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NEO-CONDIMENT*

Forget viral marketing. The W Ketchup company of Eagle Bridge, NY, has mastered table marketing.

(* Headline stolen from the London Times.)

Posted by Tim B. on 09/03/2006 at 12:20 PM
  1. ``...attendance at Kerry’s last political rally in Iowa was sparse.’‘

    Good Lord, is that man still holding rallies?  He’s getting as desperate as Al Gore.

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 09 03 at 12:27 PM • permalink

  2. Iowans probably figured that watching corn grow is more exciting than going to a Kerry rally.

    Posted by PW on 2006 09 03 at 12:44 PM • permalink

  3. Hip, hip, puree!

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 09 03 at 12:45 PM • permalink

  4. Say, can one of you fine Americans tell me the difference ‘tween ketchup and catsup?. Here we just call these things sauce. But then, we’re a simple folk.

    Posted by Daniel San on 2006 09 03 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  5. Daniel, the word is ``ketchup’’ - we got it from the Brits, who got it from the Malays who spell it ketjap (pronounced ketchup).  Originally it meant any kind of sauce; the hyperdominance of tomato seems to be a relatively recent phenomenon.

    As I understand it, ``catsup’’ was coined by people who thought it less vulgar than pronuncing it ``ketchup. ‘’  Think of it as the verbal equivalent of crooking your little finger while holding a teacup.

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 09 03 at 01:24 PM • permalink

  6. I thought sauce was pronounced “sass,” and was poured on ribs.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 09 03 at 01:26 PM • permalink

  7. Of course, what “W Ketchup Co” is suggesting is that Kerry should use their product instead of Heinz Ketchup. Very cheeky, I must say.

    Posted by Steven Den Beste on 2006 09 03 at 01:56 PM • permalink

  8. Daniel,

    Actually, we call it salsa.  In 1992, for the first time, salsa outsold ketchup in the USA.  (New Mainstream: Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Salsa.) 

    And that makes sense.  Think about it:

    Ketchup on a Denver omelette = disgusting.
    Salsa on a Denver omelette = delicious.

    About the only thing ketchup is good for is french fries, and that’s only if you don’t have any tartar sauce.

    Posted by David Crawford on 2006 09 03 at 02:11 PM • permalink

  9. Tartar sauce on french fries?  What are you, some kind of pansy blue-stater?  Malt vinegar, baby.

    Is that a candy apple Kerry is eating?  I thought maybe he’d decided it’s time to stop and smell the roses.  Wishful thinking on my part, I guess.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 09 03 at 02:19 PM • permalink

  10. About the only thing ketchup is good for is french fries, and that’s only if you don’t have any tartar sauce.

    No way. The ketchup spiked with Tabasco sauce, that’s the only way to eat fries.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 09 03 at 02:40 PM • permalink

  11. This has been around for a couple of years at least now.

    I personally purchased 4 bottles.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 09 03 at 04:00 PM • permalink

  12. A po[pul;ar French Canadian “sauce” at New Year’s, to eat with Tortiere, is green topmato ketchup. mmmyum

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 09 03 at 04:01 PM • permalink

  13. Sorry about the typos - many haste make poor calligraphies

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 09 03 at 04:02 PM • permalink

  14. #9 RebeccaH. Dijon mustard or mayonaise is also very good.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 09 03 at 04:04 PM • permalink

  15. Best fries are with malt vinegar and salt, eaten on the boardwalk.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 09 03 at 04:58 PM • permalink

  16. Nah, best sauce for fries is brown sugar BBQ sauce.  Even better if the BBQ sauce was cooked on ribs.

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2006 09 03 at 05:25 PM • permalink

  17. Nope.  Ranch dressing AND ketchup.  Dip fries in each, in turn. (Athough then you have to decide if you want ketchup in your Ranch dressing, or ranch dressing in your ketchup…  it gets complicated.) I do like malt vinegar, though.

    Posted by texasred on 2006 09 03 at 05:47 PM • permalink

  18. Stop it.  Stop it now.  Sauce only.  Or, more accurately, “dead ‘orse”

    For all applications.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 09 03 at 05:49 PM • permalink

  19. Well, there would have been a much larger crowd, had Kerry brought more chairs. Stupid bastard…LOL.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 09 03 at 05:49 PM • permalink

  20. #14 Dijon mustard or mayonaise is also very good.

    Eek!  Just remember… God doesn’t forgive everything.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 09 03 at 06:09 PM • permalink

  21. #26, well duh!  Fries—in fact, everything—tastes better with ribs.

    Proper attire, consisting of a tarp and a nearby running hose, required.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 09 03 at 06:14 PM • permalink

  22. By #26, I mean that Richard McEnroe left the Tardis open again and I got transported to 5 answers from now.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 09 03 at 06:15 PM • permalink

  23. God doesn’t forgive everything.

    Whew, good thing I’m agnostic then, I can continue to enjoy mayo on my fries…

    Posted by PW on 2006 09 03 at 06:19 PM • permalink

  24. I knew this thread would gravitate from the John Kerry angle to french fry preferences. Damn the fries they will always be called chips here in oz; as in fish n chips. (Hell, I can even remember when it was wrapped in butchers paper and newspaper. Rip off one end and burn your fingers dipping in.)

