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NEEDS MET
Kevin Rudd, plastic turkeys, and Chris Sheil - all in the one handy column! What more could any human being possibly want?
They’re still missing one stooge. They’re short a Curly.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 03 16 at 03:07 PM • permalinkLove the plastic turkey hall of fame!
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 03 16 at 03:16 PM • permalinkSaddam not only had the capacity and willingness to compile and use WMD, he also had form; those Kurds, after all, weren’t killed by global warming.
Stop. Wait. Whoa-back.
Kurds weren’t killed by Global Warming… how sure are you that Saddam didn’t control Global Warming? You’ve made the connection… truth is stranger than fiction…
What more could any human being possibly want?
Hm, that’s a toughie. World peace. Enough money to go someplace warm where I can ogle the boys while Mr. H naps. All totalitarian-supporting lefties and Islamic fascists to develop global aphasia immediately. A really good non-celluloid turkey sandwich.
#6 Blue Hen:
"How about the Aussie chick from the tourism commercials? I doubt that she’s plastic!”
Oh, you mean Lara Bingle.
#1
If Morris Iemma wins next week’s NSW state election, which is more than likely Rudd will win too. It will be the final success of an education system designed to produce millions of airheads. It is an education system that has in 40 years, on the promise of higher aspirations, taken away the dream of girls to be air hostesses and nurses and made them want to be just like Paris Hilton. For boys, it has taken away all ambition, convincing them that the most any lad should wish for is a tattoo and a criminal record.While the debate over evolution or creationism was being argued, the educators have gave us de-evolution. The intelligent are breeding at a quarter the rate of the cretinous, aided and abetted by educators telling the most hopeless of our citizens that having babies is the great way to make money. And this cycle of selective breeding has spawned a generation of unemployable kids who explode in violence at the most minor real or imagined provocation.
It will wipe us out long before global warming.
#16 Contrail
While the debate over evolution or creationism was being argued, the educators have gave us de-evolution. The intelligent are breeding at a quarter the rate of the cretinous, aided and abetted by educators telling the most hopeless of our citizens that having babies is the great way to make money. And this cycle of selective breeding has spawned a generation of unemployable kids who explode in violence at the most minor real or imagined provocation.
Standing ovation for that. It’s frighteningly true.
#1 as a liberal, i am worried labor will win. a 5th term has only happened once before. it’s a very big ask. despite the economy going fine, unemployment down to a level unimaginable 2 decades ago, & tax cuts, there is a huge “we’re over john howard” factor among swinging voters. the people i watch for signs of a swing are expressing their wish for a change for change’s sake. the man himself is looking tired & frayed & a tad tetchy on tv. the state based campaigning organisations of the liberal party are shambolic, except in victoria which was renovated before the 2004 election & runs a good campaign. the only real hope at this stage is australians’ reluctance to have one party in power at both state & federal level. in victoria again, there are some very scary memories of what happened to the economy when labor was in power in both canberra & melbourne. but contrail is right - we have a whole generation of voters who are socially irresponsible, politically unaware & state dependent, created by an education system that is the result of labor & union policy. any proposal by howard to purge the education system of dumb ideas like “equality of outcome” regardless of talent & merit has been raucously & successfully combatted by states. so i’m depressed, just hoping for rudd to be revealed for what he is, a trimmer who stands for nothing
You use the term “Ruddle standards” in your article.
I haven’t heard someone mention ruddle since I was a kid growing up on a sheep farm, and I had to check online to see whether I’d remembered correctly. Turns out I’m right, but I’m left wondering what this means for our boy Kevi. More here if you’re still in the dark.
Beer.
I’m surprised an Aussie would have to ask.
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 03 16 at 09:47 PM • permalinkOverheard at the DNC:
Lefist 1: “I mean, think about it: we all know Saddam had no WMD. What else could have killed all those Kurds? That’s why we had to invade, so Halliburton could cover up the effects of global warming for Bush and his oil cronies!”
Leftist 2: “Oooh, that’s good, in fact I feel a chill running down my spine.
#16 Contrail.
Beautifully and accurately put.
I recall after one of Howard’s re-elections, a strident Teachers’ Union leader publicly berated her union members for failing to teach the kids properly.
According to her, if the teachers had been doing their jobs, the kids would be going home and convincing their parents to vote Labor. The fact that Howard had been re-elected was proof that the teachers had failed in their duty.What more could any human being possibly want?
A weekend away with Scarlett Johanssen. Since you’re asking.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 03 17 at 02:16 AM • permalink"Leftist 2: “Oooh, that’s good, in fact I feel a chill running down my spine.”
Leftists have spines?
Since when?
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 03 17 at 03:25 AM • permalinkThe downward slide? I don’t dwell on it.
Quite the opposite, in fact.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 03 17 at 06:25 AM • permalinkJust listened to Barry Jones 2007 Manning Clark rant and when it comes giving the punters everything they could dream of you just don’t come close. he missed the plastic turkey but he did find time for:
David Hicks, Guantanamo, Abu Graib,the incontestability of global warming,Bush the dumb,WMD,broccoli as Iraqs main export, the evils of the Howard government, Bush and Osama the equal fundamentalists, creationism at the Grand Canyon, the greatness of Manning Clark, the evil of Margaret Thatcher,nasty capitalism and much, much more
Primacy of Reason in an Age of Fundamentalism
excellent column BTW
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 03 17 at 07:19 AM • permalink
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What do you in Oz think? DO you really think Rudd could beat Howard? May it never be!
And here we are in the US praying for Fred Thompson to get in the race so that we might have a chance to avoid a Hillary/Obama/Edwards presidency.
Where is our generation’s WInston Churchill?!!!!