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LARA LURES

Leftists didn’t think much of Australia’s most recent tourism promotion. It seems to have worked, however:

The controversial “So where the bloody hell are you?’ travel campaign has been credited with netting Australia an extra $1.8 billion tourism dollars last year.

In the year since the controversial advertising campaign, starring Lara Bingle, was launched, tourist spending topped $14 billion.

Tourism slogans devised by our leftoid pals would be interesting: “Visit Australia - Share Our Shame”; “Get Me Out of Here”; “Not Many Zionists”; “Condemned by the United Nations!”, and so on. Actually, that last one would probably work quite well.

Posted by Tim B. on 03/08/2007 at 09:48 AM
  1. “Feeling guilty? Transport yourself Down Under!”

    Posted by JDB on 2007 03 08 at 09:52 AM • permalink

  2. “If our critters don’t kill you, our plants will”

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 03 08 at 10:03 AM • permalink

  3. “Let our sharks, snakes, spiders and crocodiles reduce your carbon footprint!”

    Posted by squawkbox on 2007 03 08 at 10:05 AM • permalink

  4. “Welcome to Australia - keep your meat covered.”

    Posted by Don Charleone on 2007 03 08 at 10:06 AM • permalink

  5. When the Greenland icecap melts, where would you rather spend your last days?  Freezing your ass off on Mount Everest, or partying your ass off on Ayers Rock?

    Posted by Diggs on 2007 03 08 at 10:09 AM • permalink

  6. Just more proof that Americans have no bloody clue what ‘bloody’ means; but we think it’s cute in principle. Kind of like Koalas - nasty little drugged up sexual deviants in truth, but cute to the ignorant American.

    Posted by brett_l on 2007 03 08 at 10:28 AM • permalink

  7. Visit Australia! Just make sure you free David Hicks before you do.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 03 08 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  8. Behold the wonder that is beautiful downtown Geothermia.  The Morlocks await you….

    Posted by Apostic on 2007 03 08 at 10:33 AM • permalink

  9. Come to Australia and take whack at Margo and Anthony Loewenstein and Andrew Leunig.  Cricket bats will be provided.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 03 08 at 10:36 AM • permalink

  10. I can’t think of a good slogan right now but you Aussies really should market National Sorry Day as an international comedy event, obviously you would have to keep it secret from the Sorryists themselves.

    Posted by Ross on 2007 03 08 at 10:36 AM • permalink

  11. No thappy? Paddle your zero-pollution rowboat to Australia! Lefty politics required for entry. Other restrictions may apply.

    Posted by Spectre765 on 2007 03 08 at 10:40 AM • permalink

  12. Cute ad, but I’m not sure it would tempt me to come to Australia.  The copy says that this enormous sea beast has been on a ``strict plankton diet,’’ and my guess is that she’s hungry and irritable, and what tourist really wants to put himself in the way of that? 

    BTW I had a look at the men’s-magazine photo of Lara Bingle.  I don’t think she’s a C cup; more likely an E.

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2007 03 08 at 10:52 AM • permalink

  13. Leftists didn’t think much of Australia’s most recent tourism promotion. It seems to have worked, however:

    Shouldn’t that be:

    Leftists didn’t think much of Australia’s most recent tourism promotion. So it should be no surprise that it worked:

    Posted by R C Dean on 2007 03 08 at 10:54 AM • permalink

  14. >Shouldn’t that be:

    >Leftists didn’t think much of Australia’s most recent tourism promotion. So it should be no surprise that it worked:

    Really, shouldn’t it be:

    Leftists didn’t think much of Australia or the rest of the Western World for that matter.

    Posted by Room 237 on 2007 03 08 at 11:17 AM • permalink

  15. “David Hicks hated us, so will you!”

    Posted by Patricia on 2007 03 08 at 11:25 AM • permalink

  16. Australia: Al Gore Came Here; Now Enjoy the Skiing!

    Australia: Because You Always Wanted to See Just How Much You Could Drink

    Hey, these are better than the other popular slogans:

    Scotland: Why the Fook Not?

    or the classic Lefty travelogue:

    Visit Soviet Union Before Soviet Union Visits You

    Posted by SoberHT on 2007 03 08 at 11:28 AM • permalink

  17. “but cute to the ignorant American. “

    I take exception to this comment. How dare this brett_l characterize us in this manner!?!!

    It’s ‘fat American minion’ to you mate!

    g’‘'day. (That’s aussie talk!)

    isn’t it?

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 03 08 at 11:28 AM • permalink

  18. Bring back the Qantas koala and have it say “Sorry”, sez I.

    Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2007 03 08 at 11:58 AM • permalink

  19. Australia, Muslim even before Islam was invented!

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 03 08 at 11:59 AM • permalink

  20. Any nation condemned by the UN would have to be the safest, most prosperous, most fun nation to visit.  I say go with that one.

    “Australia:  unencumbered by UN protection.  Progessives hate us.”

    Works for me.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 03 08 at 12:10 PM • permalink

  21. Hmmmm.

    “Welcome to Australia - keep your meat covered.”

    Frankly we could use a slogan like that around here along the New Jersey Shore.

    We get a lot of New York City idiots that like to parade around in skimpy swimwear.  The girls I have no issue with as I like to girl-watch.  Having guys walking around in skimpy thongs makes me want to puke.

