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“MAY ALLAH PLUCK THEIR EYES OUT QUICKLY”

As is their wont, Farouk and Achmed discuss matters philosophical.

Posted by Tim B. on 07/05/2007 at 12:18 PM
  1. I must have missed sometheing: what happened to Ali? Did he become a Shahid?

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 05 at 12:59 PM • permalink

  2. Spiny

    Think ‘they’ named him after a street, now. No more Ali’s for him.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 07 05 at 01:13 PM • permalink

  3. Posted on another thread, but this is for real, people. Watch your little ones, in pools.

    Girl Seriously Injured in Swimming Pool Mishap as Drain Pump Sucks Out Her Intestines

    Fox News

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 07 05 at 01:27 PM • permalink

  4. That was pretty damn entertaining. I have added her site to my favs. and will register when time is a little less on the wing.

    Posted by Wacko on 2007 07 05 at 03:11 PM • permalink

  5. Allah the Merciful pluck out the eyes of those who do not embrace jihad.  This Allah alleGORY sounds very evil to me, how many millions of barbaric acts have taken place in the name this cheerless excuse for a Deity.  Looks like Islam has the franchise on heinous imbecility.

    Posted by Howzat on 2007 07 05 at 06:41 PM • permalink

  6. Whoops I de-nutted Jules in referring to him as “her”.
    I thought I read Julie (in my defence).
    I just now Goohgled to find to my horror I had altered his gender without permission.
    How embarrasing. I constantly do this to people online ... aaaah!

    Posted by Wacko on 2007 07 05 at 06:51 PM • permalink

  7. Wacko:

    Yeah, Jules is a keeper. He’s one of the few, like our own Mr Tim, who’s specifically not meant to be included when I’m ranting on about how journalists are treasonous scum.

    If you dig back into his archives a few months, you’ll find his postings on his time as an embed with a mechanized unit in opening phase of the war. Good reading.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 05 at 07:03 PM • permalink

  8. #7 Grimmy: I second those comments about Jules’ reporting from the war zone. Excellent stuff. I visit his site every day. I’d comment there more often, but I have the devil of a time with the log-in process; just can’t get my password to work.

    Posted by paco on 2007 07 05 at 07:20 PM • permalink

  9. #8, paco:

    I got out of the habit of commenting there due to alphie fatigue.

    Traitors and enemy sympathizers really do get under my skin. I so resent the fact that we must still refrain from rendering them according to law and tradition that it is nearly impossible for me to “play nice” with them.

    RebeccaH, El Cid and Saltydog do a good job of containment. No need for me to risk loosing it and spewing my hatred and desire to see him and all his filthy ilk dangling lifeless from gibbets.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 05 at 07:27 PM • permalink

  10. Thanks Grimmy. Will take your recommendation and do some reading when I am recovering from my Friday night hangover tomorrow morning early.

    I have now read a grand total of two pieces of Jules’ work up to now.

    Have been reading Tim’s stuff,( hard copy only), for a long while though. I get my kids to read his work when I reckon they need a dose of reality ,(and a laugh).

    Anecdote: My 15 year old son says earnestly to me last night that his 16 year old sister “believes all that global warming garbage you know Dad.” He went on ” Our teachers never stop ranting about it…” I said to him “look mate take the pragmatic approach. Don’t write what you believe - write what they want to hear or you’ll get low marks. He said ..“too late Dad. I wrote an essay saying that the global warming thing was unproven and that there was a lot of people who didn’t believe it, and I got a lousy mark for it .”
    ” For this I’ll let you off…” and I said to him ” Write what they want to hear mate”. ” Just don’t believe a word of it.”
    ;) It’s Y2K revisited !”

    Posted by Wacko on 2007 07 05 at 07:31 PM • permalink

  11. Wacko:

    It’s almost like having to teach your youngins how to survive after a hostile force has conquered your country, isn’t it?

    Keep the faith but keep your head down and your mouth shut.

    That seems to be the rule for survival in school these days.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 05 at 07:38 PM • permalink

  12. O/T but Farouk and Achmed wouldnt approve of this either.
    “A locally-made TV drama discusses the trend of wealthy Saudi women having affairs with their male drivers. A friend here told me that he had attended a lesbian party in Jeddah with hundreds of women, cocaine, hashish, strippers and techno music.”

    Its from an article by Ant Lowenstein in the gruinaid so you know it must be true.

    Hes also been to Iran lately as well.
    “For many westerners, the concept of Islam at the heart of a prosperous nation is too much to bear. It’s a sad indictment of many post 9/11 mindsets. “

    Ant loooves them…

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 07 05 at 07:39 PM • permalink

  13. #9: You mean, like these arsewipes?

    Posted by paco on 2007 07 05 at 07:58 PM • permalink

  14. Farouk: Achmed, I curse the day we married your sister.

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 07 05 at 08:11 PM • permalink

  15. Dear Colonel

    paging 1.618… paging 1.618…

    I woke up with inspiration. No puffy shirt but I think you’ll like it.

