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NELSON WINS

Brendan Nelson is the new leader of the federal Liberal Party. Julie Bishop deputy.

UPDATE. Rudd names his cabinet; Peter Garrett demoted.

UPDATE II. The man just won’t quit:

Prime minister-elect Kevin Rudd spoke uninterrupted today for a staggering 30 minutes in a frightening sign of what may be to come in a Labor-ruled Australia.

Announcing his front bench, Mr Rudd almost finished after 25 minutes but remembered he had forgotten to speak about a minister - and started talking again …

The performance from Mr Rudd, who became a household name through chatty appearances on breakfast television while in opposition, follows his lengthy and unremarkable acceptance speech on Saturday when he was elected.

UPDATE III:

It took Mr Rudd 20 minutes to run through the list - and he forgot to mention Communications Minister Stephen Conroy and Assistant Treasurer Chris Bowen.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/28/2007 at 09:44 PM
  1. A victory for commonsense. The party’s experimentation with Northshore luvviedom lasted all of 4 days. Pity it wasn’t Nelson Munz though.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 28 at 09:51 PM • permalink

  2. The first thing Nelson should do is rethink the Libs’ approach to climate change policy, which was influenced to much by the now-defeated Mr Turnbull. 

    The planet has not warmed since 1998, even though CO2 levels have been increasing.  Time for some evidence-based policy formation, Dr Nelson.  Show some guts and some leadership on this issue.

    Posted by Alex of Canberra on 2007 11 28 at 10:05 PM • permalink

  3. Great. It’s battle of the androids.

    The T41Nelson, built on the old Liberal Party model, has been getting a bit rusty lately and belching steam; but the X4V22Rudd has been untested in a range of android battle environments.

    Who can tell who the victor will be?

    Posted by TimT on 2007 11 28 at 10:07 PM • permalink

  4. TimT - you may have stuffed the links. Those are both the same android…

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 28 at 10:08 PM • permalink

  5. Nelson is as much a twat as Turnbull is. 
    Hockey’s the only one who appeals to the public. Maybe he was smart enough to know there was no-one decent to run with.

    Posted by Mr Simmon on 2007 11 28 at 10:10 PM • permalink

  6. #5 I’m not so sure.  Hockey remindes me of Beazley too much.  Nice bloke but doesn’t come accross as PM material.  But maybe that’s just me.  I’m happy to have Nelson over Turnull.

    Posted by 8_8_8 on 2007 11 28 at 10:14 PM • permalink

  7. Julia Gillard Minister for Industrial Relations andEducation

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 28 at 10:16 PM • permalink

  8. Hockey is also as wet and limp on policy as a Kevin Rudd handshake.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 11 28 at 10:16 PM • permalink

  9. Let us remeber that whoever is opposition leader now, will not be running as leader in 3 years time. They are purely a sacrificial anode. Hopefull some hate filled, baby blood drinking, economic rationalist, small government type emerges from the pack. Hopefully I wake up with a 10 inch dick too.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 28 at 10:16 PM • permalink

  10. #9- I was hoping it would be Turnbull for precisely that reason.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 28 at 10:22 PM • permalink

  11. Quentin - you’re right! Unless it’s just another cunning trick by the android makers…

    Posted by TimT on 2007 11 28 at 10:22 PM • permalink

  12. An easy win for the Libs in the ‘who’s got the hottest deputy stakes’. Not that there was any competition.
    And, contrary to earlier posts, you will find that the last time Malcolm Turnbull lived on the north shore was as a boarder at Sydney Grammar Prep School (thats about 40 years ago) while John Howard has lived on the north shore for decades. Just a bit of geographical correctness from an overly pedantic poster.

    Posted by Harold on 2007 11 28 at 10:22 PM • permalink

  13. (Is this the lamest excuse ever for a stuff up, or what?)

    Posted by TimT on 2007 11 28 at 10:23 PM • permalink

  14. Don’t the Liberal Party have any Cantonese speaking autocrats in their ranks?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 28 at 10:29 PM • permalink

  15. O/T
    Bob Woolmer drugged and murdered? Panorama programme.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 28 at 10:35 PM • permalink

  16. Best possible outcome for Costello as it keeps lots of 2010 options open.

    Posted by greenpike on 2007 11 28 at 10:37 PM • permalink

  17. Nelson is a decent choice as a leader for the next 18 months, but I can’t picture him being Opposition Leader when we hit the polls in 2010.

    Julie Bishop is an excellent choice, and I can picture her leading the party in 18 months.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 28 at 10:40 PM • permalink

  18. #7 The classic leftist portfolios.

    Posted by tdw77 on 2007 11 28 at 10:43 PM • permalink

  19. 7 - that makes a nonsense then of their making IR and Education revolution priorities.  There is no way she can do it all, and be deputy dawg, which suggests to me, this is little kev’s way of keeping firmer control over these 2 portfolios - have them right next door to you!

    Imagine Julia giving talks to schools with her elocution?  urgh!  I’ll admit it has improved remarkably in the last few weeks, but we’ll see.

    Posted by peter m on 2007 11 28 at 10:44 PM • permalink

  20. #19 I think I haven’t given the people at Slater & Gordon enough credit. I mean, she was a partner, and can you picture sitting there for at least an hour in a partners’ meeting listening to her, especially before the elocution lessons?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 28 at 10:46 PM • permalink

  21. Nice revolution Julia’s going to be running. Watch out for those “trade schools” kiddies. Little Timmy will be assigned a union card and then posted to Grey Tractor Factory 37 until he eventually dies waiting in a queue for his laptop.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 28 at 10:50 PM • permalink

  22. #10
    Might’ve been a good Trojan Hoarse but prolly would’ve knocked over the pot plants in the foyer on the way through ... a Turnbull in a China shop ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 28 at 10:56 PM • permalink

  23. senator Peny Wong as minister for climate change and water.

    Who got fairy tales and beer?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 28 at 10:59 PM • permalink

  24. #23
    Rudd heads Wong way on Climate Change?

    One for meeja watch ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 28 at 11:06 PM • permalink

  25. And Stephen Smith at Foreign Affairs!- Is Rudd   trying to change our international image from evil to stupid?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 28 at 11:16 PM • permalink

  26. I hope there’s a 3 month probation period on these duffers.

    #25 - Someone get Stephen an atlas and explain to him that his portfolio has nothing to do with Contiki Tours and Euro tottie.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 28 at 11:20 PM • permalink

  27. #9 “Hopefull some hate filled, baby blood drinking, economic rationalist, small government type emerges from the pack
    And if there is a God, this Liberal saviour will emerge after the next election in the form of…Hajnal Ban. mmmmmmmm Hajnal Ban.
    Hopefully I wake up with a 10 inch dick too
    What, you mean not everbody has a 10 inch dick?  Dammit, I feel like such a freak now.

    Posted by Mr Simmon on 2007 11 28 at 11:22 PM • permalink

  28. Mr Garrett will have responsibility for climate change measures such as implementing solar energy and water efficiency programs.

    And don’t forget the harnessing of spastic energy. Five minutes of Garret doin’ the Funky Bandicoot could light up a small town.

    Garrett is going to be Minister of “environment, heritage and arts”. Isn’t that kind of a strange combination? In the U.S., that would be like having a Secretary of Education, Credit Unions and Alfalfa Genetics.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 28 at 11:25 PM • permalink

  29. “Julia Gillard is a first class human being ...” Mr Rudd has said.

