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MUNCH EASY

A friend emails from Qatar:

It’s Ramadan, week one. So no eating or drinking anything between sunrise and sunset. Supposedly. Today we discovered the Lebanese restaurant downstairs is doing a roaring ‘under the counter’ lunch trade - it’s kinda like food prohibition and this place is the ‘munch easy’. Great Leb pizza with lamb mince and yoghurt! All for AUD$6.

In other travel news:

Iran’s president has ordered that the country’s nuclear sites be opened to foreign tourists to prove its programme is peaceful, state media report.

No details were given on the nature of the trips, or when they might begin.

Possible attractions would include the plants at Isfahan and Natanz, or a reactor being built in Bushehr.

Wow! Too many choices!

Posted by Tim B. on 10/05/2006 at 01:07 PM
  1. Iran’s president has ordered that the country’s nuclear sites be opened to foreign tourists to prove its programme is peaceful, state media report.

    Hot damn! A chance to visit Iran’s spanking new Nuke-A-Rama theme parks! Man, that beats Gatorland any day.

    Posted by paco on 2006 10 05 at 01:17 PM • permalink

  2. Will Helen Caldicott take Iran up on this offer?  Might be a great way to de-debunk her book.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 05 at 01:22 PM • permalink

  3. How do you get to Iran?

    We were discussing Christmas holiday options and thinking of Surfers Paradise but with this hot tourist option we are willing to change all plans

    Could we dress up as UN inspectors and pretend to inspect?

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 10 05 at 01:26 PM • permalink

  4. Paco! Why not combine the two? Whenever the US does anything, it’s accused of mutating the wildlife. Radioactive gators!?! Maybe Florida will win their bowl game this year!

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2006 10 05 at 01:31 PM • permalink

  5. I should note that in the case of Three Mile Island in Pennsylvannia, there were accounts of dairy cows in nearby fields suffering from horrible mootations.

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2006 10 05 at 01:33 PM • permalink

  6. Because, you know, tourists can tell at a glance the difference between electricity-producing plants and a weapons program.

    Posted by Director on 2006 10 05 at 01:35 PM • permalink

  7. I am just waiting for the Moonbat Parade.  Today is Anarchist Christimas or something.  They want to shut down the city and throw poor defensless news boxes through windows of evil Starbucks.  The city seems to be huming along.

    Posted by Room 237 on 2006 10 05 at 01:39 PM • permalink

  8. We, two ordinary Aussies, want to be weapons inspectors - we know the difference between peaceful nuclear stuff and the nuclear bad bombs - we read the SMH

    Surfers Paradise is now out for Christmas hols and Iran is in

    But how do we get there? We only have two weeks holiday leave - so is there an Air Iran?

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 10 05 at 01:43 PM • permalink

  9. #4: Blue Hen, can I interest you in an executive position in the marketing division of Paco Enterprises?

    #7: I believe the moonbats are beginning to flock. I was standing outside the federal agency where I work a while ago, having a meditative cigarette (note to U.S. taxpayers: it was my lunch break), when a disheveled fellow in dirty clothes weaved along the sidewalk, carrying a placard inviting all and sundry to “drive out the Bush regime”. He was handing out flyers of some sort, but gave me a miss. Which didn’t surprise me: I was dressed - rather resplendently, if I may say so - in a double-breasted gray pinstripe suit, registering aggressive conservative Republicanism with every fiber of my being. Anyway, his sign indicated that he was acting on behalf of something called “The World Can’t Wait”. In fact, now that I think of it, I believe this outfit has been planning some kind of mass demonstration for October - marches and strikes and so forth (though it seems to me that a strike, to be effective, must be launched by people who actually have jobs, which I doubt these folks do).

    Posted by paco on 2006 10 05 at 01:52 PM • permalink

  10. The Qataris are pretty laid back as far as I could tell (I was there from August 03-April 04).  Lots of places you can get a nice meal (and even a drink), beach resorts, plenty of shopping, even dancing girls in lingerie at one of the hotels.

    I even got combat pay for being there.

    Posted by 68W40 on 2006 10 05 at 01:54 PM • permalink

  11. An executive position eh? Does that mean I have to clean under the executives’ desks, like Wronwright?

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2006 10 05 at 01:58 PM • permalink

  12. Possible attractions would include the plants at Isfahan and Natanz, or a reactor being built in Bushehr.

    WOW! Is this an E or A ticket ride?

