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LISTEN LIKE NOAH
It’s boat time, says Democrat congressional candidate Robin Weirauch:
The first time humans were warned about a big flood, the message came directly from God, and Noah listened, even though everyone surely told him he was crazy.
This time, mere mortals of science and reason are the messengers, but God is still speaking to many of us when He tells us to take care of His creation. Will we listen like Noah? Or will we continue to doubt until it is finally too late?
Better start pairing up the spy squirrels and monster ducks. Biology professor - and self-confessed Presbyterian - Carl N. McDaniel also invokes the great mariner:
I think being spiritual is a deep part of human nature. It’s a blessing and a curse. Take the great story of Noah, the first real biodiversity specialist. We as humans need to learn from that biblical tradition, because we’re in the early stages of what you call a mass extinction and we can’t build an ark big enough for all 6 billion of us. We need to treat the Earth as our ark now, before it’s too late.
Sometimes it almost seems as though this “global warming” caper is developing, I don’t know, a slightly religious aspect.
UPDATE. In other boating news, a London Times reader is annoyed by inaccurate weather predictions:
I bought a yacht earlier in the year and consequently I’ve been paying very careful attention to weather forecasts from the Met office - basically, they’re bunk!
Check the forecast for tomorrow in the morning and it will be one thing, check in the afternoon and it will be something else, and when tomorrow arrives, the weather is a third unpredicted thing entirely. This has been a consistent pattern about 2/3rds of the time since April. They just make it up! Sack the lot of them and just guess that tomorrow’s weather will be like today’s and you’ll more than likely be right.
As for this winter’s weather; it will be a surprise, won’t it? There’s certainly no way the muppets at the Met office could predict it.
- Michael, Brighton, England
The first time humans were warned about a big flood, the message came directly from God, and Noah listened, even though everyone surely told him he was crazy.
And after that big flood, God put a rainbow in the sky as a sign that there would never again be a flood like that.
I’m not even a Christian, but I know the Bible better than this idiot does. Who is he trying to fool?
Posted by Evil Pundit on 2007 07 15 at 08:41 AM • permalinkFirst thing we do is, see, we build a big spaceship. And we name it The Ark, see? And we round up all the people who are convinced we’re all about to die of climate apocalypse, and we shoot them off into space, so they can be saved.
Oooo! And it would be totally cool if, at the end, when they’re coming up on their new planet, they say something like, “There it is…our new beginning now that our world is dying. Our new home - Earth!”
#2 Include the telephone sanitisers.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 15 at 08:53 AM • permalink#3 “And after that big flood, God put a rainbow in the sky as a sign that there would never again be a flood like that.”
Evil Pundit, a lot of the Christian clergy are no longer in the business of teaching God’s word but Al Gore’s word.
“[W]e can’t build an ark big enough for all 6 billion of us.” Why would it be necessary to take all six billion? Even Noah took only three breeding pairs. And anyway the Human Genome Project has been completed.
#8, Crossie:
And anyway the Human Genome Project has been completed.
Umm..maybe not. There was something recently about all that “junk” material in genes or DNA or whatever it is. They’re now thinking that stuff that was thought to be all just junk is actually the codes for where to build and how much to build.
All this talk about building a huge spaceship to save humanity from the destruction is hardly a new idea.
OTOH, since we are discussing Michael The Moor and Gorezilla, this means a HUGE spaceship…...unless we just tow them behind the ship.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 15 at 09:55 AM • permalink#9 “Umm..maybe not. There was something recently about all that “junk” material in genes or DNA or whatever it is.”
Oh well, Grimmy, then it’s back to the breeding pairs. Didn’t a James Bond film have in the plot beautiful and youthful pairs being blasted off into space on space shuttles while the Earth was being ‘reorganised’?
Their ranting reminds me of the great scene from Ghostbusters:
Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, “biblical”?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes…
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.#22, TRJ:
That just gave me an idea…
What if, we could set these two universal suckers into a slightly offset orbit of each other?
It should be, for all intents and purposes, a perpetual (if moronic) motion mechanism. The energy produced would be gianormous. Would it be enough to power a device that sucked all the excess flood water and icky carbon stuffs and spit them out into space?
Why should we leave when we can just get rid of the stuff that’s bugging us?
The moving parts of the device could be oiled by application of greasy hippies, win win.
Record cold snaps all over Australia and the heaviest snow falls in decades continue. Don’t you just love it? The Oz: global coldening is upon us.
Standard British weather forecast:
Sunny periods with scattered showers.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 15 at 11:06 AM • permalinkI wish Al Gore would come to Orlando. It’s supposed to go up into the mid-90s* today.
*All temperature measurements in Fahrenheit, the REAL MAN’S temperature measurement system.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 07 15 at 11:08 AM • permalinkAll temperature measurements in Fahrenheit, the REAL MAN’S temperature measurement system
Amen.
Preach it sister, preach it!
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 07 15 at 11:16 AM • permalinkRe #37, the wolf: Behold, the cubit!
/pendant
I was just a kid, but I remember thinking how they’d ruined a perfectly good storyline with an absolute crap show.
Yeah, TB, my brother and I would watch every episode, hoping they’d get their act together. Eventually, we realized they wouldn’t, and we stopped watching that craptastic show.
But there’s something of a parallel between “The Starlost” and MM/Gorezilla. Not the storyline, but that all three are losers.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 15 at 01:23 PM • permalinkFirst thing we do is, see, we build a big spaceship. And we name it The Ark, see? And we round up all the people who are convinced we’re all about to die of climate apocalypse, and we shoot them off into space, so they can be saved.
Make sure we keep the telephone santizers…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 15 at 02:37 PM • permalinkThe real JeffS—You’re missing an opportunity here.
We launch Moore, Gorebles and Rosie. When their mutual attractions collapses them together to form a naked singularity, we launch the ship, which of course then begins to fall towards the black hole. But we generate a repulsion field by coating the hull of the ship with a combination of soap, deodorant and carbon. We can vary the intensity by adjusting the amounts of soap and deodorant, giving us maneuverability and a genuine reactionaless drive…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 15 at 03:05 PM • permalink
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The Algoracle and his Profits of Doooom!
So he says it to be, so it shall be written, so we can laugh at his dumb arse tomorrow.