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MYTH KILLED BY LIE
A Loch Ness monster hunter quits in defeat:
Legendary Nessie hunter Robert Rines is giving up his search for the monster after 37 years ...
Despite having hundreds of sonar contacts over the years, the trail has since gone cold and Rines believes that Nessie may be dead, a victim of global warming.
With impressive speed, “Loch Ness monster dead” has already been added to the list. Asks Mark Steyn: “Now will you denialists get with the program?”
(Via Murph and S.E.B)
All right, the coast is clear. MarkL, tell your friend he can come out now.
Posted by wronwright on 2008 02 14 at 12:51 PM • permalinkCome to think of it, I haven’t seen bigfoot or Elvis for awhile. Global warming must’ve got ‘em.
Posted by Bill Ramey on 2008 02 14 at 12:55 PM • permalinkYou better add the abominable snowman to that list........
Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 14 at 12:58 PM • permalinkIn hindsight, maybe we shouldn’t have served the last denizen of Loch Ness as the main dish at the VRWC Gala of 1985. At the very least we should have told the poor man back then that he could stop looking.
Oh well. I guess I’ll have to take blame for that.
Posted by wronwright on 2008 02 14 at 03:08 PM • permalink#4 Old Tanker
The Abominable Slushman? I think that may have been the fate of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons.
You see? There ARE benefits to Globular Warmening.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 02 14 at 03:27 PM • permalink#12 Wronwright
At the very least we should have told the poor man back then that he could stop looking.
An unfortunate oversight, I’m sure.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 02 14 at 03:30 PM • permalinkAnyone seen the Cookie Monster lately?
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2008 02 14 at 03:40 PM • permalinkHey, can we blame glorbal warmening for dead terrorists?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 14 at 03:41 PM • permalink#14 Spiny
I’ll have to show that to my oldest son, he LOVES Calvin and Hobbs..
Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 14 at 03:54 PM • permalinkVampires and werewolves will be the next to go.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 02 14 at 04:01 PM • permalinkAnd sasquatches, mr. creosote. Don’t forget the sasquatches.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 14 at 04:21 PM • permalink...Scotland will soon have a summer beach resort...
Yeah, and that means Scotsmen in speedos and Scotswomen in Brazilian bikinis. Something to really, really look forward to, eh?
Posted by David Crawford on 2008 02 14 at 05:12 PM • permalinkNot only is there a boogeyman under your bed but he caught and ATE the tooth fairy the other night. Now go to sleep!
Posted by Tai Chi Wawa on 2008 02 14 at 05:14 PM • permalinkAnd the chupabaras, too. Although the last alleged “sighting” involved wronwright, the Tardis, and a LOT of Sumerian Mead.
Elizabeth
Imperial KeeperPosted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2008 02 14 at 05:17 PM • permalinkSpiny & Tanker
I love Calvin and Hobbs, too.You know, that’s the best explanation I’ve heard for Elvis and the abominable snow man et. al. disappearing. We all know that Elvis and many others staged their disappearances. Now we must truly consider that they are really, really gone.
Global Warming. When will it all end?
Late last night I was performing the nightly ritual, blokes will know of it, standing in the backyard, having a last durrie and a piss, tearing one orf to spare the missus from the Dutch oven and I heard a terrible howl, much akin to a dingo giving birth to a reaping hook.
That noise chilled me to the bone. I now know that it was just Bryla making friends at Berrima
#40
When was the last time any of our American friends saw a croker sack filled with plump, tasty crokers?
I can answer that.....?????????????????
Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 02 14 at 06:45 PM • permalink#48 So Joey, have you ever been in a turkish prisin before?
Posted by anonymous guest on 2008 02 14 at 06:48 PM • permalinkOh crap. Now we’re going to get ‘Bryla the Martyre’. Or, when he has done time, will it be ‘Bryla - some-body’s Bitch’?