    Posted by memomachine on 2007 03 08 at 12:49 PM • permalink

  22. Hmmm.

    Or how about:

    “Australia is a land of endless vineyards.  So come on over and turn our excellent Cabernet Sauvignons into piss!”

    or

    “Australia!  The land where we know how to tell uppity foreigners to bugger the hell off!”

    hehehe

    Posted by memomachine on 2007 03 08 at 12:55 PM • permalink

  23. #17 Blue:

    Until one of those drugged, deviant Koalas stole my girlfriend and my wallet; I, too, was an ignorant American. Koalas are like Reality, after you’ve been mugged by ‘em, you become a FAM. (or at least I did)

    Since I voted for GWB thrice, I think my minionage is assured.

    Posted by brett_l on 2007 03 08 at 02:43 PM • permalink

  24. I think the lefty version would have to be “Why the bloody hell would you want to come here anyway?”

    Posted by PW on 2007 03 08 at 02:58 PM • permalink

  25. Come to Australia - Because you always kind of wondered who was in the coalition of the bribed anyway.

    Race down to Cronulla, for a riotously good time.

    Posted by Behemoth on 2007 03 08 at 02:58 PM • permalink

  26. >>Shouldn’t that be:

    >>Leftists didn’t think much of Australia’s most recent tourism promotion. So it should be no surprise that it worked:

    >Really, shouldn’t it be:

    >Leftists didn’t think much of Australia or the rest of the Western World for that matter.

    No, it’s still too wordy. How about this:

    Leftists don’t think much.

    Posted by sundog on 2007 03 08 at 02:59 PM • permalink

  27. Visit beautiful Australia - where the only thing the snakes are scared of is the spiders!

    Posted by mojo on 2007 03 08 at 03:01 PM • permalink

  28. #23: Wow, a drugged, deviant koala stole your girlfriend eh?

    You have any video of that?

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 03 08 at 03:44 PM • permalink

  29. Quick! See it before the 4” deluge caused by AL Gores mansion submerges the continent.

    http://www.livescience.com/environment/050317_global_warming.html

    Will anyone notice?  Other than Barnicles.

    Posted by hollingshead on 2007 03 08 at 03:46 PM • permalink

  30. Leftists didn’t think much of Australia’s most recent tourism promotion.

    Leftists don’t think much of tourism, period. Unless it’s them doing it. But then, they call it “travel”. Tourism is tacky; travel broadens the mind. Even Leftists in New Zealand hate tourism and would love to see it taxed/legislated out of existence.

    The bottom line is not that Lara’s ad was crass and tacky, but that TOURISM is crass and tacky, from the Leftist viewpoint. (But “Travel” isn’t - just ask Al Gore!)

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 03 08 at 04:04 PM • permalink

  31. #28:

    Well, the little bastard didn’t get too far. I mean, they aren’t quite 3 Toed Sloth slow, but he was doped to his wee, fuzzy gills. I mean, the thing was higher than a Brit-Rock drummer in the 70s.

    Posted by brett_l on 2007 03 08 at 04:22 PM • permalink

  32. #30 you know, I do believe Albury has got it!

    Posted by entropy on 2007 03 08 at 04:51 PM • permalink

  33. “Australia - More than just John Pilger”

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 03 08 at 06:42 PM • permalink

  34. New Australian Tourist Slogan

    “So where the bloody hell are we? Islamic Indonesia, Islamic-funded Australia or down town Lebannon?”

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 08 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  35. No, you’re all wrong. Here it is:

    Tilt Your Head Towards Australia.

    Posted by ilibcc on 2007 03 08 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  36. #30

    Leftists don’t think much of tourism, period. Unless it’s them doing it. But then, they call it “travel”

    I never realised it, but you are absolutely right. I met a foreigner of bedraggled hippy appearance carrying a backpack. I asked her how long she’d been on holidays backpacking, and she actually corrected me and pointed out she was a “traveller”, not on holidays.

    I asked her whether she was “travelling” with her “backpack”...

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 03 08 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  37. I never realised it, but you are absolutely right. I met a foreigner of bedraggled hippy appearance carrying a backpack. I asked her how long she’d been on holidays backpacking, and she actually corrected me and pointed out she was a “traveller”, not on holidays.

    It’s all in the mind set. Working class plebs, “aspirational Australians”, go on cruises and do other touristy stuff. The would-be cultural elites, like our old friend David Williamson, “travel”.

    Then there’s Leunig, who lets God do all the travelling, by visiting Mike in his own back paddock.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 03 08 at 08:58 PM • permalink

  38. Leftists hate themselves and any country/state/city they happen to be in at the time.  I thought Lara’s ad was sensational and needed no improvement.

    Posted by allan on 2007 03 08 at 08:59 PM • permalink

  39. Here’s an unexpected angle discovered by a Slate correspondent.
    “Bollocks, mate. A bunch of Disneyland bollocks, that is. You wanna experience real aboriginal culture? Try cashing a welfare check and going on the piss for two weeks. Get into a punch up, huff some petrol, pass out in the Todd River. Maybe steal a car and drive it bush, use it as a house until your next welfare check arrives. That’s aboriginal culture, mate, not some spear-chucking, Garden of Eden horseshit.”

    Posted by Angela Bell on 2007 03 08 at 09:02 PM • permalink

  40. Dear Mr Blair,

    I have edited your post, so that it now covers all future postings. Your blog is no longer necessary except to chat about cricket, wine and cars.

    Leftists didn’t think much.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 03 08 at 10:28 PM • permalink

  41. “If our critters don’t kill you, our plants will”

    Except for “Some of the sheep.”

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 03 08 at 10:52 PM • permalink

  42. We are deeply concerned that you will think less of us if David Hicks is not here to greet you.  I would say to all lefty tourists “Go and Fuck yourselves” anywhere but Australia.

    Posted by Howzat on 2007 03 09 at 02:08 AM • permalink

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