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LAPTOP FOUND

James Lileks reviews airport security:

There was a peculiar event in a Houston airport check-in line recently: A fellow shook his head no when asked if his luggage had a laptop; the X-ray machine found a laptop. He also had a Quran, which means nothing, and a clock with a battery taped to the casing, which is perfectly normal. The heels of his shoes had been hollowed out—but perhaps he had intended to load them with Cheez Whiz for an in-flight snack. He also had a Middle Eastern name, which surely confirmed the senseless Islamophobia of the screeners, and bought him an hour with the rubber hose in a TSA office.

Actually, he was cleared for travel and allowed to board. Did you expect otherwise?

Damn that Chimpeachler McRenditionpretzel and his cabal of ZionTexan civil rights extractors. When will the nightmare of people being asked if they have laptops finally end?

Posted by Tim B. on 07/13/2006 at 10:00 AM
  1. Mohammed Ahwar Bataineh

    Posted by paulris on 2006 07 13 at 10:17 AM • permalink

  2. Operation “CIA operative posing like a Terrorist in Texas” was a complete success!

    Posted by Easycure on 2006 07 13 at 10:25 AM • permalink

  3. When will the nightmare of people being asked if they have laptops finally end?

    When a smidgen of verbiage is changed, in Lileks sentence.

    These guys aren’t going away by whatever means necessary. ForEver.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 13 at 10:26 AM • permalink

  4. The backtracking began right away to make this all sound less sinister, but it just raised more questions. Apparently he uses the laptop solely as an alarm clock. Assume this is so and that the 9-volt battery is enough to operate it (most laptops require 12 volts, plus or minus 5 to 10 percent, not minus 25 percent). How many expensive 9-volts do you go through in a week? Why lug a 3 kg laptop to do what a tiny, cheap travel alarm would do better? Space is at a premium, not just in carry-ons, but in the truck cabin he soon expected to work in.

    Why was he fired from his new job within hours after the FBI cleared him? Yes, as a business owner I may not want an employee who is likely to attract future false suspicion, but that doesn’t mean I can disciminate by proxy. That’s asking to be sued, unless there are other details.

    Posted by bobpence on 2006 07 13 at 10:40 AM • permalink

  5. I sincerely hope that somebody in the TSA thought “test run” and now said unspecified, non racially profiled individual cannot move outside his front door without the FBI on his tail.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 07 13 at 10:41 AM • permalink

  6. Nice Tim.

    Don’t let the facts get in the way of your hysteria.

    “They were just old shoes,” Hoffman said. “(Reece) did put the battery in the clock to make sure it worked as a clock, and it did.”

    Do you bother to confirm the reports, Tim, or is linking to another ill informed blogger enough evidence?

    Posted by gustov_deleft on 2006 07 13 at 10:42 AM • permalink

  7. I would have expected otherwise if it was a Christian granny of Anglo-Celtic extraction. Then the airport authorities would have probably locked her up to prove their PC credentials and credulousness.

    Posted by Jim Geones on 2006 07 13 at 10:43 AM • permalink

  8. So we fired Norm Mineta.  Now we have to fire everyone he hired.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 13 at 10:46 AM • permalink

  9. From Lileks: “But there’s a middle ground between complacency and paranoia. It’s probably where you’re standing today.”

    I’d say that’s just about right - at least for the majority of Americans. Of course, there’s the intelligentsia, largely (though not exclusively)a nincompotpurri of academics, celebrities and journalists who continue to believe either that (a) terrorism is a “Reichstag” fire set by Bush & Co., or (b) it is real enough, but will go away if we just roll over and waggle our paws in the air submissively.

    Posted by paco on 2006 07 13 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  10. Richard Reid was thought to be an innocent screwball, too.  Good thing the flight attendant violated his civil rights and decked him. 

    9/11 happened.  Deal with it.

    Posted by Patricia on 2006 07 13 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  11. Oh shut up gustov_deleft. You have contributed posts of value here exactly ZERO times. All you EVER do is beg for confrontation. Do you actually believe the things you say in your posts?  Do you actually believe your boyfriend when he tells you he’ll only stick the head in EVERY FRICKIN NIGHT?
    Yeah, you probably do.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 13 at 11:24 AM • permalink

  12. Ummmm, you know, there are four ways to deal with a/the pseudo-elitist, pseudo-intellectual Leftists that post on this Blog.

    One. Savage him or her.
    Two. Ridicule him or her.
    Three. Ignore him or her.
    Four. Ban him or her.

    A determination of the powers that be, on Tim Blair’s Blog, has been made for #One and #Two. #Four has been ruled out, at this time. I choose #Three, for the time being.

