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MIKE ATTACKS
Michael Moore declares a fatwa against CNN:
I’m about to become your worst nightmare.
This ought to be fun.
UPDATE. If he isn’t careful, Rich Lowry may find himself added to Moore’s fatso-wa:
Michael Moore set out to make a movie attacking the American insurance industry and ended up attacking the American character. By the end of his movie SiCKO, his plaint is less about American resistance to government-run health care than its overarching rejection of collectivism. As Moore puts it, everywhere else it’s “a world of we,” but here a “world of me.”
His voice thus joins a vast, age-old chorus of left-wing bafflement and disillusion at American exceptionalism ...
Oh, Moore joined that chorus long ago. He used to lead it.
So, Michael Moore is expecting someone else to admit it if they’re wrong?
Dear Michael,
My name is Ash and I saw your movies “Bowling for Columbine” and “Fahrenheit 9/11”. In the interests of truth and fairness, I would appreciate it if you came clean about your factual errors.
I won’t waste your time rehashing your errors. You know what they are. What I want to do is help you come clean. Admit you were wrong. What is the shame in that? We all make mistakes. I know it’s hard to admit it when you’ve screwed up, but it’s also liberating and cathartic. It not only makes you a better person, it helps prevent you from screwing up again. Imagine how many people will be drawn to a man who says, “I made a mistake. I’m human. I’m sorry. I will make mistakes in the future - but I might not always correct them but you know that you should trust me.” Now, how hard would that really be?
From Ash.
So, lies, fabrications, slants, twists and distorts are perfectly acceptable to Michael Moore? As long as they’re not directed at him. How does that big weenie feel Michael? You bloated, talentless, idiotic, brain-dead sack of mouse droppings. Aside from your obvious expertise at dismantling chocolate cakes and screeching, you really have nothing worthwhile to add to society. If you aren’t man enough to take exactly what you dish out, get out of the kitchen. There is no more cake in there for you. Now go back to rooting in your hog trough and shut your cake hole.
I’m sure it won’t make anywhere near as big an impact as the fatwa he declared on jelly doughnuts.
Posted by Hank Reardon on 2007 07 15 at 02:43 AM • permalinkMichael Moore seems to be confused - just because people talk about his films doesn’t mean he has any influence. He hasn’t changed a single thing (last time I checked, people still have guns, we’re still in Iraq, and it doesn’t look like the US health system is implementing some radical changes); this vendetta against CNN is just the same.
Still, it’ll be nice to watch the liberals argue with each other.
http://www.moorewatch.com does a pretty good job of dismantling him.
Having seen that open letter, even though Moore is the size he is, I still wonder how he can be so full of shit!
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 07 15 at 02:54 AM • permalinkOh for the love of Pete!!!
Looking over Fatso’s site, I see a tab called How Can I Help the Soldiers?
At the bottom of that page are links to information on how to claim your conscientious objector status. As if I didn’t despise this Bin Laden lap-dog enough already?
What a frickin joke! Let’s see, I enlist in the US Army of my own free will, without coercion, know that the mission of the US Army is to support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America against all enemies foreign and domestic, which means I am willing to fight my nation’s wars, willing to kill and to possibly die. But I have a problem with this whole killing people thing, because it goes against my conscience. So I claim a conscientious objector status, because, you know, killing is wrong, man!
The way I see it, these numbnuts should be charged with fraudulent enlistment, kicked out of the service, forced to repay the US Army for all training, housing, wages, transportation, clothing and sundry items. Let them seek employment from Jaba the Moore.#9 blushes Wow, thanks Ash_
Twernt nothin!
All you have to do is work yourself up to a redeyed murderous rage, then turn your fingers loose on the keyboard.
Mine is a sophomoric effort though, you’d do better to write like Paco, Currency Lad, or some many, many of the others here.
But thank you nonetheless!I think Mike finally “gets it” on this whole intarwebz thing.
In the old days, before the Internet, you could get away with it. Your victims had no way to set the record straight, to show the viewers how you had misrepresented the truth. But now, we can post the truth—and back it up with evidence and facts—on the web, for all to see.
Those lines are going to haunt chub-chub for a looooong time.
#16 Years of fine rearing and finding that being sweet has more rewards than being mean.
Tonight I’m having rib eye steak smothered with chilli sauce and beer battered chips, also smothered with chilli sauce. Still debating whether to have spicy rice with it. What do you think?
