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NEGATIVE ACCENTUATED

We’ve become a nation of jittery warmochondriacs:

Australians are getting so anxious about climate change that they are seeing their doctors for help.

What do they expect doctors to do about it? Prescribe snow?

In a speech tonight to mark World Health Day, Dr Grant Blashki says climate change is already having direct and indirect effects on Australia’s health, and the problems are set to get worse …

He said patients who came to him with depression or anxiety were increasingly citing climate change news as something they were having trouble coping with. “These people tend to have a low threshold to taking on worries. When they pick up the paper and see a small part of Antarctica disintegrating, they take it on board,” he said. “They pick up on the negative things going on in the world.”

It’s even worse than that, doc; they’re picking up on negative things that aren’t going on in the world. Naturally, Dr Warmy is all fired up for Ruddlemania:

Dr Grant Blashki, who has been trained as a climate-change warrior by former United States vice-president Al Gore, has been placed in the population, sustainability, climate change and water-working group.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/07/2008 at 06:05 AM
  1. Dr Grant Blashki, who has been trained as a climate-change warrior by former United States vice-president Al Gore

    Ha! (Tune: war)

    Gore!
    Good Lord,
    What is he good for?
    Absolutely nothing

    Gore!
    What is he good for?
    Absolutely nothing.
    Say it again,
    (repeat as needed)

    Posted by Nic on 2008 04 07 at 06:23 AM • permalink

  2. I’m terrified about the Y3K bug.

    Posted by Penguin on 2008 04 07 at 06:31 AM • permalink

  3. Have these climate-change worriers heard of ‘friendly fire’?

    Posted by egg_ on 2008 04 07 at 06:31 AM • permalink

  4. Sounds like his new job description has somethng to do with cardboard portable toilets for an outdoor rock concert.

    Posted by Pat Patterson on 2008 04 07 at 06:34 AM • permalink

  5. Al Gore is training “enviromental warriors”? The mind boggles what the training involves.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2008 04 07 at 06:37 AM • permalink

  6. So, people who are scared of something that is not real have to have their fear appeased and validated.

    What is to be the prognosis for children afraid of monsters under the bed.

    Posted by Toiling Mass on 2008 04 07 at 06:38 AM • permalink

  7. I’m scared of Al Gore.

    Posted by Retread on 2008 04 07 at 06:42 AM • permalink

  8. I like to think of him as Gor-Al, from the planet Klepton (the Democrat world). He uses his powers to liberate the gullible from their money, while personally sequestering as much carbon as possible within his frame at the rate of a side-of-ox a day.

    Posted by Toiling Mass on 2008 04 07 at 06:45 AM • permalink

  9. Climate change is starting to affect lots of Americans’ health too! Why, all around me there are people who are having respiratory ailments that can undeniably be tied to climate change, the climate change called “Spring.”

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 04 07 at 06:46 AM • permalink

  10. #2

    I’m terrified about the Y3K bug.

    The Y10K bug is the biggie!

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2008 04 07 at 06:46 AM • permalink

  11. I have it from the highest authority and it’s shocking news, folks!

    Frightening and disturbing!

    Apparently we’re all going to die.

    Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2008 04 07 at 07:12 AM • permalink

  12. ALP is getting so anxious about climate change that they are seeing their spin doctors for help.
    Rudd appoints Epstein chief-of-staff…Rudd has already employed the services of Walt Secord, who was former NSW Premier Bob Carr’s spin doctor, and previously an AJN journalist.

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 04 07 at 07:21 AM • permalink

  13. #10
    Much egg-on-face following the y01k fizzer, apparently ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2008 04 07 at 07:22 AM • permalink

  14. #11

    Apparently we’re all going to die.

    you shattered my delusion of immortality, you bastard.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2008 04 07 at 07:31 AM • permalink

  15. So, Al Gore played Obi Wan Kenobi to Dr. Blashki’s Luke Skywalker. Does that mean that Blashki’s father is…Tim Blair?  (Cue the Imperial March)

    Posted by paco on 2008 04 07 at 07:37 AM • permalink

  16. You mean a paper like the Age would carefully select a spokesperson like that, and pass him off as a learned health care guru rather than a fully in-doctor-nated warmenologist? I’m shocked.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2008 04 07 at 07:43 AM • permalink

  17. OT apology, but I was just checking my Yahoo emails and this
    caught my eye.
    Kochie the small business advisor! What next, brain surgery at home?

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 04 07 at 07:44 AM • permalink

  18. #17 Swinish. I think he was a business journo before he became the mindless sensation seeking patriot he is now. He had more cred then.

    Posted by mehaul on 2008 04 07 at 08:05 AM • permalink

  19. Dr Grant Blashki is another of Al Gore’s Climate Acolytes that have been indoctrinated with the ‘climate crisis’ spin. He’s now part of the witless protection program run by the mainstream media to ensure those people never get to hear the truth.

