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NAME SHAMED

Don’t talk to reader Crossie about so-called stolen generations:

I’ll tell you what a stolen generation is. We named our first daughter Monica in the 70s and just before she becomes an adult some bastard American president makes her name a swear word. Where is his apology? Where is the compensation for the damage to her reputation? For a number of years there everyone snickered when they heard her name, including her parents-in-law.

I named my daughter the prettiest name I could find and then someone ruins it. My only compensation is that I am also Sylvia’s mother. OK, Dr Hook, cough up. She was born before your song.

As the son of Ken and Barbie, I empathise with Crossie’s name-rage.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/28/2007 at 10:11 AM
  1. “As the son of Ken and Barbie…”

    Wow, Ken was more than I gave him credit for!

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 11 28 at 10:15 AM • permalink

  2. You won’t get much sympathy from anybody over 80 years old, named Adolph.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 11 28 at 10:16 AM • permalink

  3. I knew Tim was some sort of Antipodean genetic experiment.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 11 28 at 10:17 AM • permalink

  4. When I was in the Army, I met a Captain Benito M. Whateverucci. Nobody asked him what the M stood for.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 11 28 at 10:21 AM • permalink

  5. That’s some Cross to bear ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 28 at 10:35 AM • permalink

  6. When my father (born 1919) was in school he had a classmate named George P. Hough.  The P stood for Pershing, but apparently it was worth your life to call his attention to that fact.

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2007 11 28 at 10:35 AM • permalink

  7. My grandmother objected strenuously to my mother naming me Rebecca, because they had a milk cow named Becky.

    But now I know why you hate the plastic turkey story so much, Tim.  You’re a… a… plastic blogger!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 11 28 at 10:39 AM • permalink

  8. My own parents used to joke that I was named after the Andrea Doria. And then I found out that in Italy “Andrea” is a man’s name. Also, my initials, plus that of my middle name, spell out “AAH.” I spent my entire childhood wanting to change my name.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 11 28 at 10:48 AM • permalink

  9. I went to school with a Donald and Daisy Duck (twins). Their parents were hippies - both changed their names by Deed Poll at 18 and one is a QLD SERT-police officer (similar to SWAT in the USA) and the other is an army LTCOL in the ADF. At the high school reunion it was interesting to see the tranformation from disheveled, unwashed, semi-feral, bullied wierdos to clean cut, steely eyed, security force personnel. Many of the old school ‘clique’ were to scared to go near them for fear of car park retribution at the end of the evening. As you could imagine, the current relationship with their parents is somewhat strained.

    Posted by CanberraNeoCon on 2007 11 28 at 10:50 AM • permalink

  10. #8 Andrea, it also perplexes me that new age dipsticks here in Australia name their daughters Nikita and Akira - both are boy’s names from russia and japan respectively.

    Posted by CanberraNeoCon on 2007 11 28 at 10:53 AM • permalink

  11. I was born in December 1959, and my parents claim that they considered naming me Elvis Eisenhower. I am eternally grateful that they decided not to do so.

    Posted by sundog on 2007 11 28 at 11:04 AM • permalink

  12. #9 CanberraNeoCon

    That story reminded me of Johnny Cash’s song about a boy named Sue.

    And he said: “Son, this world is rough
    And if a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough
    And I knew I wouldn’t be there to help ya along.
    So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
    I knew you’d have to get tough or die
    And it’s the name that helped to make you strong.”

    He said: “Now you just fought one hell of a fight
    And I know you hate me, and you got the right
    To kill me now, and I wouldn’t blame you if you do.
    But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
    For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
    Cause I’m the son-of-a-bitch that named you “Sue.’”

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 11 28 at 11:06 AM • permalink

  13. “Boy Named Sue” on steroids.

    One of my 11th grade teachers,

    Last name:  Dick
    First name: Harry

    No lie.