    I hope he tables the DNA evidence in parliament and doesn’t expect us to take her claim to be a member of the human race on faith.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 28 at 11:33 PM • permalink

  30. #8, True, but look what happened on Saturday.  A reasonably likeable bloke running on platitudes and vague policies won the day.

    Posted by Mr Simmon on 2007 11 28 at 11:35 PM • permalink

  31. #28- that would be like having a Secretary of Education, Credit Unions and Alfalfa Genetics.

    Paco,that would be Jooolia our new Minister of Industrial Relations, Education and (God help us) Social Inclusion.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 28 at 11:36 PM • permalink

  32. It looks like the MSM are suffering from buyer’s remorse already:

    Oh no, is this what we voted for?

    Thankfully, it wasn’t in Mandarin.

    Prime minister-elect Kevin Rudd spoke uninterrupted today for a staggering 30 minutes after being late - again - for a key press conference in a frightening sign of what may be to come in a Labor-ruled Australia.
    ...
    The excruciating performance from Mr Rudd, who became a household name through chatty appearances on breakfast television, follows his lengthy and unremarkable acceptance speech on Saturday when he was elected.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 11 28 at 11:38 PM • permalink

  33. “Julia Gillard is a first class human being with a first class mind,” Mr Rudd has said.
    Is kevni trying to dispel that more human than human rumour?
    And Peter Garrett?  Three years of traveling around primary schools handing out surplus keveseven tee shirts to every grade 2 class which uses redirected bubbler water for their carrot-top-in-a-dish project.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 28 at 11:45 PM • permalink

  34. Shame Abbot didn’t have the numbers. He would have been a disaster for sure-but damn it would have provided us with some good entertainment as we watched him self-destruct.

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 28 at 11:47 PM • permalink

  35. indigenous affairs, Jenny Macklin!

    what did they do to deserve that?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 28 at 11:52 PM • permalink

  36. Rudd was 15 minutes late getting to the press conference. The radio presenter here, with his program on standby, was not impressed.

    Did anyone count how many times Rudd said “first class”? Sheesh!

    A talkback caller on 6PR this morning told of union heavies manning the gates on a building site. The caller is the owner/operator of a tilt-tray delivering bobcats and the like to building sites. The driveway was blocked by a ute. He was told to sign up for union membership or no access. He declined and had to drive away.

    Didn’t take long, did it?

    BTW, he drove around the back, breached a partition-type wall and delivered the goods. No doubt they’ll be onto that one next time.

    Posted by SandiM on 2007 11 28 at 11:52 PM • permalink

  37. #34 - Who’s “we” cocksmoker?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 28 at 11:54 PM • permalink

  38. 36 - And I believe everything I hear on right-wing talkback radio too…and Santa Claus is real right?

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 28 at 11:58 PM • permalink

  39. “Julia Gillard is a first class human being with a first-class mind,” Mr Rudd said.

    Well shit, I thought he said Glass in each case. Then I cleaned the eyeballs.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 28 at 11:58 PM • permalink

  40. #39: Are you sure he didn’t say first grade?

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 29 at 12:00 AM • permalink

  41. Does anyone else find it slightly ironic that the Libs spend an entire election campaign bemoaning the dearth of former union bosses on Labor’s frontbench, then elect a former union boss of the most powerful union in the land as their leader?

    Oh, Labor’ going to have fun with this one, boys.

    Posted by AlexanderH on 2007 11 29 at 12:03 AM • permalink

  42. Santa Claus is real right?

    Well of course. Why do you think WE lashed that British lady 40 times? I mean she insulted Santa, by naming a teddy bear after him.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 29 at 12:06 AM • permalink

  43. #41 So that’s one ex-union official vs how many? Obviously learnt your maths in a government school eh?

    Posted by Gibbo on 2007 11 29 at 12:10 AM • permalink

  44. Are you sure he didn’t say first grade?

    Well, off camera with mike still on, yes he did…in hushed tone he added a B word to grade.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 29 at 12:11 AM • permalink

  45. #41 - The AMA the most powerful union in the land? That’d be news to them and the rest of the union movement.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 12:11 AM • permalink

  46. #31

    Minister of “Social Inclusion”?  What on earth would a Minister of Social Inclusion do?  Sounds like one of those employees on a cruise line tht tries to make sure everyone has a fun time..:)

    In reading the posts I was hoping that Mr.Nelson would meet with a more favourable response but,at least, y’all seem unimpressed with Rudd’s picks.  One out of two will have to do.

    *interested seppo*

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 29 at 12:11 AM • permalink

  47. Julia Gillard is a first class human being with a first class mind ...

    Is that the kiss of death akin to ‘The Minister has my full support’ a la Yes Minister?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 29 at 12:12 AM • permalink

  48. Brendan Nelson, in that photo looks as though he’s about to burst out laughing.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 29 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  49. #46 - Minister of Social Inclusion

    Spends the next three years scouring nightclubs for wallflowers encouraging them to dance.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  50. #17 Ash
    I can picture Julie Bishop doing a lot of things, but out of deference to your opinion, I’ll add “lead the party” to my mental album, Ash.

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 29 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  51. #32, give KRudd a little more time and he’ll be like Castro rabbiting on for hours and hours and hours….yawn.

    Posted by Kami on 2007 11 29 at 12:22 AM • permalink

  52. #49
    There is, I am told, medication available that gives people the urge to dance, even the wallflower types. Especially the wallflower types.

    Methinks much more effective, at least in the short term, than a ministerial pronouncement.

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 29 at 12:23 AM • permalink

  53. UPDATE. Rudd names his cabinet; Peter Garrett demoted demented.

    Fixed!

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 12:25 AM • permalink

  54. #41 not really, but your dearth of knowledge of word definitions is pretty amusing

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 29 at 12:26 AM • permalink

  55. Addressing the troops

    Mr Rudd was greeted with a prolonged standing ovation as he entered the caucus meeting, addressing Labor MPs in the manner of a victorious army chief.

    “We have struggled in the fields, we have fought the good fight, and we have prevailed,” Mr Rudd has said.

    “I look around this room and see so many faces with whom I have fought in the trenches this last year.  It is such a delight to see each and every one of you here and I salute the efforts which you have made.”

    This is the homily in line with his previous ‘baton in the backpack’ spiel re: previous ALP leadership spills. If he turns up to greet the real troops, he might be in for a distinct shock at their attitudes towards him. Picture Billary and the young grunt giving the ‘under duress’ sign in a photop several years ago from the States. As for the orange roughie reviewing the parade and taking the salute, spare me!

    Posted by CB on 2007 11 29 at 12:28 AM • permalink

  56. #31 46, 49:  This ‘social inclusion’ thing: Include me out.

    Posted by Big Jim on 2007 11 29 at 12:34 AM • permalink

  57. #50 Ha ha ha. Pickles, I’m not sure I want to know what you can picture her doing.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 12:40 AM • permalink

  58. #55
    Strike me pink! He’s ripped that bit straight out of the Monarch Notes on Henry V.
    I didn’t know the 24th was St Crispin’s Day.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 29 at 12:41 AM • permalink

  59. Nelson is more ideological than Turnbill, who is more of a pragmatist.

    The early years in opposition are extremely difficult. Better to argue from a ideological viewpoint at this early stage as there will be room to move later.

    Do not rule out Costello in 2 years time.

    Posted by Craig Burden on 2007 11 29 at 12:42 AM • permalink

  60. #41 Al, the difference is, and you may have trouble following this.

