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MAYOR BOJO
London changes:
Boris Johnson last night notched up the Tories’ greatest electoral success since John Major’s surprise victory in the 1992 general election when he unseated Ken Livingstone as mayor of London.
Ecstatic Conservatives cheered at London’s City Hall, at the end of a count lasting more than 15 hours, as the man who had been dismissed as the Bertie Wooster of British politics took charge of one of the biggest political offices in Britain.
Smaller offices also changed:
Mr Johnson’s win followed the trend of local elections results across England and Wales, which saw support for Labour slump dramatically and a surge in popularity for the Tories.
It’s Labor’s worst result in four decades. Boris had celebrity assistance, writes Craig Brown:
The day of the mayoral election, The Guardian ran a piece headed “Don’t choose the clown!” in which a raggle-taggle collection of 34 different people - among them Vivienne Westwood, Bianca Jagger and Alan Rickman - queued up to say, in an oddly self-congratulatory way, just why they wouldn’t be voting for Boris Johnson.
It seemed that Boris’s joke-telling skills were the principal reason. “I’m happier with giving Ken another chance than I ever would be letting a joker like Johnson in,” said someone called Ty, billed as a hip-hop artist ...
Perversely, some comedians - Arabella Weir, David Mitchell - chose to denounce Boris for being a comedian. “Lovely to see other comedians getting work, but four years is a bit long for a comedy routine,” declared Mitchell, without saying why.
Strange people. Brown concludes with:
As GK Chesterton once pointed out, the opposite of funny is not serious: the opposite of funny is not funny.
UPDATE. A reader calls to say that the 1.00pm news on Radio National reported a mayoral victory to Boris Yeltsin.
The Guardian ran a piece headed “Don’t choose the clown!” in which a raggle-taggle collection of 34 different people - among them Vivienne Westwood, Bianca Jagger and Alan Rickman - queued up to say, in an oddly self-congratulatory way, just why they wouldn’t be voting for Boris Johnson.
B-but what did Posh, Becks and Jordan have to say?
Dear Alan Rickman,
“Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!”
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 05 02 at 11:02 PM • permalinkJoke’s on them, I guess. It takes more than snarky egomania to run things.
Posted by Tex Lovera on 2008 05 02 at 11:08 PM • permalinkEcstatic Conservatives cheered at London’s City Hall, at the end of a count lasting more than 15 hours, as the man who had been dismissed as the Bertie Wooster of British politics took charge of one of the biggest political offices in Britain.
“Well, Jeeves, it seems that we’ve purged London of its Bolshevik mayor.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Time to restore a proper appreciation for the traditions that made England a - what’s the word, Jeeves? Something like ‘demitasse’”.
“I believe, sir, you are referring to a line from William Shakespeare’s Richard II: ‘This other Eden, demi-paradise/This fortress built by Nature for herself/ Against infection and the hand of war…’”
“Yes, that’s it. What would you say, Jeeves, to getting in the spirit of things by donning knee-breeches, a swallow-tail coat and powdered wig?”
“No, sir.”
“It would be the feudal thing to do.”
“I’m afraid, sir, that it would be perceived, at best, as little more than a show of sartorial eccentricity, and at worst, a move toward recidivist reaction.”
“Ah! Well, I suppose ‘No Popery’ is simply not on, then.”
“I fear such a program would be needlessly divisive, sir.”
“What about all these mussulmen? I mean to say, it’s a bit unnerving to be strolling about this other Eden, this demi-paradise, and congratulating oneself on the singular good fortune of having been born in Merry England, only to round the corner and get run over by some cove in a turban roaring by on a motorcycle. We shall have to, er, take prompt steps through the proper channels, I daresay.”
“Undoubtedly, sir.”
One remembers when Bianca Jagger bravely endorsed the Sandinistas as well…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 05 02 at 11:26 PM • permalink#7 excellent work, pacomeister. have you got the boxed set of the hugh laurie/stephen fry wooster/jeeves? it’s a cracker
as to BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! BORIS! all i can say is yah boo sucks to red ken & all the luvvies who sailed in him
#7 Paco, you rule!