    Chips and aioli sauce…. I have moved upwards from plain old tomato sauce.

    Anyone tried chips and vegemite?

    Posted by Spag_oz on 2006 09 03 at 07:13 PM • permalink

  25. RebeccaH, I don’t condone flooding said fries/chips in aforementioned mayo/dijon.

    Rather it is a dipping wrist motion of the han d holding a single fry./chip.

    And, frankly, being athiest, god’s position on the subject is just not existant/relevant.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 09 03 at 07:16 PM • permalink

  26. #24

    Vegimite? Vegimite!!

    Bloody ‘ell man, have you lost it? .. all civilization? Gone native eh? (That’s Canadian eh).

    No, it’s godda be with MARMITE,... eh.

    Note to self: May be moving to Australia next year so must be sensitive to locals.

    ....NOT.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 09 03 at 07:22 PM • permalink

  27. Pretty soon Kerry’s rallies are going to be just him talking to a bunch of empty chairs. Or maybe, like St. Francis, he can stand around talking to the birds.

    Homemade fries, served hot from the basket, covered in ketchup. Ranch dressing, mayo, etc., are deviations from the True Path. However, as Thomas Jefferson said, “french fries are the art of the possible”, so some heterodoxy is to be expected.

    Posted by paco on 2006 09 03 at 07:49 PM • permalink

  28. It’s about time we had some food threads in this here blog. mmmh chips and sauce.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 09 03 at 08:30 PM • permalink

  29. Good lordy lordy.. tomato sauce!

    Well, if they can do it so can I.

    Can anyone out there who knows someone who works at Arnotts bickies or marketing department, can they ask someone to send Tim Blair some Tim Tams biscuits and say it’s from 1.618 :) and she says he gets three wishes.

    Oh, I nearly got mugged on the Sydney trains on Saturday. Will post my experience page 2 story one here.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 09 03 at 08:35 PM • permalink

  30. I see.  The thread is infested with infidels who would desecrate the sanctity of the oil-crisped potato sliver with *shudder* mayonnaise and mustard.  Very well.  Trans fats be upon thee, unbelievers!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 09 03 at 09:18 PM • permalink

  31. #30: the sanctity of the oil-crisped potato sliver .

    Ok, now I’m really getting hungry. Eating an oil-laden french fry is, of course, like screwing a cork into your aorta, but what a way to go!

    Posted by paco on 2006 09 03 at 09:23 PM • permalink

  32. #27:  Pretty soon, it’ll just be Kerry and some cardboard cutouts…. by which I mean Al Gore.

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2006 09 03 at 10:11 PM • permalink

  33. #22 ushie, hee! Nice cover.

    On the subject of fries/chips/frites, I had poutine this week (I was a tourist in Canada and apparently it’s a law that you have to try it. When in Rome, I say.) Poutine is fries covered with cheese curds and gravy. It’s EVIL. Also very good. Added bonus: you won’t have to eat again for several days.

    Posted by Dr Alice on 2006 09 03 at 10:13 PM • permalink

  34. Jeez some of you people’s eating habits are appalling. I’d like to support this W Ketchup company on philosophical grounds, but ketchup is for kids. It’s acceptable with french fries when in a fast food joint—but you shouldn’t be eating those things anyway, they’ll kill you. Anyway other things including spicy mustard are much better. (And for CHIPS you need bean dip, you limeys.)

    Do NOT be putting ketchup on meat unless you are inbred and playing the banjo and living in a trailer park (or whatever substitutes for trailer parks and banjos in your country).

    Posted by Shaky Barnes on 2006 09 03 at 11:20 PM • permalink

  35. Do NOT be putting ketchup on meat unless you are inbred and playing the banjo and living in a trailer park

    Listen here, boy, where I come from, ketchup is a perfectly acceptable sauce for all kinds of meat, including possum and swamprat. Ain’t that right cousin grandpa?

    Posted by paco on 2006 09 03 at 11:35 PM • permalink

  36. Dr Alice, that sounds like a frenchified version of chili-cheese fries.  (Chile-cheese fries = fries topped with cheese and covered with chili con carne.  A meal in itself.)

    Posted by David Crawford on 2006 09 03 at 11:56 PM • permalink

  37. Ketchup is almost edible on french fries if you cut it about evens with german mustard, preferably with horseradish.

    That’s if you can’t get malt vinegar.

    Posted by steveH on 2006 09 04 at 12:32 AM • permalink

  38. but you shouldn’t be eating those things anyway, they’ll kill you.

    Begone, foul food nanny!

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 09 04 at 12:38 AM • permalink

  39. I should add—you’ll pry my malt vinegar-covered fries from my cold, dead fingers. Probably. But as another commenter said, what a way to go! Washed down with a good Bass Ale, of course.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 09 04 at 12:40 AM • permalink

  40. #5 S.M.,
    Thanks, why didn’t I make that connection. I’ve got a bottle of the stuff in the cupboard.