    Colonel, what talent! It even looks like me but with shorter hair style and I’m wearing Tim B’s puffy pirate shirt for him as he must have pulled me from overboard! Tim Blair looks hot even without the tandoori tan!

    Paco, that’s so funny! TY ty colonel xxx

    Tim Blair, there’s a present for you
    1.618

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 07 05 at 08:18 PM • permalink

  16. Critt, is definitely the real deal. As in, when an American tank fired on that hotel in Baghdad. Believe Critt, said it returned fire, because Critt, was there.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 07 05 at 08:53 PM • permalink

  17. Besides, Crittenden’s heritage is Aussie.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 07 05 at 08:55 PM • permalink

  18. 13 paco

    I don’t think the Doctor’s got all the shrapnel outta that lady. Run her by a fridge, and I bet she sticks. Head first.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 07 05 at 09:01 PM • permalink

  19. My favorite Farouk and Achmed dialogue:

    Farouk: OK, now which do I attach now, the red wire or the black one?

    Achmed: What have you done? It’s already armed! For the love of Allah, don’t touch the red one!

    Farouk: You mean this one?

    Bomb: BLAMMO

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 07 05 at 09:18 PM • permalink

  20. #9, Grimmy, it’s hard not to respond to Alphie.  He’s so single-minded, he makes it too easy to take him apart, and he never, never gets it.  But you’re wise to avoid him, as I should.  The very worst thing you can do to a troll is pretend they aren’t there.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 07 05 at 09:41 PM • permalink

  21. I shot the shareef
    But I did not shoot the mufti

    Posted by Evil Pundit on 2007 07 05 at 09:48 PM • permalink

  22. As Theo Spark has stated

    Isn’t this why we invented MOAB?

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 07 05 at 10:02 PM • permalink

  23. Did someone say alphie?

    Cognitive think and reason scale, from top, to bottom.

    Moron
    Imbecile
    Idiot
    Invertebrate
    Amoeba
    alphie

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 07 05 at 10:20 PM • permalink

  24. How about some border security? Anybody else think that might be a good place to start with respect to reforming immigration policy? How about you guys at the Wall Street Journal? Are stories like this irrelevant, i.e., merely “anecdotal”, or do you just plain not give a damn?

    Posted by paco on 2007 07 05 at 10:30 PM • permalink

  25. paco:

    You know full well that it is now illegal to the point of imprisonment for our border guards to even attempt to do their jobs.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 05 at 11:53 PM • permalink

  26. #25 Grimmy: My revolutionary idea is to make it legal for border guards to do their job.

    Posted by paco on 2007 07 06 at 12:22 AM • permalink

  27. paco:

    Yeah, right. Like that has a chance. I mean, that makes just about as much sense as simply enforcing the laws already on the books concerning those who break the law by entering illegally.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 06 at 12:28 AM • permalink

  28. #23 El Cid

    Did someone say alphie?

    Cognitive think and reason scale, from top, to bottom.

    Moron
    Imbecile
    Idiot
    Invertebrate
    Amoeba
    alphie

    You do those others a disservice: they cannot help their intellectual inadequacies, alpee’s is self-inflicted.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 06 at 03:42 AM • permalink

  29. You left out “pond scum”.

    One level above the Alphtard.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 06 at 04:39 AM • permalink

  30. Actually I think pond scum should be above the amoeba…

    I agree with you, RebeccaH, that the only thing that works is to starve them of attention.  Like you, I sometimes can’t resist, but the ‘tard doesn’t ever reply to me—perhaps because I only speak about him, not to him, or perhaps because I try to use a few slightly big words.  Honestly I think I stumped him the other day with “fathom.”  Or maybe it was “implication.”

    On a somewhat more serious note, you made a (good) comment to alphie over at Jules’s place the other day and added “if you’re a collection of jihadis, the point still applies.”

    I wonder if that might be the case.  I assume you were referring to the part of the al Queda instruction manual that instructed junior jihadis to infiltrate chat rooms and the like.  As I recall the instructions were to use an American-sounding name, not mention world affairs, but talk about how terrible the West is as part of trying to demoralize us.

    It’s easy to see patterns when they aren’t there, but I noticed two or three of these perpetually clueless commenters recently bringing up our past treatment of Native Americans, referred to of course as genocide, within a day of each other, in threads on conservative blogs where the topic was out of context.  I think it was “elvis” and “copithorne” and maybe “alphie” as well. 

    This theory that they are operatives would explain why they don’t get certain references and certain words, and why they seem to thrive on negative attention.

    Of course those could also be symptoms of pure idiocy.  As discussed.

    Posted by sarah rolph on 2007 07 06 at 08:40 AM • permalink

  31. #30, Sarah, someone else had mentioned that alphie might be a collection of jihadi homeboys faithfully vandalizing the net, and I merely followed up.  alphie seems like a personality disordered loner most of the time, but sometimes he sounds almost intelligent, and that makes me suspect that “he” is really “them”.  Either that, or he’s got multiple personalities.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 07 06 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  32. rebeccaH—or the court has succeeded in temporarily forcing him back on his meds.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 07 at 12:44 PM • permalink

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