Could not the ‘Sea Shepherd’ have assisted Mr Robert Rines, in his quest? Still, he must be a fast thinker, if it has taken 37 years to find out the bloody obvious. What next; ‘The effects of Globula Warming on the tooth fairy’?From yesterday’s HK Standard:
Global warming blamed for unusual cold spell
As Hong Kong shivers through its second-longest cold spell since 1885, scientists point to global warming to explain the abnormal cold weather phenomenon worldwide.
That’s the coldest since 1967 that is. What was the excuse then?
From Pickle’s linky......
FOUR protesters were jailed in Darwin yesterday, eight months after they were convicted of breaking into the Pine Gap spy base near Alice Springs in the Northern Territory outback.
Donna Mulhearn, 37, Jim Dowling, 50, Adele Goldie, 29, and Bryan Law, 52, were convicted last June and fined more than $3000. The four have refused to pay, claiming they would rather spend time behind bars than fund a government that supports war.
More likely, Bryla’s
wifespousesignificant other refused to pony up the extra cash after Bryla spent it all on his “religious adviser”.Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 14 at 07:29 PM • permalinkBack on topic, I’m surprised the list doesn’t include Santa Claus. He would have to be in as much danger of extinction as other Arctic creatures, such polar bears and Sixty Minutes reporters. And the Easter Bunny? What hope chocolate maintaining its natural egg shape when it’s 105F on Easter morning?
Hmmmmmmm.....since Bryla is all about self-delusion (another form of myths), there ought to be someway of getting glorball warmening to take care of him.
Any thoughts, people?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 14 at 07:32 PM • permalinkWhy have all the Nessies gone?
Global Warming
Why have all the Nessies gone?
Och Aye the noo
Why have all the Nessies gone?
Warming broiled them every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?Why have all the Yetis gone?
Global Warming
Why have all the Yetis gone,
Along with the snow?
Why have all the Yetis gone?
The melting drowned them every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?Why have all the bunyips gone?
Global Warming
Why have all the bunyips gone?
From billabongs
Why have all the bunyips gone?
Waterholes dried up every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?Why have all the yowies gone?
Global Warming
Why have all the yowies gone,
From bush and scrub?
Why have all the yowies gone?
Gone to graveyards every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?Why have all the bigfoots gone?
Global Warming
Why have all the bigfoots gone?
Just ask Al Gore
Why have all the bigfoots gone?
Big Al cries for every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?Did I say global warmening would drive the chupacabras south? I was cobfused by all this warmening and coldening mixed up together. Global warmening will drive the chupacabras north, of course, where they will engage in genocidal warfare with the polar bears. George Bush should be ashamed of himself.
Why have all the bunyips gone?
LMAO!
Now if only the Globular Warmening would do something about this damn rhinovirus…
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 02 14 at 08:11 PM • permalinkOT
Hold on super sceptics! It was not so long ago that people at this site were pillorying life expert, Bob Ellis because of his well backed up concerns about New York ending peoples lives prematurely.
Yet another talented young Australian who has visited New York has had an untimely passing!
Try and explain this one away, explain-bots!
Posted by Margos Maid on 2008 02 14 at 08:13 PM • permalinkUNICORNS FINALLY EXTINCT
Scientists at the Faculty Of Utopian Studies at Sydney University have announced the demise of the much loved Unicorn. “At some unknown date during the month of February this year, the last ‘Monotuskis Equinsis’ went carbon neutral. Obviously this is an enormous tragedy for all humanity, but particularly for children and feeble minded adults” a tearful Professor Moonbeam Love-Apple said.
Professor Love-Apple heads up the university’s highly regarded “Endangered Idealisms” department that deals with studies of any threats to the Faculty’s social justice programmes which have made such great progress towards making the whole world feel nice at all times.
“Obviously, the Unicorn has been in decline for some time. Its population peaked sometime during the late 1960’s and early 70’s during that deeply enlightened period.” She continued.
“Despite the best efforts of we who know best, and our highly successful campaigns which convinced successive Labor governments to fund larger and more desperate measures to preserve this beautiful, peaceful and crucial animal, the intransigence of big business, coupled with scepticism from the federal opposition proved too powerful.” She added through choked back tears.