    FWIW - I’ve got a post up showing Big Al’s latest ‘climate crisis’ ads along with an approval worm. It probably confirms the right’s view of the left and the left’s view of the right regarding the threat of global warming.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2008 04 07 at 08:11 AM • permalink

  20. Look at what this anxiety is causing some Australian ‘youths’ to do!

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 04 07 at 08:18 AM • permalink

  21. #20 - I was at work this morning and a colleague got an SMS from his son to say that a gang had come to his school, bashed some people up and that it was ‘scary’. I immediately looked at the news sites - it took about 20 minutes for the story to appear from the time the SMS was received.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2008 04 07 at 08:26 AM • permalink

  22. Joy of joys!

    Watching the news tonight with my son, I made a snide crack directed towards the TV about ‘Global Warming’.

    Son interjects: “Dad, you know that there’s no such thing as global warming.  It’s all fake!”

    I’m so proud of him.  He’s only eight, but understands so much.  I’d buy him a .22 rimfire if I could.

    Thank you Tim, for giving us the Hour of Power and,with it, a chance to talk to our families.

    Posted by Apparatchik on 2008 04 07 at 08:33 AM • permalink

  23. The enormity of the doc’s task.

    Posted by cohenite on 2008 04 07 at 08:35 AM • permalink

  24. Completely O/T, but I’ve just spent the evening drinking beer and heckling spotty communists who think they’re comedians with Mr Bastard, who is facing the OSB bright and early tomorrow, to determine if he’s a suitable chap to be a subaltern.

    A sterling effort (despite light beer) and one I feel worthy of recognition, and good hope he joins we swagger-sticked superior beings, wot?

    Posted by Habib on 2008 04 07 at 08:37 AM • permalink

  25. #17- What possible credibility has a socialist slaphead four-eyed git who managed to wrangle a gig on breakfast television for cretins got to do with small business, except for emptying their tills faster than a motorcycle gang with entreprenurial ambitions?

    Koch has all the real world economic credibility of Michael Milken- he belongs at Ch7, and any retard who listens to him deserves the resulting penury.

    Posted by Habib on 2008 04 07 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  26. #20- You missed the context of this- it was students reacting to the hemogenous anglo-twist of their class- a fine and wonderful reaction to the opression of class, race and sexism inherent in fucking honkies, and we gonna cut them muthafuckas a new ass, fer wot them dun to ur grannies, unless sum mofo got sum dust then we real happy- wot you say, mista bleah? yu got sum dum dust, muthafucka?

    Posted by Habib on 2008 04 07 at 09:24 AM • permalink

  27. #20- Hey Bingley, about time you sorted out your Micks before you stared slagging us off for our idiots. Particularly this recidivist drunk driver and really failed rescue diver.

    Posted by Habib on 2008 04 07 at 09:31 AM • permalink

  28. The KY3 plug is the one to worry about.

    Posted by Hucbald on 2008 04 07 at 09:45 AM • permalink

  29. But nobody likes a bogan.

    Posted by Habib on 2008 04 07 at 09:56 AM • permalink

  30. You’ve got to accentuate the positive,
    Eliminate the negative,
    Latch on to the affirmative, and
    Don’t mess with Mister In-Between…

    Posted by Nicholas on 2008 04 07 at 10:09 AM • permalink

  31. #27 At least our shanty descendants show they’ve learned something in all those computer classes we spend so much money on in schools, habib.

    5 ‘yutes’ attacking the school with clubs and the occasional machete does show some roguish derring-do, I will grant you.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 04 07 at 10:12 AM • permalink

  32. #21 Jack, all kidding aside what a scary SMS to get. Every parent’s nightmare.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 04 07 at 10:29 AM • permalink

  33. Looks like Kevni is a Republican! Who knew?

    Says he doesn’t want a Republic “while Her Majesty is on the throne”, though, so I guess he a waffle-y as usual.

    Wait till she goes to the shower, Kev…

    Posted by mojo on 2008 04 07 at 10:29 AM • permalink

  34. #27

    Gangland intimidation? “Snitch prevention”? That why I would advocate a “shoot on sight” street gang policy. Especially with Mara Salvatrucha.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 04 07 at 10:44 AM • permalink

  35. Ha-ha. I just read a story about the republicanism but from the Age, mojo, that describes KRudd as a “workaholic”.

    But onto topic: There’s an easy solution to this Aussie problem of global warming fear terror.

    We’ll pair every Aussie with every (ostensibly) English-speaking Hoser. And in our Northern winter, the entire population of Oz will move to Taxland for six months; and all of Canada’s anglo Hosers will go to Australia. They’ll substitue for similar jobs or being bludgers [sp?] on the dole and our Native populations can substitute for each other, Greeks in Toronto for those in Melbourne etc. Then switch it around after the six months so Aussies will return home in time for Aussie winter when it will be a more moderate temperature after being in Taxland for our rapidly-warming [/sarc] winter.