    Labor:
    100% Union members
    70% of front bench are Union officials

    Liberal:
    <15% Union members
    1 senior Minister, now the Leader of the Opposition, is a Union official

    Labor: led by unions
    Liberal: led by business

    And Labor won’t have all that much fun with it, because they’d lose that argument.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 12:42 AM • permalink

  61. What demographic were these aimed at? Garrett saves the environment, starting in the garden. Your garden.

    Wayne Swan gives us some budgeting tips.

    Some tips from Wayne on
    saving money buying petrol.

    Garrett gives us shopping tips. And the champion sound bite “Kevin Rudd and I are committed…”
    Yeah, certifiable…

    This place is a gold mine!

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 12:44 AM • permalink

  62. Hmmmm, perplexing.

    A Minister for Broadband but no minister for dial-up.

    There’s no Dept of Homeland Security - expect plenty of jokes about non-core promises - but I’m glad to see there is now a minister for social inclusion - how did we survive all this time without one?

    Posted by Pig Head Sucker on 2007 11 29 at 12:45 AM • permalink

  63. #61 I don’t really need help with my garden from Garrett Kae, I’m killing it just fine on my own.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 12:47 AM • permalink

  64. Bishop vs. Gillard. Pity it wasn’t Kate Ellis in a underwear and pillows cage match.

    As long as there’s not another Bali, requiring real leadership, the next 3 years are going to rock like an old man with Parkinsons!

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 12:51 AM • permalink

  65. #55

    “We have struggled in the fields, we have fought the good fight, and we have prevailed,” Mr Rudd has said.

    Who the hell does he think he is? Churchill?

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 12:57 AM • permalink

  66. #58
    No, he’s a plagiarist.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 12:59 AM • permalink

  67. #65 - He’s not fit to sniff the jocks that once carried Churchill’s nuts.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 01:00 AM • permalink


  68. 1 senior Minister, now the Leader of the Opposition, is a Union official

    IS? He hasn’t been one since at least 1996. Eleven years ago I was only in my teens…

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 29 at 01:00 AM • permalink

  69. #68 Yet another reason I shouldn’t type while distracted. Thanks for fixing that Quentin.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 01:03 AM • permalink

  70. We are at War.  Australians are dying in combat with the enemy and the ALP go and make Smith the FM and a no-namer the Def Min and a hick as Min for Defence and Science Personell (not that it is very important in the bigger picture).

    The ADF has got the message very early about what the ALP truely think about them.

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 29 at 01:26 AM • permalink

  71. Jooolia our new Minister of Industrial Relations, Education and (God help us) Social Inclusion Intrusion

    That’s better

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 11 29 at 01:30 AM • permalink

  72. Brendan Nelson!  He of the error-prone mouth?

    He who made a bit of a mess of the Defence portfolio? Who was a root cause of Private Kovco shambles?  Who said that:

    The need to secure oil supplies is a factor in Australia’s continued military involvement in Iraq?

    That oil was a factor in Australia’s contribution to the unpopular war, as “energy security” and stability in the Middle East would be crucial to the nation’s future?

    That defence was about protecting the economy as well as physical security, and it was important to support the “prestige” of the US and UK?

    God help us.

    All I can think is that Malcolm Turnbull lost out because of his stance on Kyoto, saying “Sorry” and an Australian republic.

    Posted by ann j on 2007 11 29 at 01:33 AM • permalink

  73. After the initial melancholia set in for 5 minutes after the election result, the wags at this site are proving that it’s going to be one hell of an entertaining three years.

    The best thing about the change in leadership and all those who mocked Howard, is now it’s their turn. Over to you ‘experts’ now lads. Time to sit back and just watch the fun.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 29 at 01:40 AM • permalink

  74. #73 Imagine the hysteria if we take the piss out of Rudd as much as they attempted to take the piss out of Howard.

    But to more important things Nic: where will the Blues finish on the ladder next year?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 01:46 AM • permalink

  75. #72 relax, Kev’s appointed people who can be relied on never to tell it like it is or act in the nation’s interest. So there’s no need for you to think (and judging by the first effort, I recommend you don’t try it again).

    Posted by larrikin on 2007 11 29 at 01:47 AM • permalink

  76. Gillard’s education revolution.

    How long before the kiddies
    start coming home screaming
    “capitalist pigs” at their
    parents and putting a boot
    through the big screen TV
    while refusing to shower or
    use lightbulbs.

    *And in breaking news, Julia
    has just announced that the
    “one notebook per child”
    computer scheme has been
    scrapped.

    It from now on will be
    “one red book” per child.

    Posted by dver on 2007 11 29 at 01:52 AM • permalink

  77. In 2004, Joel completed a Graduate Certificate in Business Administration at the University of Newcastle.  Earlier as a mature age student, he had completed a number of subjects towards an Arts/Law degree at the University of New England.

    Joel is an also ran. He’s never quite gotten to the front of the queue, never quite become the captain of the team, never first pick in the draft. Complelted only a third of his MBA. Didn’t finish an Arts degree. Deputy Mayor. Now Bozo the Clown has seen fit to put him in charge of the largest government agency with a budget of 20 billion a year? I’d rather see Faulkner in the job than an amateur.

    Posted by CB on 2007 11 29 at 01:58 AM • permalink

  78. Feeling like a bit of a Nigel-no-friends?
    Just dial 1800-joolya and someone from the Ministry of Social Inclusion will see you well sorted.
    (Although comrade joolya’s previous penchant for selling the “one stop shop” for industrial relations might lead punters to believe she’s running a federally mandated knocking shop.)

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 29 at 02:01 AM • permalink

  79. Turnbull named Shadow Treasurer.

    Probably expected. Bishop going to be….Foreign Affairs, perhaps?

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 29 at 02:04 AM • permalink

  80. My take on Gillard’s ‘Social Inclusion’ responsibilities - it’s either:
    1 - persuading the more vocal of Australia’s muslim population that perhaps they should stop calling the rest of us kaffirs and infidels; or
    2 - after giving every Australian kiddy a laptop and highspeed broadband, telling them they shouldn’t spend 24 hours a day on World of Warcraft and internet P*rn.

    Either way, I almost feel sorry for the ghastly ginger ambulance-chaser.

    Posted by squawkbox on 2007 11 29 at 02:04 AM • permalink

  81. Imagine the deliberations over who would get small business.

    KR: Alright comrades, whose ever invested any of their own capital or run a business that didn’t rely on the Government tit?

    PARTY ROOM:

    KR: What was that? Who said that?

    JG: I think Emerson just farted.

    KR: Good enough for me. Craig you’re small business minister.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 02:08 AM • permalink

  82. #74 Ash,
    a most important question. My first response would be ‘so long as they finish above the Pies’. Judd will be good. I’m not that convinced in having ‘goggles’ as coach. Just out of the 8 I think.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 29 at 02:10 AM • permalink

  83. #79 - It’s Julia vs. Julia in IR. Battle of the FemBots.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 02:10 AM • permalink

  84. #27,
    #

    “Hopefully I wake up with a 10 inch dick too”
    What, you mean not everbody has a 10 inch dick?  Dammit, I feel like such a freak now.
    Posted by Mr Simmon on 2007 11 28 at 11:22 PM • permalink


    Pog stealthily hands Mr Simmon a scrap of paper with her phone number on it. ;-)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 29 at 02:11 AM • permalink

  85. #83 - Make that Julie vs. Julia.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 02:11 AM • permalink

  86. Er, Nelson is personally responsible for the guy who was supposed to be accompanying the body back got careless?  I understand the buck stops with him, but was he supposed to predict that would happen?  Not guilty.