Tonight’s chilli sauce is home made, so it is hot enough to burn through steel.
#12, Texas Bob:
Maybe someone in possition to enforce the law can be located that isn’t already compromised into capitulation to the enemy within.
US Code—Title 18—Crimes and Criminal Proceedure
Part 1: Crimes
Chapter 115: Treason,Sedition, and Subversive Activite
Sect: 2387Activities affecting armed forces generally
(a) Whoever, with intent to interfere with, impair, or influence the
loyalty, morale, or discipline of the military or naval forces of the
United States:
(1) advises, counsels, urges, or in any manner causes or
attempts to cause insubordination, disloyalty, mutiny, or refusal of
duty by any member of the military or naval forces of the United
States; or
(2) distributes or attempts to distribute any written or printed
matter which advises, counsels, or urges insubordination,
disloyalty, mutiny, or refusal of duty by any member of the military
or naval forces of the United States—Shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than ten
years, or both, and shall be ineligible for employment by the United
States or any department or agency thereof, for the five years next
following his conviction.
(b) For the purposes of this section, the term ``military or naval
forces of the United States’’ includes the Army of the United States,
the Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Coast Guard, Naval Reserve, Marine
Corps Reserve, and Coast Guard Reserve of the United States; and, when
any merchant vessel is commissioned in the Navy or is in the service of
the Army or the Navy, includes the master, officers, and crew of such
vessel.Then there’s Sect: 2388
Activities affecting armed forces during war
(a) Whoever, when the United States is at war, willfully makes or
conveys false reports or false statements with intent to interfere with
the operation or success of the military or naval forces of the United
States or to promote the success of its enemies; or
Whoever, when the United States is at war, willfully causes or
attempts to cause insubordination, disloyalty, mutiny, or refusal of
duty, in the military or naval forces of the United States, or willfully
obstructs the recruiting or enlistment service of the United States, to
the injury of the service or the United States, or attempts to do so—
Shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty
years, or both.
(b) If two or more persons conspire to violate subsection (a) of
this section and one or more such persons do any act to effect the
object of the conspiracy, each of the parties to such conspiracy shall
be punished as provided in said subsection (a).
(c) Whoever harbors or conceals any person who he knows, or has
reasonable grounds to believe or suspect, has committed, or is about to
commit, an offense under this section, shall be fined under this title
or imprisoned not more than ten years, or both.
(d) This section shall apply within the admiralty and maritime
jurisdiction of the United States, and on the high seas, as well as
within the United States.The first paragraph would seem to apply to the majority of our current DNC House and Senate, as well as most of the former marxists now known as “anti-war activists”
#18 Wouldn’t that be the most beautiful thing? But I’m afraid that any shyster lawyer with a pittance of intelligence (meaning anyone with an IQ one point above Sear’s) would claim that Puddin Stuff had merely pointed out avenues of escape that are legal and readily available.
I had a soldier apply for conscientious objector status while we were in Iraq. His request was approved and he was out of country in less than 24 hours. Frankly, I didn’t care. If he didn’t want to be there that badly, I didn’t need him anyway. He was a liability.
This dork had the audacity to write me about a month later for a reference. I obliged by telling his prospective employer that if cowardice, disloyalty, and the inability to be counted on when the going gets rough were the qualities sought, then this guy is your man. I never did get a thank you note from that guy.
Last I heard, his wife was divorcing him since he’d been having sex with men and was collecting kiddie porn. Don’t know if he ever got a job or not.“You’ve never thanked me or the Dixie Chicks or Al Gore for doing your job for you.”
Now theres an orgy scene from hell for you??
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 07 15 at 03:47 AM • permalinkJust consider yourselves lucky the squirrel sent to tape that liaison only got about 5 minutes in before taking his cyanide pill.
The waddling wombat is trying to claim the major US broadcasters were lined up cheering Iraq?
I’m on dial up at the moment so searching is a little difficult, but surely that’s easily dis-proven by a cursory search of the net?Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 07 15 at 03:56 AM • permalink#24, Texas Bob:
But I’m afraid that any shyster lawyer with a pittance of intelligence (meaning anyone with an IQ one point above Sear’s) would claim that Puddin Stuff had merely pointed out avenues of escape that are legal and readily available.