I had to call the missus (a Wodehouse fan nonpareil) from the other room just to enjoy the prose.
Well done, old bean.
Separately, Country/Western singers reflect that US & Aussie soldiers service is valued but who tells the British soldier he/she is revered? The Brit celeb/creeps seem unrelentingly anti-military and it must wear on a young squadie!
Does anyone know who might sing in the UK to keep morale up?
A reader calls to say that the 1.00pm news on Radio National reported a mayoral victory to Boris Yeltsin.
Still less of a Commie than Red Ken.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2008 05 03 at 12:04 AM • permalink#12
Flight from Labour (or a “lurch to the right” as our taxpayer-funded media generally refer to it) is always good news, but are the British Conservatives really up to the job?
That we even should have to ask this question of the Party of Churchill and Thatcher is kind of pathetic.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2008 05 03 at 12:16 AM • permalink#12 - “but are the British Conservatives really up to the job?”
Irrelevant. Modern Britain is governed from Brussels. Don’t let the currency fool you - Britain has not been a sovereign nation for over a decade, as Christopher Booker (in The Telegraph) has been pointing out, in vain, for years.
Posted by walterplinge on 2008 05 03 at 12:20 AM • permalinkbut are the British Conservatives really up to the job?
Crikey. Britain has sported a limp dick for more than decade, you can’t expect to have the tumesence of an elephant’s cock after the first stirring. All in good time my friend. Toodle pip!
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 05 03 at 01:01 AM • permalink#14 Took USA time to get on its own two feet and away from Mother England. Some still long for England to regain her colonies.
Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 03 at 01:10 AM • permalink#17
Took USA time to get on its own two feet and away from Mother England. Some still long for England to regain her colonies.
I’d like to see her regain her cojones.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2008 05 03 at 01:15 AM • permalinkWhat could be better than Paco and Wodehouse? Simply smashing old bean.
Posted by tabitharuth on 2008 05 03 at 01:18 AM • permalinkLooks like Australia was sailing against the wind of change when it elected Rudd. France, Germany, Canada, Italy and now Britain have shifted right. NZ too may soon ditch Mr Helen Clark according to some pundits.
Seems to recall being told by the left that Australia under Howard was out of step with the rest of the world when these countries had leftist governments.
#21 Young Oz bought the spin of Kev07. Seems rest of the world has waken up to the left.
Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 03 at 02:40 AM • permalink#21, Contrail
Just goes to show - Oz leads the way!
Before too long “young Oz” will (once again) wake up to the left and ditch the Rudd Government (hopefully before too much damage is done). Failing a viable alternative - the Greens are really past their use-by date - it will elect a conservative Government, but this time one led by Malcolm Turnbull.
#29 Mugabe is above criticism by Rickman, Westwood, et all and the Guardian to them that would be racism.
Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 03 at 04:46 AM • permalinkO/T
Has Kevvie implemented his Kev07 Policies in Cuba?Cuba puts first computers on sale to the public
Computers have been sold on Cuba’s black market for years — at prices comparable to the US$780 (euro505) now seen in the store. But now that computers are available legally, some consumers expect black market prices to fall.
The radio report said that the computers would be for sale for the equivalent of about $800; keeping in mind that the monthly earnings for average Cubans is $20.
Many people were just looking at the computers through the shop windows.
They won’t have the internet. It’s illegal.
Hey, all the leftards who think that Cuba and Venezuela and so on are just paradise, try living there as a Joe Ordinary Citizen.
Turnbull is an unreformed trendy who’ll ditch ‘the conservative cause’ as soon as he has no further use for it, while Nelson has never seen a bandwagon he didn’t want to jump on.
Can you imagine the lather that the luvvies would work themselves into over Mal Brough? Electoral gold! That’s why they won’t let him near the indigenous ‘war cabinet,’ they don’t want to raise his profile.
But then I’d sooner have Rob Brough than Nelson.