    And one reason for our continuing involvement in the gulf is exactly to secure oil supplies.  Not so we can steal it (in case lefty morons are reading), but for the world’s trading nations that depend on its free movement.  The alternative is to let Iran close the straits of Hormuz anytime they feel like screwing with us, which is often.

    All I can think is that Malcolm Turnbull lost out because of his stance on Kyoto, saying “Sorry” and an Australian republic.

    ...and banning light globes.  I sincerely hope so.

    Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2007 11 29 at 02:14 AM • permalink

  87. I was waiting with interest to see who would be appointed as Defence Minister, and I was not disappointed, some numpty who has never pulled on a boot gets the job.

    Like Razor (#70), I can see that it is pretty obvious what sort of priority the Dear Leader will be giving to the ADF.

    Could have been worse, I suppose. Maxine McHogget might have got the nod. The scenes of mutiny at barracks and bases around the country would have been spectacular!

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 11 29 at 02:14 AM • permalink

  88. #82 I’m glad we got Judd Nic. Awesome player, and smart enough to want to get away from the West CokeCoast Eagles when it was all turning to shit over there.

    I think he’ll inspire the rest of the team to try harder.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 02:15 AM • permalink

  89. Ash & Nic: I think just outside the eight is our fate this time around.  Poised nicely for 2009.

    Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2007 11 29 at 02:20 AM • permalink

  90. #89 Ahhh, Mr Hackenbacker, another enlightened Carlton supporter?

    I’m tipping about 10th next year, but I’d love anywhere between 1st and 3rd.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 02:23 AM • permalink

  91. Ash - Carlton and Judd will get what they deserve.

    Judd’s choice of gilrfriend should have alerted us to his moral weaknesses.

    I hope his groin feels like he’s been kicked by a really pissed off Droughtmaster bull.

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 29 at 02:27 AM • permalink

  92. Well that identifies the West Coast supporter!

    Don’t be bitter.  Masten, Kennedy, & Notte are a pretty good trade.  You’ve got at least two ten-year players there.

    Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2007 11 29 at 02:31 AM • permalink

  93. A question.

    Rudd named Fitzgibbon as Minister of Defence.
    Under “Outer Ministry” they list two others for defence.  I take it that they are like Assistant Ministers of Defence?

    None of you seem too pleased with Fitzgibbon.  How about Stephen Smith as Minister of Foreign Affairs?  I hope they have some meat to them since these are critical jobs, geez.

    Just as an aside, I see that there is a Minister for “Deregulation”  How soon before that gets changed to “Rerugulation”?

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 29 at 02:37 AM • permalink

  94. put me down as a blues man.
    we are the might blues,
    the old dark navy blues,
    we’re the greatest team,
    we’ll never let you down,
    or let a dick like Kevn in town.

    Posted by larrikin on 2007 11 29 at 02:41 AM • permalink

  95. Ash,

    Obviously the way to the second spot is to start as a lawyer. Therefore to get in to the Grand Final (and to help Judd at the tribunal) Carlton need female lawyers.

    They could probably play better football too.

    Hoping my team says no to the Gold Coast.

    Posted by Pa Feral on 2007 11 29 at 02:42 AM • permalink

  96. Just as an aside, I see that there is a Minister for “Deregulation”

    The fact the ALP came to power on a platform of workplace re-regulation, I can’t fathom why they want to name a department that.

    Unless it’s just a case of style over substance. Not our Kevni.

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 29 at 02:44 AM • permalink

  97. Stephen Smith, Lindsay Tanner, and Bob McMullen all seem like they have common sense and don’t drink the kool-aid.  I could be wrong of course.  The worst thing I can say about Smith and Tanner is that I don’t think they have the “ticker”.

    Swann as treasurer isn’t convincing.  He’s always seemed sensible, but I’ve never pegged him above mediocre as a talent or thinker.  The ALP was wise to hide him until after the election.

    Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2007 11 29 at 02:45 AM • permalink

  98. #93

    Or even"Reregulation”, geez.  Or should I make that “ReRuddulation”!?

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 29 at 02:45 AM • permalink

  99. #91 I have no idea who his girlfriend is. I try not to pay attention to the offground antics.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 02:49 AM • permalink

  100. #94 Attaman Larrikin!

    No better team in the AFL!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 02:50 AM • permalink

  101. #95 Are you telling me I should get cracking on a law degree to defend Judd so we win the Premiership? I like the way you think.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 02:51 AM • permalink

  102. #80
    Re your no.1
    I think social inclusion may work the other way.
    We’ll be reminded not to give any cause to be declared kaffirs or infidels. 
    To make Australia feel more like home for all newcomers.
    Southern Lebanon, without the incoming.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 29 at 02:52 AM • permalink

  103. How the fuck did this become a Carlton thread in cricket season? Sod off and die, you garlic munching, cheats.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 02:52 AM • permalink

  104. #103 Sorry Tiger, but surely this Carlton talk can’t hurt as much as Traceeee comparing herself to Richo?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 02:55 AM • permalink

  105. Where are Carmen Lawrence, Joan Kirner, Cheryl Kernot, Reba “Ma’r” etc?

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2007 11 29 at 02:55 AM • permalink

  106. I think Smith is probably not too bad. I think he was assistant treasurer or something in the last ALP government. He has some experience as a minister and i’m pretty sure he’s from the right of the WA party.

    The guy that worries me is Kim Carr. He’s an old style interventionist industry-policy type who would think nothing of throwing taxpayer money to pick winners in whatever is the latest fad industry or at whoever bleats the loudest. Anyone who saw him doing senate estimates last time would also have to agree that he’s dumb, really really dumb.

    Posted by Francis H on 2007 11 29 at 02:56 AM • permalink

  107. #106 that’d be Kim il Carr, I reckon

    Posted by larrikin on 2007 11 29 at 03:00 AM • permalink

  108. Thank you for the input on the foreign affairs minister.  I hope he surprises to the upside since this is so critical, especially in the next year before the lights go out here in the US.

    I think Brown in the UK has some thirty something ex-internet minister, or whatever, as his foreign affairs sec.  Good God almighty.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 29 at 03:02 AM • permalink

  109. Speaking of footer, what team(s) does Dear Leader support?

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 29 at 03:04 AM • permalink

  110. AS for Nelson I was a bit surprised as I assumed Turnbull would get it. I suppose Nelson’s greater experience won over plus there might be some feeling that to throw Turnbull in at this stage might be risk wasting his potential appeal. The odds are the new leader will not last the time needed to beat Rudd. Nelson is relatively safe and can maintain the liberal vote for a future leader to use as a base for winning government.

    Posted by Francis H on 2007 11 29 at 03:04 AM • permalink

  111. #109 - Now that JWH has left, he’s not sure, but is claiming the Brisbane Lions until the focus groups get back with the results. Can’t wait to see him hanging out in the dressing rooms with Wallabies after a test win or sharing a stub with Ricky and the boys!

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 03:08 AM • permalink

  112. Nelson is only the rebound guy. Everyone knows that when you break up from a long relationship you never stay with the next guy, you’re waiting for the next one after that, he’s usually the keeper.

    Posted by Westietoo on 2007 11 29 at 03:09 AM • permalink

  113. And though this is probably more relevant to a previous thread, could I suggest people seeing all the “liberal party is finished” headlines take these with a massive dose of salt (yes current and potential trolls, i’m also talking to you) The same headlines were used during the late 80s and early 90s (just before 11 years of government) and the same was said of the labor party shortly after losing in 1996 and at various times after. Except that I have almost limitless capacity for believing in the stupidity and gullibility of journalists I’d be surprised that they are using the same old saw again.