Unless it can be demonstrated that the information was provided to encourage soldiers to break their contract and obligations by misrepresenting themselves for purposes of avoiding their duty.
This would also apply to those “demonstrators” that encourage soldiers to desert to Canada. And, I’ve seen more than a few references to the act of “fragging” being suggested for soldiers on forums and blogs in the leftardic sphere of the innernet.
“I’m about to become your worst nightmare.”
I’ll bet he eats the entire staff of CNN.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 15 at 04:17 AM • permalink#34 Grimmy, yes those might be pursuable. I would love nothing better than seeing some justice dispensed on those traitorous pukes.
A few years back, my wife and I stopped in this little cafe in Kansas City for a coffee and where treated to a rant from this young lady with a pin cushion for a face talking loudly about how she’d like to kill the president. I informed her that I’d called the authorities who were enroute to collect her to discuss this matter with her. She started to say something, but stopped herself. I just stared at the older guy with her (who was obviously there for the possibility of young tail). He refused to make eye contact.
Anywho, my wife and I found the whole thing rather amusing while we enjoyed our coffee.
I thought I had a point with all of this? I don’t know. It was a pretty funny thing though. And no, I didn’t really phone anyone, but they didn’t stick around to find out.Mr Moore is indicative of a broader problem.
Celebrity Infallibility.
This occurs when “said” celebrity feels too much love and monetary offerings from the proletariat.
Having basic satisfactions fulfilled and sailing past all the wants of your average Joe “said” enters the realm of Celebrity Infallibility.
He can’t comprehend the possibility that “said’s” ideas are not universally worshipped.
The Israelites had their Golden Calf on Mount Sinai.
Michael Moore thinks he is the Fattened Calf of the 21st Century and can’t understand why we don’t worship at his hoof.
“Uh, does that mean Mike is going to front up to the all-you-can-eat buffet at the CNN canteen?”
If CNN has any sense, they’ll put deadbolts on the pantry door.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 15 at 05:14 AM • permalink“Mr Moore is indicative of a broader problem.”
There aren’t too many things in this galaxy that are broader than Mickey.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 15 at 05:17 AM • permalinkWurst Nightmare—MM’s superhero moniker.
Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 07 15 at 05:30 AM • permalinkYeah yeah Michael Moore is fat who cares. Better question is who died and made him God? Who is this son of a bitch to dictate who gives him good treatment or not? What gives him the wisdom to know what is “good policy?” Just because he knows how to focus a camera? And edit what people say into whatever cockamamie thing strikes his fancy? (Sputter sputter rant heart attack.) OK Fuck it. He’s fat as a pig.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 07 15 at 06:03 AM • permalink#37
I just stared at the older guy with her (who was obviously there for the possibility of young tail).
Lefties. Fuck ‘em.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 06:06 AM • permalink#71, TB:
The reason I started eating kimchee was so I didn’t have to smell it. Somehow, once a body took on the stink, the nose stopped smelling it.
Just make all your friends start eating kimchee too.
A beneficial side effect of kimchee eating is that it can build a force field that protects you from people you don’t want to be around. Just move up wind of them and walla! All gone.
It just occurred to me that Mike Moore would make a fine load of compost.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 06:15 AM • permalink#67 Wild nights in Korea? And you then skip to hangover cures? I suspect you’re leaving out a few details.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 06:21 AM • permalinkI spent 14 months worth of wild nights in Korea. Hangovers best cured by another bottle of OB beer.Something about the taste of formaldehyde…
Posted by dean martin on 2007 07 15 at 06:26 AM • permalink#76 There’s a beer in Thailand that’s rumored to have formaldehyde in it. Chiang, perhaps? I forget. The great thing about Asia is all those submissive Asian women. Or so an acquaintance told me. I asked her if she actually knew any Asian women. She didn’t.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 06:35 AM • permalink#79 I don’t know about “submissive” Asian women. I had one give me a good right cross to the jaw on two seperate occasions.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 07 15 at 06:43 AM • permalink#81, kae:
You, of course, are correct. But, I do try to make a habit of avoiding unnecessarily frenchified spelling of words. Or, maybe it’s I tend to spell em like they sound when I cant remember they’re spelled differently by those funky french folk and leave it as it was if the spell checker doesn’t catch it or offer an alternative that I recognize?I don’t think I deserved those pops. We weere just sitting there talking about something and pow, she’d pop me. Damn, those were good times. I’m getting all teary eyed just remembering.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 07 15 at 06:51 AM • permalink#83 I’m down about 15 plates and two electric heaters because of an Asian woman. What pisses me off is the insecurity of some women who need to find an excuse if they fall outside a man’s preferences.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 06:54 AM • permalink#90
As long as we don’t have to have any of them there whores-de-orvees.