#39- I reckon Julie Bishop has the potential to be an antipodean Iron Lady, but she needs some grooming from this savvy spinmeister and switched-on svengali to make the nut.
Nelson must sit down to piss, he’s wetter than a frogs foreskin and the Canberra bureau of the ABC has been harder on our secretion-swallowing PM and his pilot-fish and remora like retinue of retards; Turnbull is a North Shore luvvie out of central casting and probably belongs with this equally well-adjusted and reality-aware agitators moreso than any “conservative” group, but then again if he joined his fellows he’d be about as likely of scoring the top job as I have of being introduced to a Big Brother contestant and not setting them on fire.
“We apologise for our earlier error. It was of course Boris Karloff who won the mayoral election…”
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 05 03 at 07:15 AM • permalinkAnd now we see the folloy of Labor’s attempt to wrest control of the Brisbane Mayoralty from conservative “Can Do” Campbell Newman- they should have pre-selected this candidate, who also has the ear of Fearless Leader.
#44- Synchronicity* at work, or feeble minds think alike.
*If of course you have a live rat in your head rather than a functioning brain, like marathon horizontal folk-dancer Gordie.
#21 - We have fallen victim to another type of Drones Club.
For lefties, greenies, warmies and islamies, it was a very not funny thing at all; no sir, not all!
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 03 at 08:06 AM • permalink#12 At present, no, nopt if you mean actually doing something when they form a government. Cameron & co are wonkier than “New Labour”.
I was in London visiting my socialist sister just after Boris announced his candidacy. I thought it was great that he was running but everyone laughed that he didn’t have a dog’s chance.
Oh frabjous day, callooh-callay.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 03 at 08:21 AM • permalink[url=http://www.stopboris.org]http://www.stopboris.org[/url]
Our campaign has failed. We did our best, but it wasn’t good enough to compete with Lynton Crosby and the massed ranks of the right-wing press.
The next four years will be very sad years for our great city.
Oh my God!
Call Professor Quatermass.
The archfiend Lynton Crosby has summoned the dark god Ba’al to ravage the city of London.
Lynton Crosby ... the English Karl Rove.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 03 at 08:32 AM • permalinkI’ve never understood the celebrity-factor when it comes to politics.
I mean, Allan Rickman is a wonderful actor whereas Bianca Jagger is solely known to be another ex-wife of Mick, but what does that have to do with anything regarding their political views?You see the same thing in the US when the Dems trawls Hollywood to get as many celebs as possible to endorse the hopeful candidates. Who gives a f*ck whether Angelina Jolie or George Clooney endorses one candidate or the other?
Sure, it gets the celebs a bit of extra airtime, but do the spin-doctors behind the politicians really think that people are daft enough to think the celeb-factor will haul in enough votes to make a difference? Apparently, which should make one sad.
The Grauniad et al are probably in a state of shock, stunned that the populace would dispatch the much-beloved Red Ken to the tumbrels.
I spent 9 months in London not long after Maggie gave him the boot first time round, and whilst the press lavished praise on him like spittle on a well polished toecap, everyone I met loathed him. He was as welcome as prawn shells in the hubcaps.
I am amazed though that Boris managed to scrape up enough votes to overcome the carefully constructed Ken Coalition of ethnic rent-seekers, media mudflaps, bone-idle public servants, unreconstructed socialist luddites, anarchists, lesbian interpretative dance collectives, drug addled squatters and green self-flagellators.
Brown is fucked because the horny-handed, blue collar “battlers” - the old core of the labour party - have simply decided to not turn up on election day to vote for his ilk anymore. They won’t vote Tory, but not voting at all is what will kill Brown. All he has left attached to him are the scum of the middle class - the putrescent giblets of the left.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 05 03 at 09:34 AM • permalink#6 RebeccaH
Sucks to be celebrities, who thought they knew what the people would say.
I don’t know that it sucks to be a celebrity—I’d be lying if I said I’d hate to have more money than I could spend in my life and be able to sleep with just about anybody I liked—but it certainly does suck to have to listen to them.