    Posted by Francis H on 2007 11 29 at 03:09 AM • permalink

  114. #109 Whoever’s winning, I suspect.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 03:09 AM • permalink

  115. Westietoo. I think you’ve got it spot on.

    Posted by Francis H on 2007 11 29 at 03:10 AM • permalink

  116. #111 I.T.

    I’m going to piss myself laughing. You watch, it’ll be better than most of the matches themselves. Ole Tarquin Milquetoast, snigger.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 29 at 03:11 AM • permalink

  117. He says he’s been to the Gabba many many times and was talking about “quarters” which makes me think he currently supports the Lions.

    Or the Red Rooster across the road in Vulture St.

    I’m sure I’ve seen him full as a state school down the Storey Bridge pub after a big win by the Lions, sculling schooners,pissing in pot plants, wandering around the front bar with his chop hanging out, giving the bouncers and coppers big mobs of lip and then trying to get a maxi load together to slip up to the knock shop.

    He’s really a top bloke you know, a mad keen punter from way back, footy man, barra fisherman, can tie a mudcrab up in 3.2 secs and you’ve never seen his like pullin sand worms up at Fraser when the Tailor are on the go.

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 29 at 03:28 AM • permalink

  118. #46 It’s not the Minister for Social Inclusion that has me concerned - it’s the whole fucking Department of Social Inclusion that’s going to grow like mushies after the rain….

    Way to boost employment, Kevni!

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 11 29 at 03:30 AM • permalink

  119. Has anyone figured out yet what this Department of Social Inclusion does yet?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 03:46 AM • permalink

  120. #93 and the other one.

    I think s/he’s in charge if the metamucil.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 03:50 AM • permalink

  121. $orry

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 03:56 AM • permalink

  122. #121
    is an advert, don’t blame me, I didn’t do it. (It’s funny, but)

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 03:57 AM • permalink

  123. #109
    1. Who cares.
    2. That namby-p a football supporter? (He’s pretended to support an AFL team I think. Many thought it was fake.)

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 04:00 AM • permalink

  124. So.
    Who’s responsible for throwing open the immigration doors?
    How long until the boats start arriving again?

    Just wonderin’.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 04:01 AM • permalink

  125. Haven’t read through the comments yet, so if anyone has already posted JWH’s final message to the Australian electorate. I do apoligise.

    Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 11 29 at 04:05 AM • permalink

  126. #117,

    I rather thought the fellow might sing ‘under the Southern cross’ with the cricket lads and then spray the audience with a crownie.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 29 at 04:11 AM • permalink

  127. Kevni 07 Churchill complex rears it’s ugly head…..

    His opening remarks to caucus….

    “We have struggled in the fields, we have fought the good fight, and we have prevailed,” Mr Rudd has said.

    Seems no word of fighting them on the beaches…

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 11 29 at 04:26 AM • permalink

  128. #113
    The Libs don’t need an interim klutz like Turnbull consigning them to the wilderness for 40 years, either ...

    Even Crikey concedes that the Libs need some ‘brand’ differentiation, or they’ll get nowhere ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 29 at 04:45 AM • permalink

  129. O/T
    Anyone else watching the overcashed pilots on ABC building their art-deco home, oops, environmentally friendly art-deco home?
    It’s beautiful, but honestly, environmentally friendly commercial pilots?

    Puhleeze!

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 04:48 AM • permalink

  130. #125 that’s great- what he should have said saturday night.

    this one of Rudd’s pretty spot on too

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 29 at 04:59 AM • permalink

  131. Prime minister-elect Kevin Rudd spoke uninterrupted today for a staggering 30 minutes in a frightening sign of what may be to come in a Labor-ruled Australia.

    It’s a left wing thing. Castro and Chavez are known for their epic speeches.

    Julia Gillard Minister for Industrial Relations and Education

    Another left wing thing. Education is the left’s word for brain washing. It is a perfect fit for Marxist Gillard

    Final comment, if Rudd didn’t heed factional leaders how the hell did Anthony Albanese get a portfolio?

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 11 29 at 05:03 AM • permalink

  132. John Howard was a fine example of a keen Australian spectator. He was knowledgable about the game (whichever game) and if anyone had bothered to check the International Sporting Calendars, November 24th was a shoe in.  Not one game or race worth mentioning to take away the shine from the election.

    #101 Ash I said SECOND. The only other team I prefer SECOND is Collingwood. Get so close but no cigar. Pure joy watching their supporters.

    Posted by Pa Feral on 2007 11 29 at 05:09 AM • permalink

  133. I hope everyone just witnessed Brendan Nelson’s first slapdown of Red Kezza.

    Nice.. very nice.

    Posted by duncanm on 2007 11 29 at 05:10 AM • permalink

  134. #133
    7:30 report?  (I’m in Qld, 1hour and 20 years behind….)

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 05:12 AM • permalink

  135. We in Smart State (QLD)have yet to see that because we don’t have daylight saving.The ABC news is ratting on in the lounge—had to leave my wife to watch. I couldn’t. Rudd and his ministers.I’ll go back to watch Nelson and Red Kezza when it comes on.

    Posted by Hoges on 2007 11 29 at 05:17 AM • permalink

  136. Couldn’t agree more Contrail. Albanese is the quintessential lefty-dweeby-thinks-smarter-than-everyone-in-the room turd. Total talentless political hack.

    Posted by Francis H on 2007 11 29 at 05:18 AM • permalink

  137. Mark Colvin on Radio National was also going after Nelson with all pop guns blazing. Nelson didn’t do too badly.

    ABC must be under instruction already not to give any new lib leader a look in. Certainly contrasts with Rudd’s extended honeymoon.

    Posted by Francis H on 2007 11 29 at 05:21 AM • permalink

  138. #134. indeed.  Make sure you don’t miss it.

    Posted by duncanm on 2007 11 29 at 05:27 AM • permalink

  139. Julia, Minister for Socialist Fusion.

    #93
    The name won’t be changed to Re-regulation, but something along the lines of “Fair ...”. Only its charter will be re-regulation.

    It’s like the old children’s books where two sentences in different coloured ink are superimposed and illegible; placing coloured cellophane over the muddle reveals the real sentence. It helps to look at left through Orwell coloured glass.

    Posted by Toiling Mass on 2007 11 29 at 05:33 AM • permalink

  140. #134 On now.

    By the way. Listening to the news.
    Mandate. Mandate. Mandate.

    Guess they aren’t talking about a Brown one?

    ahem.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 05:38 AM • permalink

  141. From the Age: ‘Anti-Nelson website goes live within hours of new Liberal leader’s election’. Tut tut, no negative smears surely?

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 29 at 05:44 AM • permalink

  142. Nelson: Calm, cool, collected. Mopped the floor with Red K.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 05:47 AM • permalink

  143. #9 Don’t know about the 10 inches but we’ve all wakened up with a dick Coalition Leader

    ABC already referring to “progressive Liberals” like Clinton,Streisand et.al.

    WTF is the passport?

    Posted by watty on 2007 11 29 at 05:48 AM • permalink

  144. Well said Dr Nelson.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 05:51 AM • permalink

  145. He certainly told Kezza “Fuck, no.” in the nicest possible way.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 29 at 05:54 AM • permalink

  146. Conroy Communications Minister!

    What will he do with ABC, SBS?