    It is a given, that free speech does cut both ways. Something that escapes the pseudo-elitist, pseudo-intellectual Leftists.

    Will gladly, partake in #One and #Two, should it become necessary OR I choose to do so, BUT with the pseudo-elitist, pseudo-intellectual Leftists, to me, it equates to this…you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 13 at 11:30 AM • permalink

  13. It sure is fortunate that we have gustov of the lunatricks to keep us calm. A Moslem with the Koran and hallowed out heels, who carries a laptop and denies he has one ‘cause he calls it an alarm clock (laptock), tries to board an aircraft, and we are suspicious? Come on, he’s no doubt a Yale professor who can’t afford an alarm wristwatch or an old fashioned tick tock, unwired to a battery. DeLeft can’t wait for the day when a planeload of people are blown away due to lax security so he can blame it all on Bush.

    Posted by stats on 2006 07 13 at 11:32 AM • permalink

  14. This is exactly why I’ve always supported the war in Iraq.  If we can get democracy to take root in the Middle East, and get those dead economies up and running (and not so dependent on oil alone), and finally, finally introduce traditional Muslim societies to some healthy secularism, this jihadi crap will die away eventually.  It’s going to take decades, and I hope we don’t get so complacent in the meantime as to let the jihadis pull another one.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 13 at 11:53 AM • permalink

  15. gustov cannot be for real. He must be a sock puppet of one of you jokesters. No human skull can be this impenetrable to common sense.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 07 13 at 12:05 PM • permalink

  16. He is a sock puppet, Dave S.  Of Adammo/LLL/various other wankers, and I suspect them all of being the sock puppets of Pissant Loewenstink.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 13 at 12:19 PM • permalink

  17. Of course, the good thing about Goose Step is the brevity of his comments: little radio bursts of petulant stupidity that can be ignored without any fear of having missed something significant.

    Posted by paco on 2006 07 13 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  18. The clock had the battery TAPED to it, gustov_deleft, you frigging moron—oh, the hell with it.  It’s not like you come back and respond or anything, you twerp.

    Nice weather we’re having lately.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 07 13 at 02:04 PM • permalink

  19. This happened to me. Mum sick, had to travel to US quickly, last passport issued ‘95 in Amsterdam, now expired. Went to Melbourne Consulate, nice folks granted me an emergency passport (non-biometric variety—takes min. 6 weeks to get one from PA).

    Arrived SFO, allow three hours to get to North Coast. Phone rings, Mum says, “It’s for you”.

    Them: “Are you So&So;”

    Me:: “Yes”

    Them: “We are a collection Service for Bank of America. Call may be recorded, etc. We need to confirm some details”

    Me:: “Its 7PM Pacific, you folks are dedicated, aren’t you? What can I do for you?”

    Them: “Sir, 15 years ago you had $61 in a BofA account. Last address noted Hawthorn, VIC?”

    Me:: “Yes. That’s me, but I’ve not lived on Hawthorn since ‘95”.

    Them: “Well, sir, what with fees and charges, the account is now -$89.”

    Me:: “You waited 15 years to tell me this?”

    Them: “What is your current address in Australia, please?”

    Me:: “It’s blah blah (truth told). Now, who is this really?”

    Them: “As we said, sir, etc. etc.”

    Me:: “Tell you what, send me the request, I’ll frame it and put it above my desk—I could use a laugh—cuz you’ve got bugger all chance of getting a dime out of me.”

    Them: “Yes Sir.”

    Me:: “Now, I’d like to thank you and the State Department for being on the job, now you know I am who I said I was and I’ve arrived where I said I was going, you can rest easy. Give my regards to Ms. Rice, and tell her she can be proud of her staff.”

    Them: “(series of clicks, muffled laughter) Yes Sir, we will. Thank you for your time”

    What do you reckon? Me and my brothers laughed ourselves sick and then reflected on how proud we were to be Americans.

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 07 13 at 04:54 PM • permalink

  20. Oh yeah, one day after my return last month, email from the IRS—$68 refund due (never had one before). Link followed, “404 page not found”. Replied to email, “Administrative error” and bounce.

    Good on ‘em, I say—they got me coming going.

    Heh heh.

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 07 13 at 04:58 PM • permalink

  21. A point that seems to have esacped some commenters, perhaps because it was not mentioned in the quoted article: the TSA (for once correctly) wanted to hold the man. It was a Houston cop who decided not to, because no actual explosives were found - just every other component - and the cop’s computer was down so he couldn’t make a check (waht, he couldn’t call downtown for it?) on the guy.