    Top that.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 28 at 11:17 AM • permalink

  14. There should be no shame associated with the name Monica.

    It’s a name that completely discredited an entire leftist movement (feminism) by just a few trips to the carpet.

    That’s accomplishing something.

    Posted by Thomas on 2007 11 28 at 11:22 AM • permalink

  15. #14

    Not to mention giving new meaning to “Having a Robusto.”

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 28 at 11:29 AM • permalink

  16. ``At the high school reunion it was interesting to see the tranformation from disheveled, unwashed, semi-feral, bullied wierdos to clean cut, steely eyed, security force personnel.’‘

    God, I would have loved to have seen that :)

    That Nikita/Akira business: perhaps there are a lot of fans of the movie ``La Femme Nikita’’ out there.  Or perhaps it’s plain old, ``Well, it ends in an A, so it must be a girl’s name, right?’’  A high school classmate of mine (a recent arrival from Cuba) was regularly driven crazy by teachers and admin types who couldn’t get it through their heads that her name was Consuelo, and would insist on changing the final O to an A. 
    She finally started calling herself Connie; I wonder if she still does.

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2007 11 28 at 11:35 AM • permalink

  17. Mine is a somewhat strange and relatively rare name popular in my family…altho neither I nor my brother used it for our boys.

    Unfortunately, as a diminutive, it was also the name of a popular baboon cartoon character when I was young.  One of my wife’s friends insisted on calling me that name all of her life.

    My name for her was ‘bitter divorced alcoholic bitch’.

    Posted by trainer on 2007 11 28 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  18. Actually, Crossie should be pissed at Shel Silverstein, not Dr. Hook—Shel wrote the song, Dr. Hook sang it.

    (Interestingly, Shel Silverstein also wrote “A Boy Named Sue,” see Ernie G’s comment above.)

    Now back to the slab.

    Posted by Bill Spencer on 2007 11 28 at 11:46 AM • permalink

  19. Years ago, I stopped using my real name, Biggis Dickus.  Maybe it’s time to go back to it.

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 11 28 at 11:47 AM • permalink

  20. #13 yojimbo,

    I knew a Richard Small…...and yes, everybody called him Dick.

    Anybody here know Amanda Hugenkiss???

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 11 28 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  21. #19

    Biggus Dickus, so nice to see you!!

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 11 28 at 11:51 AM • permalink

  22. I’ll tell you what a stolen generation is.

    It’s a bit much for Crossie to compare her suffering to that of people whose children were taken away because of the colour of their skin. Not to belittle those few years of snickering, of course.

    Posted by Jefferson Skates on 2007 11 28 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  23. I wanted to name my son “Watermelon”, but the wife wouldn’t have it.

    What can I say, I’m not cruel, I’m just a cruller.

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 11 28 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  24. I doubt very much that she was.

    Try to develop some perspctive of your own.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 28 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  25. Or even “perspective”.  Tears of regret abound.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 28 at 12:42 PM • permalink

  26. My husband, a basketball fanatic, wanted to name our son Voit Spaulding.  We are divorced now.

    Posted by ruskinrip on 2007 11 28 at 12:54 PM • permalink

  27. AHH

    nothing really to type, except…:)

    AHH

    ruskinrip

    Don’t blame you. Me, I would have picked something much easy on the tongue, like Nike 6 Iron. See how much better that flows…LOL.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 28 at 01:08 PM • permalink

  28. jesus..h. e-a-s-i-e-r

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 28 at 01:09 PM • permalink

  29. On the other side of the fence . . .

    Gustave married Gertrude who begat Sue who married Jim.

    So un-left and non-PC it hurts.

    Posted by gajim on 2007 11 28 at 01:32 PM • permalink

  30. A Greek family named Pappas in Florida (owned a restaurant excellent, at the time) anyway, the mans first name was Peter….and in the phone directory of course, it is reverse listed.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 28 at 01:41 PM • permalink

  31. #27

    Much better.  Had he thought of that we might still be married.