    Bigs steps to the right is only choice he has. Can’t stay where they are… Can’t move them left..

    Will be funny to watch.

    Posted by Gotlieb on 2007 11 29 at 05:55 AM • permalink

  147. Brer Nelson is a bit of a toffee nose, but strikes me as a pretty genuine bloke (he rides a motorbike for fun), but I don’t see him as the next PM unless he manages to repeatedly thrash Dear Leader in Question Time and come up with some more appealing IR policy.

    WA has the advantage of reading on the interwebs about Red Kezza being slapped down two hours before he goes to air here, so we can ring up our mates to watch the slaughter and high five each other.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 11 29 at 06:06 AM • permalink

  148. It’s back to the old days. The ABC will only criticise the government from the left perspective: Say “Sorry”, loudly, NOW!

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 11 29 at 06:06 AM • permalink

  149. Did someone say Penny was batting for the other team? Not that there’s anything wong with that.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 11 29 at 06:08 AM • permalink

  150. Nelson was great.He had Kerry so baffled that he mixed up Fraser with Turnbull. Watched with my wife and we both thought that Nelson is worthy of the role.

    Of course it was an hour later—being the Smart State!!

    Posted by Hoges on 2007 11 29 at 06:08 AM • permalink

  151. With the cold, clammy and locution challenged hagfish Julia Gillard in charge of education, our children will be pronouncing “ably” with three syllables within a few years, unfortunately.

    Posted by Mike_W on 2007 11 29 at 06:11 AM • permalink

  152. #147
    LOL
    Nelson Wins Again!

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 06:22 AM • permalink

  153. Jeez, didn’t you lot read the damned memo??? Some lot of minions you are. Check the noticeboard regularly or I’ll start the floggings again.

    #27,
    #

    “Hopefully I wake up with a 10 inch dick too”
    What, you mean not everbody has a 10 inch dick?  Dammit, I feel like such a freak now.
    Posted by Mr Simmon on 2007 11 28 at 11:22 PM • permalink

    Pog stealthily hands Mr Simmon a scrap of paper with her phone number on it. ;-)

    May I quote?

    Ahem.

    Memo to all Male VRWC Staff

    Following the recent staff survey, and we mean STAFF, not ‘staff’, our Dark Master, Lord Rove, has decided that in order to standardise the VRWC, a new standing order is promulgated relating to STAFF size of all VRWC Henchmen and Minions.

    The survey noted that the Lords of the VRWC were all in the 12” and up staff size. This is natural as all have well-earned reputations as big swinging dicks staffs (BSDS).

    However, Henchmen and Minion staff sizes merely followed the upper edge of the usual range (well, except for Howard the Enceladan). This is not acceptable, for morale purposes.

    As the funding choice was between a comprehensive health plan and rectifying this problem, it was put to the vote.

    Well, that outcome was a no-brainer.

    Starting immediately, all Henchmen and Minions with staff sizes less than 10” are to report to the Penile Augmentation Cloning Office. A minimum staff length of 10” is to be applied across all Henchman and Minion ranks. Those in excess of this figure may retain their natural length. Senior Henchmans Wronwright’s request to have a reduction to “at least above my bloody knees, dammit” is refused.

    Signed (in the blood of cute little puppies)

    The Dark Lord

    I hope this also explains those stupid questions about why the Minionettes are so tired these days, but never stop smiling.

    MarkL
    Minionmeister to the VRWC

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 11 29 at 06:25 AM • permalink

  154. #153 MarkL

    I have 12” below the knees. I call it a foot.

    Posted by Pa Feral on 2007 11 29 at 07:25 AM • permalink


  155. To MarkL
    Minionmeister to the VRWC

    re your diatribe #153

    I was merely offering Mr Simmon my services as a physical psychotherapist to deal with his feelings of over-adequacy.
    To quote, “I feel like such a freak now”. I felt it was my duty as a senior minionette to the VRWC that I help Mr Simmon come over overcome any problems he may have that would lead to him not being up to able to perform his duties to VRWC.
    Yours’ sincerely, Pogria
    Senior Minionette, VRWC

    ps, you still have my phone number, don’t you Mark?

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 29 at 07:48 AM • permalink

  156. Nelson was responsible for the advice never to neglect an opportunity to pump ship, as I recall.  Or maybe it was Wellington.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 11 29 at 07:56 AM • permalink

  157. I cannot imagine a greater boost for the anti-Kyoto campaigners than Rudd’s decision to appoint Peter Garrett as Environment Minister.

    Let the good times roll!

    Posted by John A on 2007 11 29 at 07:59 AM • permalink

  158. Contrary to some, I think the Libs had a choice between some very intelligent and capable people. While I haven’t met or dealt with Nelson, dad has, and reckons him to be both a formidable intellect and a very quick study.

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 29 at 08:38 AM • permalink

  159. Look at the band of time servers, wastrels, trough feeders and general fuckwits that now comprise Australia’s government and despair.

    Naturally the meeja never bothered to examine who was waiting in the ALP wings and about the only time they ever mentioned Kevni’s likely cabinet makeup was to gibber about the rock star and TV talking head (Baldy and McHogget), both of whom prematurely showed their true pinko colours and were emphatically told to shut up, quick smart.

    The Dear Leader made sure that he alone was allowed to utter the platitudes to the multitudes “Zob, zob zob” he cried, and the scribes howled in wonder at his wisdom.

    Has the ALP voters “buyer’s remorse” set in yet? If it hasn’t, it won’t be long.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 11 29 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  160. Nelson?  Turnbull?  Dunno.  I would have liked to see Abbott but electorate obviously wants the quiet life and to be whispered sweet nothings whilst it drifts off into fairyland.

    As for Nelson:

    Backing Kyoto is fair because that’s apparently what the Australian public want.

    However, he’s says they’re going to block the rollback of IR.

    That’s a major mistake.  Terry McCrann was right when he said that the Australian voting public should be made to lie in the bed that they’ve made.

    They shouldn’t block anything.  In the case of IR, Kyoto and “Sorry” they should simply abstain.

    If the Libs block IR rollback they’ll be absolutely destroyed at the next election.

    Regardless, I reckon we’re eventually going to have a repeat of Fraser with Turnbull unless Costello makes a comeback.

    Posted by murph on 2007 11 29 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  161. #161
    Yup, begrudgingly pass the mandated stuff (even Kevni’s wobbly on $orry), but sans the ‘me too’ song-and-dance Turnbull’s been doing in the ‘lectronic meeja, FFS ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 29 at 12:13 PM • permalink

  162. #153 MarkL,

    Ahem.  Mark.  The memo you typed up for Karl based on your dictation of his instructions is a bit off.  When he said “staff”, he meant the precious metal and gem encrusted staff we carry around.  The higher echelon naturally have longer staffs (longer than 12”).  They’re also made of gold and have larger gem stones.  They brandish these when issuing orders to minions.

    The lower level personnel have staffs made up of varying metals and covered with an array of items, the lowest carrying birch sticks.

    He most certainly did not mean penises.

    And I think you might have been mistaken about me wanting my penis shortened.  I’m fairly certain about that.  Although if rumors are already being circulated that I’m complaining about my penis being too long, I wouldn’t advocate trying to stop them.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 11 29 at 03:07 PM • permalink

  163. #163
    Oh, you mean like a pace stick?

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 03:29 PM • permalink

  164. More like the ceremonial staffs that the German officers carried in WWII.  Although they’re more than able to give a good lump on one’s head, believe me.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 11 29 at 04:24 PM • permalink

  165. #163: The lower level personnel have staffs made up of varying metals and covered with an array of items, the lowest carrying birch sticks.