    Posted by John Anderson on 2006 07 13 at 06:10 PM • permalink

  22. You know, as comprehensively as gustov’s “arguments” are being sunk every time he pops up, maybe he should rename himself Gustloff.

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 13 at 06:57 PM • permalink

  23. Gah, link buggered due to parentheses. Well, you’ll surely know what I was linking to.

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 13 at 06:59 PM • permalink

  24. What did they find on the laptop hard drive, I wonder?  Or didn’t they look?

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 07 13 at 07:36 PM • permalink

  25. My god.  Isn’t this proof of the fact that security does work?

    Posted by gustov_deleft on 2006 07 13 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  26. From:

    Actually, he was cleared for travel and allowed to board.

    To:

    My god. Isn’t this proof of the fact that security does work?

    My god. That’s better than an entire squadron of tiny cars full of clowns.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 07 13 at 09:27 PM • permalink

  27. Or even a squadron of cars full of tiny clowns…

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 13 at 09:35 PM • permalink

  28. This is completely bizarre.  There are guys in the US doing 25 years for uttering the word Jihad while playing paint ball.

    All those gadgets and no evidence of explosives?  In all fairness to the FBI, this dude could not have made himself more obvious or conspicuous, they probably concluded he was put up to it as part of a bachelor party prank.

    Just goes to show where the DHS and FBI are at these days - they have been reduced to a marketing arms of the government.  The FBI puts on a Monty Python show and rolls out the not so magnificent Miami 7, who with no money, no motive, no clue, no plan, and Gonzales still concludes that they were on the brink of inflicting an attack greater that 911!!

    Maybe they government is spending too much time listening in on phone sex conversations, and not enough on checking what’s inside the bag.

    Posted by Addamo on 2006 07 13 at 10:44 PM • permalink

  29. Andrea, this place is like a fleet of small cars filled with wingnuts.

    What is it that you don’t understand, Andrea? 

    Tim linked to another wingnut who was frothing at the mouth about something that didn’t happen.  A guy was cleared to travel, however, the security check found he was carrying a laptop a clock and no explosives.  And guess what?  The plane didn’t blow up.  Are you suggesting that security didn’t work, and if so, how?

    Posted by gustov_deleft on 2006 07 13 at 11:04 PM • permalink

  30. Been hearing those odd clicks and noises when you dial 900 numbers, eh Addamo?

    Tsk Tsk.

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 07 13 at 11:16 PM • permalink

  31. Wow.  AddamsFamily and gutsy in consecutive posts!  Andrea, I see this as proof positiove of how this blog ruthlessly quashes dissenting views.

    But you should run up the white flag you know Andrea.  The intellectual power of these two (plus the heat generated by AddamsFamily’s hate for Jews (ie his comments in Lowebstein’s bleat blog) could light up a small city.

    Of amoeba.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 07 13 at 11:19 PM • permalink

  32. Gustov - looks like you were right, it’s not confirmed that the shoes were hollow.

    A guy was cleared to travel, however, the security check found he was carrying a laptop a clock and no explosives.

    Not the whole story is it?

    A laptop - that he denied having.
    A clock - with a battery taped to it.

    Still, you’re right. People are paranoid. Next thing you know, they’ll be saying that those guys of “middle eastern appearance” who boarded with some harmless boxcutters want to hijack the plane and use it in a suicide attack.

    Ridiculous.

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2006 07 13 at 11:56 PM • permalink

  33. Once went to a training session for airport security (oh! those moments of madness)

    Herr Heimlich Himmler, who holds an esteemed position with the company who, against all odds, keeps retaining the airport contract in Australia’s eastern states, and whose badge of office is half a jaw missing where a bullet took out the side of his office, lined up two piles- one was what is supposed to be confiscated at airports; the other pile is what gets confiscated but shouldn’t be. Like babies nappies, babies bum washes, and so on.


    Personally I thought he was taking it a bit far.

    All those former dole queue employees who get a regular job out of airport security are not just zealous - or, some would say- overzealous.

    To me, they are accidentally, by default, on the right track.

    Small cans of deodorant are supposed to be allowed on board, but the el diligantoes were confiscating them anyway- then some idiots who couldn’t get their hands on capsicum spray to use in minor gang skirmishes, started to demonstrate that even the most innocent household items can be put to misuse.

    But babies nappy wash et al !!!!


    Yea. To my mind nothing could be worse than a terrorist threatening to expose for crew and passengers to smell and see some load full of babies excreta and threatening to take over the plane and crash it into the MCG during the Grand Final. The whole nation would collapse.

    So laptops??? Hollowed out shoes???

    NO, no no!!!! Babies bum wash please.