Posted by Mambo Bananapatch on 2008 05 03 at 10:59 AM • permalinkUbique—I don’t think the four tanks and two platoons of Territorials the Brits have left after Brown’s budget cuts can cover all those intersections.
And the opposite of funny pretty much IS modern comedy…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 05 03 at 03:11 PM • permalink#64 Thanks Ross. A fine example of the Anglosphere working in harmony.
HOHO BOJO MOJO !
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 03 at 05:00 PM • permalinkCelebrities suffer from the delusion that public prominence equals wisdom, and the understanding that will solve all the problems of the world.
As for Galloway - victim of a Malkovitch Malediction, perhaps?Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 05 03 at 07:27 PM • permalinkSome of the most successful politicians are ambiguous in their political beliefs. They will go to the party who they think offers the best career opportunities. Turnbull is in that category, Nelson too and probably Rudd.
When Gough Whitlam told the other barristers at his chambers in Sydney he was going into politics, the first question they asked was “which party?” Despite the Labor myth, Whitlam was not a true believer until he decided to enter politics. He saw Labor as the best career path because they were mongrel lot of rusted-on commies and barbaric unionists who couldn’t eat with a knife and fork. The Libs, on the other hand, was overrun with people like him - rich, educated and erudite.
Got that from Whitlam’s barristers clerk when I worked for him (the clerk) in 1967. .
I’d say the Libs dodged a bullet there myself.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 05 03 at 09:02 PM • permalinkThe Libs actually have a good chance of attracting some serious talent at the moment. For someone contemplating a political career, the odds favour a cabinet position in a Liberal Government for someone with ambition and talent.
Labor on the other hand has all its cabinet ministers for the next decade or two sitting in parliament now. Even an election loss won’t prise all these unionists and former staffers from their safe seats. The perks are too good.
#78 So what, then , makes a good politician?
Posted by carpefraise on 2008 05 04 at 04:44 AM • permalink#80
Someone who gives people hope of a better future.Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 04 at 05:01 AM • permalink#82
People with hope work for a better future.
National socialists provide illusions that make people lose hope. While a good politician provides inspiration.Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 04 at 05:15 AM • permalinkYes, fair enough. They’d still have to be able to deliver more.
Like work for the good/need/wants of their electorate.
It’s not enough to inspire hope.
They have to deliver.I had a call yesterday from some poll mob, asking, among other things, about my satisfaction with Kevin Rudd. (What I thought about China, Japan, Indonesia, India and their place in Australia’s future business/security, etc.)
The interviewer said to me “So, you’re not very happy with his performance so far.”
I replied “He hasn’t done anything except perform.”
There’s no hope there.
His words after the most recent death in Afghanistan were particularly annoying. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just me that they annoyed.Link.
I wonder how the people who voted for Kevin07 are feeling now.
Disillusioned? Or are they really impressed by the “$orry” and other performances?Unfortunately, I think they are impressed by the smoke and mirrors.
#78 Well, not someone who sniffs seats (Buswell in WA) or does media conferences in Speedoes (Debnam in NSW, who lost the unloseable election by doing so).
Ideally, it is an intelligent manager who believes what he or she is doing is best for the country as a whole and not some sectional interest.
Realistically, it is someone who wants power over wealth (otherwise you end up with the corrupt NSW government) and wise enough to known that to retain power, you have to manage well and not get too far in front of or behind the people. Great leadership is always being slightly in front, because you then control the direction things are moving.
#84
With inspiration comes investment, private as well as public, which work for the good/need/wants of their electorate.
Howard started to inspire but maybe got tired. MSM sucks life out of people. Rudd is just a wind-up toy, from which annoyance comes out. Epstein and Secord provide the smoke and mirrors. I tend to ignore the annoyance, heard it all before from other Laborites.Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 04 at 06:16 AM • permalink#86
MSM only reports some of the stories. Those you quote were ones the MSM liked. The Labor stories tend to get buried.Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 04 at 06:34 AM • permalink
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Like Ty hip-hop artist might say red sauce Ken Livingstone not so hip so hoped out. HamAss will not be pleased.