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MAINTAIN VERTICALITY
“Vertical drinking,” reports the London Times, “is a new term for what used to be called standing at the bar.” And it’s under threat of a ban!
Quite right. If you can still stand, it means you’re a aipper. Sippers have no business being in a bar.
Posted by Jim Geones on 2006 08 04 at 11:47 AM • permalinkI once came across a law like this in Yellowknife in the Northwest Territories of Canada. I went up to the bar to order a drink and was told I wouldn’t be served unless I was sitting at a table. Of course later they told me that I wouldn’t be served since I’d been asleep at the table. They sure had a lot of rules for a bar full of drunk miners and Indians. Come to think of it, that’s probably why they had all the rules.
First they came for the jello shots, and I didn’t speak up because I was playing quarters.
Then they came for the beer bongs, and I didn’t speak up because I still had my two-can beer helmet.
Then they came for the vertical drinking, and no one was left to speak up for me, because we were all pretty much blotto at that point.
Well, in a general way, this is a pretty good indication of what’s wrong everywhere in the West.
I read many bios’ of men involved in the decisions made in the 30’s and 40’s and yes…there was the same (or even worse) feeling in the air, with some differences.
Back then, America really was weak - with an army rated below Portugal. No longer.
Back then, there was only one source of information - the media with radio and print. No longer.
Back then, after decades of appeasement, when we had to get into it - We did with a vengeance. The appeasers were swept away and no one remembers their names.
My biggest source of optimism for the future is that last bit. These Islamists have been increasingly testing the West for 50 years…they certainly won’t stop, and surely will escalate.
Unlike the Axis, the Arabs do not have the wherewithal to support a World War. They can only rub hurtfully (and sometimes spectacularly) against their neighbors.
The day they get so confident that they can come out into the open is the day they get pushed into the desert for another 400 years. If they never come out, their current tactics will wear away the patience of the West until the word ‘proportionate’ is removed permanently from the dictionary.
Most of the world is only a source for lip-service. Who cares what they say? They’ll never do anything.
The Bomb you say? The Bomb only has worth if you don’t use it…and the answer to one nuke is two.
Demographics? Are a billion Muzzies more powerful than a billion Chinese, a billion Hindu, half a billion Slavs, and a billion Anglos?
Patience? Do they look patient to you?
If it comes down to the Anglosphere at last, I think we would do the WWII generation proud. The old problem is the same…they need to be smacked back now, cuz it’s only going to get more bloody later. Islam Delenda Est.
What’s next? Banning any horizontal sex positions?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 08 04 at 01:05 PM • permalinkLessee, that will mean no drinking at the billiards table or dartsboard. Seems profoundly unBritish.
I much prefer standing to sitting on high bar stools where my feet are forced to dangle uncomfortably. This clearly is a discriminatory assault on short people.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 08 04 at 01:21 PM • permalinkOT—Standing or sitting, I’ll buy a round when this happens: Rangel Plans Exit if Party Fails
Representative Charles B. Rangel, the dean of New York’s Congressional delegation, said on Wednesday that he would leave Congress if Democrats failed to win control of the House of Representatives in the fall elections.
“If that is what America wants, then it does not want me,” he said.
Except for the kook fringes and the folks up in Harlem, America doesn’t want you, Charlie. Never has. Too bad it took you 35 years to figure that out.
Please return now to your regularly scheduled commentary. Apologies for the intrusion.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 08 04 at 01:54 PM • permalinkWe’ve got that here in Massachusetts. Laws and regulations about liquor are pretty much local option. One neighboring town has exactly this law in place. They wanted to allow restaurants to serve alcohol with meals, but didn’t want bars. (My town at one time had a notorious biker bar. The town had to revoke the bar’s permit after a series of very nasty incidents, including a homicide.)
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But… but… but you could choke to death if you have to drink lying down!