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MAJOR SPEECH PREDICTED

An email arrives from johnkerry.com:

Dear Friend,

Later today, I will deliver a major speech on the war in Iraq.

It asks a hard and essential question: how do we bring our troops home within a reasonable and responsible timeframe, while achieving what needs to be achieved in Iraq?

One thing is certain. It isn’t by continuing to pursue the Bush administration’s “stay for as long as it takes” rhetoric.

Pretentious blowhard. If “achieving what needs to be achieved in Iraq” is key, how does one avoid the requirement to “stay for as long as it takes”?

Posted by Tim B. on 10/26/2005 at 12:46 PM
  1. It’s cliche combination, the family game everybody can play.

    Kerry just adds degrees of difficulty in always speaking with historical sound in mind.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2005 10 26 at 01:59 PM • permalink

  2. But I thought he “could do better” and a had “secret plan”? At least he claimed so during the election campaign. Why does he now have to ask “a hard and essential question”???

    What? Was he lying?

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2005 10 26 at 02:02 PM • permalink

  3. He’s only going to stay for as long as it takes to achieve what needs to be achieved.  Isn’t that obvious?

    Posted by robert speirs on 2005 10 26 at 02:14 PM • permalink

  4. Why, with nuanced thinking of course.

    Jeebus - does Kerry have to explain all this to you again? Now go buy some ketchup.

    Posted by dc981924 on 2005 10 26 at 02:24 PM • permalink

  5. At first, the nuance escaped me, but I think I understand what he’s saying now.  To paraphrase, “How do we as democrats do the right thing, which is what the Bush administration is doing right now, but somehow look like we’re doing something more enlightened and different?  There is only one way - by using different rhetoric saying the same thing and hoping no one catches on to us.”

    Posted by debo.v2 on 2005 10 26 at 02:27 PM • permalink

  6. Jeez, does this guy still think he counts for something?  I’d rather listen to a bunch of monkeys farting, myself.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 10 26 at 02:41 PM • permalink

  7. Sheesh!, what an ass-clown.

    It 36 months until the next exlection and he’s already started campaigning.

    Sad thing is he doesn’t realize he’s already lost, again.

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2005 10 26 at 03:27 PM • permalink

  8. Kerry is going to finally unveil his secret plan for ending the war in Iraq. The only reason we haven’t heard it since it was announced last summer is him deciding if he’s for it or against it. I expect it will be something along the lines of turning Iraq over to Zarqawi and running like hell. That’s the same plan he used on the South Vietnamese. The swimmer is wired up so that at appropriate times an electrical shock will prompt him to say “I (hic) agree”!

    Posted by Abu Qa'Qa on 2005 10 26 at 03:34 PM • permalink

  9. But I thought he “could do better” and a had “secret plan”? At least he claimed so during the election campaign.

    Well yes, he did.  Why didn’t he tell us what it was? Because it was secret!  It wouldn’t have been a secret plan if he told us.  Geesh.

    And you know what else?  It would have worked.  Fool proof.  And if he had implemented it (Secret Plan Magic Hat), everything would have become Ok.  Everything.  Israel/Palestine.  Iraq.  Al Queda.  Islamist terrorism.  The Dutch.  Ok, not the Dutch, but everything else.

    Oh, but nooooooo.  The American people wouldn’t vote for him.  They didn’t want him enough to be President.  So Secret Plan Magic Hat stays in the drawer.  And we’re all the worse off for it.

    Posted by wronwright on 2005 10 26 at 03:42 PM • permalink

  10. "Later today, I will deliver a major speech on the war in Iraq” - John Kerry

    “And no one will be listening” - Paco

    Posted by paco on 2005 10 26 at 04:08 PM • permalink

  11. If John Kerry were a cat, he would have licked his ass before he didn’t. Once can readily imagine that Kerry’s basic concept is to have the UN set up a conference (including Iran, Syria’s Moron-in-Chief, representatives of the Ba’athists and Al Qaida, etc); the conference will turn control over to some UN-mandated coalition government; and when the outcome is a country taken over by bloody lunatics (who will get to send an ambassador to the UN), Kerry and the rest will blame Bush et al for creating a mess that Kerry’s ilk couldn’t undo. Neat.