    Fatima, here I come…well, I mean, I’ll see ya’....shit, ok, I may drop over.

    ok, I’ll stop digging the hole now

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 10 05 at 02:04 PM • permalink

  13. I’ve always said a Middle East attraction would have to be radioactive to beat what Egypt has to offer.

    Posted by Rittenhouse on 2006 10 05 at 02:08 PM • permalink

  14. Hey, here’s a pic of the first tour group!

    Bon Voyage, Iran!

    Posted by Patricia on 2006 10 05 at 02:13 PM • permalink

  15. #14: Yes!

    Posted by paco on 2006 10 05 at 02:20 PM • permalink

  16. Today we discovered the Lebanese restaurant downstairs is doing a roaring ‘under the counter’ lunch trade

    Does anyone else find this comforting? I do.

    Posted by tim maguire on 2006 10 05 at 02:41 PM • permalink

  17. #14, dang all you guys, you all piled on that link and killed the server.  Shame on you.

    I’m thinking Ahmamidgetnutjob has managed to rig up some present-worthy nuclear facades to show the West, while the really good stuff is safely tucked away in well-hidden facilities.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 10 05 at 02:42 PM • permalink

  18. Iran’s president has ordered that the country’s nuclear sites be opened to foreign tourists to prove its programme is peaceful, state media report.

    Eh. I’d rather head to Epcot and ride “Energy” again. Ellen Degeneres and Bill Nye the Science Guy are infinitely less annoying than Ahmedinijad, and the dinosaurs are unlikely to explode.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 10 05 at 03:29 PM • permalink

  19. I even got combat pay for being there.

    I spent a few days there as well, 91B30.  Qatar is very laid back.  I enjoyed myself a very good pint of Guineas, I did!  Although the comedian featured at the club really sucked.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 05 at 03:34 PM • permalink

  20. Jeff-you get the R&R at As Saliyah?  When were you there? 

    I even had a CHU to myself-completely air conditioned with cable TV.  I made up for all that when I got to Bernstein. 

    Duty in Qatar was like a regular overseas posting, the biggest danger we faced was from the crazy Qatari drivers at traffic circles.

    Posted by 68W40 on 2006 10 05 at 03:49 PM • permalink

  21. And no punishing the one-eyed imam during Ramadan in Iran either—it’s official. But you are still allowed to blog, at least if you’re president. So, wanking: no; wankers: yes. Allah be praised.
    http://tinyurl.com/fb5xw

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 10 05 at 04:41 PM • permalink

  22. #11 An executive position eh? Does that mean I have to clean under the executives’ desks, like Wronwright?

    Hey!  I’ll have you know that I only clean up under one desk, Karl’s.  It’s usually just picking up secret yet cunning plans to take over the world, wadded up in little balls.  Discarded transcripts of Democratic strategy sessions.  Copies of the NY Times, with red grammatical corrections and the occasional YES! written in the margins.  And um, toe nail clippings.  I hate the last part.  But they did give me a special Dust Buster to pick em up.

    Otherwise, I spend the rest of my day fulfilling my executive duties as a henchman for the RWDB.

    (reaches for Turtle Wax)

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 05 at 04:54 PM • permalink

  23. Tell that Beeb guy to slow down; we’re taking notes here.

    OK, Isfahan, Natanz, Bushehr…please continue with all other locations and specifications, and be as precise as possible. We’re planning to send a tour bus.

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 10 05 at 05:18 PM • permalink

  24. 91B30, I was assigned to CFLCC HQ in Kuwait as the liaison for a major command.  I never did a formal R&R in Qatar, but I visited a few times on official business.  And whenever the head hancho of my organization toured the theater (at least 3 times a year), I escorted him and his entourage around the place. 

    Once I had to rendevouz with him in Qatar to provide the crew with helmets and IBA before they were off to the combat zones.  Because the flights were generally booked up, I had to arrive 3 days early.

    This, of course, was COMPLETELY unplanned*, else I would have been in and out the same day (I did that a couple times as well).  So I suffered the pains of staying on the Army base in Qatar.  Truly, I suffered, especially since, like you, I was able to secure a private CHU.  And I was able to visit downtown with knowledgeable people.