You know what they say about whores-de-orvees. They go right to the hips.
(Hey, someone should pay me to make jokes this bad.)
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 07:00 AM • permalinkYou guys are treading dangerously close to crossing the offensive line of some of our esteemed Sisters-at-Arms. And therefore, I am offically distancing myself from these inappropriate comments.
I, on the other hand, being the contemporary man and all, have no problem getting along with the fairer sex. As long as the house is tidy, the laundry is folded, and dinner is served promptly. I say it’s equal across the board in this partnership.
TB:
This one isn’t Army issue, but she is a Cutie with a Shootie.
Nothing like a woman with an automatic weapon to remind a guy to be nice.
Do you think he washes himself with a rag tied to a stick?
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 07 15 at 07:30 AM • permalinkI’ve just started watching Ultimate Force, a drama series about the British SAS. So far, it seems good enough to recommend to you guys. I found it here, but don’t tell anyone I told you that.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 07:52 AM • permalink#114 “Oldtimers Disease.” Have you considered youth in Asia?
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 08:06 AM • permalink#120 Ugh. I didn’t think of that. (In case you missed my poor pun, I was referring to euthanasia.)
#121 What puzzle?
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 08:17 AM • permalink#27, #67. Please! Won’t someone think of the adults? Eeeew.
Posted by Chris Chittleborough on 2007 07 15 at 08:19 AM • permalink#123 Ash. Go to Port Philip Bay and take a photo. Same result and less stress.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 08:24 AM • permalinkHas anyone noticed that Moqtada Al Sadr has gone into “hiding” in Iran again and up pops Mike Moore. They’ve got to be the same dress size.
Hey that might go close to being CNN’s worst nightmare, Mike Moore reveals he and Al Sadr are one and the same.Posted by the nailgun on 2007 07 15 at 08:24 AM • permalinkMichael Moore is incredible. I mean, like, that is the worst written fanboi letter I’ve ever read. I wonder if he stamped his foot and blubbered, “I’ll show you!” as he hit “send”.
So he imagines this battle with CNN is going to be like the Clash of the Titans, does he? Godzilla vs. Mothra? Ant vs. Dalek? Tyson vs. Holyfield?
More like Elmer Fudd vs. The Wabbit.
All that needs to be done is to dip a few members of the CNN staff in chocolate sauce, awaken Michael the Omnivorous, point him in their direction, and make sure to get your fingers out of the way. After eating that much fatted head, Moore’s heart will surely burst. Two birds, one stone. Or, er, Two whales, one harpoon. Whatever.
Moore is beyond embarrassment, but he’s not beyond clever publicity stunts for his films. Note his careful choice of targets: CNN, known for collaborating with anti-Americans all over the world, whose staff and executives will overwhelmingly agree with him about health policy.
Posted by Chris Chittleborough on 2007 07 15 at 12:42 PM • permalinkMichael The Moor remains his blubbery self. Throw him in the ocean, and give his coordinatates to the Japanese. The resulting haul of blubber will keep their whaling fleet at dock for years, and give the whales a chance to build up their population.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 15 at 01:16 PM • permalinkMoore suffers from the same profound intellectual immaturity that affects most leftists. In a free society, the social fabric and the political superstructure, warts and all, are open to full public view and examination, to outsiders as well as to natives. The same is decidely not true for totalitarian states such as Cuba. So Moore, who can poke about U.S. institutions to his over-stressed heart’s content, sees weaknesses and draws conclusions (wrong-headed because of his prejudices, not because of a lack of data). But then he goes on to make comparisons with Cuba, in which Castro’s prison island is made to come out looking more favorable than the U.S. - and this is based not only on prejudices but on an undeniable absence of reliable data due to the regime’s armed reticence. Yet Moore believes that comparing the known with the not-truly-knowable is a perfect exercise in sound logic. Or perhaps worse, he knows his approach is ludicrous, but is aware that his intended audience is too blinded by their sympathetic ideological tendencies to question his hypothesis. In which case, he is not only intellectually immature, but also dishonest and manipulative - and, dare I say it, evil.