    Posted by Daniel San on 2006 09 04 at 01:25 AM • permalink

  41. I have it from a reliable sauce that Kerry was for ketchup before he was agin it.

    Posted by The Prez on 2006 09 04 at 02:01 AM • permalink

  42. I was in France last week and there they don’t use vinegar, ketchup or mustard. They have special fries sauce. Damn fine it is too.

    Posted by Baldman on 2006 09 04 at 03:42 AM • permalink

  43. RebeccaH, as with so much else, I’m with you on this subject. 

    And Dr. Alice, I can remember my brother taking my grandmother to task for her pork roast on a Sunday afternoon.  He explained how all that pork and stuff was going to kill her.  We used to wonder if it would be her cooking habits, however, or the second-hand smoke.  She ran a neighborhood bar for over 50 years, working 12 hour days, seven days a week most weeks for over 30 of those years.  Though she never smoked herself, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who sucked in more second-hand smoke than she.  Poor thing.  Cut off in the prime of life, she was.

    In the end, it was a slip and fall on ice that cracked her head and killed her.  She still had all of her faculties, too, and lived on her own till the day she died.  Grand lady.  Terribly missed.

    None of my grandpas lived long lives, but I had long-lived grandmothers and great grand-mothers on both sides.  And we’re talking about women who lived in a age that saw early deaths, relative to today, for most people.  All of these women would have been appalled at the thought of anyone putting mayo on fries.  Think about it.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 09 04 at 04:37 AM • permalink

  44. Hey, Wimpy Canadian - you better get your fill of poutine before you leave home - there’s none of it here, thank God.  Yes, I spent a year in Quebec and had it several times.  Ye gods, I have a caste iron stomach but that tested things.

    For those who don’t know: poutine appears to be the Quebec version of fast food.  Chips covered in gravy and melted cheese, slopped up by roadside vendors.

    And mate, don’t expect to be let into Godzone without passing the standard test at immigration.  They have a piece of toast on a plate and a choice of peanut butter, marmalade or vegemite to put on it and you have to choose the correct spread.  BIG TIP.  It ain’t the brown stuff.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 09 04 at 07:55 AM • permalink

  45. Candy apple?I thought it was a toffee apple?

    Posted by crash on 2006 09 04 at 09:26 AM • permalink

  46. 44. OK I’ll take the vegimite

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 09 04 at 09:48 AM • permalink

  47. You know, reading this thread I’d say that fries are the most democratic food in existence. So many different ways to enjoy them, and nobody’s inclined to kill each other over their dipping habits despite the differences. (Well, Rebecca’s promising the wrath of God on me, but that’s okay. :P)

    Maybe carpet bombing the Middle East with French fries would work? First good thing you could credit the French with in at least a century too, it would be.

    Posted by PW on 2006 09 04 at 09:52 AM • permalink

  48. Malt Vinegar on french fries?  What are you, some kind of pansy blue-stater?  Frank’s Red Hot Sauce, baby.

    Note that Frank’s is vinegar plus heat; the acidity is indeed relevant. Also note that this was my dear sweet wee wifey’s discovery.

    Posted by triticale on 2006 09 04 at 09:58 AM • permalink

  49. Hot sauce is good on fries too. As is barbecue sauce. Even ketchup. But never, never, never mayonnaise or mustard. (Shudder.)

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 09 04 at 10:14 AM • permalink

  50. Even with my alergy to all tomato-based products… I’ll still eat ketchup on fries if BBQ sauce isn’t available.  It just makes my mouth go numb for the next hour or so.

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2006 09 04 at 10:38 AM • permalink

  51. Y’all should try pommy-style chips, with curry sauce. The chavs swear by it.

    Posted by Daniel San on 2006 09 04 at 11:48 AM • permalink

  52. Oops!  Sorry to visit my own little private narrative again (about my grandmother), but I just realized I didn’t give her age at the time of her death:  She was 98 years young. 

    And she still would have found mayo on fries appalling. ;^)

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 09 04 at 11:57 AM • permalink

  53. #52: God bless her, Salty. Her instincts were right on.

    BTW, I knew a guy from Canada who used to put onions on his pancakes. Surely that was just a case of individual insanity; Wimpy, AndyCanuck, tell me, please, that’s not some kind of national dish.

    Posted by paco on 2006 09 04 at 01:41 PM • permalink

  54. triticale,

    If you like Tabasco or Frank’s you should try Cholula Hot Sauce.  About the same heat as Tabasco or Frank’s but a bit thicker and smokier.  Where I live most restaurants now have it behind the counter along with Tabasco (and sometimes Frank’s).

    Posted by David Crawford on 2006 09 04 at 02:53 PM • permalink

  55. O/T, but since there have been some references to Canada in this thread, Beck draws attention to some hot action between Canadian troops and the Taliban in Afghanistan. As Beck says, “Go Canada!”

    Posted by paco on 2006 09 04 at 04:01 PM • permalink

  56. Them Mounties ALWAYS get their man..

    Posted by crash on 2006 09 05 at 09:49 AM • permalink

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