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NAKED PEACENIKS ON BIKES
If you live in Sydney, remain indoors:
Strip down and ride on for the environment this March.
No.
The next World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR) in Australia will commence at high noon at the Archibald Fountain in Sydney’s Hyde Park on Saturday the 8th of March 2008 ...
The WNBR is an annual clothing-optional protest ride for naturism, environmentalism, peace and the rights of cyclists to use the road safely.
It’s safe to ride a bike naked? I bet none of these rebels declines to wear a helmet.
The ride is not a race and goes at an easy recreational pace. The only competition is how creatively bizarre participants can get with decorating their bodies using paint, slogans and bits of costume.
Competition is a right-wing construct. Fascists.
Though the dress code for the ride is “Go as bare as you dare!”, nudity is not compulsory. It is not a ride promoting overtly sexual behaviour in public.
The “Ride Promoting Overtly Sexual Behaviour in Public” will be held next weekend.
Violence stemming from wars fought over oil and road rage ...
Few people are aware of this, but Vietnam was fought over road rage.
“We face automobile traffic with our naked bodies as the best way of defending our dignity ... ”, reads the WNBR mission statement.
In their case, that may be true.
For more information, Website: http://australia.worldnakedbikeride.org/.
Do hit that link. It’s like The Worst Site of 1997 has risen from the dead.
(Via frollicking mole)
UPDATE. On a cyclist theme, here’s James Lileks:
Sign of the times: you hear about a bombing of a Times Square recruitment office, and you assume it’s nutjob antiwar folks, not Al Qaeda.
Actually, Vietnam was about road rage: an awful lot of people objected to taking the express lane on the road to serfdom.
I hereby propose a counter-demonstration: the “Full Evening Dress SUV Convoy”, which will track the route and pace of the bicyclists. White tie, tails, top hats and spats for the gentlemen; high-fashion evening gowns for the ladies. Don’t forget to bring your pea shooters and sling shots!
#3 Especially as they’re competing for the most bizarre appearance.
What silly, silly people.
That website looks like it was designed by a five-year-old. A stupid five-year-old.
Posted by Mambo Bananapatch on 2008 03 07 at 01:52 PM • permalinkWhoever put that site together had fun. The design still sucks, but at least the designer had fun. :)
I get the feeling the people behind this nude bike ride stuff do it because they want to twit the world, and most of the folks participating have no idea they’re being trolled.
Posted by mythusmage on 2008 03 07 at 02:11 PM • permalinkLet’s hope that it’s not rained out or that the turnout isn’t diminished by the coldest Aussie summer since 1956. Oh, and that they don’t hand out any hand mirrors.
Posted by andycanuck on 2008 03 07 at 02:27 PM • permalink“The tits on the bike go up and down,
up and down,
up and down”“The tits on the bike go up and down,
all through the town”Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2008 03 07 at 02:35 PM • permalinkThe “Ride Promoting Overtly Sexual Behaviour in Public”...
It’s too late to have that ride next week…Someone else got there first.
That ride—and walk, and strut—is held every year at the Gay Pride parade in New York City.
Posted by miriams ideas on 2008 03 07 at 02:36 PM • permalinkFurther proof that lefties have no balls. I cannot IMAGINE being male and riding a bike without some kind of heavy padding between me and it.
#2: Count me in. Don’t forget the martinis and fashionable long cigarette holders.
Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2008 03 07 at 02:44 PM • permalinkDo hit that link. It’s like The Worst Site of 1997 has risen from the dead.
Oh, my Lord, you’re not kidding. “Headache-inducing” is a nice way to describe it. My aunt sends me emails that look like that.
Yes, she’s an AOL user, why do you ask?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 03 07 at 03:14 PM • permalinkZombie’s World Naked Bike Ride in SF (warning: may cause blindness).
Posted by rightwingprof on 2008 03 07 at 03:19 PM • permalinkYo, Aussies! What if Bryla decides to participate? Are you prepared for the mass blindness that will result?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 07 at 03:41 PM • permalinkIf “nudity is not compulsory” then it’s like every other bike that’s ever been rided, yeah? Clothing is always “optional”, and is in fact a particularly popular “option” because people almost always choose it. They haven’t really gone for market differentiation have they.