By the end of his movie SiCKO, his plaint is less about American resistance to government-run health care than its overarching rejection of collectivism. As Moore puts it, everywhere else it’s “a world of we,” but here a “world of me.”
Maybe Moore needs to reread the history of Communism with special focus on collective farms and the Great Leap Forward. Idiot.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 15 at 01:38 PM • permalinkClears the brain of fumes and fugue, but wrecks havoc on the innards.
So you wind up worshipping the porcelain altar all day anyway. The only diff is which way you’re facing…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 15 at 02:35 PM • permalink#104 Tex!
Here you are, I found it!
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.
Terry had married a woman from England, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
Jimmie had married a woman from New Zealand. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a landscaper.
#100 Grimmy
After watching that vid I have this strange desire to be reincarnated as a thigh holster.
Posted by Guardian_Angel on 2007 07 15 at 07:54 PM • permalinkThe only thing that surpasses my modesty is my humbleness. Both of which I have in an abnormally large abundance, but good manners prevent me from boasting.
O/T, but this reminds me of a rule of thumb concerning Texicans that I learned as wee lad:
“If bullshit was white, then Texans could snow ski without going to the mountains.”
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 15 at 10:00 PM • permalinkHe [Moore] is practically the Leni Riefenstahl of socialism.
It’s become an iron rule of the Internet that invoking Nazis to bolster your argument is a sign that your argument is weak and you are desperate.
The article had some interesting things to say, but frankly statements like the above take away the impact rather than add to them.
It’s time to go on a Hitler diet, starting now.
mehaul:
It’s not that I’m trying to push up my post count to the magic 100k mark or any such, really… but I have to disagree with you, somewhat at post #148.
In fact, I am sufficient reminder that idiots exist. Moore is beyond idiocy and well into destructive evil. His 9/11 conspiracy mockumentary was a blatant piece of enemy propaganda. He’s a traitor during time of war.
everywhere else it’s “a world of we,” but here a “world of me.”
thus the blind, pig-ignorant (no offence to pigs), glorification of collectivist societies once again. Collectivism isn’t that great. Collectivism isn’t any more “good” or “evil” than individualism. Some problems with collectivist societies:
* rampant corruption and institutionalised nepotism
* less able to assimilate outsiders
* more racism (a strong sense of “us” seems to inevitably lead to a strong awareness of “them”, ie those people who are not in your in-group)This simplistic view of America as the ultra-individualist, merciless nirvana of capitalism just isnt true. Besides, notice any differences in prosperity and freedom between American and the “everywhere else”? Individualist culture has an upside.
Posted by daddy dave on 2007 07 16 at 07:21 AM • permalinkGrimmy.
I don’t think you’re proof of idiocy and I would rather trust you with $100 million in film grants and a free society to exploit.
And you get to kiss the jaapie Theron.
But wouldn’t judging Moore as a traitor in a court of law re energise the ageing anti McCarthy brigade and make those empty vessels sound even louder?
Congratulations on reaching your ton.
#151, mehaul:
I wouldn’t trust me to make such a film, lol.
The empty vessels, you mean the marxist, neomarxist, anarchist, and all the other istists that gave their loyalty to and adhered to our enemy during WW2 and the cold war? They should have been dealt with long ago. Let em sound off, makes it easier to find em.
From: The law offices of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe
To: Mr. John Doe, aka “Texas Bob”Dear Sir:
You are hereby advised that our office intends to take action against you in civil court for the offense of inflicting pain and suffering against our client, Jane Doe (no relation), also known as “MissM,” specifically, to wit:
Causing her to laugh so hard at your imaginary titles for one Michael Moore, filmmaker, specifically:
“the Bloated Bandito
the Gourmet Gladiator
the Rotund Ranger
the All-you-can-eat Assasin
Kebab the Impaler
Tubby the Teutonic Table Trawler”:that she has ceased to eat, nor even breathe, since your post on a Web log hosted by one Tim Blair. Medical professionals are seriously concerned—to date, they have never encountered such a case of serious laughter as this.
We can conduct a discussion on the merits of settlement, versus a trial, at your leisure.
Sincerely,
................................
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