    Hey! (Reaches into shirt pocket and extracts VRWC “staff”, recently received in mail). The lowest grade is birch sticks? Well, I’m staring at mine right now, and this thing looks like a Q-tip, to me. And why did the outside of the envelope it came in say “Forensic evidence, Prisoner 980-435789, Melvin “Shiv Daddy” Johnson? Something doesn’t seem right about this.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 29 at 05:24 PM • permalink

  166. CB: Re Joel Fitzgibbons modest achievements:
    In 2004, Joel completed a Graduate Certificate in Business Administration at the University of Newcastle.  Earlier as a mature age student, he had completed a number of subjects towards an Arts/Law degree at the University of New England.
    Joel is an also ran. He’s never quite gotten to the front of the queue, never quite become the captain of the team, never first pick in the draft. Complelted only a third of his MBA. Didn’t finish an Arts degree. Deputy Mayor. Now Bozo the Clown has seen fit to put him in charge of the largest government agency with a budget of 20 billion a year? I’d rather see Faulkner in the job than an amateur.

    Hang out, that may be a bit harsh on Joel. He has achieved membership of one of the world’s smallest, most exclusive clubs: He’s a friend of Mark Latham.

    Posted by Big Jim on 2007 11 29 at 06:05 PM • permalink

  167. #167
    Yes, Big Jim, but that club is small and exclusive because noone wants to be in it.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 06:17 PM • permalink

  168. Very funny sentence in the online SMH this morning.

    It is believed Mr Turnbull lost crucial votes when former prime minister Malcolm Fraser rang Liberal MPs on his behalf on Wednesday.

    This proves Turnbull would make a very bad leader on two grounds (not including the referendum dummy spit):

    1.  If Malcolm likes him then there must be something wrong with him.
    2.  If he asked Malcolm to ring around then he’s too politically stupid for words.

    Posted by Janice on 2007 11 29 at 07:09 PM • permalink

  169. The Ministry of Social Inclusion

    Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 11 29 at 07:24 PM • permalink

  170. Re Nelson,

    Was told a story about Defence members’ attitudes to their Ministers.  No doubt I’ve got it a bit garbled but, in essence, the background is that Defence people apparently don’t like politicians telling them what to do since they are confident that they already know how to do their own jobs.  So questions from Ministers tend to be met with responses full of statistics and confounding Defence-type acronyms.  The thing about Nelson is that he astonished everyone by remembering it all.  I believe he’s known as The Brain, or something like that.

    Posted by Janice on 2007 11 29 at 07:24 PM • permalink

  171. Backing Kyoto is fair because that’s apparently what the Australian public want.

    Wrong doesn’t become right just because a majority of the public wants it.

    Posted by Milhouse on 2007 11 29 at 08:11 PM • permalink

  172. #170, that is great!  Even the lefties in the office had a laugh about it.

    Posted by craigo on 2007 11 29 at 08:13 PM • permalink

  173. Possibly the worst case I have ever seen of biased “journalism” from the Tele. If they dislike Rudd and Labor so much then why endorse them pre-election?

    Give Rudd a few months to grow into his role as PM. He will improve as he gains experience.

    For those of you nostalgic for the good ol’ days with JWH take a look at this video John Howard - Macho Man

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 29 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  174. #171 - Got the nickname Rainman for his unbelievable recall of statistics. Apparently quite well regarded by the guys and girls busting their arses.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 08:27 PM • permalink

  175. 171 - I find it disturbing that the military don’t like to receive orders and requests from politicians.

    The military’s ultimate boss is the parliament; they are not a law unto themselves.

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 29 at 08:30 PM • permalink

  176. That’s a news flash.

    Agile is disturbed.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  177. #176 - Shouldn’t you be at schoolies or enrolling in summer school?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  178. 177 and 178 - Insults and petty one line are all you have-far be it from me to actually expect you to respond with a serious argument or with reason.

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 29 at 08:36 PM • permalink

  179. #179 - If I want a serious argument I tell my girlfriend her friends are hot. If I want to extract the urine from a low rent dickwad, I reply to your posts.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 08:40 PM • permalink

  180. 179 - People like you are one of the main reason the conservatives are on the nose.

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 29 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  181. #179
    Boo hoo. You say some pretty dopey things here too.

    The military would be understandably jack of being told how to do their jobs by civilians who have no idea about their jobs, or their jobs’ requirements. That’s just a start.

    An example is ordering incorrect/inadequate equipment. Submarines come to mind, and the recent argument regarding replacement of the F111.

    But hey, what would I know, I’ve insulted you. Diddums.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 08:44 PM • permalink

  182. #182-Oh you mean the mistakes by your esteemed Liberal Leader when he was Defense Minister. Yes I agree…he was kinda incompetent in his Defense Minister role.

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 29 at 08:46 PM • permalink

  183. #183
    Beazley. Hawke. Ring any bells with you?

    The ordering of the F111 by Athol Townley in the 60s was considered an error.
    Now, just think about what government was in power then?

    Think Ming.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 09:14 PM • permalink

  184. #184 - I think you will find that it will not be Beazley or Hawke’s Defense tenure that is examined in the coming months. Prepare for some hard analysis of Nelson’s role in the defense bungles recently.

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 29 at 09:18 PM • permalink

  185. #176 The military’s ultimate boss is the parliament; they are not a law unto themselves.

    Agile,
    Janice said people don’t like being told how to do their jobs from people who assume they know how to do the job.  Consequently, a dialogue between Defense Defence and the Minister ensues. No one said the military’s boss was not the civilian government. I think you read too much into #171 and/or didn’t read enough.

    Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 11 29 at 09:21 PM • permalink

  186. #185
    I’m sure Brendan Nelson is shaking in his boots.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 29 at 09:30 PM • permalink

  187. # 175, IT,

    That’s it!  Rainman!  Knew I’d stuffed up somewhere.

    Posted by Janice on 2007 11 29 at 10:24 PM • permalink

  188. #170, sheer genius! My fellow oppressed Ministry workers loved it.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 11 29 at 11:22 PM • permalink

  189. #166 In sooth, such is our tradition, pray dimnish it not…

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2007 11 29 at 11:32 PM • permalink

  190. #166 paco,

    If that’s the case, then this new ruling will not affect you in any way. ;)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 29 at 11:39 PM • permalink

  191. Happy with the choice of Nelson. He makes a more awkward target for the Labor’s press corp aka the Canberra press gallery. Ex-Labor man whose wealth was, I assume, the result of being a doctor. People expect doctors to be wealthy. people also know what doctors do.

    Turnbull’s wealth on the other hand is seen as something evil despite the fact he is probably matched by Mr and Mrs Rudd. Dim-wit Maria Hawthorne from AAP can’t say Turnbull with saying millionaire MP. He is also an ex-merchant banker and no one trusts them becaue no one knows what they do. Remember the reaction to the Macquarie bid for Qantas?

    Julie Bishop? No other choice. Smart lawyer from a serious law firm, very attractive too. Gillard needs two hours in make-up just to look like a female. If Bishop can maintain cool good manners dealing with Gillard, the Labor hag with her grating voice will come across like the wicked witch in Snow White.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 11 30 at 01:31 AM • permalink

  192. 176 - Vagile, when you’ve put on enough dog and pony shows and have been fucked around by politically expedient decisions and copped the thin end of the wedge on contracts given to the cheapest bidder, then you’ll understand why the ADF is effing prickly with Politicians who know sweet FA about the profession of arms.