    Posted by IraOver on 2005 10 26 at 04:46 PM • permalink

  12. Here’s a link to the Speech ("Excerpts of remarks as prepared for delivery")

    In summary:
    1) Everything Bush did was wrong and an inexcusable example of his and the administration’s ignorance, arrogance duplicity and incompetence.  Anything wrong Kerry did was because of the lies he was told by Bush Administration. (This is approx half the speech.)
    2) Most of the great things we could have done before aren’t on the table anymore (see #1)
    3) We should start bringing troops home after December elections and have bulk of them out of Iraq by end of next year
    4) A sector by sector schedule of training and turnover of security responsibilities should be published (interestingly, Kerry doesn’t ask for a plan to be developed, just published)
    5) We should call a conference with Iraq’s neighbors and implement something that will bring the parties in Iraq to political compromise.

    The first 4 points are predictable, standard talking points.  The last one has me kind of stumped—details (such as they are) are in the section labeled “We Need a Regional Security Agreement”.  Not sure, but it seems to suggest that Kerry does not think the Iraqi’s are doing an adequate job of hammering out their own political compromises so we need to get a club together to extract some promises from them.

    Posted by debo.v2 on 2005 10 26 at 04:47 PM • permalink

  13. IraOver - you got it in one.

    Posted by debo.v2 on 2005 10 26 at 05:12 PM • permalink

  14. How dare you question his patriotism!

    Posted by c. austin on 2005 10 26 at 05:12 PM • permalink

  15. I’d just like to point out that it is the public at large which decides whether an event is ‘major’ or not.

    Examples:

    World Series - major.

    Predictable regurgitated mess of half-baked nonsense spewed in monotone by botoxed self-important blowhard - very very minor.

    Posted by Crispytoast on 2005 10 26 at 07:01 PM • permalink

  16. As usual with the Democrats these days, there’s the promise of lots of questions, but not one word about them coming up with any useful answers. In other words, just yet another whingefest.

    Posted by PW on 2005 10 26 at 07:03 PM • permalink

  17. A major John Kerry speech is like a strong Democratic foreign policy.  You hear about it, but…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 10 26 at 07:57 PM • permalink

  18. Achieving what needs to be achieved in Iraq is all about achieving Kerry’s own political needs and goals, the “as long as it takes” bit is the new translation of by any means necessary from the Old (Winter Soldier era) Playbook, and really means the same thing as the “Achieving” bit - it’s not about Iraq or anybody else, it’s about Kerry.

    Posted by -keith in mtn. view on 2005 10 26 at 08:01 PM • permalink

  19. He’s such a hotshot who’s going to fix all of Chimpy McBushburton’s blunders, whatever happened to his campaign to get increased funding for struggling military families?  Seems a bit silent on that, lately.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 10 26 at 08:12 PM • permalink

  20. John Kerry sends you emails, Tim? And not ME?
    Up him! That’s another name off the list - no more Christmas cards for that Senator.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2005 10 26 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  21. So we make sure we are achieving what needs to be achieved in Iraq but we dont stay for as long as it takes to achieve that result.

    Is this the new omnipotence paradox ?

    Posted by lingus4 on 2005 10 26 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  22. Remind me - what was FDR’s timeframe for bringing the boys home in WWII?

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 10 26 at 08:47 PM • permalink

  23. Dave S.—Hey Mother Sheehan has been bravely speaking truth to power and demanding the US pull out of Europe AND New Orleans.  Of course, they both pee in their bank accounts every time we threaten to…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 10 26 at 09:05 PM • permalink

  24. Well, answer as to ‘how do we bring the troops home’ is not difficult - by using aircraft and troop ships. Perhaps he really meant ‘when do we bring the troops home’. If Kerry can’t even get the question right, what chance he’ll get the answer right?

    Posted by larrikin on 2005 10 26 at 09:57 PM • permalink

  25. Yes, he is good at perfectly stupid bloviating. But how many readers of “People” magazine (one metric of human stupidity) will be taken in by his cool hair-do? That is the real scary story.

    Posted by narley on 2005 10 26 at 10:08 PM • permalink

  26. And he flip-flopped on that speech!

    Posted by Leigh on 2005 10 26 at 10:28 PM • permalink

  27. I want to speak truth to power!

    I want to speak truth to power!!

    Power! I want to speak truth to you!!!

