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“MRS. CARBON SASQUATCH”

Climate scold Laurie David is living it up with a new guy, enjoying sustainable water-skiing jaunts and the like (hope that boat’s a hybrid!). A neighbour of the wealthy eco-tyrant isn’t amused:

Actually, Laurie David has been creating one HUGE carbon footprint here on Martha’s Vineyard for the last 6 years. Her disgusting and ostentatious trophy building has been virtually ceaseless for about 6 years now. The trucks and pollution stop only when Mrs. Carbon Sasquatch is here for her summer vacation, making herself the center of everyone’s attention.

And I’d say the fact that I saw Laurie and her hottie but dumb building contractor, Bart Thorpe, holding hands while walking on a secluded dock to a boat yesterday, has a lot more to do with her marriage breaking up than the scratchy toilet paper she’s forced on her family.

These people are beyond belief.

Posted by Tim B. on 07/25/2007 at 09:06 PM
  1. I like the global warming bracelet on the be-yotch’s website:


    100% recycled scrap leather.

    What’s an eco-droid to do? Wear dead animal flesh for the cause?

    Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2007 07 25 at 09:28 PM • permalink

  2. Ms David - this one’s for you:

    Your Feet’s Too Big

    [Spoken]
    Who’s that walkin’ ‘round here?
    Mercy!
    Sounds like baby patter!
    Baby elephant patter, that’s what I calls it!

    Say, up in Harlem,
    At a table for two,
    There were four of us,
    Me, your big feet and you!
    From your ankles up, I say you sure are sweet,
    From there down, there’s just too much feet!
    Yas!

    Your feet’s too big!
    Don’t want ya ‘cause your feet’s too big!
    Can’t use ya ‘cause your feet’s too big!
    I really hate ya ‘cause your feet’s too big!
    Yeah!

    Da-dee-do-dah, wan-ga-der!
    Where’d you get ‘em?
    Nyah-da-dum!
    Your girl, she likes you, she thinks you’re nice,
    Got what it takes to be in paradise;
    She says she likes your face, she likes your rig,
    But, man, oh, man, them things are too big!

    Oh, your feet’s too big!
    Don’t want ya ‘cause your feet’s too big!
    Mad at you ‘cause your feet’s too big!
    I hate you ‘cause your feet’s too big!

    [Spoken]
    My goodness, those are gunboats!
    Shift! Shift! Shift!

    Oh, your pedal extremities are colossal!
    To me you look just like a fossil!
    You got me walkin’, talkin’ and squawkin’,
    ‘Cause your feet’s too big, yeah!

    [Spoken]
    Come on and walk that thing!
    Oh, I never heard of such walkin’! Mercy!
    Your… your pedal extremities really are obnoxious.
    One never knows, do one?

    Ah, Fats Waller ...

    Posted by EdwardM on 2007 07 25 at 09:43 PM • permalink

  3. Well, from this stupid and haughty bitch’s picture, Bart is welcome to her and her…carbon whatevers.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 07 25 at 09:50 PM • permalink

  4. #2 Edward: DUDE! You’re talkin’ my language! Classic tune from Fats, and an absolutely perfect take on Laurie David’s “pedal extremities”. BTW, don’t have Fats on at the moment, but am listening to the sensational Sammy Price (“Sammy’s Boogie”, 1948).

    Posted by paco on 2007 07 25 at 09:50 PM • permalink

  5. Laurie David has been creating one HUGE carbon footprint here on Martha’s Vineyard

    She is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored.

    May her truth keep marching on.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 25 at 09:52 PM • permalink

  6. #2 Edward: Here’s a YouTube video of Fats Waller from a 1941 film short performing “Your Feet’s Too Big” (little bit different arrangement from the original studio recording).

    Posted by paco on 2007 07 25 at 10:00 PM • permalink

  7. When unbelievers question.

    Cartoon accompanying this article by Patrick Cook.

    Posted by Henry boy on 2007 07 25 at 10:14 PM • permalink

  8. (Gasp, staggering around with hand over where heart should be located if I possessed one.) You mean there are other people besides me that like the music from the 30s and 40s?