When pressed for details she stated, “of course the main culprit has been the fact that capitalism has caused the temperature to rise by somewhere in the vicinity of one jillion degrees and this has melted all the pixie dust. What else could the Unicorns survive on?”
The Federal Minister for Bags, Luggage and Portmanteaus Peter Garrett said: “This is the greatest tragedy since the outbreak of free market disease in Eastern Europe in the late 1980’s. The government will shortly be calling a Royal Commission and be establishing a compensation fund for all those effected. A sorry statement will be read in Parliament in the near future.”
Bravely wiping away the tears, a stoic Porfessor Love-Apple concluded, “our work goes on. We will pick ourselves up and carry on regardless. There is much to do. This must spur the government into establishing a crisis fund which we can access. If not, others such as the Fairy will surely follow.”
Alas, the Unicorn probably contributed to its own demise. It’s a well known fact that Unicorns subsist on a diet of rose petals and four-leafed clovers, and this contributed to a particular carbon-intensive dung. In the words of a well-known perfessor of Unicorn studies, “It fricking stunk to high hell!” And this undoubtedly contributed to climate change.
If only those milk-skinned maidens could have learnt to carry bags around with them to pick up unicorn dung, then this may never have happened. When will people learn to live in harmony with their natural environment? I weep for the unicorns and Loch Ness Monsters we have already lost.
Global warming is also blamed for inaccurate weather forecasts as well as snow.
Meanwhile, I think Roger Clemens is involved somehow too:
"The polar jet stream has been on steroids. We don’t understand this. It’s pushing our limits, and it’s humbling,” said Klaus Wolter, a meteorologist with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and the University of Colorado at Boulder.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2008 02 14 at 10:06 PM • permalinkDead? Sure but didn’t existence more likely. Damn you Global warming making Nessie not exist.
The irony is if Nessie was killed by global warming there would be a corpse.
Posted by Old school on 2008 02 14 at 10:23 PM • permalinkI am worried about unseasonable flooding in the UK drowning all the wombles.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 02 14 at 10:28 PM • permalinkThe real shocking truth why the unicorn is no more...
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 02 15 at 12:05 AM • permalinkPickles,
It’s Berrimah.
Furthermore, and perhaps contra Paul Toohey (haven’t read his book so I don’t know what he says in it), there are at least a few people around these parts who don’t believe Brad did it. Certainly there are signs on the road from Alice to Darwin saying something like “Murdoch is innocent”.
Can someone tell me why cattle dogs are useless at sniffing out a quarry?
From the SMH:
An appeal against their sentences was due to begin on Wednesday, but Law was arrested on Tuesday when the crown lost an application to have his arrest warrant suspended.
Chief Justice Brian Martin said it was the first time he had seen a defendant argue to go to jail and the crown apply to keep him out.
I’ve heard of being arse about, but Bryla takes things to remarkably stupid lengths.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2008 02 15 at 07:25 AM • permalink#101
good one, blog!signed for my new car today. got a really REALLY good deal.
apparently my old car was in really good nick for a just over 9 year old with just under 300k on the clock (297980 or so).
Woohoo. If you’re looking for a car, a Toymota, I know just the place for good deals…
#100
Nilk, the Bry in Bryla isn’t for “bright”, y’know?#62 Well done een. it brings a tear to the eye. Even if that tear is quickly evaporated, or frozen depending on where you are,by global warming/climate change or whatever the marketers are calling it now.
And what about the Oompah Loompahs? They are being displaced by ferals who are protesting the logging of the Amazon Jungles. Seen any Oompah Loompahs lately?
Oompah Loompah digeridoo
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompah Loompah digeridee
If you are wise you’ll listen to meWhat do you blame when you can’t find your Ness?
Claim that it’s died due to the climate change mess.That’s what global warming does!
Oompah Loompah Digerida
If you see through this you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompah Loompah Doompety Do
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Well, if it’s dead, it ought to be easier to find now, no?