    I want to be break out, and speak truth to power!

    Power, where art thou?

    Posted by rinardman on 2005 10 26 at 10:44 PM • permalink

  28. John Kerry sends you emails, Tim? And not ME?
    I get them twice, once as Sirhan Sirhan and the other as Mr Conjuring Chapeau- all you had to do was register for one of his daffy polls. Now I can’t get rid of the horse-faced turd. (Speaking of which, it’s quite couragous for one with such equine features to be a Francophile- after all, he could be sashaying down the rue and next thing he’s in the
    window of a boucherie chevaline- and that’s one dinner that’d give you the gallops).

    Posted by Habib on 2005 10 27 at 12:54 AM • permalink

  29. #12 Debo Number 5 is, I think, a reprise of the Paris peace talks aka let’s sell out Iraq to the Syrians.

    Posted by Just Another Bloody Lawyer on 2005 10 27 at 01:16 AM • permalink

  30. (The Real) JeffS: Jeez, does this guy still think he counts for something?

    Jimmy Carter*, William Jefferson Clinton, John “F” Kerry-- why is it that these guys just can’t let go?

    Thanks for breaking 200 years of tradition, Bill, when you decided that former presidents are under no duty to keep their damn mouths shut and let the current president do his job without your salt.

    *winner, Nobel “Peace” Prize.  See also: “Yassar Arafat”.

    Posted by zeppenwolf on 2005 10 27 at 04:18 AM • permalink

  31. What is this “speak truth to power” thing?  What’s the phrase supposed to mean?  How does one do such a thing?  Anyone?

    Posted by Janice on 2005 10 27 at 06:39 AM • permalink

  32. Well, he’s an expert on “cut and run” as he displayed his real identity in Viet Nam. A couple of phony or minor scrapes and he gets himself shipped home early. Meanwhile, the rest of his unit was left to get shot up.

    Now, he wants to bring troops back to the US early so we can weaken Coalition defenses while the terrorist campaign is in full swing.

    I guess he’s using his vaunted “nuanced” interpretive skills to comprehend the strategic situation on the ground in Iraq. Being an expert on that from his 3 months service in the Nam, I guess he’s entitled.

    Thank God he’s not the Commander in Chief. For all his faults, W is, by far, light years beyond this gentleman’s abilities.

    Posted by ctchrmkr on 2005 10 27 at 08:40 AM • permalink

  33. ’Later today, I will deliver a major speech ‘

    Hee hee hee. ‘Major?’. The whole world waits with baited breath, not.

    Posted by IcallMasICM on 2005 10 27 at 09:31 AM • permalink

  34. #31, Janice.  “Speaking truth to power” is absolutely meaningless when done in a free society.  Anyone can do it, and people who brag about it are puffed-up little toadies who want to be taken seriously but don’t have the substance.

    True speaking truth to power would have been the generals of the Iraqi Republican Guard standing up to Saddam and telling him he couldn’t keep starving and murdering his own people, and that he must tell the truth about his WMD.  Of course, they immediately would have been fed to the plastic shredders.

    That’s the difference.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 10 27 at 11:25 AM • permalink

  35. Thank God he’s not the Commander in Chief. For all his faults, W is, by far, light years beyond this gentleman’s abilities.

    In fact, the one thing that always scared me the most about the idea of Kerry as CinC is that he’s exactly the kind of guy who would probably end up micro(mis)managing the whole thing because of his inflated opinion of his own military service. You just know that he really does consider himself the heroic soldier that he likes to paint himself as.

    Posted by PW on 2005 10 27 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  36. I have every faith that John Kerry as CiC would have taken us straight back from Desert Storm to Desert One.

    Of course, he then would have claimed he opposed the operation all along…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 10 27 at 08:55 PM • permalink

  37. #35 PW, you’re absolutely right. Shades of LBJ micromanaging VietNam all over again.

    #36 Richard: No, I think it would be more accurate to expect JK to state that he opposed the war after he voted for the war. In fact....I think he said that!

    But, you’re right. With JK as CIC, Back to Desert One. In fact, Back to Desert Minus One. Wind-up Assault craft. But, with a good array of condiments this time. With JK and Teresa, An Army travels on its condiments.

    Posted by ctchrmkr on 2005 10 28 at 03:33 AM • permalink

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