    The only exception would be for both countries’ bush fire fighters, who would stay in the “summer” country full-time.

    How about it?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2008 04 07 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  36. Don Surber answers all!:

    Question: Is global cooling, er, global warming, er, climate change harming the koalas?

    Answer: Yea, well, climates change. Adapt or die. It’s called Darwinism. Koalas need to eat something besides eucalyptus leaves. Omnivores survive.

    Question: How can you be so cruel?

    Answer: Practice.

    Posted by mojo on 2008 04 07 at 10:54 AM • permalink

  37. Didn’t Ayn Rand write a book about Australia? She should have. I for one welcome our new climate saving, carbon indulging overlords, welcome them to Oz that is. They can stay away from here.

    Posted by moptop on 2008 04 07 at 11:39 AM • permalink

  38. #20
      Ahhh, the fruits of “justified anger in the community” lectures by the idiots in charge.  Teenagers, not known on the whole for their deductive reasoning and logical thinking, hear about the “understandable anger” and the “justified violence” and think, “Hey, I’m angry so I’m justified in hitting people with baseball bats!”

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 04 07 at 12:28 PM • permalink

  39. Climate-change warrior…
    Shouldn’t that be Climate-change priest, or guru, or imam, or prophet?
    And Dr. Blashki isn’t very precise, for a Doctor. It isn’t climate change that is affecting anyone’s health, it is the fear of climate change that is affecting the weak-minded and gullible elements of the populace.

    Posted by Latino on 2008 04 07 at 12:54 PM • permalink

  40. Mohammed H!  You’d think these people would save their energy for worrying about the real monsters under the bed!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 04 07 at 02:54 PM • permalink

  41. # Daddy Dave: Al Gore is training “enviromental warriors”? The mind boggles what the training involves.

    In addition to “evironmental warriors”, there are “Eco Therapists”. Some of the therapies for the eviro worries is to carry bark, stones, etc. around with them. The warriors learn rappeling in order to hang banners off of hugh golden bridges. Oops, I forgot that is is the “save Tibet” folks this week.

    Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 04 07 at 04:13 PM • permalink

  42. I hear all the “Eco Warriors” get cool new names, too. Al the Unelectable, Blashki the Gonadless, Suzuki Night Bringer, Flannery of the Parched Sands. They have reunions, too, where they get together to publicly congratulate themselves for being the chosen ones. But at their conventions, it’s not just a lot of hard work bearing the responsibility for the fate of mankind on their shoulders while trying to look humble; they also have fun. One of their favorite games is to try to identify each other in the dark (“Feels like…hmm…a bean bag couch. Hey, everybody! I found Al Gore!”)

    Posted by paco on 2008 04 07 at 04:47 PM • permalink

  43. #20 - I’m taking a wild and prejudiced guess here, that these are youths of no appearance?

    Posted by blogstrop on 2008 04 07 at 06:49 PM • permalink

  44. #20 Merrylands school machete attack.

    Posted by kae on 2008 04 07 at 07:19 PM • permalink

  45. #43
    Someone I know said there seemed to be no description of any “ethnicity” of the youths.

    Posted by kae on 2008 04 07 at 07:20 PM • permalink

  46. The medical problems Blashki talks about have nought to do with global warming. They are caused by a fear of global warming.

    It is like the difference between spider bite and arachnaphobia.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 04 07 at 07:28 PM • permalink

  47. #45 Pacific islander.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 04 07 at 07:29 PM • permalink

  48. Not only is temperature dropping, so is CO2

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 04 07 at 07:52 PM • permalink

  49. You’re all missing the obvious here.

    The fanatic Al Gore is training an army of 10,000,000. Expect explosive developments.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 04 07 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  50. #27 I actually gave some credence to the Senator’s story for not diving back in as he swore that he saw Queequeg standing by the water.

    Posted by Pat Patterson on 2008 04 07 at 08:56 PM • permalink

  51. I’m terrified that we’re not being told the truth about Planet X

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 04 07 at 09:07 PM • permalink

  52. “Is this Nemesis, come to punch my ticket?...”

    Nah.

    Posted by mojo on 2008 04 07 at 11:07 PM • permalink

  53. “Dr Grant Blashki, who has been trained as a climate-change warrior by former United States vice-president Al Gore,” first gives his patients the shits until he scares them utterly shitless and then proclaims that his patients are getting diarrhea and almost dying of dehydration , and “are getting so anxious about climate change that they are seeing their doctors for help.”

    Must be very good for business. Bring on the warmening.

    Posted by LaVallette on 2008 04 08 at 03:41 AM • permalink

  54. “These people tend to have a low threshold to taking on worries.”

    That has to be the kindest way of saying “they’re a bunch of sorry-ass nervous nellies” that I’ve ever seen.

    Posted by Achillea on 2008 04 08 at 02:49 PM • permalink

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