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NO JOKES IN ISLAM
The Ayatollah Khomeini:
“There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam. There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious.”
You can say that again, Mr Frowny:
Muslims in Cambridge have demanded a public apology from a student who printed anti-Islamic material in a magazine.
The material included a cartoon depicting the prophet Mohammed which sparked worldwide outrage last year when it was published in Denmark. It is thought this is the first time the cartoon has appeared in a publication in England.
Poor old England. The teenager who ran the cartoon is now on the run himself, presumably terrified of Humour Stasi reprisals.
“There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam. There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious.” - Ayatollah Khomeini
“Don’t go away angry. Just; Just go away.” - Stitch Jones; ‘The Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah!’ - Heartbreak Ridge ‘86
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 02 11 at 11:56 AM • permalink#1 “(Mohamed) cries when you make a joke.”
A Priest, a Rabbi and a Reverend walk into a bar;
The barman says: “What is this? A Joke?”
(BOOM boom, tssh)Two men walk into a bar, which is odd, you’d think the second guy would have ducked…
(BOOM boom, tssh)John Kerry walks into a bar, the Barman says: Why the long face?
(BOOM boom tssh)Its late, tell someone who cares…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 02 11 at 12:03 PM • permalinkI went straight to the source, and checked with The Imam. As you all know, he heads up the Fatwa Department. I searched on jokes and found the following gem:
It has been proven in many Ahaadith that Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) joked with the Sahabah. But it has also been prohibited to joke. In Tirmidhi, a narration of Hadhrat ibn Abbaas (Radhiallaahu Anhu) is reported wherein it has been prohibited to joke. Imam Nawawiy (RA) has reconciled between these two types of Hadith in this manner and said that excessive joking which will result in the heart becoming hard or keeps one away from the rememberance of Allah Ta’ala, or it may lessen the dignity and degrade one. All these will be included in the prohibition.
So if they tell jokes it would make them hard-hearted and undignified?
Forget the title, just watch the Arab shoot an elephant gun with a bad stance, you’ll laugh if you don’t shoot, if you do, you may laugh so hard you’ll cry, I know I did…
P.S. look for the door with the broken glass.
Allah Akbar!
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 02 11 at 12:55 PM • permalink#10, Full facial nudity; last weekend i was at a bucks night where we were having tequila slammers from the chest of a Californian hottie. We’re about 12,000 miles away from Cali, I love America!
If thats what you call imperialism, bring it ON!
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 02 11 at 12:59 PM • permalink“There are no jokes in Islam.”
Guess they didn’t have mirrors in Iran. Too bad. The assahola missed out on seeing the biggest joke in Islam.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 11 at 01:04 PM • permalink“There’s a lot that makes Muslims :( isn’t there?”
They’ll be a lot happier once their culture discovers the purpose of toilet paper.
Same deal with the French and soap.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 11 at 01:10 PM • permalinkThere are no jokes in Islam:
Two Muslims walk into a bar.
BOOMIf there are no jokes in Islam, what’s this “Koran” thing they keep waving around?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 11 at 01:40 PM • permalinkAnd of course, some Islam Jokes are timeless…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 11 at 01:43 PM • permalinkThe “self-igniting flag-burning muslim” is indeed a classic slapstick act.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 11 at 02:01 PM • permalinkAnd let’s not forget the classic comedy routines performed by honorary muslims.
Who can forget the gales of laughter elicited by Rachel Corrie’s “minuet with a bulldozer in the key of she’s flat”?
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 11 at 02:09 PM • permalink#20, I can think of a lot more, but thems the only ones that would pass muster on this family oriented site.
Last one that wont get Andrea to throw me out:
Little Johnny goes back to school on the first day after the Christmas holidays.
The teacher asks what everyone did on their holidays.
Little Johnny says “Miss, Miss!”
The teacher says: “Yes Johnny, what did you do on your holidays?”
Little Johnny: “Miss we shoved a fire cracker up a cats arse.”
Teacher (red faced) “Rectum Johnny Rectum.”
Little Johnny: “Sure did miss, it blew his arse off!”
BOOM boom Tssh!
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 02 11 at 03:43 PM • permalinkWhen the Taliban were first rising to power, I travelled through northern Pakistan and parts of Afghanistan. The one thing that struck me was the public lack of joy, of music and of humour.
In private, everyone was much more forthcoming, even cracking a few jokes with us foreigners, but in public you really had to watch your step. On one occasion, I heard a stream of plaintive music from far up in the hills. It sounded so sad and lonely. I’ve never forgotten it.
Islam in its fundamentalist form is surely doomed. People do need to laugh.
“When the Taliban were first rising to power…”
I’ll bet their mood hasn’t improved any.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 11 at 06:48 PM • permalink“There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam. There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious.”
That’s one excuse that Keysar Trad won’t be able to use again the next time the mufti of Australia launches into an attack on the country that took him in. Leaves him with just misunderstood and misquoted again.
Hey, this could be the weapon that wins us the war! Surrender, ayatollah, or we’ll bring on the lightbulb jokes!
Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 02 11 at 08:09 PM • permalinkSays it all about the religion.
Mohum-idiot was a real prophet dumb dumb with delusional followers.
Any wonder the Jews don’t like them in the Middle East, and now we’re stuck with them, even the “peaceful” (what the?? buddah is better at that) people-hyphens. You see why Europe is in turmoil when they re-designing the function of humanity.
“I’m actually shocked that intelligent people know how offensive this cartoon is and that they have decided to reprint it in such a horrible manner. It’s disgusting.”
Why? It wasn’t printed in pigshit ink was it?Love their evident decision to not riot and yet still that student needs to hide.
Catastrophising idiots.Posted by carpefraise on 2007 02 11 at 11:20 PM • permalinkMonk, I like your idea. Imagine helicopters hovering over Tehran, broadcasting jokes over their loudspeakers. Why, the imams’ heads would explode, like the Martians who heard Slim Whitman singing!
Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2007 02 11 at 11:38 PM • permalinkcarpe, did you hear the one about Mohammed and the nine-year-old girl? Well, neither did I - but surely someone here can add a good punch line to that little tale.
Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2007 02 11 at 11:40 PM • permalinkI have also read an article on the same thing in a previous edition of the same newspaper. How bizarre the Brits behave these days. What a lot of soft cocks. What the student has published as religous satire is now termed by all quoted in the article as either racist, abhorrent and making people utterly distraught and disgusted. The Student Union President says sorry. And a College spokeswoman says the college is open and inclusive, and the publication was distressful and abhorrent. The guest editor will not only be fired, the publication has lost its college funding, and the same student will be disciplined. Remember this is a college newspaper, and a special on religous satire. I saw a lot of questionable, some interesting, and some crap stuff in my college days in Honi Soit and Tharunka. I don’t think there is a comparison.
What’s happened to Uni students these days?
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The Prophet cries when you make a joke.