    Posted by ruskinrip on 2007 11 28 at 01:43 PM • permalink

  32. And, an old joke about a guy with the name of Joe Shit. Had his name changed to Al.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 28 at 01:43 PM • permalink

  33. 31 rr

    LOL.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 28 at 01:44 PM • permalink

  34. I was born in 1974.  ‘The Omen’ came out in 1976.

    Posted by Damian P. on 2007 11 28 at 02:39 PM • permalink

  35. Went to school with a kid named Gregory Gregory Gregory.  We called him GG.

    Worked in Munich with an Englishwoman named Randi Nickers.  Parents should have been shot.

    Posted by SSG Pooh on 2007 11 28 at 03:03 PM • permalink

  36. #22
    Too bad about the white kids taken into care.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 28 at 03:21 PM • permalink

  37. When our daughter was born, we had to reckon with the name of our choice matching that of a headline-making monster.

    I suggested we go ahead, following the car-racing admonition to drive straight at a wreck happening in front of you.  Odds are, it’ll be somewhere else when you reach that spot.

    By the time my daughter’s an adult, I reasoned, the monster will be forgotten.

    As it happened, the monster died two years later, and my daughter remains poetically named after her grandmother.

    Posted by Rittenhouse on 2007 11 28 at 03:37 PM • permalink

  38. #22 get over yourself Jefferson Starship.

    In a few years we’ll be expected to say sorry to the “un-stolen” generation.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 28 at 04:03 PM • permalink

  39. I know a woman named Bari Fylling. Surprisingly, she is not a baker.

    Here’s a site with more really good (or really bad) names. My personal favorites from this page:

    Mercedes Binn
    Ivan Odor

    Posted by Neeniebug on 2007 11 28 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  40. #22

    WTF? WTH? HUH?

    Posted by ruskinrip on 2007 11 28 at 04:31 PM • permalink

  41. I kid you not, I worked with a bloke named Phil Enis.

    P. Enis.

    He was the only person in the company who had a logon to the company network that did not consist of his first initial and surname.  It was adjusted to ‘phil.enis’.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 28 at 04:47 PM • permalink

  42. #40 ruskinrip,

    jeffie at #22 is a newbie who joined on election day along with all the other smartarses. Watch his space.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 28 at 04:51 PM • permalink

  43. #22 Jefferson, take it for the joke it’s supposed to be. It’s not a slight against children, both white and Aboriginal, who were taken into care.

    Lighten up, pull up a chair, and relax.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 28 at 04:53 PM • permalink

  44. At my high school the second son of the Kerr family was saddled with the first name of Wayne. 

    Now there are a couple of parents that should have been shot. Strangely enough, I recollect no instance where the poor bugger was teased about his name.

    Posted by entropy on 2007 11 28 at 04:54 PM • permalink

  45. My ex and her brother were not blessed with bad names so much as bad initials.  Her initials were JAG and his were LEG Jr.  Mine is DDT.

    Posted by dick on 2007 11 28 at 05:06 PM • permalink

  46. #2, they don’t have to be 80, Dan.  My aunt and uncle have a friend in Hamburg named Adolf, who was born in 1941.  Adolf and his wife came to Australia a few years ago and my aunt and uncle brought them down to Canberra for a few days.  I took them sightseeing to all the major attractions and, when we were in the War Memorial, Adolf became engrossed in the Vietnam exhibits and we lost him.  You can imagine how difficult it is trying to go around the War Memorial calling out “Adolf? Adolf?”.

    Posted by craigo on 2007 11 28 at 05:16 PM • permalink

  47. #42

    Thank you Pogria.  Being confused while still on the job (and hard at work I might add) prevents me from drinking myself to clarity.  Were I at home I would have downed a few and eventually said, “oh, I get it. He’s an ass!”

    Posted by ruskinrip on 2007 11 28 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  48. Used to work with Olaf de Ruyter…

    Posted by arbee on 2007 11 28 at 05:57 PM • permalink

  49. #47
    You are most welcome ruskinrip!

