<< UNIDENTIFIED ISRAELI OBJECTS ~ MAIN ~ JUSTICE DAY >>
LANE NO TWAIN
Terry Lane, somehow still employed, absolutely destroys one of the best-known quotes of modern times:
Mark Twain, or someone else, once said: “We all grumble about the weather but nothing is done about it.” Which made us laugh because we knew then that nothing could be done about it. Well, it is no longer so funny. Now we know that there is something we can do about it ...
But can something be done about Lane?
UPDATE. Paco presents other famous quotes and sayings mangled by Terry Lane:
• “Honesty is one of the better policies.”
• Nathan Hale: “I regret that, countrywise, I have a maximum of one life to give.”
• Queen Victoria: “That’s not funny!”
• Harry Truman: “If you can’t stand the heat in the kitchen, go into the living room.”
• Winston Churchill: “I have nothing to offer, but blood, toil, tears and perspiration.”
UPDATE II. Jim Treacher:
• “Every 60 seconds there’s a baby that’s born who will grow up to be naive.”
Ross:
• “Jesus burst into tears.”
Kiwinews:
• “Was his father the same way? Because the fruit of the apple tree rarely hits the ground at a distance from the trunk.”
• “You can lead a horse to water, but Wronwright stole the lake.”
• “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and maybe get some headtilts, tops.”
CraigC:
• “A suture promptly rendered saves the square root of 81.”
• “All things are equanimous as they relate to both emotional relationships and armed conflict.”
Grimmy:
• “We have nothing to fear except for those things that make us afraid.”
• “Now that it’s winter, no one is very happy.”
Donnah:
• “Good grief, Miss Molly.”
• “Winning’s not everything, but it’s at the top of the list.”
• “Run out the clock for the Gipper.”
• “One if on foot; two if in boats.”
Blogagog:
• “Early birds have to eat worms.”
• “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what your country can do for me.”
• “Mr. Gorbachev, paint that wall!”
Reese:
•“Charlie don’t windsurf!”
Kyda Sylvester:
• “Half a loaf is better than sliced bread.”
Trainer:
• “Shall I compare thee to July 27th?”
Jack Lacton:
• “A bush in the bird is worth two hands.”
Ushie:
• “It’s only popular music with a simple beat, played by a quartet or perhaps a quintet, but I am fond of it.”
Eeniemeenie:
• “One small step for a man - one giant leap for conspiracy theorists.”
As Spiny Norman says: “What’s truly amazing is Lane gets paid good money to write that mush … and you guys produce better for free!”
We will bite them on the features.
You can drink a horse’s water, but cannot lead it.
There is the known and the other known and between them lie the doors of reception.
I ordered a medium steak. It contacted the other side and told them we wanted unconditional surrender.
Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 01 01 at 01:14 PM • permalink“I hate quotations!” - Ralph Waldo Emerson, channelling Terry Lane. Or maybe it’s the other way around - who knows?
Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2007 01 01 at 01:45 PM • permalink“A woman needs a bicycle like a man needs to fish.”
Gloria Steinam
Posted by David Crawford on 2007 01 01 at 02:38 PM • permalinkI had a dream.
And then I woke up and couldn’t remember the good bits.
Martin Luther King.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 02 at 06:42 AM • permalinkWe have nothing to fear but…
...AAAAARRGGHH! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 02 at 06:51 AM • permalinkAsk not for whom the blog trolls;
For the blog trolls for thee.- Hemmingway
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 02 at 08:38 AM • permalinkAt least we’ll always have the capital of France.
Posted by Bill Spencer on 2007 01 02 at 11:55 AM • permalinkGive a man a fish, and he’ll think you’re weird.
Posted by Bill Spencer on 2007 01 02 at 12:06 PM • permalinkThe Biro is slightly superior to the rapier.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 02 at 04:33 PM • permalink“One good turn deserves most of the blanket.”
Posted by bill schumm on 2007 01 02 at 07:15 PM • permalinkTeach a Terry Lane to write and he writes…and writes…and writes…and rights his wrongs.
Where’s the Poignant Asshole con Onanism gag order when you need it?
Paco! This means you!
Posted by carpefraise on 2007 01 02 at 11:51 PM • permalinkahh, should be
“and NEVER rights his wrongs…”damn cognitive failure…
Posted by carpefraise on 2007 01 02 at 11:52 PM • permalinkNo man is an eyeliner.
Give a gentleman a piscatorial delight and he’ll chew it with delicacy and deliberation.
Teach him how to extract one from the deeps and he’ll probably gaze at you in horror and dine on one at a five-star restaurant.
Math is rigid.Posted by carpefraise on 2007 01 02 at 11:57 PM • permalink
Members:
Login | Register
| Member List
Make that
LANE’S CHRISTMAS HAMLET