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NEXT GREAT FEAR - AN UNCHECKED AMAZON SWARMS THE PLANET
Oh no! The Amazon is drying out! Curse you, globbal woaming!
The WWF said global warming could turn up to 60 per cent of the rain forest into dry land, destroying the region’s rich diversity of species in the process.
Hey—the Amazon thrives on dry weather! Gobble wamming, you’re the greatest!
Most plants do their growing during the rainy season and stall out when it’s dry. But in much of the Amazon rainforest, dry spells bring on growth spurts.
Isn’t Gobble Whamming hitting a journalist with a plastic turkey? (Or is that using a plastic turkey to hit a journalist?)
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 03 23 at 10:00 AM • permalinkRob Read — Lucy made a couple of thunderously stoooopid ecothrillers for CBS here in the States…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 23 at 10:39 AM • permalink#4 amortiser:
There’s a song in that. Can you hear it?
Posted by Rittenhouse on 2006 03 23 at 10:58 AM • permalinkThe first sign of Global Warming is the warming. Or the cooling. Or the rain. Or the dry spell. Or the forests dying. Or the forests thriving. Or the ice shelf melting. Or the ice shelf growing. Or the desert blooming. Or the Cheez Wizzing. Or the Reddi Whipping. Or the turntable spins as the last waltz begins and the weatherman says something’s on the move.
Posted by Monroe Doctrine on 2006 03 23 at 11:26 AM • permalinkOr the turntable spins as the last waltz begins and the weatherman says something’s on the move.
Brewing heavy weather?
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 03 23 at 12:34 PM • permalinkWell, now I am surprised. I thought they destroyed the rain forest years ago.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 23 at 04:08 PM • permalinkSpeaking of suprise…
The finding [that dry spells bring on growth spurts], announced today, surprised scientists.
Does it disturb anyone else that scientists are so often “surprised”?
Dateline 2027:
Scientists expressed surpise recently when research that had been ongoing since the mid-90s concluded that the planet is not warming and that, in fact, the measures taken around the globe in the last two decades to combat climate change have triggered a near ecological disaster.
“Imagine our surprise to find that the global reduction of CO2 levels by 25% is what led, among other things, to the deforestation of nearly 40% of North America and complete destruction of the Amazon rain forest,” said Dr. C. A. Rotwang, the Nobel Prize winner often referred to as “the Godfather of climate change”.
Al Gore could not be reached for comment.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 23 at 04:48 PM • permalink
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Not since the cancellation of Xena has there been such a rich opportunity as an Amazon, “spurts,” and a dry spell.
But I’ll pass.