    I understand completely the “drinking yourself to clarity”. ;)

    Were it not for the two great deities Red Wine and his handmaiden Bourbon, I would in all probability have become a leftard.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 28 at 06:02 PM • permalink

  50. #41

    The penis mightier than the sword

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 11 28 at 06:06 PM • permalink

  51. When I was young, Midshipmen were saddled with the title Mister.  Because it was a trade where it was not unknown for siblings to follow in their elders footsteps, the junior family member was known as Master.
    I think you can see where this is heading.
    (You’ve never seen someone so relieved when his brother “got his hook” thus making that i available.)

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 28 at 06:06 PM • permalink

  52. I once worked with a retired Navy Master Chief Petty Officer who told the story of a colleague of his, Chief Bates, who was promoted to Master Chief. Hilarity ensued.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 11 28 at 06:21 PM • permalink

  53. Pogria, re: starship…

    Hmm, didn’t check the join date. Usually doesn’t take long for them to flap their bat-wings.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 28 at 06:23 PM • permalink

  54. Moon-bat-wings

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 28 at 06:24 PM • permalink

  55. This is an almost deceased thread, I’m moving up!!

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 28 at 06:24 PM • permalink

  56. I know someone living in Cungena Ave in Adelaide - named after Cungena, a settlement situated in South Australia. Cungena is 1355 km from the Australian capital Canberra.

    And I have just moved to ‘HighwRay Drive’ 

    Trouble is, you can’t change these.

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 11 28 at 06:31 PM • permalink

  57. #46 ‘Adolf, who was born in 1941’
    More interesting than you made it.  What caused both his parents AFTER the war, or himself later, to keep this horrible name, unless it is a quite sinister sort of German stubbornness?

    [By the way, am I the only one for whom the highlights don’t work?]

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 11 28 at 07:14 PM • permalink

  58. Many years ago a boyfriend’s cousin’s husband (gasp), was named Tony Anthony German-name. I asked why he was called Anthony Anthony. He said that one of his names was Adolf and he hated it.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 28 at 07:25 PM • permalink

  59. Who can forget Cherry Ripe? That is, Miss Cherry Ripe.

    She of the hippie-dippie parents, no doubt.

    Tasting Australia

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 11 28 at 07:49 PM • permalink

  60. #57, He said he didn’t like his name because of its association, but it was the one he had been given so he was stuck with it.  Knowing a few Germans it doesn’t surprise me that he or his parents never considered changing it.  I think it is a cultural thing about Germans, they are very rigid and ordered.

    Posted by craigo on 2007 11 28 at 08:32 PM • permalink

  61. Years ago, my younger brother worked with the WA public service.  As part of his job in liaising with the FEDS in Canberra, he had regular contact with a woman in Canberra who rejoiced in the name ‘Gay Boys’.

    I mean, really!

    Posted by Olrence on 2007 11 28 at 08:52 PM • permalink

  62. I don’t think that I would like to be saddled with the moniker;“Jane, you ignorant slut!”

    Heh!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 28 at 11:58 PM • permalink

  63. In March 2003 we named our first born, Barnaby.
    18 months later…
    I dread to think the damage done to his impressionable young mind when he heard Albanese or Swan on the radio talking about “stupid Barnaby”

    Posted by Ben Haslem on 2007 11 29 at 12:20 AM • permalink

  64. Who named a cuddly Teddy Bear Mohammed,now that was insensitive to all poor Teddy Bears the world over.

    Posted by Howzat on 2007 11 29 at 01:48 AM • permalink

  65. That will teach me to spout off.

    Posted by Crossie on 2007 11 29 at 07:27 AM • permalink

  66. I met a Japanese woman named Miho Usuki. Now, if you know how to pronounce romanji there nothing wrong with that, however….

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 11 29 at 09:37 AM • permalink

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