    Posted by SwampWoman on 2007 07 25 at 10:19 PM • permalink

  9. Oh god, did you read any of that ecorazzi site?  Could it be eco-possible to eco-appeand eco to any more eco-words?

    Posted by bondo on 2007 07 25 at 10:35 PM • permalink

  10. #9 eco is the new fuckin’

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 25 at 10:38 PM • permalink

  11. “Scratchy toilet paper”?  That’s for Euroweenies!!!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 25 at 10:46 PM • permalink

  12. #10 - So if your girlfriend wants to spend the weekend at an eco-lodge you should jump at it?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 25 at 10:52 PM • permalink

  13. #8 SwampWoman: Posilutely, hep kitten! What’s your pleasure, treasure? Your plate gives my weight a solid flip. You crack the whip, I’ll make the trip (at least, that’s what Freddie Slack would say).

    Just for you, Cab Calloway and his orchestra performing The Jumpin’ Jive. Come for the music, stay for the fantastic dance routine by those terpsichorean titans, the Nicholas Brothers. Awwwwwreet!

    Posted by paco on 2007 07 25 at 11:05 PM • permalink

  14. PACO…what HAVE you been smoking?

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 07 25 at 11:26 PM • permalink

  15. Thank you! That was a wonderful performance!  I’ve watched it again and again, but I have to admit that the Nicholas brothers had me going ooooooh, THAT’s gonna hurt in the morning.

    Posted by SwampWoman on 2007 07 25 at 11:30 PM • permalink

  16. The “do as I say not as I do” mentality that pervades the AGW alarmist industry is what is bringing it down.

    The whole religion is being crushed under an Everest of hypocrisy, so much so, that the stupid Earth Day concert fiasco had a global audience of about the same proportions as the 25th rerun of the unfunniest episode of M*A*S*H.

    I give AGW twelve months before it’s lack of credibility finally administers a humane death blow. Then the dopey alarmist media types such as the ABC, BBC, CNN, NYT, Fairfax et al will begin distancing themselves from Flannery, Gore, Monboit and the other lunatics as fast as possible.

    Then, on command, it will be cool to be a sceptic.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 07 25 at 11:30 PM • permalink

  17. She ought to be given to some of the nicer Pathan enviroactivists -doubt the arrogance would last very long

    Just another reincarnated carny barker, selling the same old snake oil…. and making more than a few quid.

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 07 25 at 11:30 PM • permalink

  18. Laurie’s only with Bart cos of his ‘big footprints’?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 07 25 at 11:31 PM • permalink

  19. Bonmot… you may be comfortably reassured that the loudest squawkers for AGW will be prominent in forecasting its demise -once the science is settled, of course, and the profits from the South Sea Bubble Carbon offsets little earner are safely pocketed.

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 07 25 at 11:55 PM • permalink

  20. #18 Well, you know what they say about men with big footprints…

    *wink wink nudge nudge*

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 07 25 at 11:56 PM • permalink

  21. #20 - Big boots and they like Hummers?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 25 at 11:57 PM • permalink

  22. #19 Rod C
    Of course. After the dosh is banked. Silly moi for not mentioning it.
    Must always be in that order.
    Do the banking, then hit the road to Damascus.

    Bob Geldoff admitted as much. He says he does what he does for the enrichment of his family first, everything else runs second.

    All the world’s gazillionaire Bolshies made their pile first.
    Exhibits A and B Al Gore and Phillip Adams.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 07 26 at 12:03 AM • permalink

  23. #20

    Well, you know what they say about men with big footprints…

    They’re clowns?

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 26 at 12:28 AM • permalink

  24. Well, you know what they say about men with big footprints…

    *wink wink nudge nudge*

    Say no more.

    Posted by CraigC on 2007 07 26 at 12:55 AM • permalink

  25. You know what they say about men with big hands, right?

    They have a really hard time finding gloves.

    Posted by CraigC on 2007 07 26 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  26. “Actually, Laurie David has been creating one HUGE carbon footprint…”

    That’s unfair. 

    While it’s true that Ms. David is reputed to travel between mansions in chartered private planes, she offsets this by urging commoners to use push lawnmowers instead of powered mowers.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 26 at 01:48 AM • permalink

  27. Anybody notice Laurie’s bogus use of an Einstein quote at the top of her blog?

    “We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.”

    This quote concerns the use of nuclear weapons.  I wonder if this means that she’s all for taking out Iran’s nuclear aspirations.

    While I love Fats, Duke, Cab, and I surely do love those guys, give me young Louis birthin’ swing and the sweet, sweet tones of Miss Ella’s pure voice.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 07 26 at 02:17 AM • permalink

  28. #27

    I’m listening to “Gee, Baby, Ain’t I Good to You?” at the moment.