    The Coalition government has saved the ADF from shrivelling into insignificance in the way the NZDF has.  They weren’t perfect, but they were a shed load better than the bunch of tossers who listened to Dibb on Defending Australia and failed to adequately fund the ADF.  Most of the problems in ADF procurement and budgeting today are a result of the emaciation during the Hawke/Keating debacle.  And if you don’t believe me then you do not understand just how long and how much money it takes to replace major equipments and build capability in terms of equipment, training and corporate knowledge.

    Now eff off back to your sand-pit.

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 30 at 01:44 AM • permalink

  193. I’m trying to think of serious blunders in defence. *waits*

    Any second now.

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 30 at 01:50 AM • permalink

  194. But why maintain the only capable military in the hands of a stable democracy in our immediate region when we could use that money to mask the utter failure of the State governments?

    Those kids who were never taught to read need laptops, do you hear me? LAPTOPS!!!

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 30 at 01:57 AM • permalink

  195. 194 refers 185. 195 refers 193.

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 30 at 01:59 AM • permalink

  196. 194 - Not committing ground troops to the liberation of Kuwait and following through to Baghdad.

    Oh, sorry that was Hawkie - full of piss and wind as usual.

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 30 at 02:00 AM • permalink

  197. #176

    171 - I find it disturbing that the military don’t like to receive orders and requests from politicians.

    The military’s ultimate boss is the parliament; they are not a law unto themselves.

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 29 at 08:30 PM


    Agile, you are profoundly ignorant, and have compounded your ignorance by putting words into Janice’s mouth. What she said was “the background is that Defence people apparently don’t like politicians telling them what to do since they are confident that they already know how to do their own jobs.  So questions from Ministers tend to be met with responses full of statistics and confounding Defence-type acronyms.”
    This is an obvious comment on micromanagement and ‘scathingly brilliant ideas’ by people who do not have a bloody clue. So the responses to their various idiocies have to be exact (because they are not well informed on defence/strategic matters) and full of data (because they are ignorant of the facts).
    The classic case was the purchase of the F-111G models by the previous ALP government in 1995. Hey, it’s an F-111, it’s cheap, so it has to be good, eh? The Minister decided it was a good idea. He bought some and thought the RAAF’d be chuffed.
    Of course, the minister did not know what any randomly selected RAAF F-111 operator or engineer did. The G model was quite different from our RAAF’s C models. Unlike the C it had a contemporary digital computer and dual ASN-41 (Honeywell H523 or Litton LN-39) Ring Laser Gyro Inertial Systems (INS), integrated with new APN-218 Doppler navigation equipment, which replaced the obsolete APN-185: hence different avionics. Oops! They also had different intakes and engines (which were mounted at a different angle). hence different airframes. Oops! So they posed very serious and expensive integration problems for the RAAF, and an new supply chain had to be established. A new training regimen had to be developed for them, as did a new maintenance structure.
    So what happens is that the ALP routinely picks a numpty as Minister of Defence (the most famed being that idiot [a train driver] Gordon Scholes) who then proceeds to make a hash of it. Which the department has to spend time fixing, while wearing the blame for the blunders of the numpty.
    Your second sentence is beneath contempt, and proves both your utter ignorance of the ADF, and your own fabulist viewpoint.

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 11 30 at 02:09 AM • permalink

  198. #194 How about these blunders top start with. The buck stops wit h Nelson:

    - Kovco
    - Responsible for authorising Boeing’s Super Hornet’s (not the most reliable)

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 30 at 02:11 AM • permalink

  199. The purchase of the Hornets I mean

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 30 at 02:12 AM • permalink

  200. 199/200 The Kovco issue was a combination of a media beat-up, adminstrative stuff ups and a grieving family in denial.  While emotionally fraught, it was hardly war-losing stuff, not an indicator of Ministerial incompetnece or error, and should never have been made into such a high profile issue.  Things like almost having a submarine sink, replacing diesel lines with cheaper below spec lines causing loss of life are all significantly more serious issues that you might have raised, but not indicators of Ministerial incompetence.

    The Super Hornet buy is supported by the pilots who are going to fly them.  And the reason we have to buy the Super Hornets, which are the best stop gap measure when the F-111 is decommissioned, is because the ALP Government didn’t start the procurement process when it should have and in oppositon would have refused to support the budget increases that the F-111 replacement program required.

    OK, Smart Arse, what is your solution instead of buying the Super Hornet?

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 30 at 02:44 AM • permalink

  201. #201 - It’s a bit disingenuous that you keep blaming the previous Labor govt which was in 11 years ago.

    You wouldn’t cop that excuse for the State Labor govt so why use it in this example?

    Posted by agile on 2007 11 30 at 03:00 AM • permalink

  202. 202 - it takes longer than 11 years to replace aircraft, numpty.  That’s why the ALP shoulder much of the blame.  And you are spot on for the State ALP Governments - WA ALP came to power promising to fix the health system and it still isn’t fixed.  And now Kev reckons he is going to do it, in about three terms time.  Yeah, right.

    And, I ask again, what is your solution instead of buying the Super Hornet?

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 30 at 03:06 AM • permalink

  203. #202 Congratulations Agile.

    Rarely has a poster missed a point so easily as you missed Razor’s.

    Surely, you’re up for some kind of special “I’m a f***ing moron” award.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 30 at 03:32 AM • permalink

  204. #202 you really have no idea just how long the process of military procurement takes, do you?

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 30 at 04:09 AM • permalink

  205. Thanks Mark L, Razor & Wreckage. You have spread the nitty gritty with a trowel for agile.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 30 at 05:06 AM • permalink

  206. #204 (hi ashy) agile has missed several points. Instead of admitting an error (in particular his gross misunderstanding of #171) or backing up what he said with facts and reason he simply jumps off to a different point.

    agile, I think you have potential. Back up your arguments or back down from them. If you don’t you’ll lose any bit of respect and Infidel Tiger will continue to piss in your skull (he may anyways- IT does as IT wants).

    Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 11 30 at 05:21 AM • permalink

  207. #207
    agile, I think you have potential. Back up your arguments or back down from them. If you don’t you’ll lose any bit of respect and Infidel Tiger will continue to piss in your skull (he may anyways- IT does as IT wants).


    As IT should DAMN well be able to!!!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 30 at 05:42 AM • permalink

  208. paco,

    Please stop waving that Q tip around. I can’t be sure but I suspect that Q tip was sent to you by mistake.  It was probably meant to be mailed to one of your shady yet lucrative lab analysis companies.  Your order for a—

    (wronwright reads paco’s three page order typed single space accompanied by a drawing)

    —combination gold, silver, and platinum staff embedded with rubies and sapphires, none of which is smaller in size than 1 carat, is somewhere in “work in process”.

    (wronwright returns paco’s order to bottom of IN BOX pile of papers)

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 11 30 at 06:30 AM • permalink

  209. #207 G’day Colonel. He’s just a typical troll; wanting so desperately to destroy the right wing that he’s willing to completely ignore all facts and reason, and just go on feelings of truthiness.

    Despite how wrong he is… but hey, easy target practice for us!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 30 at 02:10 PM • permalink

  210. For the benefit of Agile @#176:

    “The military’s ultimate boss is the parliament; they are not a law unto themselves.”

    The Commonwealth of Australia Constitution Act, at Section 68, has a “different interpretation”.

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 11 30 at 03:55 PM • permalink

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