    Posted by MarshallD on 2006 07 14 at 02:51 AM • permalink

  34. Wow.  AddamsFamily and gutsy in consecutive posts!  Andrea, I see this as proof positiove of how this blog ruthlessly quashes dissenting views.

    I’d like to think their furious spinning is indicative of their fear that there’s something to this story.

    Terrorists, trying to probe the air-travel system for weaknesses? C’est impossible!

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 14 at 04:52 AM • permalink

  35. Also, it’s nice to see that Gustloff has now graduated to full moonbat status, if his copious use of “wingnut” is any indication.

    Anybody remember how gussy started out as this mild-mannered lefty who wanted to show us that it’s possible to make a leftish point without coming across like a barking nutcase? Ah, I guess he managed to keep up the charade longer than most other lefty trolls, but as I’ve said before: If a lefty is not behaving like a demented moron, you just haven’t scratched him enough yet.

    Addamo, of course, pretty much started out that way. I prefer that WYSIWYG approach, personally.

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 14 at 04:57 AM • permalink

  36. Also, it’s nice to see that Gustloff has now graduated to full moonbat status, if his copious use of “wingnut” is any indication.

    I’m afraid only a wingnut would make such a comment:)

    Also

    Anybody remember how gussy started out as this mild-mannered lefty who wanted to show us that it’s possible to make a leftish point without coming across like a barking nutcase?

    You’re right my Canadian friend, I did.  However after constantly being told “go fuck yourself” and various other wingnut nuanced passages, I lost my courteousness.

    Anyway, #32 Zoe, My point is that the security found these items, assessed them as not being worthy of detention, and let him through.  No one is suggesting that they would have been let through holding box cutters.

    I’m not saying that the security shouldn’t have been as thorough, or was in any way unjustified. I’m just trying to grasp what point Tim and the other wingnutoid are trying to make.

    Posted by gustov_deleft on 2006 07 14 at 05:14 AM • permalink

  37. #36 gustov_deleft ...I’m just trying to grasp what point Tim and the other wingnutoid are trying to make.

    PW states it clearly here: Terrorists, trying to probe the air-travel system for weaknesses? C’est impossible!

    Recon missions. Or do you believe that lying about having a laptop in your case, carrying a clock with a battery strapped to the outside, and wearing shoes with hollowed out heals is perfectly legitimate?

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 14 at 05:27 AM • permalink

  38. ...and I thought PW was German? You’re saying he’s Canadian?

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 14 at 05:28 AM • permalink

  39. My favorite is how James Lileks, a mild-mannered Midwestern father of one, is transformed by the nervous and sensitive gustov into a “frothing wingnut.” Pure comedy gold.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 07 14 at 07:01 AM • permalink

  40. First, I’m not taking any one blogger as the Gospel truth.
    Second, Even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t take Gustov’‘s version of reality over Lileks.
    Third, I was under the impression that lying about the contents of ones’ luggage was an offense.If not, I believe that it should at least be cause for detention.

    Can anyone prove that someone was convicted in a US court for yelling jihad while playing paintball, and then sentenced to 25 years of imprisonment? Or is Addamo relaying the news as he, and only he sees it!?!

    As for his disparaging evaluation of the suspects in Miami, I could note that the agents landed by the Germans in the US in 1942 were not exactly Bond types, nor were most of the ones they tried landing in England. So what’s the point of harping on their seemingly low quality? The jerk that tried to blow up his shoe was hardly a rocket scientist, but he nearly succeeded.

    On the other hand, your nasty remarks about them might be seen as stifling their dissent, which as we know from the Beloved near Leader John Kerrey, is actually the highest form of patriotism.

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2006 07 14 at 09:42 AM • permalink

  41. #38 TB:

    I must bow to gustov’s superior wisdom about what the heck my nationality is, I suppose, but yeah, until five minutes ago I was pretty sure I’m German.

    The things you learn on the Internet…

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 14 at 11:32 AM • permalink

  42. #33 - Having flown tourist a bit in my younger years, I’m of the firm opinion that diapers and baby wipes should not be confiscated.  Babies, themselves, on the other hand, are an entirely different matter.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 07 14 at 03:10 PM • permalink

  43. The cop was correct, the guy didnt break any laws, he couldnt hold him.  Best he could do is get identification and let him go.  OTOH, you dont have a consitutional right to air travel.  Why they let that guy get on the plane after all that is beyond me.  Pilot has final say if the guy gets on his airplane, I am assuming the TSA informed him of what was going on.  If so, I would guess the pilot was afraid of getting the airline sued.

    Posted by jeff mccabe on 2006 07 14 at 08:05 PM • permalink

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