    Sounds good.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 26 at 02:39 AM • permalink

  29. Laurie David - no doubt she’s in love with the eco-saviour she sees in the mirror every morning.
    Here’s a story about a real hero, who has sadly passed away.

    RIP, Jake.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 07 26 at 02:45 AM • permalink

  30. #14, no no no…he is smokin’...

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 07 26 at 03:08 AM • permalink

  31. By the Beard of the Prophet (pbuh)! I looked at that Laurie David site…..

    Middle-class feelgood claptrap - buy a Prius, buy new appliances, get fluorescent bulbs, hang out your clothes to dry, pump up your tyres etc etc.

    Not a single word about cooking from dung fires, if we are to reduce carbon emissions by 90% by 2050.  Not a single word about the poor folk freezing to death, not a word about agricultural production disappearing and consequent starvation, not a word about arming yourself to protect your meagre vegetable garden crops from starving thieves, not a word about harvesting your own penicillin from mouldy bread, because that’s the only medication you will have in 2050.

    What an appalling hypocrite.

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 07 26 at 03:39 AM • permalink

  32. #16 Bonmot: that and the realisation that people like Monbiot are socialists. I don’t give AGW 12 months. I’d say by January 2008 we’ll see the pendulum begin to swing back.

    Tim should start a pool.

    Posted by Hanyu on 2007 07 26 at 04:16 AM • permalink

  33. Look, this climate change warming colding stuff is shit.. Five years of nonsense is enough, OK? Let’s get on with life.

    Which Vladimir Putin seems to be doing. launchin the next cold war.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 07 26 at 04:20 AM • permalink

  34. Oops, left out a capital letter and a g in one word. Can’t teach kids anything these days.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 07 26 at 04:23 AM • permalink

  35. 29 Swinish

    Yes, here’s to Jake, Hero Dog.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 07 26 at 04:51 AM • permalink

  36. #8

    There’s lots of us!

    Posted by kae on 2007 07 26 at 04:59 AM • permalink

  37. #29

    Hero.

    Posted by kae on 2007 07 26 at 05:05 AM • permalink

  38. #20
    Bart’d better watch out, hanging out with Mrs Carbon Suscrotch ...

    Guess Larry only had a big wallet?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 07 26 at 05:08 AM • permalink

  39. Bye bye Pasha Bulker.. toot

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 07 26 at 05:13 AM • permalink

  40. I’ll meet your Laurie David and raise you 2 Madonnas and 50 Cent

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 07 26 at 05:14 AM • permalink

  41. Laurie’s next book:
    69 Ways to Confront a Warming Globe?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 07 26 at 05:28 AM • permalink

  42. #8, Swampwoman

    Some of my favourites:
    In the mood - Glen Miller
    Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy - Andrews Sisters
    Begin the Beguine - Artie Shaw
    Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White (first and last are Perez Prado and Eddie Calvert respectively).  Stranger in Paradise (Tony Bennett) is in the middle but that’s just what comes with the clip.  That one’s from 1955 so maybe that’s not the right period for you.

    Posted by Janice on 2007 07 26 at 05:32 AM • permalink

  43. #16, 32: The worm is already turning:

    The Ipsos Mori poll of 2,032 adults - interviewed between 14 and 20 June - found 56% believed scientists were still questioning climate change.

    There was a feeling the problem was exaggerated to make money, it found.

    The over-the-top exaggerations and grotesquely hypocritical celebrity admonishments have officially backfired. Hip, hip huzzah.

    Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2007 07 26 at 05:34 AM • permalink

  44. I must admit that my Citizen Moon Phase watch has… Eco-Drive (The face of the dial is a solar cell).

    Hey!  That must mean I have a smaller carbon footprint than Laurie does, in addition to my superior moral framework!

    Posted by Hucbald on 2007 07 26 at 05:36 AM • permalink

  45. OT

    A window into the mind of the average The Age reader.

    Totalitarian killjoys.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 26 at 05:37 AM • permalink

  46. #8 SwampWoman - You mean there are other people besides me that like the music from the 30s and 40s?