Now if it was “thousands forced to ride nekkid” then that would be news.
I don’t know, you got this, you got idiots like Martin Flanagan..except for his medical problems I think Tim’s got it too easy.Posted by ooh honey honey on 2008 03 07 at 03:41 PM • permalinkI’m sorry, I opened the link and I just have to say, how fucking lame to go on a naked bike ride and wear something. I mean really. Is that the extent of their commitment? Naked is naked. This takes the words “loser”, “piker”, “half-arsed” to new uncharted heights.
Posted by ooh honey honey on 2008 03 07 at 03:46 PM • permalink#18 Sort of like a Hollywood hunger strike, where everybody stops eating for four hours.
Posted by Mambo Bananapatch on 2008 03 07 at 03:50 PM • permalinkSounds like a good weekend to change the oil on your car… and a small accident with the pan…
...in the middle of the intersection…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 03 07 at 04:29 PM • permalinkAnd what if Catherine Deveny goes along? She might have to be taken to the Emergency Room to have the bicycle extracted.
VERSE 1
(See #8)
VERSE 2“The twits on the bike go up and down,
up and down,
up and down”“The twits on the bike go up and down,
all through the town”VERSE 3
“The twats on the bike go up and down,
up and down,
up and down”“The twats on the bike go up and down,
all through the town”VERSE 4
“The dorks on the bike go up and down,
up and down,
up and down”“The dorks on the bike go up and down,
all through the town”By the hairy eyebrows of Zues….. if you saw me on my bike in lycra, you’d quickly determine that you would never want to see me on it naked.
Once every few months, my commute home is enlivened by me closely trailing a very pert, extremely shapely lycra clad female bottom - which is especially wonderful when the rider stands up out of the saddle to pump up a hill. But that happens once in a blue moon.
The chances of seeing that at the naked bike ride are…. just impossible to calculate. I get the feeling that the only people participating will be those that have a rusting bike with flat tyres in the back shed which gets used once or twice a year for a bike related protest, but never for day to day shopping or commuting.
Poseurs of the worst kind.
I do feel like attending, but my nakedness would be limited to standing on the side of the road as they go by and flashing a very hairy brown eye.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 03 07 at 05:46 PM • permalinkI propose that we hold the First Annual Projectile-Vomitathon For War to coincide with this loathsome event. Any takers?
Posted by Jeffersonian on 2008 03 07 at 05:48 PM • permalinkIt speaks volumes about the intellectual status of these people that the only argument they can give is to ride naked on a bicycle—and that they expect this “argument” to be persuasive. That primitive body-painting is an option just adds to the low-brow nature of this particular sophistry.
#2, Paco: I’m with you friend Paco. I could use a nice, dressy night out.
#23 Ernie G. Paco is surely scribbling away madly to his designers and other ideas people.
The nude bike ride is an enormous opportunity for Paco Enterprises and the new ‘Devenney seat’ It’s a bike seat that incorporates a one size see all mirror with a moisture proof glaze.
His new ‘Cod Oddity’ seat for men absorbs shock, and secretes an anti inflam cream in direct proportion to the pressure of the rider’s action. All that’s required at the end of the ride is to remove the ‘Cod Oddity’ and have a light wash down.
The new ‘Cod Oddity Wash Down Towel’ is designed to do this with a minimum of fuss.
Endorsed by both Greenpeace and Bob Brown (I’ll ride till my arse is red raw Bob Brown), it helps reduces unwanted swelling while maintaining a mean temperature of 15 degrees celcius.
Paco, I’m happy to fly over to discuss any of these ideas
Since that earthworm thing fell through, I’ve been looking around for other environmental consulting opportunities. For example, the migratory habits of the mosquito are not well understood. Perhaps, with the aid of a suitable grant, ten million test mosquitoes could be released for study. An excellent time and place for the release might be at high noon at the Archibald Fountain in Sydney’s Hyde Park on Saturday the 8th of March 2008.