    ===================================

    *: I’m serious about that.  The chief of the section that I was attached to made the planning section try for several days to get a one day trip for that mission.  Alas, his very competent people failed to work the system adequately.  And, at that, I had to travel in a C12.  ;-)

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 05 at 05:24 PM • permalink

  25. It is just a sneaky way of getting human shields.

    Posted by The Big Fish on 2006 10 05 at 05:52 PM • permalink

  26. Roll up, roll up!
    Ride the Cyclotron!
    Feed the two-headed Camel!
    See your friends glow in the dark!
    Drink tea from World’s Largest Samovar doubling as cooling tower, or fresh juice from our high speed centrifuges juicers!

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 10 05 at 06:01 PM • permalink

  27. Potemkin villages, Terezin, model communes during the Cultural Revolution . . .

    Yep, right out of the totalitarian playbook.  Count on the usual gullible Westerners to be completely duped.

    Posted by cosmo on 2006 10 05 at 07:16 PM • permalink

  28. Tim’s Mom should make Iran her next trip.

    First email home: “Nearly had enough Gas Centrifuges.”

    Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2006 10 05 at 07:29 PM • permalink

  29. There is an Arab village called Abu-Ghosh just outside Jerusalem. When all the restaurants and shops were closed on a Saturday (the Sabbath) many people would go to Abu-Ghosh for some of the best Hummous you’ll find.

    Once.

    Then the terrorists fucked all that up and the Arab restaurants have been suffering since.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 10 05 at 08:32 PM • permalink

  30. Iran’s president has ordered that the country’s nuclear sites be opened to foreign tourists to prove its programme is peaceful, state media report.

    With Donna Mulhearn as your tour guide!

    Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2006 10 05 at 08:40 PM • permalink

  31. You might have to consider some heavy duty travel insurance- I’d say the Israeli Airforce F16s will be on full wick when they pop over for some “photoreconnaissance”, and standard tourist cover doesn’t normally stretch to phosphorous burns, shrapnel wounds and urgent medivac.

    You might also like to note this handy hint (scroll down) from some locals on protecting your valuables in this tourist attraction- after all, you must remember that safety standards (and the shitters for that matter) in the Levant aren’t up to the level you’re used to in the west, and if you happen to avoid being there when the IDF do some major renovations to the facility, you don’t want to be responsible for some sort of horrible genetic mutation 9 months after you return home.

    Happy travels!

    Posted by Habib on 2006 10 05 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  32. Oops- I neglected to mention in the travel hint that F16s on afterburners won’t be audible until the “airburst cameras” have detonated all over the shop, so you won’t hear them coming; also they’ll probably be on TFR, and the clapped out soviet ground radar used by the Iranians won’t pick them up either. A holiday isn’t complete without fireworks, but you don’t want to be too close when they go off!

    Posted by Habib on 2006 10 05 at 08:45 PM • permalink

  33. I bet Sean Penn is the first in line.

    Reading TRFS and 91B30 reminds me that we haven’t heard anything from TexasBob for a long time.  I wonder what has happened.  Anybody?

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 10 05 at 10:38 PM • permalink

  34. #9 Paco in a suit, niiiice. 

    #10 91B - the sacrifices you have made for your country are endless, mate! I’m sure you have everyone’s sympathy. Make the most of it, you have a thankless job, but I thank you. And you, TRJ.

    GG for Habib.

    Posted by kae on 2006 10 05 at 11:10 PM • permalink

  35. #29 Dan, would that be the same Abu Gosh that has it’s very own contingent of volunteer muslims in the IDF?

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 10 06 at 01:44 AM • permalink

  36. Maybe Jane Fonda could run some conducted tours for Jetset.

    Posted by mr magoo on 2006 10 06 at 02:37 AM • permalink

  37. During Ramadan crank up the BBQ, bacon for breakfast, pork chops for lunch and ham and pineapple for dinner.  If the wind is in the right direction those gastric juices of the people in pious self-denial will gurgle.  Bon appetit.

    Posted by Howzat on 2006 10 06 at 05:26 AM • permalink

  38. #11 An executive position eh? Does that mean I have to clean under the executives’ desks, like Wronwright?

    Oi! No fair!. It’s my minions who do that sorta stuff except for a few special cases where the henchmen really want to suck up to … erm, … assume special duties for (that’s better), yup, assume special duties for their respective masters. So when Wronwright says that he cleans under only one desk, he’s right. The minionettes do not do that job at all, although they do get dusting, and wear those little French maid outfits.