    Two favorites:

    - Solitude

    - Stardust

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 26 at 06:38 AM • permalink

  47. #44
    Some of us wear mechanical automatics.
      If you don’t emit CO2, the watch doesn’t work.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 07 26 at 06:39 AM • permalink

  48. “Yes, I take a private plane on holiday a couple of times a year, and I feel horribly guilty about it. I probably shouldn’t do it…”  It’s an actual quote although she goes on to say that she’s not perfect and she thinks that expecting people to be perfect is pushing people away from the environmental movement.

    It all sounds ok except when you remember that you being imperfect is owning a 6 cylinder car rather than a hybrid. Her being imperfect is an avalanche! Of course no interviewer is going to call her on the absurdity of her argument.

    Posted by allan on 2007 07 26 at 07:38 AM • permalink

  49. For a movement that persistently claims that it has the overwhelming majority of scientists on its side, I often wonder why Garbled Warbling has to rely on clowns like Al Gore, George Monbiot and Laurie David as its spokesbeings?

    Surely there must be a few intelligent, telegenic scientists in relevant fields (sorry, Professor Flannery, thats zero out of three for you) who can tell us why incandescent lightbulbs are bad?

    Posted by squawkbox on 2007 07 26 at 07:52 AM • permalink

  50. Isn’t all leather recycled?

    Posted by Hobbes on 2007 07 26 at 08:01 AM • permalink

  51. #47 lotocoti

    LOL!

    Never thought of it that way.  I may need a new watch.

    Posted by Hucbald on 2007 07 26 at 09:16 AM • permalink

  52. Maybe Laurie should move to Telluride.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 26 at 10:23 AM • permalink

  53. The more I hear from these AGW hypocrites and idiots, the more sense the old tradition of tar and feathering makes.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 26 at 10:55 AM • permalink

  54. Look people, you have to understand the difference between conservatism and liberalism.  Conservatives strive for the best results possible, cut the bull shit.  For liberals it’s all about appearing to do the right thing.  Regardless of whether any good comes from it.  Or even if bad things result.  “At least we tried”, that’s their mantra.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 26 at 12:20 PM • permalink

  55. One’s carbon footprint is directly proportional to one’s desire to be smug and self-righteous.

    For the record, I’m a Louis Armstrong and Billie Holliday fan.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 07 26 at 01:40 PM • permalink

  56. “I like ‘em big and stupid!”
    —Earth Girls Are Easy

    Posted by mojo on 2007 07 26 at 04:19 PM • permalink

  57. #55, RebeccaH,

    Ahhhhh, Billy Holliday.  If there is a better rendition of “Autumn in New York” than hers, I’ve yet to hear it.  That isn’t meant to disparage the many fine voices crooning that fine tune, but hers seems to catch the feel better than the others (even Ella’s! and that’s saying a lot).

    I’m also a big fan of Hoagy Carmichael.  I sit in My Old Rockin’ Chair, eating my Bread and Gravy, with Georgia on My Mind and Stardust floating before me.  Sing Me a Swing Song, Sing it Way Down Low at Daybreak and no longer Am I Blue.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 07 26 at 05:57 PM • permalink

  58. It’s reported that Larry, this summer, is sulking at Ted Danson and Mary Steenbergen’s place. LOL

    The neighbor is more than a little miffed about this.

    Which reminded me of this, part of an expose (albeit a gentle expose) the WaPo did of The Nature Conservancy a few years back (no longer available at WaPo’s website, but other parts are available here, here, here and here).

    Those celebrities up on Martha’s Vineyard sure got a good thing going with the environmentalists, don’t they. I agree with those who think GW will sink under the weight of its own silly celebrity proponents.

    Sounds like y’all might be interested in this series of jazz recordings.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 07 26 at 06:01 PM • permalink

  59. And don’t forget Skylark up there in the Ole Buttermilk Sky, Salty.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 07 26 at 06:04 PM • permalink

  60. #8 SwampWoman;

    (Gasp, staggering around with hand over where heart should be located if I possessed one.) You mean there are other people besides me that like the music from the 30s and 40s?

    Why? Doesn’t everybody?

    Posted by steveH on 2007 07 27 at 12:52 AM • permalink

  61. Who is this David hypocrite and why should I care what she thinks about anything?

    I gather she’s rich, stupid, and hypocritical.  There are plenty like her, and none of them are worth attention.

    Posted by MarkD on 2007 07 27 at 12:47 PM • permalink

  62. hell, even i, a tie-dyed-in-the-wool product of the early 70s, loves Duke, Basie, and Louis.

    Posted by dub kitty on 2007 07 28 at 09:50 PM • permalink

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