I hope it snows on Saturday (in Sydney I mean). It’s snowing here of course; will do for another 24 hours.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 03 07 at 07:40 PM • permalink#9
Sydney last Saturday too.
Also musical Hair.Groucho Marx put the question of theatrical nudity in relaxed perspective as well as offering a succinct critique. Asked if he intended to attend Hair, he replied: “I just took off my clothes, looked at the mirror and saved $11.”
Or use Google images to locate good looking models <insert name of man/woman> and save the trip into Sydney’s Hyde Park.
Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 03 07 at 07:52 PM • permalinkThe sport of cycling has long had to deal with accusations that it is full of hopped up loons, doped to the eyeballs. This won’t help.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 03 07 at 09:21 PM • permalink49 - No WNBR here in Perth. I don’t think the weather’s an issue, so I put it down to self-preservation.
It’s bad enough getting stuck behind the pedal-powered on the way home from work. Suffering the same on the weekend, with no clothes besides, could well push some stressed motorist over the edge…Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 03 07 at 11:16 PM • permalinkThe site says that bikes will defend against the following “negatives”:
oil, cars, war, consumerism and non-renewable energy
They don’t list “air pollution,” but I guess, being an actual negative of motor transport, it would have been the odd one out.Posted by daddy dave on 2008 03 08 at 12:05 AM • permalink#50 Okay, they’re skipping Perth… that I can understand. But I wonder what happened in Tweed Heads?
Tweed Heads participated in the 12th of June 2004 World Naked Bike Ride.
There are no photos and no future ride is planned for Tweed Heads.
Mysterious.
Posted by spot_the_dog on 2008 03 08 at 01:05 AM • permalinkWhen Catherine Deveny talked about squatting over a mirror I never imagine it was a wing mirror.
#2 Great idea Paco!
Actually recently I saw a couple of ladies riding in the city of Melbourne. One was in conventional bike gear, very nice and efficient. Her pal was fully-made up, in a sophisticated summer dress and court shoes , her designer evening bag stylishly tucked into her bike rack on the back of the wheel. She looked awesome!
The Sartorialist blogspot once featured a beautifully dressed man - suit, scarf, gloves, briefcase - wending his way through a park on his bike. He looked terrific.
The Evening Dress Bike Parade would probably be a winner, and a terrific spectacle.
And probably a lot safer than the Stiletto Run.
Posted by carpefraise on 2008 03 08 at 04:08 AM • permalink#2 Paco
Don’t forget to bring your pea shooters and sling shots!
If Goreball Warmening continues its relentless trend I think what we are shooting at will be the size of peas.
Posted by Toiling Mass on 2008 03 08 at 06:22 AM • permalinkLate to the party again…
A Naked Bicyclist Insists On
His Right to Free ExpressionI like to ride buck naked
Upon my faithful Schwinn
I wave at passing motorists
And flash my winning grin.I must admit, my neighbors
Get prudish and uptight
When I insist that biking
Buck naked is my right.I say, just turn your eyes away
From my buck naked skin
When I am on my front lawn on
My stationary Schwinn.Can they really claim to have been naked if they covered up with body paint?
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 03 09 at 04:46 AM • permalinkThese damn nutjobs—always with the bikes.
As a competitive cyclist (and a car nut), I can assure you that I want no part of these weirdos on my roads. Real bikes are engineering- and tech-intensive machines of real elegance, built to kick ass with no regard for cost. This is a mindbendingly intense sport. I’m not out there to save the world or commune with nature or make a dumb point, so don’t assume we’re all jerks and give me a break when you see me swerving around above tree line in a semi-conscious state dragging my tongue on the ground.
Hardcore cyclists are compulsively, relentlessly, foolishly competitive, worse than anyone I’ve seen in the business world—just ask the WADA.
Posted by Matt in Denver on 2008 03 09 at 09:56 PM • permalink
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What a load of bollocks!
Anyhow, everyone knows Vietnam was about tung and tingsten!