    And the RSLWC (Really Stupid Left Wing Conspiracy) is just a mess. Don’t even have any minionettes. Monica Lewinsky was the last straw, their minionettes all came over to the Dark Side after that ‘cause they get treated with respect, appreciation, wolf-whistles and dignity over here.

    Anyhoo, we do most of that basic stuff housekeeping stuff. cleaning, stores, maintenance, plesiosaur dentistry, building Mars base, all the usual mundane stuff. And the minionettes dust Wronwright’s Norman shield and Zulu spear (the ones on Andrea’s trophy wall). Oh, and the troll heads on Andreas wall. Come to think of it, nearly half the dusting in VRWC’s secret underground HQ (15,000 levels and counting) is Andrea’s trophy wall. That could be why she just had we minions extend it by another 400 metres.

    Upwards.

    (Psst! Wron! Don’t try to steal ‘em back. Andrea’s installed her patented ‘Skin-em-alive-o-matic’ security system. Tested it on a Young Spartacist moonbat. Oooh, such delightful screams! And she lampshaded the last troll, Kalli. It had ‘interesting’ tattoos.)

    Oh, and henchmen polish the black helicopters. Special perk of the job.

    Gotta run, teaching a new minion class advanced grovelling, then we have ‘Getting ruthlessly kicked aside in the corridor by the Dark Lord’ lessons. Karl loves those.

    Then, at midnight, there’s the graduation ceremony for last year’s minion class. Nearly half survived this time. Karl awards the pass with a presentation, followed by the ceremonial kick in the slats. He loves that job, too.

    And THAT means a drunken debauchery and a feast. Mmm, I can smell the mammoths roasting.

    MarkL
    Canberra
    Minionmeister

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 10 06 at 06:18 AM • permalink

  39. A whole bunch of people need to go visit those sites.  Take along your cameras and get plenty of photos.  Also, take along those little $100 GPS thingies so you don’t get lost, and copy down the coordinates of everything really neat so you can go back and find them again without a tour guide.

    (It’s called “reconaissance.”)

    Posted by Baby M on 2006 10 06 at 07:08 AM • permalink

  40. 33 saltydog

    Reading TRFS and 91B30 reminds me that we haven’t heard anything from TexasBob for a long time.  I wonder what has happened.  Anybody?

    Have wondered that myself re: Texas Bob. His last post as I recall was August 31st.

    I came upon The Alberta Rose site of the fallen. Have searched it through, there are several from Texas, if one assumes that the nic, did in fact reflect the State.

    I dearly hope he is NOT on this list and has just decided that posting on the Tim Blair Blog, is the least of his duties…BUT should Texas Bob, be among these brave men and women, may he rest in peace.

    You are a hero, You are OUR hero and you are among our nations many hero’s, all still looking down upon us, ever vigilant.

    May God bless you and may God bless and comfort, your family.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 10 06 at 11:11 AM • permalink

  41. #40 El Cid: Nobody can ever say that you are unmindful of our heroes. It’s good of you to keep a look-out.

    I’ve been worried about him, too, as we all are. I’m hoping that one of these days we’ll see his moniker show up at the end of one of those funny, insightful comments of his. God bless him, wherever he is.

    Posted by paco on 2006 10 06 at 11:39 AM • permalink

  42. Since I’ve seen this on a couple of threads I am going to post some helpful links that might help us determine what has become of Texas Bob.

    From his profile he states that he is an officer and that he has 20 years of service.  From that I think it is safe to assume that he is probably at least a major in his 40s.

    Several websites keep track of casualties: icasualties has a page where the list is sorted by state.  As can be expected Texas has a long list, but many of those listed can be eliminated as Bob for either rank, age or date of death.  Global Security lists casualties by month, so if it can be determined when Bob posted last, we can search that list to see if he is among those listed there (one problem is that they rarely do follow up, so if they get a report of a casualty that individual may not be identified for some time).  Better detectives than myself can see if they can figure anything out.

    Hopefully he has simply become bored of us.  Even if he is not listed on any of these websites, we may not be able to determine what has happened if he has been wounded and evacuated from theater.

