26 at 08:50 PM • permalinkSome birds just don’t get it.
On the other hand, some birds really don’t deserve to live.#6, I agree, that has to be quote of the year.
Is there somewhere you can nominate?
Posted by Admonkeystrator on 2007 11 26 at 11:51 PM • permalinkAre you having problems, friends, with birds crashing into your fancy, glass-walled buildings? Then you should get the Poultry-Architecture Collision Obviater®. PACO®: because sometimes the glass ceiling shouldn’t be broken.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 11 27 at 01:05 AM • permalinkAnd #37 et al on the OT topic of the Scouse woman accused of calling a Teddy Bear Mamed:
If the name is so sacred, then why is every second goat shagging, thieving, sinner on certain parts of God’s earth called that. A harmless teddy bear has got nothing on most Mameds walking on two legs. Al Fayed of Harrods fame - there’s but one example.#72 - Not the satisfying ones. Save it for the real ring stinging, rectum busting, after grog and curry dumps that leave you in search of anusol and medicated wipes.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 27 at 04:08 AM • permalinkWill they be sued by Atticus Finch? I don’t mean to snipe or grouse, but I think anyone else woodcock it up.
Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 11 27 at 04:14 AM • permalinkSomeone earlier in this thread mentioned Darwin. I think that we are seeing a splendid example here, of natural selection at work. Thanks to Emory’s valuable contribution, succeeding generations of birds will be able to tell glass from clear air, the ones who failed to do so having self-selected themselves out of the gene pool.
Page 1 of 1 pages
Members:
Login | Register
| Member List
I suspect emus were fairly safe from the wall of deathy…