    Posted by 68W40 on 2006 10 06 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  43. Texas Bob

    August 30, 2006 04:36 AM

    Listed as “most recent” and from what can be deduced, his last entry.

    Christ, I have chills and watery eyes. DAMN!

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 10 06 at 12:11 PM • permalink

  44. Texas Bob

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 10 06 at 12:25 PM • permalink

  45. I’m just hoping Texas Bob has finished his tour and gone home to his family, and just hasn’t had time or inclination to post here.  Until somebody says different, that’s what I’m going to believe.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 10 06 at 04:06 PM • permalink

  46. It’s possible he might be leading a Delta team on a mission to locate and extricate Stoop Davy Dave who’s been missing for a while now.  You didn’t hear that from me.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 06 at 04:27 PM • permalink

  47. “The Iran hostage crisis was a 444-day period (about 14 months), during which student proxies of the new Iranian regime held hostage 66 diplomats and citizens of the United States inside the U.S. embassy in Tehran.”—wiki

    “WASHINGTON (CNN)—Iran is responsible for the 1983 suicide bombing of a U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut, Lebanon, that killed 241 American servicemen, a U.S. District Court judge ruled Friday…”

    “U.S. District Judge Royce C. Lamberth said the suicide truck bombing was carried out by the group Hezbollah with the approval and funding of Iran’s senior government officials.”—CNN

    Some of us really couldn’t give a crap about the mad mullahs nuclear program, we want to destroy them no matter what happens in regard to their nuclear programs.

    Better hope and pray Dave Surls doesn’t wind up running America, mad mullahs, because if I ever do…you’re burnt toast (Dresden/Hiroshima style).

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 10 06 at 09:37 PM • permalink

  48. #41, Dave Surls:

    Amen.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 10 07 at 12:44 AM • permalink

  49. Two weeks in Iran? Wonder what to give your Mother in Law for Christmas?

    Posted by waussie on 2006 10 07 at 12:49 AM • permalink

  50. 8 aussiemagpie

    We only have two weeks holiday leave - so is there an Air Iran?

    IranAir

    Give a big hello to all the mad mullahs, from all their friends at Tim Blair’s Blog ok?...lol.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 10 07 at 07:43 AM • permalink

  51. Shit, I can’t contain myself. Just this morning received an email reply from one I sent 9/11/06….

    Hey El Cid,
      Sorry about the delay in getting back to you. I’ve been on emergency leave and then got stuck in Kuwait.  All is well and I’m back in Iraq getting ready to finish my last 2 months of this tour.  We’ve been having a little more action than usual and with everything else going on here I just haven’t had time to post. Hopefully, I will again very soon.
    Thanks a lot for the concern, it is really appreciated!

    Texas Bob

    Replied back, that we ALL would give him a rousing welcome when he posts again…and will shower him with kegs of whatever beer, he wanted.

    Truly wonderful news and on a day, after a day, where I had given serious thought, that a friend had been seriously hurt or worse.

    I’m terrifically elated…and yes there is a God…at least to me, there is.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 10 07 at 07:55 AM • permalink

  52. #51
    Yaaaaay! That’s great news.

    ahem, sorry about the outburst, but I was concerned, too.

    I hope whatever had him on emergency leave wasn’t too traumatic.

    Posted by kae on 2006 10 07 at 08:03 AM • permalink

  53. 52 kae

    Yaaaaay! That’s great news.

    Yes, yes it is. I had the same outburst, when I opened the email and with great trepidation at first, as I had no knowledge who the sender was…all the subject line stated was RE: Texas Bob.

    But it is indeed, great news.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 10 07 at 08:11 AM • permalink

  54. #53

    It’s just that with any members of our ‘family’ here who we know are serving military members, especially in dangerous zones (?), it does cause concern if we don’t hear from them for a while.

    I am really pleased that you have heard from him, and hope we will see a post from him real soon.

    Posted by kae on 2006 10 07 at 08:43 AM • permalink

  55. kae

    Absolutely and exactly….for ALL of our brave.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 10 07 at 09:05 AM • permalink

  56. #52, glad to hear it!!

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 10 07 at 10:13 AM • permalink

  57. Hooray!!  And what a relief to hear TBob is okay!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 10 07 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  58. Wonderful news, El Cid. Well done to you and amen for glad tidings.

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 10 07 at 08:23 PM • permalink

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